26 bottles of wine

must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

This reminds me of the best tweet of the holidays: seven swans to rule them all, six geese to find them, five gold rings to bring them all, and in the pear tree bind them

someone said “i have a story idea. humans can live forever but that’s a backdrop. three satellites gain sentience. they love football. this will fuck you up for years.” 

if i was a pirate captain i would get a movie projector and play a movie on the big sails every friday night for my boys to kick back and enjoy some time off unless we were under attack

Pirates legit did the 16-17th century equivalent of this. When things were slow, they would put on plays, act out dramas of stories they knew, or freestyle. The most preferred model of original productions was courtroom drama: “trying” each other for piracy. The “accused” would list off their many, dramatically and humorously embellished crimes, and be equally dramatically sentenced. Sometimes there was a daring escape, sometimes just a really maudlin death scene, but a good time was had by all.

@brideshead

Oh my stars

tag yourself I’m ‘freeloading slacker’

@themaefive @bitchesgetriches

We are HERE for chicken shaming.

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