howdy y'all, actuallymothman here, blogging as i always do in point pleasant, west virginia
[it me!]
i think it's about time i do an intro post to this blog. I mostly post MCYT stuff, but X-Files, Scott Pilgrim, cryptozoology, Star Wars, TMA, Supernatural and niche, nerdy stuff can be found here. You can call me moth or mothman, and i use they/them pronouns :]
my letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/Fish_Sauce/
my art account: @artuallymothman
my bandom account: @actuallymerseyside
(and down here imma leave some tags so that i can orient myself on my own blog)
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when i see baseball tees or coke cans or bruce springsteen comes on i stop and get misty eyed for a moment before steeling my resolve. it's okay. i'm going to be okay
And friends who wont betray and abandon you because they like someone else who hates you... or because you were making some mistake that they held a secret grudge over instead of communicating....
atla just so happened to write one of the most insane and complex brother sister relationships in all of television, and yet for some reason everyone focused on zuko and azula instead, even though they are basically just normal siblings, and as such not even that interesting ..
katara and sokka are what happens when you are your brotherβs mother and your brother also tries to be your father. you love them, you hate them, youβre half of them, you canβt stand them, you look after them, they keep you safe.
azula and zuko are both just gifted kid burnouts with a dad that only loves the winner.
#yeah when they're not trying to kill each other azula and Zuko are p normal. #katara and sokka on the other hand spent the majority of their childhood trying to raise each other #and were also the ONLY kids in their age group that they ever interacted with. #they are so. they're so. #''i don't remember what my mom looks like I just picture katara'' WHEN HE HAS HIS MOTHER'S FACE. kills me. (@professorsparklepants)
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I find it so sad when people present the history of hermitcraft as "generikb left so xisuma took over as admin and leader". like noooooo you're doing such a disservice to the chaotic group project that is hermitcraft. xisuma took on responsibility for the physical server hosting, yes, but Joe Hills broke the decision stalemate (via coup) and Hypno took the website and Cleo arrived to join the council (of people who actually go to meetings and do admin) and welsknight stood up to rap battle anyone necessary and tango came on as tech support and keralis came on as hardware sugardaddy (where's beef's new mouse?) and there's more and more and more. there's no leader of hermitcraft (Joe stood down immediately after the coup) and everyone has a veto. a lone leader would have fallen by now, it's the work of every hermit that makes the server strong
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the thing about the dream smp is i dont think it actually matters at all if it was good or bad. what matters is that it was a completely unparalleled media experience and because of its specific circumstances gave me shrimp emotions that absolutely cannot be replicated
The Haunting of Hill House (Show) vs The Magnus Archives
Finally started listening to the Magnus Archives this summer, so of course I wanted to see if I could combine its lore with my other favourite horror production of recent times.
The Crain Sibs as Avatars
Steven Crain- the Eye
Places a lot of emphasis on visual evidence when conducting his paranormal investigations
"I've never seen a ghost" Has actually seen several, along with many other fucked up things his siblings did not, such as the warning signs of Olivia spiralling.
Placed in the role of protector of the younger four from childhood, expected to watch over them and keep an eye on them, a duty that never goes away
Come on, you can't tell me that if this guy met Jonathan, especially in the first season, they wouldn't get along.
Shirley Crain-Harris- the Corruption
Bugs feature most prominently in her episode, which features an actual wasp nest
Her kittens all end up being diseased, in effect corrupted before they have a chance
Her literal job is to paint over dead bodies so they're more palatable to look at, while fully knowing the rot beneath, which she is paid to conceal, but can't escape from herself
Theodora Crain- the Eye
Technically has touch-based powers, not sight-based, but her powers come with an immense burden of secret knowledge, Knowing things she shouldn't know
Can't shake hands with someone without getting a front row seat to the worst things they've ever done
Literally Saw her mother as a dead body long before it actually happened, and was terrified by it
Luke Crain- the Lonely
Everyone, the viewer included, thinks his childhood best friend is imaginary.
He's often seen playing alone in the flashbacks, and faces his encounter with William Hill's ghost entirely alone as well
His one friend as an adult ends up betraying him and leaving him alone- making genuine, non-familial connections seems to be an ongoing struggle.
Nell Crain-Vance- the End
Was literally haunted by her own death for twenty-six years and didn't know until it was too late
Her adult self doesn't appear in the second half of the show, except as a ghost
Is tricked into walking- or falling- into her own death by the promise of reuniting with those she's already lost- death is a constant presence for her.
Bonus: Olivia Crain- the Spiral
The more time she spends in Hill House, the more she loses her grip on reality
She's effectively lured into this by Poppy, similar to how Michael and Helen were
Ends up bound to the house, a twisted corruption of her best qualities, no longer able to really know what's best for her family
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season 5 au where ted wheeler is killed from the demogorgon attack and mike is so preoccupied with stopping vecna that he doesn't have the bandwidth to process that information until afterwards, when he tries to mourn, and does feel grief, but also...doesn't quite feel it like he thought he would. and hates himself for that.
because when the dust settles and the funeral is over and nancy has left for college and it's just mike and holly and his mom at home, he realizes: it isn't the loss he expected it to be. mom isn't too broken up about it, that's for sure. she drinks less and laughs more. yeah, she's stressed about getting a job now that there's no breadwinner in the family, and being a single mother is hard, but she has people to lean on, and she would never admit it, but mike can tell that whatever brought her and dad together in the first place had not been holding them together for a long time.
holly is sad, but dad got more dismissive of her the more she developed a real personality, so more than anything she seems to be missing a memory of him. nancy doesn't really want to talk about it; she never really saw eye to eye with dad. and for that matter, neither did mike - mike was too weird, recalcitrant, irreverent, and dad didn't love the whole hellfire thing, even before the eddie munson witch hunt - but. he thought he'd be upset. he thinks he should miss his dad. a boy should miss his father.
but he doesn't. in fact, some days he barely remembers dad is dead, and the guilt of that eats mike alive. even worse is the fact that nobody would understand, that all of his friends would look at him differently after, like they only just realized how much of a terrible person mike is, because what kind of person doesn't mourn their own father? what kind of person starts to wonder if maybe their dad was more of a shadow cast over their life than a light? what kind of monster is mike?
his friends ask how he's doing, and mike has to say half-truths like "it's hard, but we're coping" and "it's just really weird without him" and nobody really notices the way he talks around the truth...
except max.
max, who comes to him and quietly says, "it's okay, you know. if you don't miss him. no offense to your dad, and sorry if this is over the line, but...he wasn't that great, was he?"
mike has no idea how to respond to that.
"i know, it's complicated," max goes on, not making eye contact. "it's supposed to be easy, like, if someone in your family dies, you miss them. no matter how they were when they were alive. but it's not always that simple." she shrugs. "what i'm trying to say is that if you wanted to talk about it, i wouldn't judge you. i know what it's like, and...i also know that not talking about it is a good way to get cursed by an evil wizard. so...yeah. just wanted to tell you that."
she goes to leave, to give him the space to sit with that idea, but only gets as far as turning around before mike blurts out: "we never did anything together. we barely talked. i don't- i don't think i ever knew what he did for work. he didn't know anything about me and i didn't know anything about him and it's like, like he was my dad, but..."
"but you were strangers," max finishes.
mike can't look at her, but he nods and says, "how can i miss a stranger?"
max doesn't have an answer for him. but she also doesn't judge him.
"when billy died, i felt...awful," she admits. "but it wasn't because i missed him. it was because i didn't. i convinced myself that if i had just done something that night, if i had found some way to save him, then he would see that i wasn't just his shitty step-sister and he would stop being such an asshole and we would be...i don't know. like a real family. but that was bullshit. i know that now. and i can't change the past. billy was who he was. i'll never know if he could have changed. but the billy i knew, the billy i lost...i don't owe it to him to miss him.
"i know it's not exactly the same," she adds. "but my point is, you don't owe him more than what he gave you."
"he's my dad," mike says helplessly.
"and?" max counters. "did he love you? did he even like you? did he accept you for who you are?"
accept. a terrifying word. an active verb, not the disapproving surrender that had been dad's overarching response to mike's constant defiance of norms. no, dad hadn't accepted mike, because dad had always been normal. and mike could never be normal. and if dad had tried to impart one lesson to mike, it was that anything outside of normal was dangerous.
"look, i don't have all the answers," max says bluntly. "i just don't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. so i'm telling you, it's okay. not to miss him. it's okay if you're fine. it doesn't make you a monster. okay?"
"okay," mike says. because max doesn't even like him that much, so if she's willing to absolve him of evil, then maybe she knows something mike doesn't.
and for the first time since dad died, mike unburdens himself from the responsibility of grief. he hadn't realized just how heavy it had become, trying to mourn the idea of a father without actually missing the man who died.
"okay," says max. "good talk," says max. "well...bye," says max, and turns to go.
