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I came across this today.

This year feels like a big year.  I know that all years matter but I have really been deep in thought about the next steps for my life.  I have had great times and heartbreaking times.  The lifelong relationship I was in did not turn out to be much at all.  I am putting thought into the milestones that I still want to experience.  Having a creative outlet in my life has definitely brought me joy.  I have a few high dollar items on my wish list that I am putting a great deal of thought into but I am holding off on all big purchases until I finish a project and complete my life list.  I am less than a month away from some big days.

Last year I started a course with DailyOM (DailyOM.com) A Year to Simplify Your Life.  I did not complete the course and this year rather than keeping up where I left off, I decided to start from week 1.  My first attempts really seemed more task oriented and I could feel that there were so much more to creating this life.  I will take the time to really make this journey a part of my daily life.

I am a fan of Simple Abundance and the DailyOm for their weekly or daily readings.  Even though life events got in my way previously, I am looking forward to simplifying and accomplishing this year.  I have several spaces in my home that would be suitable for setting up as my anchoring altar with the exception being that my pet is not restricted from any space in our home.  I have an old antique desk in my bedroom which is really an ideal space.  It has three drawers (one for spiritual readings, one for poetry and creative readings, and one for supplies such as pencils and notepads).  I have a nice lamp, artwork, and my readings on top of the desk.  I plan to add a candle that a friend gifted me.  I want to use it yet save its beautiful form but I will definitely start to use it.

My furry buddy has helped me get through a lot of ups and downs.  He has been with me through so many significant life events, geographical moves, job changes, and adventures.  He is now 12 1/2 and I dread the time when age will slow him down.  We are at the stage where I need to buy some steps for him to get on the bed.  He is pretty stubborn and independent and he has too be super tired before he is accepting of me carrying him to bed.  

I used to always have some form of carbonated wine on hand.  Gruet and Imperial Kir have been among my favorites and supporting local industries makes me feel better about the luxury.  Yesterday, after a record breaking evening where I stayed up through to midnight without an afternoon nap, I enjoyed some Gruet as I read Simple Abundance and journaled.  Over 10 years ago, I had my first major surgery.  Upon waking I had this enormous sense of gratitude to be alive.  I would not have thought that I would be able to experience an even greater level of gratitude.  Other life experiences have made that gratitude more complicated and at times, riddled with guilt.

So Sorry for Your Loss.

There really is never a good time to lose a loved one.  There is never a good time to loose the father who raised you.  Knowing that you would not have wished him to continue to experience the pain of a cancer caused by his service to this country was not a comfort but it was a small bit of logic in an otherwise downward spiral of emotion.  This was not the first tragic death in our family but it was a defining experience in my life.  

My father was a soldier, retired after over 20 years in the armed forces, but his love of country was something that defined him.  His other love was my mother.  He was a child at heart.  I think of how he was so quick to jump into so many areas of life which was not something that I inherited from him.  And at this time with so many ups and downs in my life, I am committing to be more bold.