*Live~Laugh~Lobotomy*

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

one of my favorite hobbies is not being a parent

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

september was practice… in october I’m getting my shit together

in november I'm getting my shit together

in december I’m getting my shit together

in february I’m getting my shit together

in march I’m getting my shit together

in april I’m getting my shit together

in may I’m getting my shit together

in june I’m getting my shit together

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday