a lot going on

Oneshot:

Stress Relief⭐👀🔥

Synopsis: Working for the Night Court has become near impossible with Azriel determined to drive you out the door but can a camping trip arranged by Rhys smooth things over.

Papertrail ⭐🥰

Synopsis: For months Azriel had gotten to know you through the intelligence letters you penned from the Autumn Court but finally meeting reveals your twisted reality.

BatBite ⭐

Synopsis: Azriel relies on liquid courage to finally act on his feelings for you but the next day, only one of you remembers and its the one marked with lovebites

Pancake ⭐🥰

Synopsis: Celebrating Feyre's 21st with a large party at the House of Wind proves to be quite triggering for you as you battle with the demons that followed you out of Under the Mountain.

High Lord of Game 👀 

Synopsis: Cassian and Azriel use a simple competition to decide who deserves the title of High Lord of Game, but at what cost to you?

Lessons in Herbology ⭐🔥👀 

Synopsis: You and Azriel are frequently at odds with one another but when Azriel accidently destroys your life's work, the illyrian will do anything to make it up to you.

Storm Chaser 👀 🥰

Synopsis: You and Azriel go your separate ways after a vicious fight leaves Azriels jealousy calling the shots but can the ever brave Illyrian brave a storm without you

Jilted👀

Synopsis: The morning of your wedding your fears are enforced by an old way of thought, sending you running and Azriel to cope with the aftermath but will a reunion set you both back on the path you should both be living?

The Silent Treatment⭐👀

Synopsis: Your past affair sends Azriel into brooding, with Elain being led to believe that the end of the relationship she hated so much had finally happened.

Songbird🥰

Synopsis: Azriel takes to the stage, slightly more than drunk and definitely slightly more than ready to tell the world how he feels about you.

Little Drop Of Starlight 🥰

Synopsis: A story of Azriel and you raising your daughter through the years, Azriels little drop of starlight.

Healing Hands 👀🥰⭐

Synopsis: A new suitor in your life interrupts your friendship with your three best friends at Windhaven. The budding healer in you finds yourself breaking more hearts than healing.

Honey👀🥰

Synopsis: Azriel frequents the hotel in Hewn City that you manage with his many lovers, a source of your constant teasing until Azriel can't replace the way he feels about you with anyone else.

Storybook👀🥰

Synopsis: Azriel's insecurities of not being good enough for the glowing Dawn emissary that had enveloped his world can't be silenced and erupt at Cassian's birthday party. But can he find his way again into the storybook life he believes you deserve?

Tease 👀

Synopsis: Friends with benefits is quickly running its course between you and Azriel with Mor's birthday party being the perfect setting to see which of you will cave first.

Flower 👀🥰💥⭐

Synopsis: You and Azriel are sent deep into the mountains in search of a flower that may save Feyre's life during childbirth but quickly the frenemy status is put to the test as past trials come to a head leaving you to decide between your new sister and the potential love of your life.

Tell me, Party Girl 👀🥰

Synopsis: Your former party girl title rears it's head again as you try to escape the reality of The House of Winds newest resident, Nesta. Very quickly tension bubbles over between you and the night courts current 365 party girl, leaving Azriel to do what he does best.

Series:

 Shadow and Flame 🔥💥👀🥰 ✅

Synopsis: Azriel is growing tired of feeling wronged by the Mother for not allowing Elain to be his mate until he meets a true stranger for the first time, you. Through a series of unfortunate events and ties to Lucien and Autumn, will the Mother keep the winds of fate blowing against Azriel?

Say My Name 👀💥and Part 2 👀💥🔥 ✅

After being separated from his brothers by the High Lord of Night, Azriel becomes accustomed to the new chain of command in his life, led

by you. But with the Mortal Realm war beginning to rage, will your relationship move beyond professional

Other Worlds ⭐🥰and Part 2⭐🥰👀 ✅

Nesta accidentally pulls you from our realm into theirs and a certain Spymaster can't help but be enamoured.

Timing👀 Part Two 🔥💥👀🥰 ✅

Synopsis: Timing works against you and Azriel as a series of unfortunate events lands the two of you alone for the night with a broken down car and a breaking down friendship

Mirror 👀💥Part Two👀💥🥰✅

Synopsis: You were gifted with the ability to mirror other fae's magic with a simple touch and your free spirit nature leads you to cross very close to the borders of a hidden city, where your future best friends and soulmate snatch you out of the sky to protect their border.

Silence in the Shadows 🔥💥👀🥰and Part Two 💥👀

Synopsis: Hewn City has been hit by a fresh crime wave, stumping the inner circle as they search for a solution. Azriel meets you in a crowded bar while trying to escape the stresses that the City was supplying him. But after a spur of the moment night together, Azriel is left wondering if the girl he spent the night with is truly all what she seems?

Moonlight Swim 🥰

Synopsis: Cassian has his heartbroken at the end of Illyrian training party he attended. Lovelorn and in need of a miracle, you cross his path to set his night on a course of centuries-long pining.

The Stray and The Snakes 🥰👀⭐

Synopsis: You're adjustment to the Night Court after meeting your Mate is made all the more difficult due to the unwelcoming nature of two particular sisters.

The Art of You 🥰

Synopsis: Cassian found recovery in the art that he created while preparing to apply to art school in New York, his greatest muse being his high-flying down-to-earth socialite girlfriend, you.

Swept Away 👀💥

Synopsis: Cassian is growing desperate to make his feelings about you known but Rhysand is ever protective of his little sister.

Hounded 👀🥰

Synopsis: Eris loves his dogs more than any other living thing and they love him but soon his eldest hound has found a new interest, you and your endless supply of bread rolls. An unlikely friendship begins to form between the Son of Autumn and one of Springs last border guards, Craos is just hoping to create some sort of parent trap situation.

Vicious little thing 👀🥰💥

Synopsis: Dressmaker for the Inner Circle was the dream job turn mundane nightmare, all in Court you could never quite warm to. A chance encounter with the infamous son of Autumn leaves you wondering if there's more to life than what it seams (get it lol cause seams not seems)

To the Library

-

The following two weeks were a blur of thick flannel sheets and swirling pools of endless herbal tea. Finally, you were starting to feel your energy return, the strength in your dominant hand, however feeling weaker than ever. Lucien kept you locked up deep in the deserted west wing for your own good, begging and pleading with you to stay and recover. 

“I'll be back in an hour or so, Thimble” the Prince of Foxes slung his heavy jacket across his shoulders, the snow starting to pour from the sky. You kept your eyes focused on the edge of the unlit fireplace in the lounge, sinking deeper into the plaid blanket.

“YN, let me light the fire for you, please, it's freezing”

“No” you said softly, your new favourite word since being taken from Eris. The thought of being around the element without its master was one you couldn't bear. Lucien sighed from the door frame

“Just stay in the West wing. I have to meet Tamlin, but I'll be back soon, Thimble" he practically whispered before slinking off into the snow. 

You spent the next hour or so staring at the ashes in the fireplace. Your hand ran over the conjured stitch of the blanket covering your legs. You examined the stitching further before looking down at the conjured frock Lucien had procured for you, all of it foreign feeling.

A subtle gust blew down the chimney, shifting one of the ashes out of its home and onto the cold slate. Someone had arrived at Moonstone Palace. You gathered a blanket around your shoulders, instinct telling you to leave your coop. 

“Okay, so once Nesta finds the shoes she simply must wear, we’ll go, and we all know the plan” You heard your friends…employers…whatever all agree with the High Lord of the Night Court, his back to you as he addressed the group in the living room, Lucien absent. You stood in the doorway, looking at the Inner Circle in their conjured finery, looks of divilment on their faces. 

“And Rhys what about-YN?”

“YN? She's not to be a part of this agreement, she-” Feyre caught her mate's forearm, turning him on the ball of his feet to face you. The colour of their faces matched the snowy mountains, as if they saw a ghost. You scanned each of them, Azriel looking especially ghostly before he averted his eyes.

“Why are you here?” The first words you'd heard from Nesta in an age, and that's what she asks, not how are you? What happened to your arm? Nothing.

“I-”

“-How? How did you get here?” Rhysand practically ate the floorboards between the two of you, closing the gap in a few steps to stare down at you in disbelief. He went to place a soft hand on your shoulder, and then, seemingly remembering himself, it found its home back at his side. You took a quick glance over the High Lord's shoulder, glancing at Azriels, who gave you the briefest of subtle head shakes. 

“I-I don't remember” You dipped your head in servitude, and despite years of practised action of the sort, it felt foreign. 

“And yet, I don't believe you” Rhysand stepped closer, seemingly peering into your soul with his beautiful, piercing eyes.

“We must go Rhys” Azriel quickly met his side, breaking Rhysand's scrutiny. Was he in your mind? Would you even know if he had been? Did he see what happened? 

“What happened to your hand?” Elain pushed past her brother-in-law, delicately floating her hands above your mangled digits, as if her touch would shatter them. 

“I-umm I don't-they crush-crushed it” The sentence practically died in your throat, your gaze dropping down to your plum coloured palm before you tucked it into your chest. 

“Can you still sew?” The question cut through stunned silence, the room looking to Mor, who held the frayed edge of her dreamy cherry red sleeve, the bottom of the dress matching the start of the fraying sleeve. 

“Yes, our new dressmaker hasn't a hope, she's probably a year or so qualified” Nesta chimed in with a laugh, gesturing to the loose button on her hip pocket. New dressmaker? You hadn't even been gone a month, and they already replaced you. You couldn't lie to yourself; you felt betrayed. 

“Well, I'm sure Madja can take a look, have you back to work by tomorrow evening” Feyre smiled before turning back to her mate.

“She's visiting her sister below, but I'm sure she'll make time to see you. She knows how your replacement can't quite match your skill. Azriel, take her with Cass to see Madja and meet us after” Rhysand clasped his hands together as Cassian began to walk towards you. Of course, she couldn't reach your skill level; you had centuries of training, and yet they thought someone with only a year could come close to you. Azriel looped an arm around you, as he had done a couple of weeks ago, causing a chill to rake across your bones. 

Before you could object, the bright white ceiling of Moonstone Palace was replaced by mile-long stalactites looming above. You stood at the bottom of the stoop of Madja's sister's house. You wanted to sink further beneath the soil. The last time you were in this region of the Court, Eris had rescued you from those slobs. Cassian knocked on the wooden door as Azriel avoided your eyes alongside you at the bottom of the stoop. 

“I never got a chance to thank yo-”

“Don't. Don't finish that sentence. We came too late, we should have been earlier, I should have listened to Lucien sooner” he looked briefly at you before returning it to Cassian's back as he waited to be invited in by the small fae who answered. 

“They didn't want to rescue me, did they?”

Azriel hesitated before replying, rocking gently from foot to foot before releasing his bitten tongue, “We…they didn't see your value like Lucien, too high stakes…low reward, they said” It seemed to pain him to admit. A truth you always believed was finally verbalised to you from the horse's mouth. 

“If Madja can't fix my hand, then what happens to me, Az?” You didn't take your eyes from his profile, refusing to let yourself feel meek in the truth. 

“I don't know YN” The sound of soft shoes on stone steps shook you from his words, Madja rushing down the steps to your side. You felt the tears behind your eyes, and still they stayed, unable to be freed from their perpetual state of stuck, no tears left to cry for your situation. She gingerly took your hand as you reluctantly gave it to her, afraid to meet her storming eyes, before she led you softly up to her sister's home. 

The humble home smelled of Madja and magic, the two impossibly intertwined. She took a close inspection of your hand, her sister hovering over her shoulder offering ideas for remedies as you sank your eyes into the side of Azriel's face. He sat across from you on the caramel coloured couch, laughing at Cassian's story as if this was the average everyday. You realised it probably was for them, once. Near-fatal wounds and career-ending possibilities. But you were not a warrior, you weren’t made for this world, weren’t made to fight, to be ruthless and vicious and capable of terrible things. You just wanted to sew, be safe and whole and warm, the realisation that the latter three could no longer be possible without Eris in your world, a hard truth you decided not to dwell on on the couch in a stranger's house. 

Madja worked tirelessly, coaxing the flesh on your bones, plying the skin with thick salves while willing your bones into misaligned alignment. The whole time you sat in silence, staring at the small flame in the dusty fireplace, its torturous twisting was no place for you to take comfort in. 

“Well, she said she’ll try again once we’re back home” Azriel offered optimistically as the three of you left the house. Your bones felt more solid beneath your flesh, the wounds aptly coated in healing creams, but still, your tendons felt torn from their home, and very little strength returned. 

“Give it time, YN” Cassian placed a gentle hand on your shoulder before turning to his brother. “We are incredibly late, Az. We have to go straight there, we’ll just bring YN, can she hang out with the other staff?” Azriel weighed up Cassian's words before taking your good hand in his. You didn’t bother asking where he was going to winnow you; you didn’t have a choice in the matter.

The sky of blush and navy lit up the world around you as the three of you skyrocketed into the Dawn Court. You had never been here before, its beauty only coming second to the Autumn Court. The Illyrians rushed you up the steps of the palace, ignoring wandering stares from guards. Trailing behind the two only allowed quick glimpses of the beautiful cobalt sky inked with rose until soon the sky above you was replaced with soft coloured marble as you entered the large meeting room. Cassian took his seat at the table, Azriel gesturing for you to line the wall with the other Court staff as the other Solar Courts chatted lightly about various topics. 

Azriel whispered brief updates to Rhysand, whose eyes briefly grazed your hand before you could tuck it beneath the loose fabric of your cotton dress. Rhysand’s attention was snapped away again as the Seasonal Courts entered, Tamlin absent as ever. But you hardly noticed that as the growing bile coursed up your throat at the sight of the swaggering Lord of Autumn. You pushed further into the wall, your fellow servants throwing sidelong glances as Thesan greeted his guests.

Beron scanned the room, his eyes snagging on you for a moment, one eye squinting slightly as if to examine you more carefully, only to have him seemingly blink you away again. Relief rested over you, and then suddenly and unexpectedly bitter shock. Didn’t he recognise you? He didn’t give what he did to you a second thought, assumed you were dead or didn’t care either way. It made you quietly rattle with rage against the cool marble wall, centuries of training keeping you from storming out of the room. 

The meeting began with discussions of what to do regarding the threat of the human-queens, how to navigate the ruins of Hybern and the potential takeover of the land. The meeting was getting to a boiling point, resulting in Thesan ringing a small bell, triggering an almost choreographed dance from the servants on either side of you. They swung into animation, presenting a feast to the table with schooled excellence, leaving you alone against the wall like a bold school child. 

“Isn’t she lovely?” Beron's voice took your attention as he gestured to you with his goblet, Azriel shifting almost undetectably in his chair. “Who do you belong to, maiden? Too good to serve?” the High Lord added. He really had no clue who you were or what he did to you. 

“She is mine, she will serve no other”, Rhysand replied, the words all wrong to your ears. Cassian coughed gently to shake you from your fog. You picked up a stray tray, shakingly bringing it to your High Lord. You used your strong hand to fill his wine glass, splashing over the rim of his glass, and you could practically feel Nesta swallow her laugh from across the table. Your weakened hand could hardly hold the weight of the tray; it slipped from you to clatter and roll beneath the table. Rhysand looked at you with quiet warning as Beron laughed. 

“I’m not a fucking waiter”, You whispered while squatting to the floor, Rhysand looking to Feyre in surprise at your outburst, choosing to ignore it. You crawled beneath the table, following the rolling tray as it skirted up the length of the table to escape out the other end. The stone pulled up your dress as you crawled one-handed to peek back out from beneath the tablecloth, eyes fixed on the gleaming tray as it whirled in tiny circles before a heavy boot clattered it back to the stone. You reached for the silverware as the boot crushed it down, your eyes drifting up through your lashes as you locked eyes with the horrified son of Autumn. If you hadn’t already been on the floor, you were sure you would have fainted onto it. The colour was gone entirely from Eris’s face as his pupils rapidly scanned yours back and forth until they dropped down to your hand as it clung to your chest again. 

“Son! Right on time for wine!” Beron boomed, Eris still unable to take his eyes from you as he lifted his boot from the silver. You reluctantly took it, standing up somewhat shakingly, and you noticed Eris go to reach out to help, stopping himself almost as quickly. The temperature in the room began to rise noticeably, air beginning to huff through Eris’s nostrils, the rings of amber in his irises going molten. You back away without taking your eyes off those pools of lava, the rest of the room beginning to quieten and focus on the two of you. 

“Whoops” Azriel smacked his hand down theatrically on the table, knocking over a towering vase of flowers, attention being drawn back to the clatter as staff began to swarm to clean the mess, and yet still Eris couldn’t take his eyes from you. You felt self-conscious of your tatty dress, of your dishevelled hair from your trip under the table, and of your claw-like hand clinging to your chest. Eris’s eyes dropped to your hand once more, the room temperature rising again, and he took one half step in your direction before he felt Cassian's arm loop around his shoulder. 

“Sit, drink, be merry!” Cassian rushed out, Beron’s eyebrow raising at the somewhat air of familiarity between the two warriors. Eris, seemingly remembering his audience, shrugged off the General, pulling his attention back to the table. 

“Don’t fucking touch me” he bit out, striding over with such heavy steps you feared it may crack the marble. Thesan cleared his throat before speaking again, “Well, now your Court is fully represented, Beron, I feel it's time to ask that we may work together on something.”

“Oh?” Beron locked eyes with the Dawn High Lord, a smirk forming. Eris kept his eyes on your hands, the scrutiny causing you to attempt to shield them further. You didn’t want him to lose his temper in this particular room, with the guards of every court on high alert, waiting for a reason to spring into action. 

“Well, you see, I require a great deal of fire, true, unbridled, untamed fire. I have the drawings of a great weapon, one I think will help us with our little queen problem; however, it requires melding and infusion of magic in every metal millimetre of it” Thesan’s smile darkened, the room hanging on his every word. Beron sat back further into his chair, taking a deep sip of his wine and savouring making the room wait for his reply. 

“And where would such a wondrous weapon be kept?” 

“Here, of course” Thesan replied with a scoff, raising his arms out to the side to gesture to the fine home causing a laugh from Beron. 

“So I am to lease out my son's magic to you for a weapon I do not get to keep in my own home?” The mention of him finally broke Eris’s inspection. 

“My magic?” 

“Well, son, I’m hardly going to risk draining myself” Cruel laughter left Beron “You have nothing we want, Thesan, nothing of use” An argument began between the two High Lords, others chiming in occasionally. 

A banging door sounded in the background, the sound not separating the argument. Lucien rushed in like a bat out of hell, huffing air into his lungs as if he ran from Moonstone Palace on foot. He ignored the now silent room as he strode toward you. 

“There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you! What happened to staying in your room?” He bit quietly, unusually harsh with you, his arm grabbing your wrist, seemingly forgetting himself, causing you to flinch under the pressure. Seeing your discomfort, he immediately released the pressure he applied, Eris already on his feet at the table. Azriel reached subtly from next to Eris, taking the corner of his jacket and tugging him back to his seat, Beron looking confused between his two sons. 

“Take her back to the house, Azriel” Rhysand used his best scary High Lord tone, knowing the potential repercussions that could arise from Lucien coming here. 

Before you could register the words, the Night sky inked across your world. You bent at the waist, attempting to catch your breath as Azriel and Lucien stormed into the House of Wind. 

“Are you a fucking idiot!? Rhysand is going to kill us now that he knows we got her!” Lucien barked, and Azriel immediately poured himself a vat of liquor. Before he could reply, the remaining Inner Circle flashed into the room. You regained your composure, following the two males into the study. 

“I could kill the two of you!” Rhysand bellowed, snatching the drink from Azriel to down the lot of it “I told you! Explicitly! Do not risk yourself just for her! Do not go and risk an already fragile Court relationship for someone replaceable, you two are not replaceable to me!” You wished the ground would swallow you whole; you didn’t want to be hearing this, hearing your deepest insecurity put on blast in front of the whole House. 

“She is not replaceable to me! She is my friend!” Lucien heated the room, closing the distance between himself and the High Lord, Feyre’s hackles starting to rise. 

“Look, everyone, calm the fuck down. It's done. YN is back, Madja will fix her, and she’ll be as good as new and back to dressmaking” Cassian tried his best to soften the sharpness of the air in the room, but it only made you feel smaller. 

You couldn’t listen to this anymore, them debating your worthiness, you took off running. Tearing through the House, you flew down the stone steps, sinking further and further into the stomach of the House until you reached your room. You swung the door from its hinges only to practically skid on the carpet of your workroom, your cave of fabric practically empty. 

“Em hello?” The small voice of a younger fae came behind you. Slowly, you turned to see her. Oh yeah, they replaced you. How could you forget? 

“Oh, sorry I-I, where is all of my fabric?” It felt trivial, but somehow, the only words you found coming out of your mouth. 

“Oh, I dumped it, it was very dated? I mean, who keeps that much? I just conjure the fabric when I need it…sorry, who are you?” You didn’t answer her, found yourself running away again, unsure of where your feet were taking you. You made your way back up into the main House, tears threatening like the lump in your throat. Mist grew across your irises, causing you to miss the lump in the carpet. It snagged on your shoes, sending you tumbling along the floor. Instinctively, you put your dominant hand out to break your fall, almost instantaneously regretting the action, too late to recoil. All the air rushed from your lungs as you practically shrieked the paint from the walls. The bones of your weakened wrist joint crumbled on contact with the stone. 

“Motherfucker!” You howled, resting back on your calves, clutching your oddly angled wrist into your chest, an action that was quickly becoming as familiar as breathing. 

“Language YN” Your misted eyes landed on Eris’s, his shoulder leaning into the doorframe of one of the many entries as if he owned the place. 

“E-Eris?” You blinked the tears away as Eris practically ran to you, swooping and scooping you up from the floor, his warm callous hands heating your sides through your shirt as he spun you around in his arms. You buried your face into the side of his neck, the pain from your dangling limb long forgotten. 

“You were right, Eris, I’m their employee, not their friend. They didn’t care what happened to me” You sobbed into his shoulder, the weight of a thousand worlds lifting from your shoulders as he swaddled you in the heat you had been craving to bask in again. 

“They don’t deserve you, YN. No one does,” He whispered into your hair as you shook your head in gentle disagreement. “I’m sorry I ended it with you the way I did the night before they-they took you” he added as you pulled back to take in his sunken eyes and pale face, sleeping clearly having evaded the Heir to the Autumn Court. 

“I’m sorry, Eris, I should have let you take me home, should have listened”

“Normally I love those words” he smirked, fighting back his own tears “-but never ever apologise to me for that night, I should have done more to protect you, I should have followed you” he dipped his head in shame, triggering you to lift your misshapen hand to his cheek, lifting his face back to the light. He placed a warm palm over yours, pulling back slightly to inspect the limb, his stony expression returning. 

“You have that look again, like you’re going to run and slaughter” You laughed lightly, the sound causing freckles of light to return to his eyes. 

“I’d burn the world down for you. I know if I tried to push you away, you’d leave claw marks on my soul” He dipped his forehead to rest on yours “You protected me YN. I never asked you to, never expected anyone to, and you did” 

“You will never have to ask me to protect you, Eris. I would do so again and for the rest of my life” He ran a thumb over your dominant hand, watched you tense slightly at the action, only to have his healing heat ease the pain again. 

“And will you let me protect you?” 

“If it means never seeing you again, then no, I hope you’re ready for claw marks” You laughed again, and he smiled, brushing his nose against yours. 

“Kinky” The two of you turned quickly to see Lucien smirking, his arms across his chest. Eris stood in front of you, stalking close to his brother and using the 1 inch of extra height he had on his brother to look down at him. 

“We should get you a bell brother. Prince of Foxes? Seems Prince of basset hounds would suit you better” “The only little bitch in here is yo-” “Okay, that's enough” You stood between the two brothers, tension contorting their faces as they both tried to stare the other down. 

“You’re mistaken, YN. That’s how Lucien says he's happy to see me alive” Eris clapped a palm on his brother's shoulder as you moved back to his side. Lucien smiled gently, his eyebrow then raising slightly as he saw his brother wince subtly as he pulled back his arm. 

“Father, give you the special”, Eris replied with a tight nod, Lucien's face sinking. 

“What does that mean?”

“Don't concern yourself” Eris gave an encouraging smile before Lucien tore his gaze from his brother's shoulder, not able to watch him lie to you. 

“Speaking of concern, this weapon, do you think Father can be convinced to make it?” Lucien attempted to change the subject, your eyes still looking worriedly into Eris’. 

“He won't unless it's kept in Autumn, and no one wants that”

“Damn right” the three of you turned to Rhysand as he strided the length of the hall. You noticed Eris move almost undetectably to shield you from your High Lord, the movement surprising you. Why the sudden shielding?

“This doesn't concern you Rhysand”

“Any conversation in my halls concerns me, especially with my staff” Eris jaw locked at Rhysand's smug tone before you slipped your hand gently into his. You went to dip your head in greeting to your High Lord, your leg about to slip behind the other to curtsy. Eris’s hand whipped out softly, his hand gently meeting the underside of your chin to keep you from sinking. 

“Never again will you bow to anyone” His piercing eyes flamed through yours, his serious tone coating your skin, leaving you to only reply with a gentle nod. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but why are you in my court, Eris? We don't have a scheduled meeting”

“You lost the privilege of scheduling when I saw my YN crawling along the floor. You're a damn fool bringing her anywhere near my Father,” Eris chewed out, returning his full attention to Rhysand, leaving his hand in yours. 

“It was very risky, Rhys” Lucien agreed, feeling very much in the middle. 

“And while we're on risky, what the fuck were you thinking bringing her to my court to begin with?” Eris boomed, the temperature in the hallway rising. Rhysand scoffed at the radiating heat, squaring off his body. 

“Need I remind you she is my staff, belonging to my court and is effectively mine. She goes where I tell her” you heard Lucien half whisper something along the lines of “here we go” after Rhysand chewed out his words. Eris released your hand, closing the space between himself and Rhysand where he towered over the Illyrian slightly. 

“She belongs to no one-” ice dripped from the Prince of flames, unblinking, unshaken and truly and utterly unrelenting” -and especially. Not. Fucking. You.” 

“I don't remember you there to sign her last cheque, or do you pay your females in cash?” Rhysand's crassness shocked you, but not as much as Eris's hand meeting the High Lord's jaw. The sudden movement surprised the northern-most High Lord, the weight behind Eris’ punch sending him almost to the floor. No sooner than Eris’ had drawn back his fist in recoil, Feyre flashed into the scene, anger wrapping around her like a blanket. Instinct took over your feet as you jumped in front of Eris before she could land any of her own power on him. Eris just punched your High Lord for the mere insinuation of an insult. 

“Move YN” she bit out, Rhysand righting himself again. 

“N-no, you're not going to touch him” you rattled out, Azriel now arriving at the scene.

“I'm not going to hurt you YN. Move”

“Haven't you hurt her enough?” Eris chewed back to Feyre, moving to your side, glancing at your still mangled hand. 

“Your family did that, and by extension, you” Rhysand, you decided, had a death wish. You waited for Eris to explode again alongside you, but it never came. Rhysand's blow had its desired effect on the heir to the Autumn as the mask almost undetectably slipped. 

“Well then, you could say I did this too” Lucien's voice surprised the group, Eris’ eyes softening at his brother's rare defence of him. 

“They're right, brother, I did this, and I will fix this” Eris cut across the Night Court before they could protest at Lucien.

“No one did anything to me other than Beron, no one” you exclaimed as Eris stepped away from you and back from the group, flushing you with the freezing cold only the Night Court could give you. 

“Do not enter this Court without a scheduled appointment again, Eris or I'll do worse than anything your father ever could” Rhysand boomed as Eris turned back to face the group.

“I'll fix this YN, I'll fix this, I did this, and I'll fix it” his solemn promise was the last thing you heard from him before he sank into a whirl of flame and out of the hall. 

“Eris!” You cried but too late, throwing yourself down on the spot he had previously occupied, Lucien quickly placed a soft hand on your shoulder. The Prince of Foxes gave a scathing look to the Night Court before he winnowed you both away and into Moonstone palace once again. 

-

It had been weeks since you saw Eris or anyone other than Lucien and Madja. Your vow of silence was starting to drive Lucien crazy as he hunted his brother in between helping Madja to heal you to no avail and playing emissary. Alone in Moonstone Palace once again, you attempted the physiotherapy Madja had given you unsuccessfully. It was no use; you couldn't even do a few stretches, let alone have the coordination to hold a needle and thread. Lucien had brought what he could find of your things, the majority fitting into your trusty satchel. 

“Fuck!” A hiss left your lips as the scrap fabric you held dropped to the floor, followed by the needle and thread as your hand cramped up. “Fuck this fucking shit!!” You roared at the measly thread as it rolled the bobbin across the ground, it stopping under a boot. 

“Interesting choice of words” Your eyes swept up from the floor to the High Lord of Dawn. As quickly as the bobbin had fallen, you dropped to a deep curtsy, centuries of training slinking up your skin. 

“Rise” Thesan smiled, his gentle glow filling the small kitchen you had been attempting to work in. 

“My Lord is not here. I can leave a message for the Lucie-a Night Courts faithful emissary should you wish” 

“I'm here for you” Thesan’s grin grew as he pulled a chair back from the small table, sinking lightly down on its creaking wood, gesturing for you to sit across from him. Disregarding the unwound thread, you sat cautiously across from him, his eyes scanning you before almost gleaming as they met your hand. Instinctively, you let it fall to your lap beneath the table. Thesans dawn kissed hands crossed the table, encouraging you to place your hands in his. Reluctantly, you did so. 

“You must be something very special to him” before you could question the High Lord, light poured from fingertips, melding through your tissues, filling the skin of your mangled hand with light. You swore you could hear a dawn chorus of birds as peachy plush light wrapped its way around your bones, painlessly straightening your fingers and melding the scars. 

“Dressmakers, I can work with, Illyrian wings not so much” Thesan seemed to laugh to himself, pulling back from you. The skin felt foreign for a moment and then once again wholly yours and wholly pain-free, the first time since your punishment. Perhaps the first time since you began your dressmaking apprenticeship, which must be aeons ago.

“Th-thank you, how-how can I ever repay you” like cold water, the realisation you may now owe an extremely powerful fae a favour smacked across your face. 

“Your debt is paid, I should thank you” A somewhat dark smirk cascaded his face, contradicting his glowing aura. Thesan stood to leave, hardly giving his handiwork a second glance. 

“W-wait you should thank me? For what” 

“Leverage” as quick as he appeared, he was gone, a sinking feeling dragging you down in your mind. Leverage. Leverage. Leverage. For what? What could you have that he wanted? Practically everything you owned was in the worn leather satchel strewn across the kitchen table. You glanced at the bag briefly before the glimmer of a familiar metal object caught your eye. Your shears, your ever-faithful tools. Your weapon. Weapon. Weapon.

“Oh fuck” you snatched the bag, your hands feeling better than ever as your legs now started burning while they pumped across the Moonstone Palace. You nearly ran into Lucien's office door, the place was deserted once inside. Without full cognition, you began throwing his things around the room, clearing the desk, kicking over bookshelves, anything to trigger something that may alert the Prince of Foxes. 

“Thimble, have you lost your damn mind!” He half barked, half laughed as he winnowed into the room, endless reams of paper falling. 

“Dawn! Take me there!” You caught him by the shoulders, frantically searching his eyes. 

“Why do you want t- hey look, your hands!-” He gently squeezed the previously destroyed limb as if not believing his eyes alone "-you'll be back to making wardrobes of clothes in no time” You tore your hands back as if he slapped you. 

“Oh great, I'm of use again” 

“YN, you know that is never something i-”

“-save it, be of use to me now, take me to the Dawn Court Palace!” You would apologise to him later; he had done more than enough for you the past few months, and yet right now, you needed one more thing. Without further questioning, and perhaps out of newfound slight fear of you, Lucien flashed you both into the throne room of the Dawn Court. Thesan jolted slightly at the abrupt interruption, his courtiers stepping back from him as he sat on his throne. 

“Where is he!?” You barked, eating the floor between the two of you. 

“Forgive me, Lord, my dear friend here seems to have spent too much time at high altitudes in the Moonstone Palace” Lucien rushed to gently take hold of your elbow, tugging you back to his side before you could yank your arm free. 

“That's quite all right, Lucien. I was waiting for the Fireling to ignite h-” his words were cut short by your sudden, agile movement for his throat. Armed with your trusty shears pressed into the throat of a solar court Lord, you felt months and months, perhaps centuries, of lack of control over your own life boil away. 

“Where is he?” You chewed, Dawn Court soldiers circling the two of you, Lucien horrified behind them. You weren't an idiot; something about this display was amusing Thesan, otherwise you'd have been dust. He placed a soft touch on your recently mended wrist, allowing space to grow between the blades and his carotid arteries. Thesan simply clicked his other fingers, the adjacent wall turning on obscured hinges to peel away and reveal Eris. Eris, with his hands bound to a molten coloured box, palms splayed and boiling. Through a winced face of pure agony, Eris was able to blot you into view in his darkening vision. 

“Don't-make me jealous” you let a brief laugh leave you at the sound of him choking out a joke. 

“Let him go” you drew your attention back to the High Lord you were currently straddling.

“As you wish” He grinned, snapping his fingers as Eris roared for him to stop. As his burned hands released from the unassuming box, a cruel jolt shot through your arm. As if your neurons had detached from your nervous system, a cruel coursing pain shot across the synapses, your dominant hand starting to contort. You shot back from Thesan, your shears dropping to the floor with a clatter as the swelling, overwhelming pain rocked through your once again cracking bones, as if they had freshly had Beron's boot meet them. 

“YN, I made a bargain!” Eris called to you through your screams of shocked anguish, Lucien trying and failing to get to you through the guards. 

“I'm not a cruel fae YN, I am fair. No weapon, no healing,” Thesan seemed pleased with his loophole around Beron's withholding. Eris clambered over to you, forcing himself to his feet; he would fall to his knees beneath no one's throne, exhausted or not. 

“YN, please let me stop the pain. I can fix what I did” his almost crisped hands met your shoulders, his wildfire eyes searching yours for reason. 

“No, I-I can handle it” you fought through tears, your hand once again mangled, potentially somehow worse.

“I can't let you like this, you love your work!”

“No Eris! I love you! You! I don't care if I can never hold a scrap of fabric again, as long as I can hold you!” You bit through tears as Eris's own seemed to brim his lashline. As quickly as Lucien had flashed you into the Dawn Court Palace, Eris had taken you out, and the familiar walls of your quarters in Moonstone Palace appeared. Eris's finger tips are buried deep into your hips, hauling you two to meet chest to chest in the darkened room. With a quick glance at the fireplace, fire burst to life in the ashes of the hearth you thought would forever freeze. 

“Say it again” if you hadn't been alone in the room, you may have missed his hushed voice. 

“I love you” you replied without hesitation, Eris lowering his forehead to yours in response, breathing you in. The feeling of your bedpost suddenly pressed into your back as Eris backed you towards it. 

“Again”

“I love you” he took another breath of you as you spoke the words, soft enough it caused the hair on the nape of his neck to stand up. 

“Again” 

“No” you laughed lightly, attempting to playfully push him back, only to be met with a steadfast weight. 

“Again” he commanded.

“Eris, no, I'm embarrassed now” You laughed again, the intensity in his eyes only growing at the sound of his name. Before you could goad him further, a sharp breath left your mouth as Eris buried his teeth into your neck, tantalisingly slow. You couldn't help it; the low noise that left your mouth was coming from your very cells. 

“My vicious little thing, you're going to destroy me, no shears necessary” he ran his nose up the nape of your neck, whispering those words into your ear. Your weak grip tightened on his biceps as he buried his fingerprints further into your hips while you subconsciously found your body grinding into his. 

“And if I ever see you on someone else's lap ever again-” you watched his golden eyes flicker with flames before flushing back with his own colour.

“-toast” you smirked, finishing his sentence. “Toast” he agreed with a smile. 

“I can't believe you were going to give yourself to the Dawn Court like that for me”

“YN, when will you accept that I will give everything for you” his earnest words rang true, you would never doubt it for a second, but still, you could have your fun.

“When you say the three little words back” you goaded. 

“I love you” without hesitation. 

“Y-you said it” Your shock made him laugh before he kissed your cheek gently. 

“I love you” 

“You said it again” you were now laughing to match his.

“I love you, three times each, now we're even” You hit him playfully in his chest, his arms going up in defence before he caught your knotted hand, placing a gentle kiss on your cracked knuckles.

“I told you, you would not enter my Court again without an appointment!” Rhysand's voice boomed through the room, Eris shielding you from view as he faced his frenemy. Lucien crashed into the room, breathless as if he had run from the Dawn Court. Before Eris could rebut, you stepped out from behind him. 

“Rhysand, my Lord, kindly, fuck off” Two of the males stared at you in shock, Eris only in pride. 

“Eh-uh-I-uh” it was as if you had cut Rhysand's tongue out with the shears, causing a booming laugh to leave Lucien. The Prince of Foxes clapped a hand on his High Lord's shoulder. 

“C’mon, Rhysand, I'll buy you a s'more” Lucien flashed the two of them out of the room, leaving you to turn back to Eris, who just shook his head with a smirk from side to side. 

“My vicious little thing”

-----------------------------------

Whatcha think???

The Night Court landed with their usual power into the ballroom of the Hewn City residence, an event between the solar courts to help gain more favour in the fight against Hybern. You hung to the back of the group, unsure of your place in this outwards display of power, the room stilling as they took their welcome in their stride. Eventually Rhysands and Feyre released them from their display of submission, the party bursting to life. The group other than High Lord and Lady dispersed across the ballroom, all with their set target to woo into negotiations. You scoped along the edges of the ballroom, not drawing much attention until you clattered into a server, the tray of champagne coating your dress. 

“Argh!” The biting cold of the gold liquid nipped your skin as it sank into the endless layers. The ramble of apologies from the server was interrupted by a colossal shadow.

“Hm, like a soggy burnt cupcake” you dragged your eyes from your gown up to the source of the smoky voice, a tussle of perfect auburn hair and captivating Autumn Court eyes meeting yours. Your words drained from your tongue, the imposing stature of the male enough to steal away any comeback. 

“My lady I apologise for this-”

“Go. Get out of our sight, what kind of staff does Rhysand hire around here?” you watched the server's face sink before she scurried off at the harsh tone of the male. 

“Prick” you whispered, turning to leave the shadow of the Son of Autumn, only to feel the strong hold of his grip on your forearm, turning you back to him. 

“Heir actually” he smirked deeply, Eris' eyes dancing a little as they met yours again. 

“I somehow believe that the name I called you is a more common moniker people use for you, your High Ass” you snatched your back away, his energy something you wanted to play with even with the possibility of it burning you alive. 

“Thank you for noticing” he winked as you fought every nerve to not roll your eyes as you turned to walk away from him. 

“Now if you'll excuse me, I'm wet and need to sort this out”

“I do tend to have that effect on females, I'm sure I could help you reach…resolution” this time you couldn't keep your eyes from looking up to the heavens as you left the Prince of Autumn smirking into his champagne. 

You stormed your way to the private bathroom down one of the many halls of the buried city. Alone in the bathroom you took stock of the situation. With a deep breath you looked out of the bathroom door, ensuring no one was around before you closed it gently again. With a shaky hand you began to fan your fingers down your dress, careful not to touch the soaked fabric as steady heat began to pulsate through your skin. You smiled deeply as you felt the fabric beginning to dry. The cauldron had gifted you the elements but you weren't ready to share with your new family, not ready to have them examine you even closer, attempt to control you even tighter, even if it was meant with love. The thought pings into your head, what would they think? You could create measly sparks, nothing compared to the gargantuan powers your sisters had been gifted. You suddenly felt searing heat, the distraction causing you to lose control of your abilities, as has happened earlier in Feyres wardrobe. Thankful Nesta had bought that you knocked the candlestick, a perfectly plausible explanation for someone so clumsy. 

“Shit fuck!” You cursed, the front of your dress sticking to the now uncontrolled flame as you began to pat furiously at the golden fire. You finally managed to snuff it out, looking again in the mirror to find the front layers of the poofy skirt burned through, the slip now the last layer keeping you decent. 

“Fuuuuuuuccccck” you droned, your hands finding your hips.

“You sound like you're having a terrible time in there Cupcake do I need to call a healer?” you heard Eris laugh from the other side of the door. You panickingly looked around the room for anything to cover yourself with, snatching the world's smallest hand towel from the rack to drape it across your front. 

“I'm fine” you sidestepped the Autumn Heir, his eyebrow raised as he sniffed the air. His eyes dropped down to the cloth you clung to poorly cover the damage. Your eyes met Eris’ again and you sighed, dropping the cloth to reveal the warped tulle. 

“Hmm would you believe me if I said it improved the dress?” he smirked and you found yourself laughing back at him, shoving him playfully into the shoulder and then remembering yourself.

“Sorry I-I, my sisters say I must have been in the land of imaginary beings every etiquette class we had” you offered quietly, covering back over the shriveling fabric. 

“Well, fuck etiquette anyway” Eris found himself smiling at you softly, the action seemingly catching you both off guard. 

“How'd you do that anyway?” He coughed to clear the smile before returning to his curiosity.

“Oh I-emm there was a candlestick and yanno, clumsy” you gave a somewhat panicked laugh, trying to avoid his stare. Eris replied with a hum before he stretched out his long wingspan, banging the door of the bathroom back to look into the small room, no candles to be found. He raised his eyebrow at you as the door swung close again. 

“Want to try another lie Cupcake?” He stepped slightly closer into you, the rush of fresh Autumn air seemingly flowing from him. 

“I-”

“YN! There you are, we're fin-what happened to you!” Feyre quickly took stock of your tattered dress, darting her eyes from the fraying to the Lord of Fire. She looked accusatory towards Eris, poking a finger into his face.

“Did you do this to her!?” She barked, Eris briefly looking over her shoulder to find your wild pleading eyes begging him. 

“Yes-” he responded with a sigh “-rouge flame, happens when I sneeze or something” he shrugged, you covered your mouth for a moment with the back of your hand, stifling a laugh. The smile dropped from your face as Feyre turned on the balls of her feet back to you, before looking angrily between you both again. 

“I’ve just gotten Nesta to agree to let you venture out with us more and you go and do this, I'm so disappointed YNN” her saddened face burned harsher than the earlier flames until Eris dragged back the attention.

“Eh excuse me but is Nesta her keeper? As far as I'm aware Lady YN is an adult, what do you mean let her?” he chewed out the last words as Feyre turned her attention back to him.

“You! Stay out of my family business”

“Fine by me, stay out of mine, where is my dear brother anyways?” Eris tilted his head with a grin, Feyre leaving out an exasperated huff in response.

“C’mon YN, we're not trying to damage any more relationships so let's just not mention Toasties little hayfever here, we'll say you did it yourself” she took your hand and began to pull you from the scene.

“More believable than you think” you heard Eris whisper gently, before waving at you with just the tips of his fingers, his laugh then filling the hallway. 

-

Alone in your room again you began throwing things around, practically shouting profanities at the idea that anyone might have caught you, especially him. You knew he'd use this information to manipulate something out of you but when and how. And why didn't he do it there when he had the chance? Leverage you decided, he wanted leverage for something. You sank down onto the foot of your bed, digging your palms into your eyes and wishing you never begged to leave these four walls. You threw your hands down again when suddenly a stray fireball flung free from your fingertips before you extinguished it. You huffed harshly, that was happening more and more often, soon you'd have to tell your family, ask for instruction and accept the return of the lock and key you lived under. 

-

Four weeks later

Your family sat around the large table within the House of Wind, the sinking sun causing the large windows to almost glitter. 

“Sorry I'm late I was-” the words caught in your throat as your eyes snagged on Eris, casually sitting back in one of the towering chairs of the dining table. 

“Nevermind now YNN, sit down, I swear where were you when we were at etiquette lessons” you barely heard Nesta’s comment as you sank into your usual seat, inconveniently across from Eris.

“I hear the land of imaginary beings” 

“What was that?” You lightly kicked Eris under the table at Nesta's inquiry. His eyes shot to yours in shock and you panickingly looked down at the light salad on your plate leaving Eris to brush off Nesta’s question. The table went back to its conversation, discussing various strategies that Eris occasionally weighed in on as you bore holes in the dinner plate with your eyes. 

“Prythian to YN, hello?” Your head snapped up to find Cassian waving at you from across the table. 

“Wh-what sorry?”

“I'm sure that plate is very interesting sister but Cassian just asked about your day” 

“S-sorry Feyre, it was fine thank you Cass” you smiled softly at the Illyrian.

“Just fine YN? Nothing of interest sparking to your mind? No burning comments on our plans even?”

“No” you gritted out slightly at Eris, who's grin only dipped into his cup of wine. The table looked between you both before Feyre spoke again.

“Well Elaine said you're a great help in the garden” Elaine nodded in agreement and you gave a weak smile. You knew they were lying, the only thing you could grow was height, every plant seemingly withering under your touch. 

“That's the hot new hobby YN? Roasting under the scorching sun in the garden” Eris took another sip.

“YN should come with me to learn to dance, she'd like that” Nesta smiled, ignoring the tension between you and Eris. 

“She would Nes, maybe we could teach her some traditional Night Court waltzes, what do you think Rhysand?”

“An excellent idea Feyre, YN could maybe spend some time in the library, oh she could-”

“-Maybe perhaps you should ask YN what she wants to do with her time?” Eris cut sharply across the group's planning of your time, his defence startling you. The table all looked to you, eyebrows raised for their response. 

“I-I…sounds great” you said defeatedly into your desert as the table went back to their planning of your life. You caught Eris’ eyes who looked at you with such sadness it made your skin heat. 

This whole damn conversation made your skin heat. Eris was right they should ask you what you want. Ask you what freakin dances you want to learn, not that you want to learn any dances when you have two left feet. They always did this, always controlled every step you took under the guise of protection. Well damn their protection you were sick of it, sick of you losing your voice every time they spoke to you. It was making your blood boil. Why couldn't you have the same confidence with them that you had with Eris? And you hardly knew him. 

“YN” you looked up to Eris’s softened features before glancing up at the table to see your family's faces ashen. 

“What’s wr-” you looked back down to your hand, the ball of fire from your digits melting the desert fork you once held. You left out a stifled laugh, the flame dying in your hands before you wiped the dripping metal off the now forever ruined table cloth. 

“She-she controls fire”

“I do not-” you waved your hand attempting to cover your tracks, a ball of flame slinging free from your hands, causing Eris to duck and narrowly miss being toasted. Feyre quickly shaped a snake of water from her cup to extinguish the fire before it ruined another set of curtains. 

“Control is a strong word” Eris chuckled and you glared again. 

“How long have you known YN?” Nesta asked with trepidation, dragging her eyes off the curtains back to you.

“I um-”

“You burned your own dress that night of the ball, not Eris!” Feyre realised, the table looking at her with confusion.

“YN you burned your dress? You could have hurt yourself!” Nesta gave you a worried glance as Cassian spoke again. 

“YN must be trained”

“YN should go to a healer to see to any burns-”

“YN should have told us sooner”

“YN should-”

“Hey Cupcake, watch yourself” you heard Eris whisper over the group's further discussion of your future, another ball of flame growing from your hands. Eris reached out and touched the very tip of the burning light, seemingly pulling it into his own hand before quashing it. 

“Enough” you said quietly, not taking your eyes from Eris. 

“C’mon Cupcake, use your outside voice” he winked and you finally snapped. 

“ENOUGH!” You shouted, pushing back the giant chair with a scrape. 

“YN, you forget yourself”

“No Nesta! You forget yourself!” You snapped back at her, Eris sitting smugly back into his chair, his fingers laced together in front of him. 

“I've had enough of you all telling me what I can and can't do! What I can and can't wear! Feyre you had a male do that to you for a season and you nearly destroyed his Court! That's been my whole life and I've had enough!” You snapped before releasing the breath from your lungs. It felt like a thousand pounds had been taken off your chest. 

“I am not going to a healer, I'm not going to one of your trainers and I'm not going to learn to fucking waltz!” You barked again, Eris looking down at his lap to bury his grin as the table looked almost appalled at your seemingly out of nowhere outburst.

“You!” You jabbed a finger towards Eris, his head snapping up “You are going to teach me to control this!”

“Yes ma’am” Eris gave you a fake salute, he could no longer hide his smirk, especially as the colour had completely drained from Rhysand and Feyre. 

“YN, we can get Lucien to train you-”

You thought you heard Eris growl at Azriels suggestion, only for you to raise your hand to the shadowsinger.

“No, this smug bastard here is going to do it. Lucien is busy juggling two emissary roles and I have a feeling this poxy prick in front of me hasn't got a hobby” Eris put his hand to his chest in faux hurt as the group closed their collective jaws at the language from you. 

“It will have to be in the Autumn Court if I am to continue my own role at home” Eris only spoke towards you and you tilted your head side to side.

“Okay sounds good” 

“Wait wait wait absolutely not!” Rhysand stood, the sudden spike in hostility causing Eris to stand, only causing Feyre to stand before next thing you knew everyone was on their feet in verbal outrage at the idea of you leaving the Night Court. 

“Hello! Did none of you hear me! Enough, I said enough! I'm going” you shouted over the fray before storming out of the dining room, Eris quick on your heels. 

“Just for the record Cupcake that was incredibly fucking hot”

“I've had enough fire puns out of you” You snapped slightly at him as he raised his hands in surrender before laughing. 

-

You packed your bags quickly, packing what you could of your Night Court wardrobe, afraid this sudden new found courage would burn out as quickly as it came. When you reached the large doors of the House of Wind you found your family standing in deep discussion, Eris on its outskirts with his arms folded and a bored expression. 

“YN, are you su-”

“-Yes Elaine, I'm sure” you squeezed your sister's arm lightly before Eris took your rucksack from your shoulder and threw it over his. 

“Eris has agreed to return you in 3 months for Starfall…if-if that's okay with you?” You could have laughed at Cassian's question, never once did your family ask if something was okay when it came to your life. You could get used to this. You smiled at the towering Illyrian before hugging him.

“If anything happens to her I swear I'll-”

“-Yes yes Lady Death whatever, let's go Cupcake I've had enough pleasantries” Eris batted away Nesta's pointed finger, stretching out his elbow for you to take hold of. You hugged the rest of your family goodbye before taking Eris' offered arm, sealing your decision. 

-

You landed on solid ancient wooden floors with a thud as Eris winnowed you both into his secluded cabin deep in the woods. You stepped from him in an instant, bracing your arms on your thighs as you tried to regain balance after winnowing so far. Eris just watched you for a moment before slipping his hands down his chest. 

“Right well, I wasn't expecting a house guest but you'll stay here during your time in my Court. I will remain in the main house many miles from here to keep from arousing suspicion. You will not leave this house without me. You will not talk to anyone without me. You will not-”

“Why do I have the feeling I've traded one prison for the other?” you righted yourself again, your hands finding your hips. 

“Oh Cupcake-” he stepped in closer to you as he spoke “-this is much worse than prison” he smirked, a chill rattling over your bones.

“Don't leave the house” he repeated, a dart of flame leaving his hand to fill the fire before he sank away in smoke. 

-

The next three weeks was Eris barking orders at you and you failing to comply, unable to call back the flame you created at dinner weeks previous. 

“You're not trying hard enough!”

“Maybe you're a shitty teacher!” You snapped back, the early morning sun cresting the tall ancient trees in the forest clearing Eris had deemed as your training grounds. 

“You're such a brat”

“And you're a prick, I can name call too!” Your hands found your hips, something flashing across Eris' face before he began to close the vast distance between you. He suddenly launched a flame towards you, sending you diving to the ground to avoid it. He sent another. 

“Eris stop!”

“Block me Cupcake, block me with your own flame” he shot another few sharp sparks, then singed the hairs on your arms as you failed to block. He sent more.

“Stop!” 

“Stop me!” He circled you around the clearing like a wolf and its prey, releasing a stronger than intended blast of pure destruction. You quickly realised you wouldn't dodge this one, instead you raised a hand, a blast of your own fire shooting out and deflecting his. 

“Good, again!” He didn't give you a chance to celebrate, only sent more flames. This whole process was repeated until the rising sun started to say good night, sinking down beneath the towering mountains. You sat breathless on the grass, your arms sootie from flames you weren't quick enough to stop. 

“You did good today Cupcake” Eris dropped down next to you, finally calling a truce. 

“You're such a prick”

“So you've said” he laughed, the sound sending soothing heat over your aching muscles. 

“You look sickly in those clothes by the way” he nodded towards your Night Court fighting leathers, an apology gift from your sisters. 

“You love to comment on my clothing”

“The only comment I have about your clothing is that I wish you weren't wearing any” you laughed at his grinning face, nudging him with your shoulder. 

“Or at least-” he sniffed the air “-clothes that didn't smell” your jaw dropped in fake offence, and you shoved the Autumn Heir with more force, his elbow sinking into some thick mud. 

“Ugh! I love this shirt! You're dead!” He laughed, whipping his head around only to find gone from the spot next to him and running laughing across the field. Eris was on his feet after you but not before you clattered him with a ball of river silt as you dove out of the way of his grip. 

“YN!” His laughter filled the clearing as he caught you, throwing you over one of his shoulders as you shrieked with laughter. Suddenly you didn't feel him beneath you, just crisp Autumn air and then freezing water as Eris flung you into the stream. 

“Eris!” You howled through rattling teeth, standing to clatter him with more mud. Eris blasted a quick ball of flame towards you singing your clothes. 

“Eris! You did that on purpose!” You clung the shreds to you as Eris nearly turned purple from laughing.

“I make no secret I hate those Night Court clothes on you! Or any clothes might I add” he quipped before running from your mud laden hands. Eris finally called truce when his hair turned the colour of mud with your successful aim. He walked you back to the cabin, the two of you in blissful silence as the songs of the forest at night sang to you. 

“There's a present for you in your room, good night Cupcake” Eris smiled softly at the door before sinking into flame. You hurried to the room he now called yours to find a trunk or Autumn palette clothing. You held the delicate fabric to your skin, seemingly illuminating your complexion. 

“Jealous prick” you whispered to yourself, not denying yourself the growing smile on your face. A notecard catching your eyes “from a jealous prick” penned across the cream coloured card. 

-

2 months since arriving in Autumn

“Put her in” you screamed and screamed as they dragged you towards the cauldron. Begged and pleaded that you'd be better, screamed and cried as they hauled you over the rim and sank you into the water. It's water more like molten lava to your skin as they held you under, the thick magma threatening to choke you as you screamed. 

“YN! YN! WAKE UP!” You shrieked as you shot up in the bed, Eris at your bedside, his own skin as clammy as yours as you heaved air into your lungs. You landed a hand on your throat, checking for burns down your trachea as you swallowed.

“It was a dream, it's okay, you're not-you're not there” 

“Eris” you rasped out.

“Yes, Eris, you're okay now” he sat down on the edge of your bed as you vibrated next to him. He couldn't help himself as he pulled you into his warm embrace, this healing heat worlds away from the inferno inside the cauldron. 

“I'll kill them all YN, they will pay for this” he whispered into your hair as he stroked it, calming his own nerves as much as yours. 

“Kill who?” You murmured into his chest.

“I don't know- just them all” he felt you laughing against him, relief filling his chest at the sound as you pulled back from him. Eris ran a thumb across your cheek, swiping away the stray tears. 

“Shouldn't you be at the palace?”

“Sorry I just felt you- I mean I thought I better come check on you after our rough training today and good thing I did, you were screaming down the cabin”

“What? No comment about being the one to make me scream” you laughed lightly.

“Hey if that's what you want Cupcake” he shrugged and you laughed again, lightly pushing him back. 

“There she is” you heard him whisper to himself, your eyes meeting his. 

“I know- I know this is stupid but…” you trailed off, looking anywhere but at Eris.

“Nothing you could say is stupid YN” you rolled your neck to look back at him and he laughed.

“Okay I mean when you thought my dogs were going to eat you was pretty silly but please, tell me”

“Fine…would you stay here with me? Just-just for tonight, I'm sorry I know that's stupid” you looked away from him only to have him draw your gaze back with a gentle hold on your chin. 

“I'll stay but you have to tell me everything about what happened to you in there, everything you're comfortable sharing with me” he smiled softly and you nodded in agreement. Eris cautiously crawled into the bed alongside you, swaddling his arms tightly around you until your back was flush to his chest. He then felt you laugh quietly against him.

“Wh-what?” 

“Nothing”

“No tell me” Eris felt uncharacteristically self conscious at your giggling.

“Nothing it's just- it's just I didn't mean stay here with me… in the bed with me, just stay in the cabin” Eris felt his whole face flush purple, your laugh now at full volume as you heard Eris groan in embarrassment into your hair. His hands began to slip back from you until you anchored him again to your stomach, sitting further back against his chest.

“Just stay” you said so softly he wasn't sure he heard you correctly only to have you gently nudge closer into him, your eyes falling heavy. Eris thought of all the reasons he should get up, leave you now you've settled again, protect you from what he might bring and yet, he just wanted to hold this moment in his hands forever, so he stayed. 

-

The following three weeks Eris made every possible excuse to his family to spend more time with you and every night he possibly could. The two of you began to share meals together, evenings by the glow of the wood burner, legs tangled on the couch while you both read in blissful silence. Eris couldn't stop himself from baring all to you and the thought of you leaving his Court to return home in a week was starting to turn his mood. 

“And that's how I slept with all those sisters” Eris' brother laughed aloud at the dinner table, his mother's head dipped to her dinner plate at the right hand of his father's chair. Eris entered the scene already ready to leave, slowly taking his seat to the left of his father's chair.

“What about you brother? Not like you to not be flaunting your latest conquests? All quiet these past few months” his middle brother mocked, attempting to bait and failing. 

“Where is father?” He found himself asking instead, noting his father's absence despite being already 15 minutes late for dinner himself, the rest of his family already tucking into their dinners.

“Hunting in the woods” his mother said down to her plate, her broken voice heating the usual simmering rage in his chest. Eris took his customers sniffing his goblet of wine before taking a drink. 

“Hunting some alleged fire breathing demon in the East woods corridor” the wine nearly came out of Eris' nose at the shock of his third youngest brother. His mother's eyes darted up as Eris clapped his chest with a heavy hand, begging the wine to release it's grip from his lungs.

“The East corridor?” He choked out, already standing to leave.

“Yes, reports of fire damage to neighbouring farm fences, what has your testicles in a twist? Where are you going?” Eris hardly heard his brother's questioning before he was out the solid oak doors, howling for his hounds to follow close. 

Sweat began to drip down Eris' neck as the wind beat his face, his trusted stallion hammered hooves into the dusk soaked soil. The hounds yelped and yipped, coursing ahead of their beloved owner. 

The front door of the cottage nearly came off its hinges as Eris slammed it open, the dogs flooding into the cabin.

“YN! YN! C'mon Cupcake this isn't the time to play hide and seek!” He practically roared through the various rooms of the cabin, pulling out wardrobes and looking under beds, the cabin deserted. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck where are you!?” Desperation coating his voice as he ran back to his mount before taking off into the darkening woods. Eris galloped to an empty training ring, shot across the deserted streams, you nowhere to be found and nowhere where he had set out your boundaries. In the distance Eris heard his eldest hound, Craos, snapping her teeth. Quickly coming onto the scene, relief flushed into his lungs as he watched the hound howl up at you, sat reading in an ancient tree, a look of surprised horror on your face. 

“Eris? What are you doing here?” You smiled, sliding down the bark of the tree to your feet, Eris eating up the ground between you now on foot. His heavy hands caught hold of your shoulders, your book dropping to the ground in shock as he drank in your features, scanning for injury.

“YN are you alright?”

“Yes yes I'm fine, what are you doing here? Don't you have that family dinner?”

“Wh-what am I doing here?” He whispered icy words before taking a small step back.

“Yea-”

“What am I doing here!? YN what the absolute fuck are you doing out here!?” He chewed, his tone biting at your bones with unfamiliar pain. 

“I'm just out here reading I-”

“I'm just out here reading-” he Mimicked your voice before snatching your wrist in his and pulling you along “c’mon we're going”

“Eris relax I-”

“-Relax? Fucking relax? Do you have any idea where the fuck you are? Do you live in the land of imaginary beings full time? This is not there. This is the Autumn Court and this is not your safe haven” he spun back around half barking the words into your face.

“I-I just thought- I’m sorry I just feel so at home here I-” your voice was breaking but you kept the tears in, the word home stinging into Eris soul as he began to pull you along again.

“This is not your home” he forced himself to say, words betraying his heart. You felt the world spin on its axis, never did you think this male would hurt you and here he was to prove you wrong. You yanked your wrist free, crossing your arms tightly into your chest, Eris gesturing to the horse with a hand beckoning you to mount. 

“Fuck you Eris” The words rattled out through gritted teeth. 

“Wh-what?”

“I said fuck-” you jabbed a finger into his chest “-you” almost steaming tears began to form at your water line, your skin turning red with rage. 

“YN-”

“Well well well, what do we have here?” Eris' heart dropped to his boots as he spun around to find his father mounted on a magnificent cobalt steed, a small hunting party flanking him. Eris sank to a brief bow, glancing quickly at you, beginning for you to do the same. You reluctantly dropped your arms back to your side, sinkinging into a short curtsey. 

“Well I do say son, you keep all the beautiful females to yourself these days” Eris took a subtle step forward, every so slightly obscuring you from his father. 

“She was a lost traveler, I was reprimanding her for trespassing” The ease of Eris’ lying caught you off guard and unsettled you slightly. 

“Allow me to help” a flicker of pure darkness dashed across his father's face, Eris taking another side step to block you.

“Father that isn't necessary I-” 

“-Fellows, seize her now, it's been an age since I've had a good plaything” the words sent goose bumps all over your skin, Eris' hounds circling the perimeter with a growl. You took a step past Eris before his guards could dismount. 

“Nobel High Lord, I am but a lost traveler, looking for passage to the Spring Court where my contact awaits my arrival. I am of the Night Court and they are expecting me” The faux grandeur of your voice upset something in Eris he couldn't pin down. 

“Well, they'll have to come get you from my chambers” this time you heard Eris growl as the hunting party dismounted and began to close in on you. 

“Unlikely” you laughed cooly, the realisation of what was going to happen next rocketing through the Heir to the Autumn Court. Before Eris could beg you not to, you had already raised your arms, encircling the whole group in a blaze of golden fire. The sudden change in atmosphere caught the Autumn Court members by surprise. Beron raised a hand to squash the flame, unsuccessfully as you washed a blast of heat to his hunting party blowing them back onto their tail bones. You quickly drew another wall of fire, separating you and Eris from Beron and his pack. 

“YN, are you fucking crazy?” Eris shot to you, his own flames supporting yours as he heard his father roar from the other side, just warming up to fight back. 

“I had enough of the training wheels” you strained your voice with raised hands beckoning the wall to rise higher, taking small steps back. 

“YN, get on the horse and go, don't stop until you reach the Spring Court-” Berons own flames starting to swallow yours, flickers of his enraged face through the inferno.

“-Eris I can't leave you I-” 

“-You have to go! I can't he'll know something is wrong, he'll hunt us, destroy us, I can't put the mission at risk!” He pleaded, hauling you over his shoulder before dumping you on the back of the unsettled mount. 

“I don't want to risk you!”

“Too fucking bad Cupcake” Eris then smacked the rear of the horse, sending it startled, bolting with your haphazardly on the back into the woods. Without your help, Beron quickly conquered the flames, Eris throwing himself down onto the ground before he did.

“She-she overpowered me” Eris coughed out, lying through his teeth.

“Pathetic, we will discuss this later” Beron spat before rushing back to his own steed and galloping off in your direction, Eris safe in the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to reach you after your headstart. 

Eris laid on the long, torched grass, staring up at the night sky, his hounds slowly circling into him before settling at his side. His heavy hand rested against their skin as they cuddled in, weight sitting deep into Eris lungs from the pressure of the hounds and the sinking feeling of what just happened. You wouldn't forgive him after what he said, his father was going to mangle him, what was the point of leaving this beautiful night sky unmarvelled. The punishment would come but for now, Eris just wanted to take a moment of reprieve before he was sure all hell would break out

--------------------------

“Finished for the night YNN?”

“Yeah, right on time to watch that trainwreck” You plastered a smile across your face that didn't quite reach your eyes as you took a deep drink from your glass and threw the apron around the other side of the bar. Elaine cuddled in closer to Azriel, a stray hand finding a home on his thigh as his arm rested on the back of the booth behind her. You quietly simmered with rage as she batted her eyelashes at him, and he did nothing to stop her advances.

“I know you want him back and you're scared what happened…will happen again” he said somewhat sheepishly.

“Wow, Cassian, I didn’t realise you were studying to become a mind reader” you laughed with Cassian before an idea entered your head. You tore your eyes from the booth and landed them on Lucien Vanserra, back fresh from another disastrous trip to Spring, nursing a drink at the tail end of the bar. 

“Oh god, not that look” Cassian once again was disappointingly shaking his head. 

“What?”

“That's the, let me jump on the next thing that moves and distract myself from the deep unresolved feelings I have towards Azriel, look” he took the fresh drink you offered him as you finished your own before replacing it.

“A rebrand should be considered” he laughed at you and your similarities to Azriel before dragging a hand down his face in mild annoyance at your mirrored ignorance with his brother. When he looked back, you were already gone, he released a breath that sounded a lot like here we go before heading back to his friends at the booth. 

It didn’t take long for Azriel to spot you and Lucien looking extremely close, your knee between his two as you both sat together laughing in your own little world. While you would admit that initial you sat with the Prince of Foxes to piss off the Prince of Shadows, you were enjoying Luciens company for what it was. The night was starting to become a very drunk mess, and you were only delighted not to be on the closing shift and instead very much part of the chaos. 

You dragged Lucien to the dance floor, twirling under the technicolour light as the whiskey hit you like the flicks of light from the disco ball. You felt Lucien’s strong hands stroke up the length of your sides, his tipsy demeanour fighting to steady you both. This was short-lived as suddenly Lucien’s whole world went horizontal. 

“Azriel!” Cassian and Rhysand leapt out of the booth, bolting to their brother as he drunkenly pinned the son of Autumn to the sticky dancefloor. Your head started to uncomfortably swirl from the alcohol as you looked down at the two brawling males. You rolled your heavy eyes, stepping over their legs and heading for the door. 

You made it about halfway down the street on tired legs before Azriel jogged to meet your stride.

“YNN, where are you going!?” 

“Away from you!” You half shouted back to his raised tone, dragging your fallen hair from your face before attempting to push past him, failing miserably as he took a drunken but gentle hold of your wrist.

“Leave me go Az!” “When are you just going to stop pretending that you don’t still have feelings for me!?” his almost untamable eyes searched yours for answers, wishing the next words that left you fell on deaf ears.

“When are you going to stop pretending you didn’t hurt me!?” You snatched back your wrist harshly from him, despite him giving it to you willingly, the second you gave the indication to be let go. You left out a deep, exasperated breath before storming past him again. 

“YNN, that was a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake, she didn't mean anything to me-” his small voice was swallowed again by your sharp tone as you whipped around again to face him.

“-Then why'd you do it!?” The street lights cut through the night as you bit back alcohol induced tears.

“I-I we just lost Rhysand and we-we had that big fight and I thought I lost you too and I-” “-Azriel! Are you okay!?” Elaine’s worried voice cut across the explanation you had heard a million times, your shoulders sinking at the sound. He half turned to her as she approached the scene slowly. 

“Elaine, can you give us a minute? YN and I were just-” he turned back to gesture to you, but you had already gone. 

-

It became an almost silent pact between you and Azriel to not talk about that night again; any time he entered the bar during one of your shifts, he’d leave again. Things were hauntingly familiar to when you broke up originally. Work began to consume half of his life, the other half was engulfed by Elaine. With his two best friends mated to her sisters, it felt like a natural progression to seek the same in Elaine, to no fruition. Yet, Azriel told himself, the bond hadn’t snapped yet, but it had to, right? 

When not at work, you found odd comfort in Feyre, her hopeful determination for a better future, nurturing something in you you thought you lost. As for Lucien, he seemed much to entangled in his messy work life for anything to blossom there, and so you two went back to a pleasant acquaintance; the same could not be said for him and Azriel. This very thought entered your head as you watched the two males avoid one another at Feyre’s birthday dinner in the House of Wind. You sat across from Rhysand at the long dinner table, Feyre lightly touching your hand before she sat down at the top of the table, the other guests only beginning to take their seats. 

You examined the splendour of the table setting in front of you, a reminder you were still a different pay grade to the fae you frequently brushed elbows with. Heat radiated to the crown of your head, as you lifted to watch Elaine, almost bore holes into with her scrutinising gaze. Clearly, Feyre had forgotten to mention to her dear sister all aspects of the guest list.

You looked briefly at Azriel, dressed in a suit he definitely did not pick out himself, its pastel colour complementing Elaine's dress but washing him out entirely. His hair was slicked in a way you knew that bothered him, but that's not what set your blood boiling. Azriel finally sat, almost directly across from you, your eyes snagging on his hands as they reached for the filled wine glass. Gloves. He was wearing gloves. You looked from them to right into his eyes, accidentally catching him watching you. He seemed to plead with his eyes for you not to make a scene before giving you his attempt at a reassuring smile, it not reaching his eyes. Your shared look was torn apart as Elaine caught his chin, dragging his attention back to her words. You decided then to get pissed drunk, the only way you were making it through this night without ripping Elaines clips from her skull.

The dinner was a beautiful feast, the after-dinner drinks even nicer as you all sat around the table regaling stories of your youth, the Archeron sisters eager to hear. 

“And what about you YN? Where do you come from?” The table suddenly quieted as Elaine addressed you for the first time directly, her arm possessively linked through Azriel’s across the table from you. 

“Velaris, lived here my whole little life” You gave her a soft smile, she didn’t return.

“And you work in Rita's? That’s all you do, a bit pitiful, no?”

“Actually, YNN grandmother owns Rita’s, she keeps us well-sated” Mor came to your rescue, reading between the lines of Elaine's somewhat pointed question. 

“If by that you mean she keeps us rip roaring drunk” Cassian laughed loudly, raising a glass to you as you beamed at him. 

“Oh do you remember that t-time Cass, that we drank their taps dry!” Rhysand bellowed from the top of the table, Cassian laughing loudly in return.

“Yeah! YNN left the bar top unattended for what, like, 30 minutes? And-and we gods, practically just drank straight from the tap!” the group laughed at the story.

“YN, that's so irresponsible of you!” Feyre fake scolded you, smiling towards you with laughter borne tears in her eyes. 

“Well her and Azriel were busy fucking in the stock room, I didn’t even think you could last 30 minutes Az! We were getting dehydrated waiting!” Cassian's booming laugh covered the table as you covered your smirking face with your palm, sinking slightly into the chair. When you removed it, you looked at Azriel scold a hysterically drunk Cassain across the table, Elaine's heated stare once again prickling your skin. 

“That was a long time ago” You laughed lightly, desperate to change the subject. 

“Oh! What about his birthday weekend when Azriel thought he’d dislocated his hip from your escape to the cabin! Oh Gods, the shameful look Madja gave him!” An equally drunk Rhysand joined the pile on, the maroon in your cheeks heating as the group laughed. A sudden sharp scrape of wood on slate silenced the table as Elaine stood, glaring between Azriel and you before storming away, Azriel hot on her heels. 

“Gods, good thing I didn’t mention the time in the war camp-” “Okay! That’s enough stories!” Mor came to your rescue again, but your eyes stayed focused on the door Azriel had just run through. You looked around the table of faces, then as they all examined you as if you were a wounded deer, before you stood to follow the storming couple. 

“THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE, AZRIEL! DISGUSTING!” You heard Elaine shouting before you saw them. You stayed back in the shadow of a tall supporting pillar, watching the two at the end of the hallway, unable to tear yourself away from the sight of them.

“Elaine, c’mon like YNN said, it was years ago!”

“Stop calling her that name! You should have no warmth towards that serving wench!” “Elaine, stop, you’re not being fair! She’s been our friend for years!” Azriel raised his arms to stop Elaine from storming away, corralling her at the end of the hall. 

“No! She was your fuck buddy and its unacceptable that she’s still in your life!” You pressed your back into the cold stone wall, doing absolutely everything in your power to not spring off the stone and clober her, how dare she boil your relationship with Azriel down to just that. Unless that’s all Azriel had led her to believe that it was? 

“Stop, stop speaking about her like that, please!” Azriel took a slightly sharper tone, but it was still nothing to the level you felt she deserved. You suddenly felt the cool, familiar caress of Azriel’s shadows swirling around your ankles, they almost began to leap in recognition. You shushed them, softly scolding them, but they remained. 

“You need to stop seeing her” Elaine finally said after a moment or two of silence.

“Wh-what?”

“Azriel, we have the chance to be everything, I’m asking you to stay away from that bar slut if you ever want everything to come through!” She practically bit out, her hands in fists at her sides. You exhaled sharply, finally having had enough as you attempted to spring from the wall, Azriel’s shadows keeping you in place. You heard Azriel release a defeated breath. 

“F-fine” he said so softly you thought you misheard it entirely. Elaine beamed brightly again, delighted to have owned the protest. She squeezed Azriel’s arm before bouncing back down the hallway to the dinner, so lost in her success, she didn’t spot you quietly boiling in the shadow. 

You emerged from the shade as soon as the door to the dining room latched closed. You watch Azriel at the end of the hallway, head hung in shame. 

“Fuck buddy huh?” You almost whispered, leaning one shoulder on the pillar you once hid behind, your voice giving Azriel a small fright. 

“You-you heard that?” He sank his hands into his pockets, doing his best not to remind you of the itchy gloves that dawned on them. 

“It’s okay Az, you don’t need to say anything…after all that’s happened I still just want you to be happy and-and that girl in that dress shaped like a pastry could be it” You said with a weak smile, Azriel closing in to you as you pushed back from the pillar.

“I don’t want to lose you YNN” “Your girlfriend said stop calling me that” You whispered, stepping back to put air between the shrinking space. Azriel’s head dipped for a second before looking back at you. 

“Azriel! C’mon!” the two of you heard Elaine’s voice through the heavy door, your cue to exit. 

“I don’t want any more hurt or fighting between us Az, I want this to be easy for you, I want you to be so stupidly fucking happy and this could be it…tell Feyre I’ll speak to her during the week, bye Az” You every so lightly brushed a soft kiss on his cheek before stepping away from him and into the depths of the castle. 

—---

“Maybe we could ship her off to sea?” “I don’t think Feyre would appreciate that, Cass” Rhysand laughed as he looked through the forgotten files of the House of Wind library.  The brothers frequently found Azriel and Elaine's relationship to be the topic of conversation lately. It had been 2 months since Feyre’s birthday, and their hope for Azriel returning to his normal self was dying out. In the months since, the Spymaster was losing his spark, instead replacing it with seesawing between unbridled rage and deepest depression, everyone but Elaine worried sick. 

“What are you two doing down here?” Azriel’s voice gave his two brothers a small shock, Cassian dropped the file he clutched. 

“We’re trying to clear through some space, Nesta wants a sex room” A file flew past Rhysand's head at his comments.

“No..we already have one of those, this is for her books” Cassian defended proudly. 

“Books filled with sex, same difference” Rhysand laughed, a smile grew slightly on Azriel’s mouth before it sank away again. He then quietly began helping his brothers go through the files. 

“Wh-what’s this, is this what I think it is?” Cassian held up a tattered shred of paper, long family lines scrawled across, black blotches inking out the portraits of the names beneath them. 

“Is that..Holy Shit! Az, this is your family tree! Your family's birth records!” Rhysand snatched the file from Cassian to inspect and find the best news he could for his brother. Azriel had all but given up on finding any family from his mother's side, settling that in his mind but this, this could lead to a whole new world for him. Azriel took the folder carefully and then almost frantically devoured the information within. 

“Fucking hell! This-this is insane, I have to go tell YNN-oh wait” The action died in his movements, Cassian and Rhysand looking sympathetically at their brother. 

“Az… you should be allowed to talk to who you want… especially YNN, she was your best friend”

“Ahem!” “Leave it Cass” Rhysand shoved the General playfully, Azriel’s eyes still fixed on the folder. 

“I-I can’t deal with this right now” “Az wait-” it was too late, the Spymaster sank into shadow. 

-

Azriel materialised onto the Velarian streets. He found himself walking down the cobbled road to clear his head, anything to absorb the information he had just gotten. It was great news, he was so excited and yet had no one to share it with, not really anyway. His friends would be so supportive and thrilled for him, but he knew no one would come close to how ecstatic you would be. The sound of a familiar laugh snapped him out of his thoughts, where he then saw Elaine laughing as she and Nesta strolled up the street towards him. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but maybe he just wasn’t ready for her to shoot holes in his hopes just yet. He quickly ducked into the next building he could to avoid her.

“We’re closed!” You called from a crouched position behind the bar as you restocked the lower shelves, the scrape of a stool sending you upright. 

“I said we’re clos- oh, Az…you probably shouldn’t be here, Elain wouldn’t like it-” You slowly put down the stock you held, happy the bar kept space between you as you examined the Shadowsinger's wild eyes. “-Hey are you-are you okay Az?” You found yourself rushing to step out from behind the bar as Azriel looked like the weight of the world might crush him to death. Your soft hands braced his shoulders. 

“Az, tell me, what’s wrong?” he finally looked into your eyes, a true smile painting his face for the first time in months, settling the anxiety in your throat. 

“We found my family tree, my lineage, written down at the bottom of some rotten box in the depths of the library… YNN I have a family” His eyes began to glisten with the hopeful words he shared with you. 

“Oh my Gods, Azriel! That’s amazing!” You couldn’t help yourself then; you pulled him into you, his heavy arms swaddling you deeply in a hug. You felt his smile against your hair as he breathed in your scent, your face buried in his chest. You both stood there for comfortable moments, swaddled in familiarity. 

“You should go get them! Show me, I want to see, we gotta plan your trip to meet them! Just like we always hoped to do together someday” You pulled back, begging your eyes to not leave the threatening tear fall down your face. 

“Y-yeah, we should, we should do that” Azriel gave you a sad smile, and for once, he decided to ignore the Elaine of it all and just do what he wanted, and this was it. 

“I’m not opening here for another hour so, go go get them!” You laughed lightly, wiping the stray happy tear from your cheek as he stepped back. He then nodded happily before running out the door back to the street. You watched, hands on your hips with the biggest smile in the world, as he dashed up the street, forgetting he could just winnow there in all his excitement. 

Azriel, in his exhilaration, wasn’t entirely watching where he was going, crashing into the back of Elaine as she said goodbye to Nesta, who stayed in the cafe. 

“Oh sweetie! What's the rush!” She laughed, gripping his shoulders to hold them both upright. 

“I-I found my family tree! I’m going to meet my family!” He beamed, and she returned the smile, pulling him into a hug. 

“Az, that’s great that's-” she took a deep inhale, your scent clinging to the fabric of his jacket “-why-why do you smell like…like her”

“Oh, I-I it-it must have happened when she hugged me, I told her the news, isn’t it great I’m going to have real relatives!” His smile was stolen from him as a recognisable glare grew across her face. 

“You told her before you told me!” Elaine put icy distance between them, disgust now spewn across her face. Azriel had had enough. 

“That’s not the point, Elaine, I didn’t mean to tell her before you… It just happened that way! C’mon, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that I have a living fam-” “No. What matters is that you went and saw that beer-slinging bitch after I explicable forbade it!” She barked, drawing some sideways glances from passersby, heat rising to the back of Azriel’s neck. 

“Stop. Stop talking about her like that! It’s time to get over that, Elaine. I need YNN in my life, I miss her, and that doesn’t need to mean anything more than that, okay! We’ve talked about finding my family for decades, this is important to both of us! Can’t you just put aside these feelings and support me, be happy for me” He searched her eyes for any glimpse of the female he once thought she was before becoming entangled with her. It now clear she never existed. 

“No.” 

—---------------

You swiped a rag across a mahogany table across from the bar, humming with elation at Azriel’s news, alone in the bar until opening, the creak of the door hinges dragging you from your cleaning. Azriel stood in the doorway in all the shadowy glory he was known for. The Spymaster practically took two steps at a time as he closed the distance between you, snatching the rag from you and throwing it any which way. 

“Az, what the fuck?” You laughed in confusion, Azriel’s eyes examining the movement ever so carefully. 

“Tell me stop” You stopped laughing at his almost stony words, raising an eyebrow to him as his gloved hand touched your side beneath your t-shirt, pulling you gently into his heat. 

“Tell me to stop” he repeated cautiously, and you found yourself shaking your head no as you looked into his hazel eyes, which seemed almost lit with fear, before he leaned down and connected his lips to yours. It had been almost 52 years since you two had kissed, all of that time shrinking into nothing; it was as if no time had passed at all. 

“Tell me to stop, tell me you still hate me” he rasped out between frantic kisses. 

“I never hated you Az, and I am never going to tell you to stop this” You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck, his hands burying into your waist as if afraid you’d dissolve without his touch. You looked down then, still seeing the cloth on his digits. You stepped back briefly, cold rattling through his bones. 

“I can’t believe she’d want this” You pulled off his gloves, his skin irritated from the scratchy wool he rarely took off. 

“It doesn’t matter what she wants, we’re over, we never should have started. I’ve only ever wanted you and 50 years ago, when I stupidly, drunkenly gave into the anger I felt towards the world for losing Rhysand and icing you out and shouting at you when you were only trying to help and letting that stupid fucking nobody kiss me all I still wanted was you. I’ll never not be sorry and I want you to tell me to stop so that we can find our way back to friends” His words sank into your skin as you realised you never really were as angry at him as you let on, you were angry at yourself for not trusting that he was sorry from the beginning, sorry for sacrificing all those years together to stay on the lonely high horse you’d isolated yourself with. 

“Is that all you want from me, to be friends?” You tried your best not to let the heartbreak rattle out through your voice.

“YNN, I want all of you, in any and all sense, in whatever way you’ll allow me” A gasping breath left you the moment his now bare hands grabbed your hips again, with your arms returning to around his neck. Azriel carefully backed the two of you up until you were pressed into the wall adjacent to the long forgotten booth you were cleaning. His hands slid down from your hips to cup your ass as he bent down slightly to get a better grip, lifting you from the ground until your back was flush with the wall. Your hands clutch the material of his shirt, afraid to let go of him and the movement. 

Briefly, his hand left your side, your legs gripping him tighter as he sent the searching hand outward for the door handle he knew had to be somewhere. Success. The door of the stock room opened with a creak, Azriel separating from your mouth to bury himself in your neck while he carried you into the room. You let out a whimper at the feeling of his teeth marbling your neck, marking you as his.

“I missed that fucking sound so much” he said against your heated skin.

“You’ll be hearing it for the rest of your life” You laughed breathlessly, running your hands from his shoulders to his hair, scruffing away that awful gelled hairstyle you knew he hated.

“I should be so lucky” He claimed the spot until dapples decorated your skin, the feeling of him hard against you was driving you crazy quickly and he damn well knew it. He dropped you gently down on top of a hip-high crate of wine. Cool air flushed against your chest as you separated his eyes had turned lustful, your hand reaching and grazing his bulge, gaining a slight groan from him.

“Azriel” you couldn’t help but moan out at the feeling of him beneath the fabric, it nearly sending him over the edge at the sound. He quickly yanked his shirt from over his head in one swift movement before pulling your trousers from you, leaving you bare on the table before him. His hand traced up your torso as you watched the painfully slow movements until he sank to his knees at the edge of the crate. You leaned up on your elbows, your legs dangling over the edge of the box, before he tucked his hands beneath your knees, gently forcing a bend in them before they fell open to the side, where you swear you saw the Illyrain drool before you. You were close to begging him to touch you, and as if he heard your thought, he immediately applied pressure to you with his hand, your pulse nearly hitting the roof, the feeling of his rough but delicate fingers entering you, massaging you as they slide to your core. You couldn’t help but dig your nails into his bare shoulders, riding his thrusting fingers as he groans at the sight. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful YN, show me what I’ve been missing” The moan was trapped in your throat as he shot up, connecting again with your lips in ferocious desperate need for you, sending you crashing over in insurmountable pleasure. He couldn’t tear his hazel eyes from the storms of gratification swirling in yours. 

Your legs shook as you edged closer again to the edge of the crate, your hand finding the buckle of Azriel’s belt, the beautiful thud from the sound of his trousers hitting the floor filling the cupboard, along with your shallow breathing. You nearly went over the edge again at the feeling of him free in your hands. Azriel practically snatched you from the make-shift counter, back into his strong arms, your legs tangling around him again, he backed you against the wall across from the door, stepping over fallen stock from the surrounding shelves.

Azriel slowly inched into you, allowing you to adjust to the massive length of him, your nails digging into his shoulders in the glorious pain you missed with every cell in your body. Azriel raised a hand above your head to support himself, his other hand wrapped around your waist with a serpent-like grip before he began to rock back and forth with unbridled power. Your nails raked up his back at the growing speed, your growing moans spurring him on. Azriels wings splayed out to balance himself, your hand found itself tracing gently the spines, sending gratifying shivers down Azriels back. 

“Mine, fucking all mine” was all he could manage through rasping breath but it was enough, enough to send the tightening band in your abdomen to its absolute limits. It’s overwhelming, all-encompassing, and it's Azriel, the full picture of what was happening, sending you bolting towards your second release. You forced your eyes open just in time to witness Azriel unravel and burst with what could only be described as a primal roar, filling you to your limits. 

Azriel pressed his forehead into yours, you both breathing in one another's shallow breaths, shaking with the power of the events that just happened. Azriel managed to straighten his strained and weary legs enough to gently drop you back to your own feet. 

“I-I didn’t even get my top off” You found yourself laughing breathlessly, Azriel joining.

“There’ll be time for that-” he looked at you, practically glowing at him “-and thank fuck for that” he chuckled, retriving your trousers for you to slip into as he did the same. You took your time getting dressed again together, neither able to stop laughing at the brilliant absurdity of the day. 

“Well, hello there” Cassain's voice caught you and Azriel off guard as you stumbled out of the supply cupboard. You looked at the jug in his hand he held over the width of the bar, Rhysand on the other side with his head practically under the tap. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” You said, hands on your hips, at the two Illyrians who looked like they were caught with their hand in the cookie jar. 

“We should say the same to you” Cassian quickly quipped, gesturing to your hand in Azriels, neither of you realising you had done that. 

“Will you be giving Lucien a turn in the store cupboard?” Cassian laughed at Rhysand, and you swear you heard a growl from the Spymaster. 

“The two of you better have your wallets with you!” “Is that what you said to Az before you brought him in there? What's the going rate at this bar turned brothel?” 

“Shut the fuck up” You rolled your eyes at Cassians joking turn, moving to shoo him away as you stepped behind the bar to Rhysand. The two of you laughed as you fought for control of the tap, Azriel sitting at the bar top alongside Cassian. 

“I know that look” Cassain smiled at his long-time best friend as Rhysand passed him a pint while you scowled him for the mess he had made of the floor behind the bar.“Yeah?” “And I am so happy to see it back” he gently clicked his pint against Azriel’s, who could only grin.

----------

“We meet the owner and then we go, that was the plan” he said clearly as Mor tipped the remainder of her drink into her mouth. The warning came too late, Mor took hold of the two Illryians hands attempting to pull them to the dance floor, only Cassian going willingly. 

“No, no, I’ll wait for the contact, you two can dance” he laughed, Mor shrugging her shoulders without care and dragging Cassian to dance. Azriel nodded his head gently to the lively music as the room began to grow with more and more people, the music changing perfectly to match the swelling energy of the bustling crowd. The band had the room in their hand as Azriel ordered another drink, practically the only person not on the dance floor. 

“Can I get the same again?” He asked to the small fae behind the bar. While watching her make his drink, the sound of a quiet alarm rang in his ears, his shadows beginning to swirl slightly in alarm. Azriel then noticed all the staff behind the bar seemingly slip something into their ears, he turned on his heel and watched the band do the same, all without disrupting the crowd's feverish dancing. The fae slid the tumbler along the bartop on a small pink napkin before taking payment and returning to her work. Azriel quickly took the napkin, ripping sections off into little makeshift earplugs he jammed into his ears while scanning the crowd for his chosen family. 

“Welcome everybody! We here at The Glamour Gallery know you can’t wait to bask in the stylings of the incomparable, indescribably, irreplaceable, Circe!” The crowd erupted in cheers, Azriel still frantically scanning the room as his shadows lept to more energy than before. 

A low smoke filled the floor of the stage as you were raised up through a platform in the stage, one hand raised and the other gripping the microphone, the room somehow even louder than before. The moonstone shimmering slip dress you swirled is reflected in the stage lights like the moon itself. 

“Oh Hi!” You gave a little wave with your fingertips to the wild crowd. Azriel couldn’t take his eyes off you, everyone but the staff shared the same feeling. You launched into an upbeat song, the crowd utterly enamoured as Azriel felt glued to the floor, unable to move while watching you. The lively song flowed from one to the other until you arrived at your final song. 

“Well, we have arrived at the end of our show-” the crowd booed, the lights in the room lowering, a single spotlight falling on you “-but I bet you have time for one more song!” You grinned from ear to ear before placing the microphone on the stand. You lightly gripped the stand two silver bracelets glinting in the light before one clear low note left you, the crowd stopping its wild partying to lock full focus onto you, feet affixed to the spot. You sang without the accompaniment of the band, the slow almost eerie song that flowed from you had the whole room fixated on every glorious note. 

Azriel was the only one other than staff who seemed to be able to move his feet from the spot. His shadows swirled around his chin, to his ears, in an attempt to block them more than the tissue paper could. The sound of your voice was intoxicating, pulling air out of the room to replace it with the sound of delicate notes. 

With one final whisper of the last remaining note, the lights in the room came back up as you raised your arms to shoulder height. The trance on the crowd seemingly coming to an end as you took a deep bow, the crowd erupting into cheers again. The platform that raised you began to sink again, dipping you beyond view beneath the stage leaving the band to erupt into a cheerful tune once again. Azriel watched the staff remove their earplugs allowing him to feel comfortable to do the same. 

“Wasn’t she absolutely world-altering!” Cassian found Azriel’s side, snatching his unsipped drink from the bar top and downing the lot, a light mist of sweat from dancing painted on his brow. 

“Do you guys… feel okay?” Azriel couldn’t shake the feeling he was missing something massive as Mor came laughing to their side, raising a hand to order another drink.

“I hope this meeting goes well, I want to come here every Saturday!” She beamed, Azriel’s eye snagging on a tall broad fae cutting through the crowd with ease. 

“I think we’re about to find out” Azriel gestured with his chin to the foreboding male. 

“Welcome Night Court, I am Dayle, forgive my tardiness, I thought you’d enjoy our wonderful Circe” “Oh, we absolutely did!” Cassian couldn’t contain his excitement at the mention of your performance, one of Azriel’s shadows nipped his ankle in warning. 

“That’s great General, now please follow me to my private quarters” the male grinned, it unsettling something the the shadowsingers bones, his family seemingly unfazed. 

-

The meeting was not going to plan for the Night Court and Azriel couldn’t seem to make sense of the unusual compliance that came from Cassain and Mor. The plan was to discuss the whereabouts of the Koschei’s battalions located in the seasonal courts and somewhere along the way the discussion of trade came up. 

“So I think we are agreed, the Night Court taverns will supply our premium liquor and discontinue any non-Night Court competition” Dayle tented his fingers together, delighted the meeting with the infamous Court was going his way. 

“I still think-”

“We are agreed” Mor and Cassian cut Azriel off in unison before Dayle skillfully changed the subject to other possible trade routes before they could go back on their word. Azriel felt a headache growing, deciding he needed air from the suddenly suffocating room. 

“I’m going to call this meeting to a break” He stood, the table all staring, the hands of Dayle's armed guards traipsing over their weapons. 

“We can continue without you while you freshen up” Dayle declared.

“Well-” “Yeah Azriel, go and come back when you’re ready, we got it” Mor beamed, Cassian nodded in agreement. The uncanny valley energy from the two made Azriel’s skin crawl and he felt he needed space from them to figure out what was going on. 

Azriel rushed through the club's basement, looking for the exit, his shadows leaping ahead of him before abruptly stopping at a solid oak door. The shadowsinger practically skid on his heels in front of the door, a key hanging from the lock. Something compelled Azriel to unlock the heavy door, stepping into the darkened room, one single window in the corner of the basement. It was like a small self-contained apartment, a rack of various gowns hung delicately next to a decadent dresser. 

The shadows leapt towards one of the two other doors in the room, eager to cross. Azriel took careful steps over plush blush rugs, bypassing the four-post bed that looked untouched. He carefully pulled back the door revealing a room dug into the bedrock beneath the club, strong smells of salt radiated from the deep rockpool in the centre of the cave-like room.

Azriel whipped around on his heels, raising a hand to block a frying pan as it swung for the back of his head. You shrieked as he deflected you with ease, swinging a leg out to kick him square in his crotch. For the countless times that day, Azriel cursed the suit he wore as he crouched to the ground in pain.

“Who are you and how did you get down here!?” You barked, wielding the frying pan like a sword towards a breathless Azriel. 

“S-sorry I was looking for the-the exit-” Azriel looked up through his eyelashes to the rim of the pan “-what was the plan, fry me a breakfast that would give me heart disease and then just wait?” He laughed lightly before rising. For a second time that day, the wind was knocked out of him, his eyes landing on your shimmering silver-grey ones, you broke the gaze, stepping back from him. 

“I don’t believe you, who are you? Some stalker?” You put a hand on your hip, one of your silver bracelets clinking off the handle of the frying pan as you lowered it. 

“No, although I’d imagine you have quite a few after a performance like that” 

“What do you want? An autograph?” You span from him, striding over to your dresser and pulling a signed picture from the drawer, Azriel following you closely. He looked down at the headshot, something vacant from your eyes and he found himself laughing. 

“Gods, some ego you have”

“Ego? What other excuse have you for breaking into my room? If you're not a pervert then you’re a superfan?”

“And those are my only options?” He laughed again, watching you set down the frying pan, your two hands find your hips. 

“Pain in the ass might also work in this case” You smirked, sinking to sit on the bench of your vanity. 

“I’m here from the Night Court” Azriel watched you stiffen, the usual garnered response but something different danced across your eyes.

“Oh…and you saw my show?” “Conceted much? But yes I saw your show, quite a response you can get from the crowd, I suppose that’s why you’re paid the big money” He laughed, but watched you flinch slightly from his words. 

“Look, you should go before they find out you’re in here, Dayle isn’t one to like to share” You crossed your legs, fighting the urge to play with your bracelets. 

“And you belong to him?” He grinned until you turned from him to face the mirror, brushing through your hair with a soft brush, dismissing the shadowsinger. 

“Okay then princess, I’ll leave you to your pampering” He tucked his hands into his pocket as he reached the door. You met his eyes in the mirror as he looked over his shoulders until you span back to him before standing. 

“Tell me, what is your business with Dayle?”

“Court business” he shrugged as you crossed the floor to the doorway, Azriel just about crossing the threshold of the hallway.

“Okay well… don’t sign anything and next time you meet make sure it isn’t here” “And risk missing another one of your glamorous shows?” he scoffed, your eyes rolling. 

“No, just trust me” “Trust you? You’re a lounge singer for some sketchy male, how am I trust you?”

“I’m the only one you can trust in here Shadowsinger” You smirked, closing the door in Azriel’s face before he could question how you knew him. 

-

The remainder of the meeting was Azriel deflecting further agreements much to the whole table's annoyance. 

“I think we’ve reached an impasse, perhaps we should continue this meeting another time?” Dayle swirled his goblet of deep maroon before swallowing the remains. Azriel agreed as he stood, his family joining him, their faces somewhat pale. 

“You’re welcome to come back next Saturday and we will try this meeting again”

Azriel cut off the eagerness of his friends before it could begin again “No no, how about you come to the Night Court? We are holding an event in Hewn City next Saturday, please come and allow us to host you with the same courtesy you have shown us tonight” Your warning echoed in Azriel’s head as he made his invitation, he would do everything he could to never have to come back here again. After a few moments of silence, it was agreed that the next venue would be on home turf.

-

The next week Azriel took a small sip from his tumbler, delighted to be allowed to wear his leathers in his home court. Feyre and Rhysand sat upon their dais, surveying their Court with pride. The event combined the solar courts in one place, with hopes that information the three had gathered in Winter could be shared with the close allies. A thud of a door swinging open bounced off the rock walls as Dayle and his associates entered in their familiar over-the-top fashion. Azriel’s eye roll was stopped mid-way as his gaze landed on you, two large escorts on either side of you, a dress of long fine glittering gold hanging from your shoulders, your head dipped in submission. Azriel made short work of the walk to the dais, in time to hear Dayle's introduction to the High Lord and Lady. 

“Thank you for your warm welcome and continued business” Dayle sank into a shallow bow, Rhysand furrowing his bow. 

“Yes, I was told of the trade offers that were made to you on behalf of my court, Further discussion will be needed” Cassian fixed his eyes to the ground under Rhysand’s sharp tone, trying to block out the argument Mor, Rhysand and himself had gotten into when they returned home. 

“Yes, wonderful agreements were made and in thanks, I have brought my lovely Circe here to perform for you all!” Dayle gestured towards you with a swooping arm, indicating for you to step forward. You did so reluctantly, lifting your head to meet the eyes of the most feared High Lord in all of Prythain, but it was his Shadowsinger who you wanted to avoid the gaze of. 

“Lovely-” Feyre gave you a soft but powerful smile before gesturing towards the band “-they will accompany your singing, Mor and Cassian spoke very highly of you”

“Thank you very much my lady-” you took a deep bow “-but I prefer to sing without music” The two raised an eyebrow at you as you rose again. Azriel stepped forward offering his hand for you to take, which you took reluctantly. 

“Let me show you the stage” He said through gritted teeth as he guided you away from your guards.

“What exactly is the aim here?” Azriel said under a hushed breath, tightening his grip on your arm. 

“I’m here to sing, you’ll all listen, that tends to be the whole schtick” You smirked, Azriel stopping to spin you to face him at the foot of the stage. 

“How did you know me the last day?” “The whole wings and slinky shadows kinda gave you away” You laughed, a hand finding your hip before you took a big step up to the stage. Azriel huffed, moving to leave you “Azriel wait” you said quietly, he turned reluctantly to catch a small cardboard box in his hands, opening it to reveal small orange seashells, he only raised an eyebrow. 

“Put them in your ears when I sing, don’t let them see you do it-” he went to question you further but you cut him off “-just do it if you insist on staying for the performance” and with that you found centre stage. 

“Hello everyone, my name is Circe and I am delighted to perform for you tonight, a ballad of unity and allyship, all which we want here tonight” A persona overtook you as you spoke, making Azriel’s blood boil. A low haunting note echoed from your voice the moment you were confident you had everyones attention, Azriel shoving the shells into his ears before hearing you continue.

A similar phenomenon as last week began, everyone took to the dance floor to watch, all but the males you arrived with who hung out in the wings. He attempted to make his way through the crowd to where Feyre and Rhysand swayed but the crowd had got too big too fast and he struggled to even get halfway. You continued your haunting song until one last high note painted the walls of the ballroom. The crowd erupted with cheers as you took a deep bow before gesturing for the band to start playing. At the sound of their first note, you leapt from the short stage and followed close to Azriel, a hand falling on his shoulder. 

“Azriel, ask me to dance” You gave a panicked order, your guards beginning to cross the crowded dance floor towards the two of you. Azriel raised an eyebrow but followed your eyeline to the large males and then took your hand. He delicately placed a hand on your waist as a lively waltz began to play from the orchestra, the crowd danced as if in a trance. 

“You have to get your High Lord and Lady out of here, don’t let them meet with him” you said under hushed breath, Azriel’s eyes widening as he attempted to let go of your hand, your grip tightening. 

“Not yet, they'll know I told you to wait until the end of the next song”

“Circe, what’s going on?” you seemingly flinched at his use of that name. 

“My name is YN, not Circe, don’t ask too many questions” “What? Who are you?” “That's a question” You locked a steely gaze on him but it did not shake him. 

“Answer me” Azriel stepped in closer concealing your words from your guards who struggled in the crowd. 

“Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” “Two things can be true” he grinned, allowing himself to be lost for a moment in your mirror-like eyes and you laughed, a genuine laugh, Azriel desperate to hear the sound again. 

“So you are a superfan?” “I’m a fan of YN, not of Circe, she seems fake” he admitted daring for more information. 

“She is and that’s why you have to trust me and get your High Lord and Lady out of here” “What’s going to happen to them?” he questioned you as he swirled you with the music. 

“It's what’s already happened to them” 

“What? What did they do to them?” “Actually-” you looked down to your feet as they moved with the music “- it was me, what I did to them” The song ended and you released Azriel, stepping back to the edge of the dancefloor as the next song began. 

“Wait YN!” He reached back for you only to see one of the large males from earlier reach your side, burning his fingertips into the side of your arm. Azriel could feel his blood boil at the sight of your discomfort but before he could intervene Dayle was at his side. 

“Hello Spymaster, enjoy the show?” 

“Life changing really, earth moving” Azriel did his best to mimic Cassian and Mor from last week, his eyes not leaving yours as they pleaded with him to not make a scene. 

“Excellent, now I believe there's business to attend to” a sickly grin painted the giant male's face as he gestured towards the door they had entered. Azriel turned to find Feyre and Rhysand still dancing, Mor and Cassian joining the revelry. 

“I’ll be one moment” Azriel rushed from Dayle to his family where he pleaded with them to leave the party, their glazed eyes meeting his. The sight turned Azriel’s stomach as he looked around the room for help, only to see you being reprimanded in the corner of the room. He knew they must have seen you speak with one another, certain punishment to come.

Azriel didn’t have any more pleas in him, instead just grabbed his friend's hands and winnowed out, your warning unnerving him to no end. By the time he winnowed back to get you, you and your cohort were gone. He then decided that for the rest of his time, he would choose you over his role in the Night Court, a promise he thought he’d never make to anyone.

-

“So, it's agreed, we get the information, we get out. We don’t eat or drink anything and we don’t see any show” Azriel agreed with Cassain as Mor joined their side, once again back at the Glamour Gallery. They still had to seek information on the battalions and this time they were all laser-focused and arrived unannounced at the Lounge. Dayle was furious at their abrupt arrival, and even more furious when the three refused to watch your rehearsal. Sat around a large oak table, a stalemate in negotiations had been reached, with Mor leading the charge as fiercely as Azriel knew she could. A wave of unease washed over Azriel, his shadows pulling at the ends of his leathers beneath the table, willing him to follow. 

“I must go to the bathroom!” Azriel announced abruptly, cutting across Mor’s sharp tone to her annoyance. 

“Okay…we’ll escort you” Dayle nodded to the tall male stood behind Azriel’s chair. 

“That’s okay… I’ll winnow home…I’d eh I’d prefer that” Cassian tried not to laugh as Azriel dissolved into shadows. 

The thud of Azriel’s boots filled the empty hall outside your room, he scanned the hallway before ducking inside your locked room. The room was dimly lit, the rack of your dresses thrown asunder, the lights of your vanity flickering. Azriel called your name quietly, it echoing off the empty room, his shadows racing ahead to the door into the room with the saltwater pool. Azriel looked to see the blush carpet stained with a deep red and indigo, the four-post bed disrupted, a chill rattling down Azriel’s spine as he slowly pulled open the other door. 

“Y-N… what the fuck!” Azriel bolted towards your slack body, like a sunken log in the forest alongside a drained pool. He rolled you over gently, your face tinged blue, limbs too weak to sit up in his told, your mauve blood covering your lips and collar bones, forever staining the pearl colour slip dress on your weakening body. 

“W-water” You managed, a frail limb managing to point to the empty pool. Azriel felt centuries of emergency training leave his brain at the sight of you. 

“I’ll go to the tap, don’t move!” He went to gently lay you back, only to have your feeble grip cling to him. 

“N-no sssea” 

“The sea?” Confusion coloured Azriel as he pulled you up into his arms as he stood, without a second thought, he attempted to winnow you both out of there, failing. 

“I-I can’t leave with-without key” You used the last remains of your energy to lightly jingle your two wrists, the silver bracelets rattling off of your bones. 

“He’s keeping you prisoner? He has the key?” you nodded subtly, springing Azriel into action. He gently placed you down on the dishevelled bed before winnowing back to the meeting room.

“Az!” Mor shouted as Azriel pinned Dayle to the wall, his body cracking the plaster as Azriel slammed him into it. 

“Any of you move and I kill him!” He barked, removing Truth Teller from his thigh and pressing it into Dayle's throat, a single drop of his blood running down the gleaming silver. 

“Where’s the key?” he chewed out, veins in his hands popping with rage and pressure that he held Dayle with. 

“What key Az?” 

“He knows Cass, he knows what key” A sickly twisted smirk grew on Dayle's face at Azriel’s words. 

“Ah my lovely Circe has gotten to you” he choked out, Azriel jostling him slightly.

“The key” he demanded. 

“You’re not the first to fall for the siren's song to the point of insanity” Siren. You were a siren, the realisation rushed to him, the saltwater pool, the indigo blood, the small orange sea shells, the captivating voice. 

“Oh? She didn’t tell you?” a weak but twisted laugh left Dayle, Azriel applying more pressure. 

“Where’s the key, I won’t ask again” Dayle's hand went slowly to his wrist, pulling his cufflink off,  the smallest silver key Azriel had ever seen formed from its metal. 

“Good boy” and then Azriel sliced, the spray of maroon covering the front of his leathers as Dayle's blood splattered him. Before Dayle reached the ground, Azriel released three more blades with a swift turn, killing the three guards in the room. 

“This is not the diplomacy we should aim for!”

“Really Mor, this is the kind I aim for-” Cassain laughed “-what’s with the sudden violence Az-Az?” But he was gone. 

-

The waves of the Velaris bay were rough and foamy, a storm setting in for the night as Azriel landed you both on the shore. He clung to your body as he stepped into the freezing cold waves, bracing for the rush of endorphins the freezing water would bring. He walked until you were fully submerged, past where the waves broke to where it was calm. The water glowed on contact with your wounds, sealing the slits on contact, your eyes flickering open at the taste of the salty water on your lips. 

“Th-thank you” You breathed, releasing your arms from around his neck to float in the water. 

“So, a siren? I thought you guys were extinct?”

“Just made me more valuable to Dayle, I was going to tell you, I'm sorry” You made waves with your arms as you floated on your back. 

“It's been centuries since I’ve been in the real sea” you gushed, submerging fully before meeting Azriel’s eyes, then noticing the swirl of red in the water around him. 

“Are you hurt?” Your hand met his cheek softly, scanning him for wounds. 

“That's Dayles, he won’t come for you here, he won’t come for anyone anywhere actually” He laughed a little macabre laugh, your hand falling to his shoulder. 

“Thank you, Azriel, how could I ever repay you?” “Live your life YN…and never sing for my family again” he laughed more cheerfully this time, a smile dashing across your face. 

“Deal” you smiled, putting out your hand to shake his. The contact beneath the water felt electric, helping you to feel alive again. 

“Just come back and visit me” he said sadly and you nodded moving to force yourself to swim away. 

“YN…before you go, can you, can you sing for me?” the question caught you off guard, no one willingly wanted a sirens song, it normally certain death or full control handed over. 

“I would never Azriel, you’re the one person I don’t want to hear my song”

“I want to know all of you” Azriel pulled you back against his chest, captivating your mouth with his. His warm lips tasted the salt on yours, drinking in every and all flow of energy. Your arms stretched around his neck as he found your waist, anchoring him to you. 

“Hey if you two are finished playing mermaids, we gotta go clean up Azzies little mess!” Cassian called from the shore, tucking himself further into his leather jacket, the bitting wind nipping him. 

“I don’t ever want to be finished playing with you” Azriel whispered, taking your hand beneath the water as you both began to wade to the shore. 

“I knew you were a super fan”

--------------------------------

“Shouldn’t you be part of the other swans?” You asked boldly, your hood still slightly obscuring your full face, a smirk dashing for a moment across Azriel’s face. 

“Not my style, besides, who would keep an eye on the ones who normally avoid all observation?” 

“I know know what you’re implying sir” You did your best impression of the confused damsel, the type you were sure Azriel spent countless nights with before you turned away to head into the flowing crowd, the royal four now nearly at the exit of the port marketplace. Azriel caught hold of your wrist, the leather of his glove crinkling under the light pressure on your skin. You turned to watch him lift your own hand between you both, his eyes falling on the toughened skin before sweeping away your hood. Azriel swallowed what gasp rose in his throat, trying to stay with his feet on the shore as your marine blue eyes seemed to flicker back iridescence. 

“A seafarer?” He questioned gesturing with his head to your waterworn digits. 

“I dabbled briefly” You lied, taking your hand back from him and a step to put some distance between you. 

“What brings you to shore? You don’t seem to have a stall here? Or not one that I see that hasn’t recoiled on sight of you?” He quizzed, the mystery prickling along every nerve. 

“Maybe I’m a tough of a boss?” 

“I don’t doubt that somehow” he laughed as you fought to not show your offense. 

“I have no business with the Night Court right now, no cause for this line of questioning” You bristled, turning your back on the Illyrian and striding away, the end of the dock in sight. You thought of your contact waiting beneath the boardwalk, you unable to meet him with the Night Court’s Spymaster breathing down your neck. 

“Interesting how you said right now. What previous business had you with my cour?t” He called out to you, stopping you in your tracks. You balled your face into a knot, rookie rookie mistake you cursed yourself. The sound of the rising tide crashed beneath the tall boardwalk. Beneath the gnarly warped boards, you could make out the silhouette of your contact, gently swaying back and forth between the slats of the wood. The end of the unfenced dock now a mere metre away.

“I meant… I’m always open to business with all courts, perhaps we have business to agree to down the line” You lied again, the business you occupied yourself with would never be agreed to by any Court inner sanctum. 

“I somehow doubt the business you deal with would be in the interest of my Court unless it is to stop it?” Azriel’s voice danced the line between playful and arrogant ease similar to that of a cat with a cornered mouse. 

“I spoke out of line sir, I have nothing to offer anyone, I was simply shopping for wares for presents” You decided to change tacts entirely. 

“And the large bag of rare gems and crystals you have in your shoe, is that the payment for these invisible presents?” 

“How di-” You cut off your own question, Azriel’s eyes fully aligned with the thrill of the catch, he would have to try harder to catch you. You scoffed, your face changing from faux concerned cornered damsel to the hardened confidence in your ability that years of trade had given you. Your hands clasped together in front of you before you clapped slowly, the action seemingly catching the Illyrian off guard. 

“Nice catch, tell me is your outfit fully leather?” the question surprised Azriel, his eyes looking down briefly.

“Are you a fashion consultant now?” 

“No no, just making an observation, you seem so fond of those” You rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet, ever so softly inching your way to the edge of the dock. 

“And what observation is that?”

“Quite a heavy material when it's wet” Azriel didn’t have time to further question you before your foot slammed harshly down on the rotting board, Azriel narrowly but nimbly dodging the gap created by the crumbling plank, its reminisce crashing into the swirling tide 20 feet below. 

“Cute, any other party tricks?” Azriel straightened himself. 

“Just one” You saluted him with two fingers against your forehead before once again surprising the Illyrian and launching yourself backwards off the dock to freefall into the rushing wild tide below. Azriel ran to the edge of the dock, foamy white circles fizzed around your entry point into the water. The heel of Azriel’s ankle slipped from his boot as he prepared to follow you the moment you came up from the air. Except you didn’t. He waited and counted to at least 2 minutes before planting his foot back into the boot. Azriel looked out towards the growing swell in the ocean where he squinted to bring the very distant hazy grey outline. He couldn’t understand how you had made it so far, so fast, clearly at home in the crispy sea. 

“Azriel, if you’re gonna off yourself you have to at least warn me so I can get a jumpstart on the funeral speech” Rhysand laughed from behind the Spymaster, his voice making Azriel jump slightly, the sight of it confusing Rhysand. 

“Hey you okay?” Rhysand clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder, ever so gently guiding his friend back from the edge of the dock. 

“Yeah I eh..” He couldn’t find the words.

“Oh Azzie I know that look, well keep it in your pants, we’re here to get the book and go, I’m sure you can find someone just as fun at home” Rhysand laughed, turning Azriel’s body away from the edge of the dock, guiding him back up the boardwalk. Azriel took one more quick glance, no longer able to make out your distant shadow. 

—--------------------------------------

Azriel cursed every moment of his life that led him to this one that he shared with Feyre and Amren. This was the Spymaster's ultimate nightmare as the floods of endless water crashed into the chamber room, Feyre seemingly having a psychotic breakdown while clinging to the Book of Breathings. Every nerve was screaming at Azriel to entirely freak out but watching Feyre struggle with whatever the Book was giving her kept his head between his shoulders. As quickly as the water flooded in, the pulling force wrapped around the friends and tugged. Feyre and Amren seemingly had a silent discussion that pulled the three through the smothering water. 

The first swallow of salty air was choked down by the three as the wraiths pulled them upward through the blasted door, the dehydrating water still keeping a tight hold on Azriel. Alarms blared in any and all directions as Rhysand clearly had his own trials during the retrieval of the book. Wraiths suddenly squabbled over Azriel, their sharp talon like nails clawing along his wings, his yelps drowned out by the waves. Swelling currents pulled and pulled as the wraiths clung to Amren out of fear and Feyre out of repayment of debt leaving Azriel to fend for himself against the violent washes of water. Azriel had felt all his energy sapped by the fight for air inside the chamber being challenged again by the pulling force of the water. Out of bloodshot eyes, he saw the wraiths successfully bring his friends to shore until he could no longer fight the fray and instead allowed it to sweep him out. 

—--------------

Azriel’s face was swollen in the colours of choking purple and blue as his lungs fought to cough up the swallowed seawater. He felt his bones sink into the water-swollen wood of the ship he found himself hauled up onto. The sound of his body being dragged along the wood rattled against the strong gusts of wind. 

“Well, who did you piss off this time?” You laughed down towards the greying Spymaster as he tried to blink you into focus. He could only groan in reply before you jerked your head to the side, the large males dragging him across the deck continued their course, tossing him into the bowels of the ship. A smaller fae quickly clasped heavy chains on him, energy stores still depleted from the fight with nature. 

Azriel couldn’t tell if it had been minutes, hours or days since he had arrived on board the next time he woke up. He took in the musty surroundings, unable to detect any other living creatures in the room with him.

“I told you leather was a heavy material when wet” You smirked from atop the beam above Azriel before jumping down to land in front of him. 

“Remind me to take the fashion advice next time” Azriel rasped out, his throat raw from the salt. You circled him briefly before retrieving a tray from a darkened corner of the room, the swells of the wave lifting and dropping the boat in a natural rhythm, it never throwing off your stride. You placed the tray down by his side as he squared off his hips to sit upright on the sodden wooden floor. 

“Drink” You half ordered, Azriel looking from the liquid lifeline to your eyes of equal colour. 

“To have you poison me?” he scoffed. 

“The salt in your system will do that work for me if you don’t drink” Azriel looked back down at the water, weighing up the options before deciding to take it with a heavy chained hand. The water tasted of pure light itself as you watched him carefully swallow it all while attempting not to drool yourself. Another swell hit the side of the ship, causing Azriel to fall to his side. 

“You’re going to want to find your sea legs soon Leathers if you want to be able to keep your lunch down” You laughed, removing a cloth from the tray to reveal a thick, nutritious stew. 

“Where are we going?” He managed, trying his best to keep his sickly grey cheeks from turning green. 

“We're chucking you out closer to home, a courtesy” you squatted down to his eye level, drawing his amber eyes into meet you. 

“Why?”

“What can I say, I don't love the drama it loves me” you laughed standing again, pushing the tray closer to him with your foot. 

“Real answer” the stew bubbled in the dish, punctuating Azriels words. 

“I fish a prize out of the ocean, I'm going to collect”

“Aw you think I'm a prize” Azriel batted his eyelashes in faux flirtation, righting himself. You squatted back down, catching his chin lightly and to his own surprise he allowed you. 

“No, but the High Lord of endless wealth does” you let him go with a jerk. 

“Now eat, we've a few stops to make” You left him to his thoughts. 

-

Azriel picked at the food, before falling in and out of a state of pure exhaustion, it had been at least 3 days since he was sent out to sea. He gave into the food after 72hrs of deciding whether or not it was poison until it's filling nature sent him to as comfortable sleep. Azriel woke to the feeling a cool liquid dripping down his wings.

“Don't touch me” he jerked his wings out of your reach, the cloth going slack in your hand. 

“Listen here Leathers, either the wounds are cleaned or you lose the wings” You bit, Azriel weighing up your words, the cuts the wraiths left fighting to heel under his diminished energy. 

“Fine, do it yourself” You wrung out the cloth before dropping it to his side.

“Why do you care?” The thought rattled around Azriels head for the hours you had left him in the dark, he had to try to find the answer. He reached for the cloth, dripping the liquid down what wounds he could reach under the constraints of the chain. 

“You're less valuable to me dead” You lied, trying your best to ignore the cuts he missed. You ran your tongue across your teeth, and Azriel took note of your inspection. 

“Seems you care an awful lot about someone you see only as monetary gain” he smirked, unable to hide how your interest made him feel. He then proceeded to miss the wounds on purpose until you finally snapped, whipping the cloth from hands. 

“Just let me!” You snapped harshly and then met his wing with surprising tenderness. Azriel watched you from the corner of his eye, afraid to blink and you'd disappear. 

“Damn wraiths” you whispered, the deep claw marks fighting against the healing solution. 

“The way you swim, I thought you might be one yourself” You met his eyes with a grin, the cloth slipping from your hand. 

“Don't belittle me like that Spymaster-” Azriels eyebrow raised again at your coy response “-yeah I knew the moment I met you who you were and how much it drives you crazy that you have no idea who I am”

“I'm piecing it together” he said softly, watching you trace your eyes over his wings. Veins of opal and midnight blue liquid leaked from your hand, flowing over the deeper marks and sealing the shut-on contact.

“And more pieces fall” Azriel said, watching in amazement. You brought a finger to your lip and whispered shh, a banging then coming from behind.

“Captain, we're here” a burly voice came from the door, you stood before they could see what you were doing. 

“Business to attend” You grinned down, wiping your hands on your trousers and leaving Azriel once again.

—------

The boat soon after began to rock again, Azriel still not finding comfort in the waves. He tried to map out mentally the course you had taken him and why his family had yet to appear and save him. He knew the importance of the Book of Breathings and its vitality in a successful mission but he thought he was equally as vital. The swells rocked the boat to almost vomit-inducing levels as it reached the peaking waves of the thick sea once again.

On the main deck you glided with ease, your whole crew used to wild seas and never wanting to change any part of them. A long day of scouting out treasures and seeking payment for your protection had you staring up at the ceiling of your cabin, contemplating it all. The rush of waves hitting the solid oak of the massive ship sent you to welcome sleep shortly, the whole ship falling into well-earned rest after a day of various activities. Hours later you woke with the feeling of a true unfamiliar sickness. You ran quickly to the private washroom adjacent to your room, your skin a sickly green colour, your body at the will of the ocean for the first time in centuries. 

“What the fuck?” you said to yourself before wrapping a cloak around you and heading to the deck. Stray waves washed over the rim, flooding the deck as your crew fought with the sails, waves almost as tall as them made an attempt to claim a prize. You raised a stray hand, deflecting the walls of water from any serious damage, still unable to fight off the full feeling of sea sickness. You were always one with the ocean, allowing it to reek it havoc but keeping it from toppling the ship. The boat rocked nearly level to its starboard side before you willed the water to keep the mast from tilting, your crew ever happy to have a master of the elements at the helm. 

“Just keep the fucking sails straight” You barked, your crew scrambling to obey as lightning cracked across the sky, illuminating the flooding deck, your stomach doing somersaults to match the movement. You rushed from the wheel down the decks again before entering into the depths of the ship, shielded from the rain. 

“For fuck sake, drink this before I vomit” You fired a small vile at the green Illyrian who caught it through his disorientation. Azriel always hated being at sea, doing his best to avoid it during his training and having a stark reminder of why now that he found himself at the centre of a colossal storm.

Azriel’s eyes locked on you as he fiddled with the lid of the bottle, he no longer cared if it was poison, if it ended the hellish seascape he’d drink it happily. Your eyes rolled like the waves before you made short work of the distance separating you both and in quick movement you separated the blade strapped to your thigh from its holder, sinking it into a miniscule chink in one of the chains on Azriel’s arm. You quickly hauled him upwards, the movement rattling his head to accompany the severe seasickness as you hauled him over to the side of the room. With your bare hands, you pulled the small wooden sheet nailed to the wall down, revealing a porthole. In a swift motion, you whipped it open, pressing Azriel’s face out into the swirling sea air. 

“There! See that line, thats the horizon, stay on that!” You barked at him, the ravenous waves crashing up to meet Azriels face through the hole as sea spray. He rocked from foot to foot, allowing his weight to rest in your strength as he found the horizon, nearly boring holes in it with his eyes as he focused.

“Just focus on the centre of your world Azriel, focus” You tried more softly this time, his name from you striking some deep nerve he always neglected. He caught as much air as he could before turning to lock eyes on you, colour drained from his face. 

“Not on me, the horizon!” You snapped, catching the back of his head and forcing it forward again. The curling, twisting sensation in your stomach was quickly replaced by a different sinking sensation. 

“Okay, okay, I’m okay” Azriel called out, your pressure releasing slightly on him, allowing him to sink back to the floorboards, one arm still tethered to the bowels of the ship. You followed his lead, sliding down the wall of the ship to meet his side. He curled his knees into his chest like he did as a child and you found your thumb tracing small soothing circles on the back of his hand before realising. He scanned you in almost horror, panting deep breaths into his lungs.

“That vein in your head is gonna pop if you keep thinking that hard” You found yourself laughing breathlessly, thankful for the end of the illness you so rarely felt. 

“Do you make this many visits to prisoners normally?”

“I guess you’ll never know, maybe this is how I am with all my guests” You rolled your head against the wall to look at him.

“An interesting way to treat your guests” He jingled the chains.

“Chains make it more fun” You whispered, the words rolling over his nerves like a wave at sea.

“More pieces, Captain” his rusty voice stopped your thoughts under his warm gaze.

“You’ll never have enough to understand”

“Oh yeah?” In one smooth movement, Azriel swerved his chained arm over his head, hooking it around your throat. He pulled until you found your back flush with his chest, his legs like vice grips around you from behind as you dug your nails into the betraying chain. 

“Chains make it more fun-” He whispered into the crook of your neck, the hairs on your neck standing on their end “- Now tell me how you knew I was sick down here?! Have you spelled me?” He ordered, rolling his hands into tighter fists around the chain, ensuring you were fully at the will of its biting metal jaws. He released enough pressure for a life-saving gasp of air you took hungrily. 

“The-the same way you-you knew how to find me on-on the dock. How did you see m-e that day?” You rasped, Azriel allowed more slack on the chain as he thought, the answer rolling off his tongue like a rogue wave. 

“How could I not?” he admitted in a whisper, the only sound filling the room. 

“Then that is my same answer to you” You thought of the ways you could overpower him at this moment, the simple ways you could will the sea to save you and yet you didn’t. You weren’t ready to end this moment and you weren’t fully sure why, well not in a way that you’d admit to yourself yet.

“I just-I felt someone need me, call to me without a voice… I just saw you through it all” he realised aloud.

“People don’t usually”

“I thought you were a Captain, or was that just a pet name?” his head tilted in question, “I’m no ones pet” More tension was released from the chain, enough for you to put your fingers between it and your marbled throat.

“I bet I could change that” his warm breath coated your ear, some force pulling him forward until the full slack was released from his chain, it clattering to the floor along its captivated wrist, his other hand tracing along your chest to gently catch your chin. You felt your back relax further into your chest until you instinctively fell to the side allowing the Spymaster the access to your neck he desperately craved. Fresh, electrifying bittersweet pain rattled through your body as Azriel sank his teeth into your tender flesh, his chained hand anchoring you to his chest by curling tightly around your abdomen. You released the air from your lungs that felt as though it had been held forever. Azriel’s hand left your obedient chin to trace down your body, landing at the fraying waistband of your favourite sleep shorts. His thumb traced beneath the band, his nail skirting along your skin, a shiver shooting up your spine. 

“Tell me your name” He whispered with tantalizing ease. 

“YN” You replied, not often telling those outside the inner sanctum. 

“The name I’ll thank the sky for and wish on every star to hear” His hand finally sank beneath the elastic, stroking small circles to coat your throat in soft moans you fought to keep hold of. You could feel him against your backside, feel how much he wanted this and you and yet you didn’t want him to know the same about you. 

“For you, only you” He groaned, pressing further into you as if hearing your thoughts, a rewarding groan this time unable to be stopped from leaving you. As quickly as he had trapped you, you turned, hooking a leg over his to press him back into the deck, straddling either side of his waist, his chained arm clanking against the wood. Your hand traced his cheek and he allowed himself to rest against your palm, his wings relaxing outwards, the wraith marks on show. You felt rage boil beneath the surface at the sight of their claim to what you felt was yours. You lowered down to his mouth, eyes swirling into his as he drank your energy in. 

“I’ll kill them for hurting you”

“And I’ll do the same to those who look at you in any unkindness, or look at you at all, unworthy of the pleasure” His free hand found the nape of your neck, magnetic forces guiding you down until a wash of the purest release met you both in one another's lips. Nirvana. Then unrelenting hunger. Your mouth parted slightly causing him to eagerly take the invitation, his tongue conducting teasing strokes that you happily match. Your hands clutch the material of his shirt, afraid to let go of him and the movement.

“Land!!!” An unwelcome shout came from far above where the two of you were deep in entanglement. The voice of your second mate pulled you back from Azriel, who tried his best to not whine at the movement. You quickly shot from his grasp, retucking your shirt and pulling your damp hair to one shoulder. You looked frantically at the broken chain before darting to cover the porthole again. 

“What-what just happened?” Azriel asked, doing his best to stand.

“We just reached your drop off” You left a sad smile paint your face as Azriel bolted towards you, his chain dragging.

“But we-I just- we just-”

“I know but they’ll be expecting you and my crew will be expecting the payout I promised them when we diverted course to fish you from the sea” You caught his knotted hands in yours, the marks of your years of hard work melting into his of deepest cruelty. 

“Run with me, come with me, just don’t leave me” he found himself begging.

“This is my world, that’s yours, I don't have land legs just like you definitely don’t have sea legs-” you laughed “-besides, I don’t think we’ll be welcomed in this Court after our capture of one of the favourite children” You joked, your hand tracing his cheek. 

“YN, I’ll tell them the truth, tell them how you saved me, how you will save me in so so many ways” A knock came at the end of Azriel’s plea, your sign to say goodbye. 

“I’m sorry Azriel, my crew are my family and I owe them what they deserve” you stepped back outside the range of what his remaining chain would allow. You reluctantly opened the door, towering males like those who dragged him aboard entered, your back facing him unable to look. Azriel wasn’t sure what happened yet, wasn’t even sure he cared. 

—------

“Is he dead?” Azriel heard Nesta through the screeching song of overhead seabirds. He rolled onto his back, the sharp sun scratching his retinas after a few days in the dark.

“Azriel!” His friends said in unison, helping him to sit up in the soft sand. 

“They didn’t drop you where they said, sorry it took so long to get to you” Feyre smiled, dusting the sand from his hair as Rhysand and Cassian scanned the horizon for any semblance of your ship, long long gone. 

—-----------------

The following weeks were rough for the whole Night Court, all unsure of their next moves to save their world from Hybern. Countless nights watching the bay allowed Azriel time to devise plans and hatch ideas. All paths lead to you more so than success against Hybern. 

That Starfall his family rejoiced in their full reunion, their first in 50 years and yet Azriel still felt a missing part of him, it cast out to sea. He watched Rhysand take Feyre by the hand up the stairs, a smile decorating his face at his brother's deserved happiness. His rusty coloured liquor reflected the moon, the party danced around him, the noise of it all not enough to drown out what he felt was a call he had to answer. 

Azriel landed on the shores of Velaris, the hidden home he’d die for, thinking about the hidden love he’d do the same for. An idea pinged into his head at the sight of Velaris residents releasing lanterns from passing canoes. 

Without full coherence, Azriel found himself rowing a small dingy of a boat out of the Velaris port. He dug deep against the slowly growing waves, the House Of Wind and it’s gleaming party lights in the growing distance. He rowed until he could no longer see his home over the crests of the waves before he stood on rattling legs and found the bow of the small boat. With one deep breath, Azriel swan dived into the crystal clear depths, allowing it to overwhelm him and pull him down. Cautiously, Azriel opened his eyes beneath the water, adjusting to he burn before swimming deeper. Lactic acid began to build in his muscles and beg him not to swim deeper into the pressure of the unforgiving water. Black blots inked across his vision as the darkening water began to overwhelm his system once again until right before blacking out an arm wrapped around him. 

“You have to be fucking kidding me” Was the first thing Azriel heard you say in weeks as you both breached the surface. He almost howled with laughter and exhilaration of his near-death experience and seeing you again. 

“I-I knew you’d come” he rasped out in giddy excitement. 

“Risky game Leathers” You laughed until he kissed you, the lapping water supporting you both. Overhead the sky began to fill with lights on their journey, reflecting off the water with pure light but in that moment Azriel knew that even the darkest night would be illuminated by you.

---------------------------------

-

Your eyes hardly flickered, beads of sweat wiped with a cloth from your forehead as various fae shuffled around the room in frantic fear of Azriel’s stern orders. You groaned lightly, the pain remaining and the heat only having lessened slightly no doubt owed to the concoction of fluids Madja and her team plied you with. 

“Am-am I dead?” You managed, eyes unable to open fully. 

“No, love. We don’t know what’s wrong, but we’ll help you.” Azriel’s soft words were followed by a glare at the panicked-looking healer team, which couldn’t seem to figure out what was happening. 

“I-I think it's the appen-appendix” You attempted to sit up, Azriel gently guiding you back down.

“What? What is that love? Do we need to banish it? Poison it?” He sank to his knees at your bedside, running his thumb over your hand in soothing circles as you gave a gentle smile.

“Out-it needs to come out- I’ll get sep-sepsis” 

“Who is that? Can I get him now to fix you?” You gave the weakest of smiles. You’d die at the hands of medieval magic medicine, but at least you’d die with your love by your side. You fought the dark pull of sleepiness, its taunting comfort calling to you to dance with it, to stay with it. Rhysand burst through the door, boxes of supplies and tinctures in hand, Madja looking grateful but hopeless.

“Try these!” Nesta called over Rhysand’s shoulder, Cassian and Feyre holding multiple other elaborate glass bottles. 

“I’m afraid we’ve tried all those” Azriel’s head whipped up from your direction to Madja’s melancholy voice, the look of a female who had exhausted the resources available to her. 

“No” Tears rimmed Azriel’s eyes, looking back to you, waiting for a witty comment or comforting word, only a greying pasty complexion looked back. 

“Well we could… no I’m not sure” “What Nesta!?” Azriel sprang to his feet, looking to the eldest Archehon like she was the answer to all his pleas. 

“Well Azriel we could… we could send her home? Other world disease, other world solution?” Nesta shuffled from one foot to the other, an unusual discomfort in her own skin radiating as Cassian shared a concerned look with Rhysand. 

“But-but what if you send her in the wrong place? Or what if-what if she can’t come back?” He looked amongst the four, all of which didn’t want to answer but Rhysand finally filled the airspace. 

“She will die here Az”

“And what if she dies there?” his voice rattled.

“Then at least she can die knowing everything possible was done for her, we should want that for her” Cassian added softly, taking hold of one of Azriel’s shoulders in his hand. The healer team looked amongst themselves before looking to their leader to speak. 

“She hasn’t got much longer, we must decide” Madja spoke with a kind firmness that Azriel knew so well. 

“Fine, but I go with her” “Azriel” The four friends spoke in unison, being cut off by Azriel’s raised hand. 

“You would not allow your mates to go alone, YN is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a mate, perhaps she is my mate but the human stuff is getting in the way, I don't know. Regardless, I will accompany her to her end, no matter what way that may present itself. Get Amren right away, Nesta and her will send us together” With the orders of the Spymaster the inner circle reluctantly went about the necessary preparations, fully unsure if this would even work or simply kill you both on conjuring. It didn’t matter to Azriel, in every reality he’d lose you and in every reality he would stay with you. 

“Az how do we know when to try to pull you back?” Feyre did her best to hide her worry but it was easily read by her friends. Azriel took a moment to think, he didn’t know how time worked in our realm or how his friends would find him, all he knew is he had to get you to help.

“Your birthday Feyre, I’ll be home to help you blow out the candles” He hugged her tightly before doing the same to Cassian and Rhysand, the three ignoring that this could be goodbye forever.  

“Until we meet again” Were Azriel’s final words to his friends before he took your weakened body in his arms, Feyre sliding a filled satchel over a shoulder as Amren and Nesta circled around you both. Blinding light followed. 

-

The thud of his boots on the solid oak floors of a mildew-covered yet cosy dorm room echoed off the picture-covered walls. Azriel felt like he might vomit, never one to enjoy being at the will of Nesta’s power. He took an unbalanced step, realising that his wings had seemingly vanished from his back, the feeling turning his already upset stomach on its head. He clutched your body into him, taking in the room that held the same scent as your hoodie he loved so much, your home, it calming him. Your deep groan skyrocketed him back into reality as he took unsure steps out of your room and into the fluorescent-lit hallway. Every cell of Azriel’s body was screaming at him to freak out, a feeling he hadn’t felt since a child of utter uselessness towards his own outcome. 

“Eh, hello?” He whipped around to the small voice of an even smaller woman as she stood toothbrush and shower caddy in hand. Azriel couldn’t find his voice, the whole situation was overwhelming. 

“YN?” A man called from behind the girl as he ran towards the both of you. Azriel instinctively pulled you from his grasp. 

“Cammy call an ambulance!” The man shouted and the small girl ran for the phone.

“Look buddy, I don’t know who you are but you’re going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with my YN” The male snapped, managing to take your weight in his arms as pure shock rattled through Azriel. What? What? What? Bounced around the head of the Illyrian as your weight began to go fully limp in the man's arms.

The next 40 minutes were a complete whirlwind that Azriel couldn’t find his voice in. The ambulance swept you all away, the male close behind in his car.  The whole vehicle experience nevermind the beeping alarms within the ambulance cabin making Azriel feel fully out to sea.  The next thing Azriel could comprehend he was being refused entry to the emergency bay, being forced to sit alongside the man in yet another fluorescent hallway. 

“This has been a crazy fucking month” Azriel heard the man whisper under his breath. 

“Thanks for finding YN-” Azriel sat up straighter, subconsciously puffing out his chest at the sound of your name on another males tongue “-I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble, she gets kinda crazy around exam season, I’m Damien” Damien outstretched a hand that Azriel did not take, only refocusing his gaze on the double doors they took you through. The two sat in awkward silence for nearly three hours until a doctor returned to meet them. 

“Well, we got very lucky, we got to her before any serious damage could be done, she's awake now if you want to see h-” Azriel stood before she could finish the sentence, bursting through the cursed double doors to find you, a small rattling intern leading the way to your room where you sat still groggy in the bed. 

“Az” You gave a weak smile, morphine still flooding your system, the realisation of who you saw then sending you further upright in the bed. 

“Az! What the fuck!?” You half shouted half laughed as he rushed to hug you into him, burying his head into your hair, taking deep breaths of the scent he loved so much. 

“YN, I was so afraid” his voice hoarse from the somewhat vow of silence he had taken since arriving. You pushed him back, your hands wiping across his chiselled cheeks as you touched your forehead on his. He ran a hand up your arm, it catching on the IV.

“What is this?” he looked, taking in the sterile environment. 

“Fluid, it's okay, it doesn't hurt. I can’t believe I’m back here, that you’re here!” 

“YN you’re alive!” Damien's voice came from the doorway, sending Azriel back to his ironing board-like posture. He gave you a gentle hug under the scrutinising eyes of Azriel, your cheeks blushing. 

“Damien I-I can’t believe you’re here?” “Can’t believe I’m here? You go awol for a month and then show up in the arms of this guy” Damien looked judgingly towards Azriel, arms tucked across his chest. Your sense of time was completely lost, you had been gone at least 6 months, had that translated as a month in this realm, the physics side of your brain was hurting. 

“Visiting time is over” a burly nurse saved you from responding.

“I go nowhere without her” Azriel replied, the nurse only raising an eyebrow. 

“C’mon Leathers, I’ll give you a lift back to the dorms” Damien replied bitterly, digging through his pockets for his keys. 

“I doubt your puny muscles could carry me” Azriel whispered to no one in particular, you smiled gently.

“Go Az, stay in my room and one of my friends can bring you back to me tomorrow” You gave your best reassuring smile but met the doubtful face of the Illyrian. You leaned across the bed, beckoning him in to hear your whisper 

“Az, trust me, an ICU nurse makes a naga look like a kitten” you grinned, Azriel shooting upright again, looking to the nurse with a respectful fear before kissing the top of your head and following Damien out. 

Sat into the small Ford, Azriel dug what training he could to remain calm within another metal cage, this time the alarms absent. 

“So, how'd you meet YN?” Damien broke the 5 minutes of dead air in the car, Azriels hand finding the handle above the door to cling to as Damien indicated onto a busy road.

“Not the ‘Jesus Christ we're going to die’ panic handle” Damien laughed at the sight, Azriel now using all training you had given him to read between the lines and not ask a silly question, he would save those for you. 

“Well?” Damien tried again.

“She sort of…fell into my life” Azriel buried a grin, white knuckles growing across the handle.

“She has a tendency to do that, hard to saddle that one” he laughed, Azriel now glaring.

“She's not an animal she-”

“-oh dude I know, I get it, feminism woo-” Damien raised a sarcastic fist before returning it to the wheel “-but some women are meant to be left wild” he laughed, Azriel not returning the sentiment.

“So called ‘wild women’ are revered where I come from” he bit, Damien pulling up outside the building Azriel had hazy memories of landing in. 

“And where is it you're from?” Damien raised an eyebrow, Azriel finding the door handle to allow air in.

“Somewhere YN will never need to bow to feeble insecure males” were his final words shared before exiting the car. 

Azriel found your room again with some difficulty but was happy to find the door still open from the rush of excitement earlier in the night. The room felt like you, your photos and books and brilliance across every inch of the space. Azriel sat on the edge of the bed, taking it all in before the flood of sea he was thrown in overwhelmed him. Tears freely flowed down his cheeks, his hands knotting through his hair as the stress of it all reached boiling point before he fell back into the bed and allowed himself to be overtaken by the near miss you both had tonight. Sleep quickly stole away the cries.

—--

“Az, get your filthy shoes off my bed” You laughed from the doorway, skyrocketing the Illyrian upright, a daze of confusion to follow.

“YN!” He ran to you, swaddling you in his arms once again as you leaned into him. 

“I-I just closed my eyes? How are you here already? How are you feeling” A rush of questions separated you both again.

“I wouldn't think too much about the time thing, it'll rot your brain sweetie-” you pulled from him, throwing down the jacket you had left Prythian wearing “-I got sent home, they said they've never seen someone heal so fast from halfway to death, those treatments from Madja must have worked wonders after surgery, I feel a lot better” you sat down on the bed, Azriel still trying to work his way through the time difference. 

“YN I was so scared, I really thought you were going to leave me” “I can’t believe you’re here with me, in some ways I think I must still be in an infection-fueled catatonic state-” You looked at Azriel, his head tilted in confusion like when a dog hears the word walkies “- nevermind, I believe it, as much as I can’t, I chose to believe this is real” You smiled, eyes then landing on his bear shoulders, Azriel seemingly shrinking under the gaze. 

“I know, wingless, how terribly odd, I feel like my balance is off” he laughed, a knocking coming to the door.

“She lives!” Damien beamed as you pulled open the chipping door. He squeezed you into a hug, the heat from Azriel’s eyes and your fresh stitches radiating through your body. 

“Hello Dam, thank you for bringing Azriel back here” 

“Oh it was no problem at all, me and ol Azills had a lovely chat” Damien clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder, a huff of air leaving his nostrils as he did. 

“Azriel will do just fine” he corrected.

“Nonsense buddy, you’re a friend now, c’mon we’re all going for lunch to celebrate your return from whatever place you were in” Damien left his side, taking your hand gently in his and leading you to the door.

-

Azriel crammed his figure into the back seat of the tiny Ford once again, trying his best to not glare holes into the back of Damien's head as he drove. 

“You’ll have to tell us all of the great mischiefs I’m sure you got into YNN” Damien almost lovingly tapped your knee before returning his hands to the steering wheel. 

“Not must mischief..” you trailed off, thinking of the great vast amounts of mischief you got up to in Prythian, all of which would land you in a psychiatric hospital if you tried to explain it to your friends. 

-

Azriel folded his shoulders like a deck chair, squishing as best he could into the booth of the large, dilapidated pub some miles from your residence.

“Do they only make furniture for the miniature in this city?” He asked you under his breath and you laughed lightly as Damien returned to the table accompanied by three of your closest friends. Azriel fought the urge to block his ears as you and your friends all squealed at the sight of one another. 

“I know, like howling dogs” Damien whispered across the table to Azriel as you swaddled your friends in hugs. 

“You seem to have an affinity for referring to females as animals” he bit back, Damien rolling his eyes.

“Well hello there-” a red-headed female slid in alongside them, hand outstretched like a grand dame greeting a suitor “-let’s get properly acquainted” She playfully batted her eyelashes as you rolled your eyes. 

“Easy Georgie” Cassy, Azriel remembered from the corridor, slid alongside his new friend. Damien gestured with his head for you to sit alongside him, allowing Ellie, Azriel's final new friend, to cap off the bench at the end. 

“Tell us, tall dark and handsome, where are there more of you?” Georgie laughed, and your eyes looked down towards the menu burying a grin. 

“I am a dying breed, my brothers are all mated off” Azriel answered in a somewhat serious tone, eager to end the affections of this new female as a waitress filled your glasses with refreshing water.

“Now who’s obsessed with animal analogies” Damien shot back as you took a drink to cover your confusion.

“If I was I’d correctly identify you as a little bitch” You began to sputter on the water at Azriel’s comment.

“Oh my god it’s like the real housewives” Cammy laughed as Damien and Azriel began to stare one another down. 

“Okay okay enough of that” you coughed out, Damien rubbing your back to ease the deathly grip you faced for a second time in 48 hours, Azriel thought of all the ways he could have Damien taken care of, giving him comfort. 

Azriel pushed around his burger on the plate, nothing compared to the food of home and simply couldn’t stomach it.

“YN, I thought you weren’t going to date boys until you finished the degree?” Ellie asked between bites of salad. 

“Guess she went and found herself a man” Georgie laughed, the table other than Damien joining in. 

“Tough luck Damien” The three girls laughed loudly accompanying your nervous chuckle as Azriel examined the pair of you. Soon after more teasing you found yourself at the bar top, waiting for an order of the coffee you had had dreams about. 

“Hello love” Azriel joined your side, an arm wrapping tenderly around your waist, ever careful of the fresh stitches. 

“Having fun?” “Yeah, it’s nice to meet the people from your stories, although I don’t remember a pig-headed troll being part of any?” 

“Damien’s just being nice Az, maybe calling him a little bitch wasn’t the nicest thing you’ve done” you teasingly reprimanded him. “I call it as I see it” he proclaimed, observing the bar staff as they worked. 

“It's funny how no matter the realm, the tavern will survive in any form” he laughed, kissing the top of your head as a member of staff passed a cup into your hand. You retrieved your card from your pocket, Azriel raising a hand before digging through his own pockets and pulling out coins. 

“Az-” you tried but he had already placed the solid gold coins into the young staff member's hand.

“We don’t take Renaissance Fair money here buddy” 

“Why do people keep calling me buddy?” You laughed at him, tapping your card on the outstretched card machine, the beep signalling a successful payment. 

“What a strange place, a piece of…whatever that is containing all your wealth”

“Strange? A winged goblin takes my wages in a bank made of seashells at home and you think this is strange?” You laughed, taking a glorious sip of the coffee.

“You don’t think Gerry is helpful?” Azirel bemused as you rolled you eyes again.

“Gerry is the most helpful of anyone at home I suppose” Azriel beamed down towards your use of home, Valeris was still your home. You offered the drink to him and he took a regretful deep sip of the honey black liquid. His face contorted into shapes as the energetic liquid of life entered his system,

“Nice?” “I think Cassian’s dirt mixture was nicer” he winced out as you rolled your eyes. It wasn’t long before Azriel’s small sip of coffee had him bouncing off the walls with energy, so unused to the power of caffeine and colourings rife in our food. As the evening turned into night, the pub filled with college students ready to relax and the dance floor came to life. Georgie had the caffeine bursting Azriel quickly on his feet to swing around the dance floor with the other two girls, leaving you and Damien to chat in the booth. 

“Looking for that ring before Spring YNN?” He laughed into his pint as the back of your hand gently met his chest. He quickly caught hold of it to keep it there, beckoning you to turn to face him. 

“I could give it to you” he said quietly, barely audible over the booming music the was blowing Azriel’s mind some feet away. 

“Dam, stop” You smiled sadly, taking back your hand. 

“We were great together!” 

“We were fuck buddies” You laughed in surprise at his bold statement.

“Exactly!” He joined your laugh, a familiar playfulness falling back between you both. Azriel swirled Cammy around when a sudden creep of a sugar crash headache started to slide up from the nape of his neck. He released Cammy’s hand and apologised to the girl's pleas to stay as he made his way back to the booth. Through the sea of people, Azriel found his eyes land on you and Damien, looking ever so comfortable in the booth. He watched as Damien took a ring from your finger and placed it on the one where people's wedding bands on before he leaned in and whispered something into your ear. Azriel felt a wash of rage, it chasing away any semblance of a headache from him as he shoved his way through the crowd trying to find the door. Meanwhile, you began to laugh at the obscene idea that Damien would ever be the one you’d end up with, slipping your ring back to your thumb. You looked out to see the back of Azriel’s head exit through the door as you attempted to follow him, finding it a lot harder to break through the crowd than the broad Illyrian. 

Azriel stormed through the drizzle-drenched streets, crowds and crowds of people washing around him, the deafening buzz of overhead street lights had Azriel wondering how you weren’t all driven mad. He had no idea where he was, only that he wanted to go home to where things made sense and fluorescents were only found in the brightest flowers of Spring and not around every corner. The Spymaster stopped in front of an electrical goods shop, shut for the night but with the displays still on. Flashes of the news painted across the rectangular screen, more hypersonic buzzing radiating through the glass. Azriel watched in horror at the scenes of unrest, scenes of familiar trenches but with more gruesome otherworldly weapons. The sight turned his stomach, forcing his feet onward as pictures of the battlefield danced across his mind. He wandered off the step onto the road, a large SUV breaking harshly in front of him, blowing the bellowing horn in his direction, more incomparable noise. Azriel darted from the road, narrowingly missing being flattened by another SUV. This world was so noisy, so deafening he couldn’t understand you ever finding peace here. 

The rain picked up its hammering from a drizzle to a drum as his rain soden boots met the pavement with increasing weight. Even the weather was different here, somehow crueller than what he faced in the darkest of storms at home. Azriel felt out of control, overwhelmed in every sense of the word, swaddled by the choking of the deafening never-ending buzz of street lamps. He couldn’t find his way through the sea of nausea and people, people chattering into their little glowing boxes, tapping a deafening finger on the buzzing screens. Buzzing, so much buzzing, all Azriel could think of until he found his breath uneven, no match for the buzzing. His heavy hips met the step outside a jeweller, the quietest of buzzing but still pinging in his ears. Calloused hands dug into his face as he tried to bring his breathing back, unable to capture its elusiveness. 

“Az!” Your voice rose above the buzz, Azriel, lifting his head from his hands as you ran to him, the colour drained away from his cheeks. You caught him gently by the shoulders, his rattling bones bouncing off your rain-soaked sleeves. 

“C’mon love, it’s okay” You did your best to pull his weight up from the step, guiding the seemingly shellshocked Illyrian back the few blocks to your dorm, the buzzing never really easing but breath beginning to return. 

Once inside, you took his rain-soaked clothes from him, leaving him in just his undergarments before swaddling him in the duvet and guiding him down to the bed. The bone-rattling buzz continued inside your room, the maddening sound causing Azriel to claw at his ears. 

“What Az, what?” you pleaded. 

“It's so-so loud here!” he winced, eyes scrunched closed. You quickly darted around, unplugging everything, and shoving a pillow along the foot of the door to block the noise and light from outside. The motheaten curtains were quickly swooshed closed, soothing darkness swallowing the room until you lit a few candles to illuminate your bath back to Azriel as he lay in your bed. You discarded your own drenched clothing before sliding into the space alongside Azriel. His clammy skin clung to you as his arms wrapped around your waist. 

“That, that was horrible” he whispered into your hair. 

“I think you had a panic attack sweetie, a symptom of my realm” you nuzzled into his chest, eager to hear his heartbeat return to normal.

f

“Did I steal you away from your life here?” he questioned after a moment of comforting silence. He had seen you beam with joy many times since meeting you but never with the level of familiarity you seemed to have tonight.

“If you want to get technical, Nesta stole me” You chuckled softly before lifting to rest your chin on his peck and meet his eye. 

“Details” he grinned.

“The only thing you stole was my heart” You admitted sweetly before making a retching sound “ew gross feeeeeeeelings” you mocked, Azriel rolling his eyes before kissing you sweetly. 

“I bet Damien would have a few words to say about that” 

“Yeah well Damien is a little bitch” You smiled, Azriel looking as proud as ever. 

“My girl” he squeezed you tight.

“No one else’s”

-

For the following two weeks, you introduced the world a lot more softly to Azriel, with lots of breaks in the haven of safety from the buzz you had built in your room. Azriel began to see so many things right in this realm and challenged the wrong. He could see how someone could call this place home but it would never be his and he counted down what sense of time he could before you would return to his realm. Azriel’s bravery grew and one late one evening he ventured out alone into the world while you slept off a day of explaining how cars, debit cards, instant noodles and electric razors work. 

The street where all the deafening had occurred was silent, as the sun sinking banished the need for overhead street lamps. He wandered with more comfort down the street until he landed at the step that you had rescued him from, a neon sign glowing in the window of the shop. “Cash for gold” Azriel read allowed, an idea sounding off in his head. 

When you woke up to an empty bed, panic had stolen your voice as you began to haphazardly clothe yourself, your hand barely touching the door knob as Azriel strode in. 

“Gods Az, I thought you were gone on another rampage-” You smiled, taking the flowers he offered you “-these are lovely” you beamed. 

“YNN, I have a surprise for you” You raised an eyebrow as he came in, closing the door behind him. You watched him carefully cross the room, discarding the jacket you had bought for him in a charity shop, along with his other new clothing. You placed the delicate flowers on the dresser before turning to see a somewhat worried Illyrian.

“YNN, this is a strange world, filled with strange customs, but this is the custom I like the best-” “-yes”

“YN, I love you so much and I know we’ve only been officially together for a short time or a very long time, who can tell but-” “-yes” you mumbled in shock, Azriel not hearing you as he was wrapped up in anxiously delivering his speech. 

“-I just know you're supposed to be mine forever and-”

“-yes”

“-I will work harder for the life you deserve-”

“-yes”

“-because you deserve the moon and stars and I want to be the one to give them to you, in every and all realms, YNN, will you be with me forever” Azriel retrieved a ring of precious stones, dazzling rays of your favourite colour danced along the precious metal as he held it out to, where it met silence. 

“This is-this is where you answer, from what I’ve read” he mumbled after a moment, staving off the rising panic he wished to never feel again. 

“I said yes Az” Tears brimmed your cheeks as he launched forward for you, holding you so tight that it may burst your bones. 

“I love you so much YN, I don't know how I got so lucky to find you” he slipped the ring on gently, it fitting perfectly.

“I love you too Azriel” You kissed again, shielding each other from the chill of the night that leaked through the poorly insulated walls.

“I did contemplate pulling a Rhysand and have you face a beast to retrieve your own ring but I didn’t fancy trying to slip the ring under Nesta’s pillow while she slept” You laughed at him, gently hitting him into the chest, the gleam of the rings charm catching your eye.

“So now can we go get some sleep”

“I wasn't thinking of doing much sleeping tonight YN” he smirked and you returned the same, rolling your eyes.

“I don't know you didn't get down on one knee, kinda ruins it” You teased and he grinned biting his lip.

“Oh Gods I change my mind I can't be stuck with a Smart Ass for a wife the rest of my life”

“Wife” you repeated and it caused both of you to smile greatly, a tinge of sadness then panging through you. 

“What about finding your mate Az?” you looked from the stones to his jewel-like amber eyes.

“I found her” he kissed you deeply, draining any and all doubt from your bones. Forever was a long time but you looked forward to its endlessness with Azriel. 

------------------------

Your eyes dropped cautiously down to your side to your bag, trained nimbleness in your hands had you retrieving your fabric sheers, launching them immediately into the thigh of your current captor. A near-deafening roar was released alongside your other arm, the figure at the end of the alley instantly floored the other male with a wave of unseen power. 

You scurried down the alley in the opposite direction of the three, your hands covered in a fine layer of blood that you wiped on your trembling thighs. A flush of heat came from behind you as you reached the mouth of the alley. A curious glance had you witness your perpetrators turned to mounds of ash, the sight turning your stomach into waves of unease. The thought of meeting a similar fate had your feet moving again, only to come flush against a wall-like figure. 

“Where are you going? No thank you?” Eris towered in front of you, a self-satisfied smile scanning unbeknownst to you for any sign of injury.  

“I-um-than-k thank you, General” The words were a rush of syllables followed by a deep curtsey, before you move down the street again, eager to get away from the infamous male. You heard Eris scoff a laugh before he spoke again. 

“Well okay then Ice Princess, maybe next time I’ll leave you?” 

“Do you want a medal or something for doing the right thing?” Once again your tracks were stopped but this time by your own brazen words and the silence from behind you. Turning on the ball of your foot you reluctantly faced the future High Lord, his hands still in his pockets, lips pursed in thought. He could kill you for your insolence and no one would challenge him, you were not even sure anyone would notice you missing until their trousers reached their knees.

“Huh, cute-” He smirked, closing the distance between you in a few long strides “-maybe I do want a medal” You found yourself scoffing at his words, a small blaze seemingly igniting in his eyes at the sound. 

“Get in line, General” A certain playfulness danced in his eyes at your teasing tone, normally not the response he’d elicit from others. You could feel something subtly different in the air, something missing from the mountain’s mist. “Please, call me Eris, or Savouir, lady’s choice” He outstretched a hand you somewhat hesitantly took, not going unnoticed by the son of Autumn. You realised on contact that it was the everpresent chill that you felt that had made its exit from you, flushes of warmth heating your cells gently. Eris turned your hand over in his, scanning over the callouses and their tinge of fresh maroon. 

“A street fighter?” He laughed, eyes tracing the hardened skin. “Dressmaker, for the Night Court” You smiled, taking your hand back, missing the steady pulse of heat his fingers supplied.

“Laborious crowd” His laugh returned the missing warmth to your skin and you found yourself smiling back at the towering male.

“YN?” Your whole body shook at Lucien’s voice across the street, his arms full of freshly purchased supplies for his small apartment in the city. You looked between the two males as Lucien crossed the street to join your side, Eris’s smugness only growing. You and the Prince of Foxes were relatively new friends, his exit from the Spring Court required a whole new wardrobe that you skillfully made.

“Stay away from her Eris” “Oh brother, save us the martyr act” He sighed in almost boredom, amber gaze landing back on you where you could have sworn it softened, no matter how brief. That gentle element died when Lucien’s arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to his side. 

“Is that blood on you YN?!” the closer proximity opened you to Lucien’s full mother-hen inspection. 

“Yes it is but not hers, quite the vicious little thing you have here” The air of self-righteousness returned to Eris, his best shield to whatever was bubbling deep beneath. 

“Thimble, what happened?” You noticed Eris subtle flinch at Lucien’s pet name for you as he attempted to ignore his brother's presence altogether. You hated the nickname, it made you feel small, and inexperienced, despite being older than Lucien. It began when he remarked on the coarseness of your hands on his skin during a fitting, suggesting a thimble may stave off further damage. You would never see the point in covering what your years of experience had rewarded you with, the scars on your hands were evidence of a master at work, and a thimble would only hide away your efforts although that was a recurring theme for you in the Night Court you felt. 

“Thimble seems an odd nickname, aren’t they supposed to protect you from pricks? And yet here you are Lucien” Your head lowered slightly to hide the deep smirk growing across your face at Eris’s dig, Lucien unable to continue to ignore him.

“I’ll have you kn-” “-Lucien, we have to get back, I’m not finished with a dress” You cut across any possible rebuttal, eager to get out of the thick air between the two brothers, Lucien smiled softly at you before glaring back at Eris. You tilted your head to Eris again in an almost bow, twisting Lucien’s stomach as you began your fruitless journey back to Nesta. 

“Very good little lapdog Lucien, I’d watch her around scissors” He called after the two of you, his own amusement radiating from his voice. 

-

The ball was organised chaos at best, swelling music and overserved fae had you hiding out in the corner of the venue. Not your normal scene however Nesta had begged you to come, if only to witness your beautiful work in action. You had sacrificed one of Feyre’s many dresses as donor fabric to patch together what you could of Nesta’s outfit, neglecting to tell her that of course. 

“YN, this is so borrrrring” Nesta found you through the crowds, sneaking away from her role at the dais alongside her sister. It had been a few hours since the incident, a glass of wine only taking a sliver of the tension you felt about it from you. 

“Don’t worry Nesta, hopefully it won’t be much lo…” you trailed off, your eyes snagging on Eris across the vast dance floor as he both dazzled and terrified the participants in the conversation he held. 

“At least he’s not bad to look at” Nesta tilted her head to the side, inspecting her mission with curiosity as he glided through the crowd.

“Lucien says he’s torturous”

“Bet he’s good in bed” You elbowed her for her comment as she laughed, the whole conversation making you feel like giddy children.

“Perhaps he’ll make a good pallet cleanser from Cassian” she added. “Cassian who’s trying to melt him with his eyes right now, right?” You grinned, Nesta taking a stolen glance at the slowly boiling Illyrian. When Nesta wanted something, she got it and this very core defining personality trait of hers terrified you. You had been on board with the plan up until your own encounter with the heir and yet now you found yourself empathetic to Cassian’s jealousy, no matter how unfounded you felt it may be. The very voice that saved you earlier pulled your attention back into the room. 

“Hello again YN, I was wondering-” “-Who your friend is? Eris, have I really to remind you of my person” Nesta tone leeched a pure sultry decorum you would never be able to mirror. Her body stood slightly in front of you, a hand extended to reacquaint herself with the High Fae, new beats of jealousy pulsed in your veins as they made contact. Your skin crawled and boiled all at once, further tension only being added by Cassian's surveying across the floor. 

“Go find something to busy yourself with YN” Her voice was firm but said with a smile, forever toeing the line between friend and employer. You watched as Nesta masterfully led Eris to the dance floor and began to light the room ablaze with her ease of movement. The room watched on as the two slotted into one another like a lock and a key, your eyes landed on your shoes, anywhere but on the scene in front of you.

“C’mon dear friend, let's see your moves” You looked at the unfurled hand of your dear new friend in front of you, Lucien’s soft smile accompanying it. You laughed lightly as you allowed him to lead you to the dancefloor. 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather dance with Elain?”

“But I’d miss you stepping on my toes” he teased as your head tilted back and laughed, despite knowing the answer to your question was of course yes. Now and then while being swirled by the Prince of Foxes, your eyes would cross the path of Eris’s before Nesta stole back the attention. A successful mission up until Cassian’s jealousy could no longer be snuffed out.

—--------------------------------------------------

The gentle pitter-patter of drizzle off the window pane of your workspace filled the room, your hands busy at work, humming along to a tune you heard weeks ago while dancing with Lucien. Back home in the warmest of colds available to you, squirrelled away in mounds of fabric and projects. 

Your hands stilled at the din of distant shouting many floors up through the house. Often you’d ignore any rumblings from upstairs but the familiar sound of a male you’d spent your time trying to forget had your curious feet wandering in the direction of the source. 

“You’re incredulous!” “No, you are!” You peeked through the gap in the huge door that led to one of the grand dining rooms, the two brothers in a stand-off across the large oak table, Rhysand glaring between the two. 

“And you couldn’t have stopped our dear darling father from travelling to Briallyn’s continent?!” Lucien barked, the table shaking slightly. Cassian matched Lucien’s scowl towards Eris, who only allowed a sickly laugh to leave him. 

“And expose myself and this little alliance? I don’t think so little brother! Alec, our father's dear advisor is already getting too curious.” 

“Oh no, nothing to inconvenience yourself!” You flinched slightly at Lucien’s razor-like tone.

“I have inconvenienced myself every day for you!” Eris’s hand shot forward in a dramatic gesture, knocking the large goblet of wine across the table, soaking Lucien as he leapt up from the cold. 

“Fuck! You did that on purpose!” He reached for his napkin to blot the deep stain with no success, Eris now also standing in his own defence. 

“It was an accident, much like your birth, do as I did and make peace with it!” Eris grinned until Lucien swished a wrist, a small ball of flame leaving his fingertips, singeing the jacket and waistband of Eris’s immaculate suit. 

“Lucien!”

“It was an accident” Lucien mimicked, Rhysand now finding his own feet, feeling grateful not to have had any biological brothers.

“Enough! We must leave to meet the other High Lords in an hour and you two are squabbling like children! Lucien, go home and find a new pair of trousers-” Lucien very much looked the role of scolded schoolchild as he winnowed out before further reprimanding “- and you-” Rhysand turned full attention to Eris, who only rolled his shoulders back to accompany a raised eyebrow “-you go and find a curtain or something to wear because if you fuck this meeting up, I will kill you where you stand”

“Aww do you promise-” Eris batted his eyelashes in faux excitement “-I don’t take orders from you”

“Fine, go smelling like a bonfire, see if Rhys and I care” Cassian shot out. 

“Perhaps I left some clothes here after I visited with Nesta the other night” Cassian practically leapt from his chair, Rhysand catching hold of his forearm leaving Eris unshaken. 

“Eris, go be anywhere but here”

“I’d suggest down on your deathbed, I can help you” Cassian chewed out accompanying Rhysand’s order. 

“The only place I’d go down on is the lovely Nesta” Rhysand released Cassian in an instant, springing the warrior over the table, your instinct having you whip the door back on its hinges, the entrance stilling Cassian in confusion as he caught Eris’s collar. 

“I’ll help make something!” You rushed out, unsure of why you were eager to rescue Eris even if it gave away your eavesdropping. 

“YN, know your place” Rhysand warned.

“I mean- c’mon S-sir you have to leave soon and let's be honest, there’ll be questions about why a lord of fire is-is emm burned…or why his face is in pieces for that matter” You watched Cassian release the wrinkled collar, exhaling deeply and jump from the dining table to the floor before striding over to you. 

“At least stab him a few times with pins” 

“Deal” you laughed before standing aside in the doorway for Cassian and Rhysand to pass. 

-

After arriving at your workroom, a flush of self-conscious energy rushed you at the mess you had been living and working in, now under the scrutiny of the son of Autumn. Towers of discarded and active projects cast shadows along the stone of the space, his eyes inspecting the smaller details of the room as you pulled out fabric rolls from the wall. You couldn’t help but notice the warmth in the tall shadows not there previously, its addictive nature nipping at your skin.

“Jacket” You ordered, a hand out to take the sooty material, Eris obliging wholeheartedly, surprising even himself. He watched you inspect it closely, attempting to hide his wonder of you as you sighed. He thought how he would very much love to watch you work, how he may very well do anything you asked of him and how foreign that very feeling was. “Sloppy stitching, conjured I suppose not handmade?” He nodded in confirmation to your question, doing his best to hide his amazement at your assessment. 

“I don’t think this is your colour-” “-Excuse you, this green is one of my court colours, how can it not be my colour?” Eris' anger startled you, snapping you out of your dressmaker autopilot, remembering your company. “Sorry-I emm- not your tone shall we say” Your panicked voice was only silenced by a laugh from Eris.

“Just kidding YN, I’m not offended” “Just a prick” You whispered to yourself as you slipped a pin cushion over your wrist, Eris smiling from behind you. You pointed at the step riser in the corner of the room for Eris to stand on as you gathered your treasure trove of supplies. 

“Take off your trousers” You threaded the soft measuring tape through your fingers from behind him. 

“Not going to buy me dinner first?” He raised his eyebrow to you with a grin you felt that maybe not everyone got to see, his hands undoing what was left of the waistband before he shook off the fragile fabric, leaving him in his undergarments. You took a deep quiet breath before sinking to crouch alongside him, measuring the length of his leg.

“On your knees so soon” You stood instantly again, pushing him playfully, stilling almost as soon as you had moved. 

“Sorry I-” “-I won’t bite you YN, not unless you ask” he winked, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek begging your body not to grin back, instead just resuming your measurements. “I should have let Cassian kill you” You whispered by his calf as he looked down at you. 

“There she is, there’s who’s fun to play with” You could hear his smile, just as you took a pin from the holder strapped to your wrist, poking him into his ankle. He hissed, rolling his ankle slightly away from you as you stood again. 

“That was for the Nesta comments” You put the pin into the cuff of your sleeve, retrieving your scissors and cutting strips of a deep red fabric without the measure, all the knowledge within your head accompanied with years of skill. 

“I was just bored and the big bat is an easy target. I have no intentions of pursuing Lady Death, don’t be jealous” He watched you in the mirror as if afraid to blink and you’d disappear. You forced your focus closer to your cutting, Eris slipping from the step to stalk closer to you.

“Why would I be jealous? I don't even know you” “Odd, I feel like I know you… but regardless, I’d imagine you’d be jealous if your relationship with my darling brother isn’t all you want it to be” You whipped around to him in shock, scissors still in hand. Eris put his hands up in faux surrender while glancing at the scissors, your eyes rolling again, placing the instrument behind you. 

“What? Me and Lucien?” You laughed wholeheartedly, Eris tilting his head to the sound, stepping from the riser. 

“No?” “Now who’s jealous?” he only scoffed at you in reply. 

“Heirs do not get jealous, they get what they want” His somewhat serious tone sent a shiver down your spine, the distance seemingly shrinking between you.

“And what does this heir want?” “Hmm” he hummed leaning forward into the gap, that tempting heat pulling you towards him, every cell screaming for the temperature in your skin to increase, to meet with his, to reach inferno.

“YN, do you have a spare-what’s going on in here?” Lucien stood in the doorway, his suit jacket in his hand, a missing button by the collar. 

“Ever the best for timing dear brother” Eris squared his stance, turning to face his kin as you wished the earth to swallow you whole.

“Let's not get into it in front of the Lady.-” Lucien rolled his shoulders back, unshaken by the sharp tone of his brother “-Thimble, please could you reattach this button? It was the one I used magic to affix and you were right, it didn’t hold” You gave a soft smile, taking it from his hands, reluctantly crossing the path between the two. 

“Come, dear brother, leave my lovely YN to work” Lucien stood back in the doorway to leave space for Eris to pass. A rush of intense heat radiated from Eris at his brother's endearment towards you, his knuckles cracking as fists formed. 

“Won’t you need me for the rest of the fitting?” He looked at you, eyes asking you to beg him to stay.

“I-” “-YN is used to finishing projects down here without the muse, she works better alone right YN?” You nodded slightly at Lucien, his voice no longer toeing the line between friend and employer, the latter taking full effect. You sank back to your work table, tacking together the fabric as Lucien guided Eris away from you, Eris slipped back on the remnants of his trousers before reluctantly leaving. The cold rushed to your bones again as the faint sound of their bickering filled the halls. 

—-------------------------------

Two weeks later

Thoughts of Eris crossed your mind while looking down on the vast woodland of coppers and bronze through a window taller than him. The flickers of rust and chestnut hues pulled you towards them like a moth to flame. You had never been in an environment like it, so famously cold but surprisingly warming to your inner world. Beron had insisted on holding a dinner with Night Court in his home, still believing his trip to Briallyn’s continent was undiscovered. 

“Okay, we go, we hear what nonsense he’s peddling and we compare notes when we get home?” The Inner circle nodded in agreement to their High Lord as he knotted his cufflink into place before outstretching the same hand for you to adjust. Just as quick Nesta called for your attention as Azriel covered a more specific game plan. Nesta had insisted you accompany her, and help to ready her for the meeting, no matter how many times you reminded her that that was very much so not part of your job. 

“It's fine YN stop fidgeting!” She snapped at you, tugging the end of her dress from your grip before she leapt from the riser to take Cassian’s arm as they moved to leave for dinner. You knew she didn’t mean to take you so sharply, she was just stressed, they were all stressed. They were always stressed, they never meant to snap at you, or at least that's what you convinced yourself of.

“We should have left you home where you would be safe” Lucien said softly, pulling you from the step riser again, his thumb sweeping over the back of your hand. You couldn’t help but notice how different his touch was from Eris, and how you wished it was him with you now not Lucien. 

“Stay here YN, I hate it here as much as you, I’ll be as quick as I can back to you” He gave another smile before following the Inner Circle, closing the heavy door behind him. Did you hate it here, you wondered as you wandered around the room at the edge of Forest House, secluded away as you always were in these venues. 

You couldn’t help but listen to a vibrant voice in the back of your mind, beckoning you to come out and play. 

The distant echos of grandeur filled the halls from the dining room at the opposite end of the hall as you crept down the stoneway in the opposite direction. Before realising it, you step to a servant entrance of the grand house, whispers of Autumn guiding you through a place so new yet familiar. Your fingertips hardly made contact with the bronze of the handle before a large weight was thrown deep into your side. Overwhelming, almost suffocating heat swallowed the screams you shrieked, accompanied by a heavy hand as all pulled you from the hallway to an adjacent hallway pantry.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Eris released his hold on you, a flicker of flame leaking from his hand illuminating the closet. You doubled over, arms swaddling your stomach as you caught the breath shocked out of you. Eris's characteristic ironing-board-like posture softened at the sight.

“I-I didn’t mean to frighten you” 

“What-what the-” Eris’s hand reached for your arm, worry radiating before you cut off the action “-what the fuck is wrong with you?! You don’t just grab someone like that!” You righted yourself again, hands finding your hips as the oxygen found your lungs again. 

“Oh, you’re okay, I thought you lost your damn fucking mind coming here!” unfamiliar sharpness crossed his tongue as you scoffed at his heated whisper. 

“I’m here working” “Working? Those morons have no idea what bringing you here could cause!” His hands ran through his hair in frustration, the light flickering with the movement. 

“I won’t cause anything!-” You watched him drag his hands from his hair down his face in pure exasperation “-except it seems a headache for you” You grinned and as much as he fought it, he mirrored you.  

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the dinner?” “And aren’t you supposed to be in your cave of endless fabric?” You rolled your eyes at his rebuttal, moving to pass him only to have a soft touch take hold of your arm. The thud of a palm-sized book tumbling out of his pocket had both your gazes dropping. Surprisingly, you were first to retrieve the ornate book, its cover decorated with expansive drawings of the wood surrounding the Forest House. 

“Your diary?” You grinned, offering it back to him. 

“It’s actually…it’s actually nothing” You pulled it back into you at his ever so slightly panicked tone.

“So it is your diary?” You laughed gently, a slight rush of red growing across the Prince of Autumn's cheeks. 

“Its-its a collection of..of poetry I’m working on” He admitted, fighting his way through growing embarrassment as his eyes fixated on the leather in your hand. You smiled down again at the cover, at the idea of a softer Eris locked behind these pages, a glimpse into his world.

“We have to get you out of here” He said abruptly, as if eager to shift topics away from his hidden hobby. “Fine, I’ll ask Lucien to bring me back there” A pulse of heat radiated between you.

“I’ll bring you” 

“Won’t that impact the whole double agent incognito thing” You smirked, trying your best to not look down towards his gentle hold on you. 

“I’m sure if I murdered Lucien that would impact things more” 

“Remember Eris, I told you that shade of green wasn’t your colour” Silence swaddled the forgotten closet.

“That’s the first time you’ve said my name” The sound of his moniker sent Eris’s grip tightening slightly on your arm. “I’m sorry, was it saviour you preferred?” You hardly whispered, the swift movement that followed had your back pressed into the adjacent wall, Eris’s hand resting above your head, trapping you in the addictive warmth.

“As long as I’m the one you call for, I don’t care what you call me” he allowed himself to confess.

“This feels like a mistake” 

“So was trying to hurt you, I enjoyed every lick of flame that torched those males YN and if it had been any other male other than my brother to dance with you that night they would have met a similar fate” Eris’s smoky voice admitted quietly, amber eyes trapping you in their heat. A warm palm found its way to your waist, ushering you closer to the High Fae behind the walls of an enemy Court.

“So you were jealous?” “Shut up and let me kiss you” Every drop of your blood was heated with the perfect pressure that met your lips and your hand instinctively took a fistful of his shirt pulling him tighter into you. You felt his fingers knot deeply into your hair as his other hand tightened its grip, your mouths slotting over one another in perfect synchronicity. 

“You’re so delicate YN, your Court’s best kept secret and this world's greatest beauty, I feel like a moth to your flame-” Eris’s voice came out husky, starved for your touch “-I couldn’t explain it to myself why I felt like walking around that cursed city that day, the Mother must have known I’d meet you, that I would be drawn to you, that I burn for you” his thumb brushed over your cheek as you rested your head in the palm of his hand. A rush of cold met your skin as Eris fully pulled from you, your balance rocking slightly.

“Did-did I do something?” Eris sighed at your words, a hand tracing through his hair before he turned to face you, eyes ablaze. 

“I-I really feel like you may be worth every risk in this entire world but I am not and I will not risk your safety for my own desire” 

“I can protect myself Eris” “Not from what would seek you out because of me” The both of you stayed in studied silence for a moment, just observing one another and the energy shift between you both. 

“My court will protect me” a low sound growled from Eris's throat in response to you.

“You mean my brother will protect you?  The others care not for anyone but those in their precious inner sanctum” 

“That’s not true, I’m their friend!” You snapped back, your voice rising above a crackled whisper in anger. The words pinged an idea directly into Eris’s head, his way to push you away. “You’re their employee! They take you for granted! You can’t honestly say they treat you well can you? Do you think they’d keep you around if you lost your use to them? Their loyalty is conditional, they can’t be relied on!” A truth you frequently ignored washed over you, too much to take.

“You’ve been away from the table too long General, I must return to work” You offered the almost forgotten book in your hands back to him, his eyes only moving from the binding to your eyes. You scoffed again before moving as quickly as he had brought you to this secluded closet, rushing your away from the heat you wanted to be swaddled in forever. You tucked the tiny book into your sock beneath your dress, perhaps that was his goodbye gift to you you thought. Your path was then interrupted around the corner of the secret haven by the feeling of your body crashing into the solid pushback of metal, your hips meeting the plush carpet. 

“What do we have here?” You looked up through your eyelashes at the striking male, his broad shoulders shrouded in thick copper metal, the Autumn court of arms across his breast. 

You pushed up off the ground, doing your best to ignore your bruised tailbone. The broad, older male scanned you, his eyes snagging on your Court’s emblem stitched into your sleeve. 

“And tell me, what would a member of the Night Court be doing out of the designated area?” 

“I-I was looking for-for the bathroom” He towered over you, the smell of soot and tinder filling your airways, thick enough to choke on. He stretched out a gloved hand, lights flickering in his eyes like a sparking fire. Before you could take his hand, they curled around your wrist, hauling you forward. 

“And yet, I don't believe you” razor words said with a razor grin nicked at your nerves beneath your uniform. 

“Would-would I lie to you sir?” You sank into the lowest curtsey you could manage while still tethered to the burly male. You could feel your fingertips turn blue as the gloved hand took a tighter hold, your voice fighting not to croak as you spoke again. 

“I-I must return to my High Lord” 

“I don’t think so, this little exploration of yours must be reported” Alec snarled down at you, flicking his wrist sending yours back in a conflicting direction, a small yelp leaving your throat. “YN?” The two of you looked to find Lucien, stunned expression turning steely as he looked towards the hold a member of his former Court held on your wrist. He made short work of the distance between you, his warmed hand taking your opposite wrist.

“Unhand this Lady!” He barked.

“Lady? She is staff, staff that was where she shouldn’t have been!” Your head dipped at the ever-present reminder of your differences. Lucien scanned you briefly, a subtly deep intake of air had the scent of Autumn wind and campfire flooding his senses, his brother's scent on you. 

“I perhaps agree with you for once-” Lucien whispered down to you, words tainted with disappointment “-but regardless, she will come with me and her High Lord will take care of matters” Alec's grip only tightened further as Lucien attempted to pull you to his side, another wince decorating your face. 

“Not before my High Lord has a chance to examine what she may have learned”

“What was I going to learn in the bathroom, his Lordship's haircare routine?” Your words surprised you as much as anyone but not as much as the feeling of cracked leather meeting the side of your face, knocking you down to the plush carpet, out of Luciens hold. The side of your cheek felt as though it instantly began to swell, it matched your eyes as tears threatened to fall over the rim. You didn’t stay down for long, Alec hauling you back to your feet by your cracking wrist joint. You could feel the blood run from your lips, your skin fighting to stitch together and failing. Black blotted your vision competing for the greatest pain with your wrist.

“This female is to be brought before the Lord of Autumn. You have no authority here, run along to your master, she comes with me” That’s all you could hear before the black blots overtook the beautiful brass and copper of the Court of Autumn, no longer able to support your own weight. 

—-----------

The low crackle of a cruel flame filled your ears as an unnatural chill stretched from the icy flame. Your eyes flickered like the fire across from your cell, doing your best to come around from the sadistic male’s brutality. The cracking of brickwork met your back as you leaned into it, uncurling your legs from the ball of protection you had attempted to make. The depth of Forest House, far far away from the kind forest spirit voices that beckoned you to play, now replaced with the pained groans of other enemies to Autumn. 

“Wakey wakey” You rolled your head along the stone, supporting its weight as you looked to see the ever-feared Lord of Autumn standing on the other side of the brass caging. The metal shuddered as the guards opened them for their master. You lowered your head slightly, trying to win any favour with Beron, his low laugh your reward. 

“Anything to say for yourself?” You looked back up, fear stealing your voice as he stepped in closer, your bones rattling lowly off the stone beneath you. 

“No? Funny, you seem to have plenty of thoughts to write about” “Ex-excuse me, Lord?” You said quietly, your eyes then landing on the pocket-sized notebook in his cruel hands. You looked between it and its new holder, evident panic on your face, quickly exchanged for pure pain as the Lord of Autumn suddenly shot forward, pressing your body into the cold stone, his grip clutching your throat. 

“Beautiful sonnets and poems and prose, all with the very strong theme of escaping my beautiful court, destroying my beautiful legacy, running off with a beautiful forbidden creature, an accomplice of yours?” His even tone of pure ice contradicted the flaming heat beating through his hands to your throat. He’d kill his heir for his words, destroy him, torture him, make him beg, the idea of any of those outcomes unthinkable to you.

“Do not, DO NOT try to deny it” He tried again, crushing some air from your windpipe free. 

“Father!” Eris bellowed suddenly from behind, a small ease in pressure on your skin.

“Make yourself scarce Eris, I’m busy” His blackened eyes didn’t leave your bloodshot ones. 

“What are her charges?” Eris tried his best to keep the desperate tone at bay, Beron only held out the tiny notebook to his side, his other hand still gripping you. You watched as Eris turned practically to match the colour of your own oxygen-starved skin. 

“And she-she has admitted to that being hers?” “She was about to before your interruption!” He barked back at his eldest son, before allowing enough air into your lungs so you may speak. You looked over his shoulder to the Heir of Autumn, his eyes sunken in from worry or lack of sleep or both, you weren’t sure. You weren’t even sure how long you had been down there, how long before your Court would come for you if they even would come. These questions plagued you endlessly and now you were finally about to meet your end, your answer of who would come if you really needed help answered right in front of you in the russet eyes of a male you took stolen moments with. The male who believed himself not worthy of anything other than pain. You would not die with him believing this. 

“It’s min-” Your rasped lie cut off a flush of heat pulsating around the entire cell, Beron’s gaze snapping back to his son, a full release of pressure met your throat, your body sank to the ground, muscles screaming out for the rush of returning oxygen. You propped yourself up on your well-worn hands, fighting away blurry vision. Eris stood, shoulders settled back, flames like globes in his hands. 

“Alec, that’s Alec’s, there's more in his quarters. Go search them and you’ll see, no need to declare war with Night Court by slaughtering one of their courtiers” Pure confidence beamed from Eris, a grin then decorating his face as his father tilted his head in thought. 

“Think about it Father, it has to be someone with more access than a dressmaker? Someone with the intelligence to weave plots into poems, do you really think that a female would be capable of such?” Your heavy breath remained down towards the brick floor you looked down to, its small stones breaking away and burying into your palms and knees. You knew he saw you as more than that, and you trusted that he saw you as more than your court saw you as. You trusted him you realised. You heard Beron hum in quiet contemplation before looking back towards you, your hair matted in knots, uniform in tatters, the perfect image of weakness he believed all females had. Beron gestured quickly with his chin, his armed guards launching into action to search the quarters, no doubt going to find carefully planted prose and poems, damming in their divinity. 

“A dressmaker?” Beron questioned you once again, his head tilting as you nodded gently towards the stone, unable to lift your dizzying head. 

“Useless skill” He spat down before sinking a heavy, steel-soled boot flush with your right hand. Blood rushed to your ears as the little oxygen in your lungs escaped as a deafening roar, drowning out the sound of your breaking bones. The ring of bruises gifted to you by Alec on your other wrist clutched your shattered hand into your chest.

“You may finish her off Eris, your reward for your observant nature, I must see to the search” He smirked at his son who fought to keep his mouth from hanging open and flame from fleeing his fists. Beron sank into the fire, leaving his heir and his prisoner. Eris crashed to your side, his warm hands supporting your shoulders as you cried out. 

“I’m sorry YN, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry” He whispered into your hair, your sobs drowning in his chest. A swirl of comforting flame swaddled you both as Eris pulled you both through the heat to the outskirts of the wood surrounding Forest House. 

The Forest air was as refreshing as any of the elements as you landed gently in the clearing, Eris’s arms supporting your weight as he clung you into him. 

“They’ll be here soon my love” He gave a small saddened smile into the crown of your hair, causing you to pull back to look up at him. 

“What?” You managed, the movement of even speaking amplifying the pain in your digits. Another whoosh of air filled the clearing, Lucien quick to your side accompanied by Azriel, colour draining from the Shadowsinger’s face at the overly familiar sight of your hands. 

“Go with them YN, they’ll protect you” Eris attempted another smile as you looked from him to his brother, who tried and failed to hide his worry. 

“I want- I want to stay with you Eris” “Look at what happens when you stay with me YN, nothing good ever comes from this place” “But you came from this place” You cried out, your legs trembling again, Eris’s arm slipped around your waist again, Lucien unfamiliar with this side of his brother. 

“I told you I’m only going to bring you pain” “And I-I told you green wasn’t one of your colours, we can both be wrong sometimes” You laughed lightly through your tears, fighting your instincts to look down at your hands. Eris brushed a thumb over your cheek, keeping a stray tear from falling before pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“I have to leave you YN, I have to make sure Alec learns his lesson, the same one I will teach my father one day and anyone who dares to harm you” He searched through your eyes before stepping back, allowing Lucien to wrap his arm around you to support your body, Azriel placing a small cloth over your hand to shield you from the full extent of the damage. Eris traced the rings of bruising on your uncovered wrist, further cementing his decision. Azriel’s eyes scanned, watching for signs you had all been discovered and finding the distant sounds of guards beginning to storm towards them. 

“We have to go” Azriel ordered, Eris and Lucien both nodding. 

“Eris, please, please come with us” You begged through sobs. 

“One day YN, one day I’ll show you this Court when it’s something I’m proud of, I’ll show you all of who I am, when it’s something I’m proud of” He brought the back of your hand to his lips, only to have you suddenly pull it back before launching forward towards him. His lips on yours felt like a warm hearth, like home, his soothing heat warming the world you always thought was meant to be cold. 

“I was jealous” He admitted with his signature smirk as he parted from you, his hand running down your tangled hair receiving a light laugh from you as Lucien reluctantly pulled you back. 

“We have to go, they’re close” Azriel took your weight, hesitantly taking you some distance away from Eris, leaving Lucien and Eris with some space between them. 

“I will look after your mate brother” Eris only nodded in return before stealing another glance at you and sinking into flame. 

--------------------------------------------------

“Your power has so much more use than partying YN, if only I could convince you to join my team” A gloved hand reached down, your knees split from the fall, the blood now flowing as you allowed him to pull you up. 

“Whatever Az, as if he’d allow me on any of the fun missions. Taking me back to my cell?”

“Do you mean your plush room in a palace? Then yes” he smiled softly, tucking your arm close to him, shadows ran up and down your bare legs attempting to bring some semblance of heat back to them.

“A gilded cage is still a cage” You sighed, a sympathetic smile growing on his face as he dissolved you both into shadow, the sound of the guards finally reaching you both a distant memory, to match the freedom you briefly felt. 

The landing to your House of Wind living quarters was as gentle as ever, Azriel in full knowledge of your hatred for winnowing. You threw yourself down on the edge of your bed, your ruined shoes being kicked free. 

“Night YN” Azriel smiled as you flattened yourself out of the delicate sheets, eyes fixed on the swirl of stars painted across the ceiling. 

“Where’s my keeper?”

“He’s busy getting nowhere with Nesta” he laughed quietly while you uprighted yourself to look towards the Shadowsinger again, a smirk painting your face. 

“I enjoy the stress that female puts on my dear brother, it keeps me young and beautiful” You grinned, striding over to sit at your vanity, your fingers pulling stray sticks from your locks.

“You don’t need help with that” 

“What?” You turned to question Azriel’s barely audible words but he had already gone, leaving you alone again, the wind reverberating against the towering windows. 

-

You sauntered into the long dining room, your footsteps against the stone cutting into the clearly awkward silence between the three other residents of the House of Wind. The legs of the large oak chair scrapped along the worn stone, making Nesta recoil slightly from the other end of the table, Cassian watching her face carefully from the opposite end. Azriel looked grateful to have you sit across from him, anything to end the tension between the two on either side of him. 

“So, sent dear Azzie out to fetch me again brother?” or start new tension Azriel thought, your almost bored words dragging Cassian's eyes to you. 

“You shouldn’t go to those parties, anything could happen you”

“Yeah like a break from you two...or something interesting” You muttered down to your grapefruit, Azriel’s foot briefly tipping against the top of your toes in a comforting movement so short you couldn’t say it happened for sure. 

“They’re all out to stop our freedom YN” Nesta chewed out, a blow clearly directed towards Cassian who threw a glare to her. You didn't hate Nesta per say, sure she kept your brother occupied which allowed you more time to sneak away but you paid the price of having to deal with her tantrums. As well as having to deal with the foul moods she put your brother in.

“I appreciate the support Nesta but with all due respect you’re a traumatised, spendthrift, alcoholic, I just have a control freak for a brother” Azriel nearly choked on the orange segments he ate with bad timing as now both Nesta and Cassian directed their annoyance towards you.  Neither heated glance fazed you, you knew Cassian's weak spots since a child and as for Nesta, she wasn’t yet up to the skill it would take to leave a scratch on you and so there you sat, eating your grapefruit with a smug sense of comfort. 

“Takes one to know one” Nesta scoffed towards her breakfast. 

“Excuse me?” You bit back, Azriel’s foot gently tapping you again, its reassurance doing little to your escalating anger, a stray shadow now wrapping around your ankle.

“Don’t play all high and mighty, Cassian’s told me all about the whoring party girl you used to be-”

“-Enough Nesta” Azriel spoke with a slow composure that conveyed a level of anger you prayed never to be on the other end of. 

“Why!? You’re all allowed to talk about my drinking and fucking!? Why can’t I talk about the original party girl of the group? The female that got so drunk that she slept through Tamlin and his father stealing away Rhysand’s sister? Some lady in waiting you are! Or should I say were?” Venom from Nesta’s tongue stung more than any blow her power could deliver. Your deepest regret, the deepest darkest lowest point of your 500 years on this Earth, thrown at you like it was nothing. You thought about that night often, how you just wanted one night of entire numbing, to not feel the deep scars down your back where your wings once were just once and how you would pay the price of that for centuries after. You screeched the chair along the slate again, standing with escalating anger as Cassian began reprimanding Nesta.

“I hope you never feel an ounce of what I did that night Nesta, I hope you get everything you want in life and it still not be enough” Your voice was an even calmness that came with pure white-hot rage as tears began to brim along your lash line. You met the dining room door quickly, the room descending into a deeper realm of tension than when you had arrived. 

“And I also hope you fall down those steps your feeble muscles can’t even bring you down” You added before slamming the door of the dining room, jolting Cassian slightly. Azriel stood from his place, his fingertips pressed into the oak as it pushed back against him. 

“Speak to her like that again and I’ll personally help Rhysand kick your sorry ass to the wilderness” Azriel often avoided full eye contact with Nesta and yet this time found himself staring down Lady Death with only rage bubbling through his veins.

—

You flung your favourite clothes into the rucksack Cassian had carried through his first war. You looked down at its deep indigo colouring, its tattered fabric a reminder of the battles your brother fought for his people, for you. 

“YNN?” Azriel called softly from the other side of your door, shadows beginning to leak under the doorframe. You sank into your power, vanishing from visibility as Azriel entered the room slowly. He crossed to your bag and tipped the contents back onto the bed, his shadows curling into him. 

“I know you’re here YNN” You didn’t respond to him, his eyes still fixed on your clothing until shadows darted from his side and pinned you against the silver wallpaper of your room.

“Agh! Cheater!” You called back, dissolving the mist of invisibility you had built. 

“You know I will always find you, no matter where you run to” He smiled sweetly at you before glancing at the emptied bag of your belongings. 

“I know, an annoying characteristic of yours that I love” You laughed, his shadows releasing their hold allowing you to return to pack your bag at Azriel’s side. 

“She was being an idiot, you know no one blames you for what happened?” You didn’t reply to his gentle words. For centuries you fought the demon in you blaming you for that night, how you might have stopped it if you hadn’t been licking your wounds. Countless times the Inner circle absolved you of blame, reminded you that regardless you wouldn’t have been able to stop a High Lord and his son, how no one ever for an ounce of time thought you should pay the penance you had set on yourself. 

“Cassian is downstairs reprimanding her, pretty sure she’ll be getting the silent treatment for a while” he added.

“That shit probably turns her on”

“So snarky for, what was it? A former party girl whore?” He laughed back at you, your eyes finally returning to his, your own grin forming. 

“If the shoe fits” You held up your disregarded pump from last night's antics, Azriel taking it from you, his marred hands dusting off the now-dried peat.

“Well, hopefully, the whore part doesn’t fit you anymore” he looked from the satin fabric forever stained back to you. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You chuckled, returning your clothing back to the rucksack, his free hand taking hold of yours as it made its way to gather more articles of clothing.

“I would actually, tell me, tell me about the males who try with no success and great success. Tell me so I may hunt them down and destroy them for ever thinking themselves worthy of the moon, a beauty we mere Earth dwellers may only admire from afar. Tell me YN, tell me so I may stop searching every room I enter in hopes I find you there and not wrapped around some other male. Tell me so I can find comfort in the invisibility you are blessed with that I am cursed with. Tell me, party girl, tell me so I can move on from you” Azriel’s words hung in their honesty between you like apples on a tree. Yours to take or yours to leave. 

“How-how do you always know where to find me Azriel?” You found yourself asking, your eyes looking from his down to the shoe he held. He would always come for you before you even knew you needed him, always there to your rescue or support. Always there to defend your antics to Cassian when he feared his sister was lost to her old self again. Always there to pull you back before you could meet that old self again. Always there. 

“I think you know YN” his voice like smoke and glowing embers, comforting you as it always did, tethering you to him like it always did. Tethering. 

“You’re my mate” It came out like a statement, not a question, a statement of something always true but not always obvious to you. Had your gift been obscuring the truth from you or had it been your own selfish ways, it didn't matter, what mattered was-

“Yes, I’m your mate, yours YN but you are free to be anyone else's or no one’s at all, I will not add to the gilded cage” he dropped the shoe, moving to release your hand only to find yours tighten its grip, charged with a quiet intensity that had never been there before. His hand lifted, trembling slightly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, last night's make-up probably still smudged in your waterline. The touch lingered, his fingers tracing the curve of your cheek until your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into the touch, the warmth of his palm soothing every frayed nerve that ever jolted in your body. Azriel leaned in, unable to deny himself any longer, knowing now that you wanted this to. That you wanted him. The kiss was gentle, glowing like a realisation that all you had both ever wanted had always been down the hall from one another. His hand found the back of your neck, pulling you in closer as you reassured him with soft breaths that you wanted this, wanted all of him. Never wanting it to end but also not wanting to suffocate. You separated with somewhat sharp breaths, oxygen flooding your blood again. 

“How long did you know Az?”

“The night Spring took our family and I found you passed out at the end of your bed, your back still raw from that sick sick cruelty of our blood-” his hand travelled from your neck down to your shoulderblades, the small mounds of scars pressing into the soft fabric of your shirt “-I lifted you into your bed and just, just stayed watching you all night from your vanity chair, watching your breath and holding my own breath every inhale you took, waiting for the exhale. You used to really scare us YN”

“I know” You ran the back of your hand down his cheek, soaking up the stray tear that leaked from his eyes. 

“I-I never admitted this to anyone but I felt-I felt relief finding you there, that-that they didn’t take you too, that they didn’t hurt you like they hurt them” his head dipped in shame, a secret he held since that night. You kissed him sweetly then, pushing away his growing sorrow. 

“I’ll admit the same to you, I felt relief when I found out you didn’t accompany Rhysand to Amarantha’s ball like you were supposed to, that she didn’t get you too” You dipped your glance briefly at your admission before Azriel surprised you by smiling. 

“Rhysand has terrible friends, one of them is trying to fuck his sister-in-law and two others are glad it's him and not them that the terrible things happen to” You laughed at his obvious parody of your lives. You sat on the bed, the rucksack sinking into the bed beneath your hips, Azriel joining your side. 

“Where were you going to run to?” He found his curiosity asking, his shadows swirling lovingly around you. 

“There’s this party at this old bunker in Winter Court I was going to check out”

“An old bunker? Are they ever in buildings that haven’t been condemned?” he chuckled, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. 

“Not any good ones” you returned the laugh. 

“Are mates welcome?” 

“I don’t know does the whole mate thing really go with the party girl whore image I apparently projected” 

“Maybe that's okay too” he smiled, your head leaning into his shoulder.

“I think so too”

--------------------------

-

The following weeks lead Eris down a rabbit hole of Night Court intricacy, forever walking the line between ally and babysitter. He took comfort in the daily strolls through the thicket of woodland, his beloved pack in toe. The days he missed the walks he noticed his own demeanour change, his interest in the tangled interpersonal mess the Inner Circle was weaving waning beyond even an ounce of interest. Eris checked his hounds daily and despite their own vast staff, he loved to take care of them and nurture the breed while nurturing something he wasn’t even sure he still had inside himself. Some care for another living thing. Not in a selfish way of course, but more in a self-preservation sense, what he loved had a habit of crumbling in his hands or being crushed in someone else’s. 

Deep in thought, Eris ran a hand down the head of one of his younger hounds, Tine, who laid his head on the lap of his master as Eris tried to gain an understanding of the written correspondence on the desk. Tine grumbled against Eris’s thigh before stretching down to the ground. 

“Its tough work being pampered Tine” he laughed to himself, casting an eye on the other 4 hounds, curled into their own worlds by the fire of the study. Eris smiled softly at the relaxed nature, would any other living thing find such comfort in the company he provided? He forced the ever-present question away from his thoughts, casting a look to the sofa where Craos would often take her rest. Empty. Eris stood abruptly, chair screeching along the slate enough to have Tine stand to attention once again. Craos had been there when the others came in from their dinner? Hadn’t she? Another attempt by the Night Court to swipe away Eris’s attention buried him in paperwork when the dogs were returned to him. 

Quick on his feet, Eris and his pack found the staff of the kennels and after a brief and sharp discussion it was unclear if Craos was with the pack on return from her exercise. Following sharp threats, Eris took to the woodland again, his hounds hunting down their own with precision. His voice reverberated off ancient trees as their crisp golden leaves began to ink with lush green colour. Thoughts of the worst clouded the shrubbed path as Eris felt the border of Spring, his second least favourite place in the realm.

“Craos!” He echoed across a section of the stream border between Spring and Autumn. The mischievous hound leapt with excitement at the presence of her master, bounding through the shallow stream to return to Autumn and its son. He gave thanks for Spring's current instability as during time previous he wouldn’t have gotten this close to the Spring border without a visit from the furry High Lord. Eris couched into the silt of the streams bank, rubbing Craos's goofy face while quietly scolding her, knowing full well she wasn’t listening. 

“Petal” Eris looked up from the rushes towards the call of the sing-song siren-like voice. Not in the mood for confrontation with Spring, Eris crouched further into the brambles, obscuring himself from the female across the watery border. Craos pulled against Eris’s gentle hold, eager to cross the border again and succeed with another call from the voice. Eris watched the most feared hound in all the realm, leap like a bunny rabbit to your shadow, jumping to lick your face as you crouched to allow her. 

“Petal darling easy” You laughed, coating the clearing in an ease unfamiliar to Eris. through the thick river rushes Eris watched his much-revered hound roll to her back for scratches before leaping up to follow your hand as it dug through your bag. 

“Okay, sit now” you laughed, Craos eagerly obeying and happily rewarded with a small bread roll you took from your bag. 

“Easy easy” You beamed as she scoffed the lot, Eris watched the interaction with equal parts confusion and intrigue and at that very moment realised the most feared son in all the realm was acting like a bunny rabbit hiding from a fox in the rushes. That very son shot upright quickly from his burrow, causing you to leap slightly with fright as Eris pulled his shoulders back in a more becoming stance. The both of you looked across the crystal-like stream, Craos jumping at your feet eager to resume your undivided attention. 

“Come” Eris called across the rushing water, only to have Craos not respond to him with obedience. You slowly ran your hand down the hounds head, not taking your eyes from the High Lord’s son. 

“Forgive me sir but you have no business this close to the Spring border” You tried your best to project confidence, it slipping from your grasp in the face of Eris’s heated stare. 

“You’re forgive” You fought hard to not roll your eyes at the obvious display of sarcasm. Eris lightly tapped his side, Craos’ ears snapping forward to attention before bounding across the stream to her master.

“Good”

“Don’t hurt her, she’s only coming home” You walked to the bank's edge, eyes scanning Craos for any sign of distress.

“Home?-” Eris found it hard to muffle his confused chuckle “-she is my hound, property of the Autumn Court-”

“Property!?-” You found the full strength in your voice “-she is a living being and she belongs to Prythian, she is more at home in the forest and with me-”

“-And who exactly are you?” Eris was quickly losing patience as Craos seemingly shrunk in stature at her master's strengthening tone. 

“It matters little, leave the dog and return away from my border-”

“-Orders?” Eris’s laugh filled the clearing, his heavy boots now stalking closer to the perimeter “-I will not take orders from anyone.”

“I hear you take orders from the Night Court” You laughed, it now skirting along Eris’s nerves instead of soothing them. 

“I do no such thing” The river water’s temperature began to rise as the son of the flame began to stalk closer. 

“Really? I heard you even bend over when dear Rhysie asks” You laughed again, Eris now causing the very edge of the river to steam. You raised a hand before his boot fully slid into the refreshing stream, a long wall of water dividing up the middle of the lake, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Ah ah-” you shook your finger towards him “-fire and water don’t mix sir” Craos ears pinned back at your words before she looked between the two of you, unsure of her own next move. 

“Your name, tell me your name” He chewed out, examining the translucent wall in front of him for cracks. 

“YN, the last keeper of my Court’s boarders” You smiled so innocently, it almost lured Eris back into that unfamiliar softness until he heard the soft sizzle of the dying flame at his fingertips, it turning to steam against the new border. 

“The last? Perhaps you should take that as a hint and seek further employment at a market or something?”

“Is that where Rhysand bought you?” You smirked, with more playfulness than power and Eris fought away his own smile. Craos leapt forward, Eris going to catch hold of her before she could slam into the fortified border but to his surprise, she glided through it with ease unavailable to him. 

“She can stay, you may go”

“She’s my hound, however, your supply of bread rolls certainly explains her newfound…plumpness” He heard her seemingly groan back in offesen and you looked from her to him. 

“Now you’re annoying two females, you should potentially quit while you’re ahead” Eris scoffed at your teasing, the sound of the other hounds bounding behind him piquing your interest. The four looked to their eldest sibling across the water, heads cocked to the side in curiosity and some form of canine communication. The four followed suit of their leader and crossed to you and Craos with ease. 

“Look at you lovelies” You beamed, crouching to meet the hounds as they reunited with their sister. Eris watched through the glistening border wall, his feared hounds reduced to cuddly toys under your touch. It was if he wasn’t even there. You interacted with them like they were never a threat and never would be, the way that he felt you might feel about him. A foreign feeling to a male whose reputation often goes before him. 

“We-we must be going” Eris felt unsure of the ounce of guilt he felt towards separating you from his pack, some sense of something wrong flooded him when they all ran back to his feet, leaving you alone on the other side of the clearing once again. You looked down with softer eyes to the dogs at his feet, no ounce of fear from them giving you comfort. 

“Don’t make a habit of feeding them all now” Eris smiled, bringing your eyes back to him.

“I thought she was stray, I didn’t know she was one of yours”

“They’re all mine, you say she belongs to Prythian but that is the very land that tried to eradicate the breed” You nodded lightly at his proud words. Silence returned to the clearing only to have Craos groan, receiving a knowing look from Eris. 

“She can come back when she is not working and when I say it is okay but, the bread rolls end” another groan from his eldest hound “No more bread rolls” he reiterated to her, gaining a laugh from you. 

“It's okay Petal, we’ll see” You smiled at her, the other dogs listening carefully and plotting their own access to baked goods. 

“Her name is Croas, it means blazing, a more fitting name than Petal I think” he laughed heartily, the action surprising even himself a little. 

“I’m going to stick with Petal, keep to your side sir” You returned the grin before dipping you head and evaporating into the very mist you built the wall from. 

-

Eris jogged through the vast Autumn woods, desperate to crush the headaches the Night Court were giving him like the leaves under his boots. The hounds sprang into their own exploration, all staying in close proximity except Craos, who had gone to visit you. Over the past month, she began to spend more and more time with you in Spring, even missing a few nights away from home to keep you company. It didn’t bother Eris as much as he had thought, the bread rolls had stopped and Craos seemed happy, he had no reason to take away another living thing's happiness. He never wanted to do that, to begin with, it just became part of his image, his unfortunate brand he couldn’t wait to shed once he assumed power from his father. 

Wartime plans swirled across his head, scenarios of defeat and success clogging his mind until he was snapped from focus by his suddenly wet shoes. He had once again jogged to the border of Spring and Autumn. This was the third time since first meeting you that his feet had taken him where his heart wanted to go and his head didn’t consent to. Unlike those times, however, he found you sat a little way up the stream by the river's edge. Eris watched Craos sprawled along your side, your hand drawing lazy circles on her stomach as you kept your focus on the book in the other. 

“No wonder Spring is falling, when the border guards take such leisure during their worktime” Eris called across to you, throwing his weight into the trunk of a sinking willow, hands tucked deep in his pockets. You looked up from your deep study with a slight jolt, Croas leaping instantly to defend you and sinking back once seeing the perpetrator. Eris never thought one of his hounds would defend anyone without his instruction and yet here Craos was, delighted to be at your service. You looked at Eris's sinking shoe before tilting your head slightly, the wall of water reappearing with the movement. 

“Threatened sweetheart?” Eris smirked, his hands now crossing against his chest in amusement as you stood. 

“Why would I be threatened by someone who’s going to slip?” Before Eris could question further, the sinking willow slipped free a root from the crumbling soil under Eris’s weight, his full balance being thrown back to land on an equally shaky bank. Your laugh echoed off the Spring trees at the sight of the much feared Son of Autumn helplessly falling into the shallow water, it soaking him to his skin instantly. Eris felt flushed with anger, it mixing violently with embarrassment but the sight of your head tilting back with put amusement took it from him as fast as the bank took his balance and he found himself smiling. 

“I don’t know how but you did that on purpose” He stood, a quick flash of flame drying him off as Craos crossed back to his side. 

“I can’t be blamed for you being clumsy” You chuckled, tucking your book back into your bag, Eris catching a glimpse of the cover. 

“I’ve read that, I didn’t think others would have?” 

“So unique and mysterious sir, not like other High Lords” You teased, your hands finding your hips as the other hounds joined the scene, seemingly groaning to demand their dinner. 

“Well, if you would let me cross this silly little water show, I could show you” You raised an eyebrow to his tone of possible flirtation. You blinked softly, a splash of water ejecting from the wall to soak Eris again as he recoiled. 

“I can be blamed for that, little water show” You laughed loudly, Eris wiping the water from his face until another flash of heat dried it away. He thought briefly about how he’d killed others for less and yet no desire to do that to you.

“Maybe another time then YN, I just came for our girl anyways, come Craos better get you home for your dinner” He smiled at the obedient pup. 

“She had a bread roll” You winked before dissolving away in the mist. 

—-----------------

Eris dragged his hands through his hair, his rings snagging slightly on his locks. The warmth of the study fire took away the chill from the perpetual Autumn but was unable to do the same to his sentiments about the Inner Circle. They kept him away from his home for the past three weeks and so kept him away from his encounters with you which had become more frequent in the three months since your first. Still, he stayed on one side of the watery wall, happy to exchange some stories with you across its shimmering surface. Craos was only too delighted that her newfound parents had seemed to cross the bridge between indifference to let's say tolerance. 

Eris stood from his desk, taking a violet-coloured book from the vast library before stalking around the grounds of his hidden home away from home, his hounds in tow except for the usual conscientious objector. The sinking sun reflected beautifully off the crisp leaves of this secluded cottage away from both Autumn and Night Court headaches. He sank down into a well-rotting deck chair, it creaking under his weight as he cracked the spine of the forgotten book you had reminded him of two months prior. It wasn’t long before the sound of heavy panting snapped Eris from the world on the tea-coloured pages. 

“Craos?” He called to the growing darkness, standing to his feet as the hound came bounding through the trees before barking frantically, stirring the other sleeping hounds. 

“What? What’s wrong?” A flame came to Eris’s hand instantly as Craos took the cuff of his trouser leg between her teeth and pulled to which he went willingly. She released her grip before dashing back in the direction she came from, only stopping to make sure Eris was still following. The group leapt over tree roots and mossy burrows, all quick on their pursuit of Craos and her frantic nature until the familiar flush of Spring air rushed at them. Eris’s eyes shot to your weakening body across the familiar river, your groans of pain reverberating off the trees as you fought to stand. Craos met your side quickly as you procured yourself up on one elbow, the mud and moss obscuring you slightly from Eris. 

“Hi Petal, it’s okay” You tried through tears to reassure her, taking your hand from your mangled leg to rub her reassuringly, your blood tinging her fur on contact. She yelped towards you before looking back to a pale Eris, you only notice him then. You tried your best to push from the ground, the screaming sound of metal on bone attempted to deafen your cries of pain. It became clear to him then, that the giant metal teeth of a trap designed to capture naga had found a new victim to lay claim to, its unforgiving mouth crushing through one of your ankles. Eris sank a foot into the river, your shaking hand instantly raising the wall of mist to block him. 

“YN, let me cross” He pleaded, failing to hide the desperation in his voice.

“I-I can’t, he’ll know-know I failed to keep the-the border and he-he might come for you for-for crossing” Your rattling breath only pushed Eris closer to the wall, it solidly pushing him back despite your growing weakness. 

“Let me deal with that overgrown badger, let me across, I need to help you” he continued to plea, his palms flat against the wall of water as the hounds cried out their own appeals. 

“What-what if he comes for-for Craos” You cried, attempting to sit up, your pain threshold quickly being pushed to the limit. 

“Then we’ll both kill him but you need to live for that, now please” His sterness finally had you giving in, the wall dropping with an uncharacteristically loud whoosh. Eris was quick to your side, his strong hands pried open the deathly grip held on your ankle as you cried out in almost deafening pain. The pressure released on your spraying arteries caused a new flood of blood to cover you both, the loss of blood pressure stealing colour from your face as well as energy. Eris took hold of the mangled joint, his hands gently heating. 

“You’re gonna hate me for this YN”

“N-nothing new there so” You half laughed through gritted teeth, it taking some semblance of worry from Eris before he began to to heat his hands to molten levels. You screeched from the feeling of healing flame, your arms instinctively wrapping around Eris's neck to bury your scream in his shoulder. The cauterising was the easy part, the fractured joints and bones not so much. With your arms gripping around him, he sank his hands beneath your legs to pull you up from the ground, the sudden upshoot and loss of blood causing you to lose consciousness immediately. 

-

The feeling of plush fur beneath your cheek was the first thing you noticed, then the smell of crisp cedar and smoke. Your eyes flittered open to the flickering of a well-established fire, Craos lying protectively up the length of your stomach on the oak-coloured leather couch. You rubbed her gently causing her to immediately react with large licks up your cheeks, the other dogs rushing to do the same. 

“Easy everyone” Eris laughed, a large mug in his hand as you sat up from the overwhelming affection. You looked down to see your mangled ankle no longer resembling a horror scene, a pristine white bandage replacing the crimson blood and torn muscle. 

“You’ll be okay, I had a healer here, you might be a bit sore” Eris spoke softly, watching you inspect the wrap before passing you the mug. 

“Thank-thank you” You looked back to him before taking a deep drink from the ceramic. 

“You didn’t even assume I poisoned that, we’ve made a lot of progress” He laughed, sinking into the chair across from you. 

“If you were going to kill me it would have been at the sight of the first bread roll” You chuckled, Croas’s ears perking up at the mention of her favourite snack. 

“Yes well, there's still time” Craos grumbled at her master's teasing, gaining another laugh from you. You looked around the small living room that had become your infirmary, noticing the vast collection of books, wooden figurines of great creatures and general Eris-ness about the place. The inspection made Eris shuffle slightly in his seat until you caught him watching you. You smiled back, swinging your legs to stand again, Craos moved from your side to the other end of the couch. 

“Careful walking YN, I had to threaten the life of a healer to fix that ankle” He smirked but the worry was still written across his amber eyes. You took one or two shaky steps before stopping, Eris fixating his eyes on every movement as Craos seemingly decided to take things into her own hands…or paws. She suddenly jumped from the couch, knocking into the back of your knees, sending your shaking legs from under you. Eris was quicker to react than you, taking hold of your outstretched arms and saving you from imprinting your face on the coffee table. 

“Saving you for the second time” He smiled down at you, allowing you to shift your weight for him to support you, his hands finding your waist to steady you. 

“Maybe I’ll return the favour sometime and not drown you” You laughed again, your hands taking hold of his shoulders for greater balance.

“I have a weird feeling YN that you could save me in another way” He cut off any questioning you might have, your lips meeting his with a delicatness you didn’t know any male could have let alone one of the most feared.  You were suddenly pulled away from him by the feeling of paws on your good foot. You both looked down to Craos who stood knowingly between you both, looking up with adoration at her two favourites fae, making you both laugh. 

“Good girl Croas, very very good girl” Eris beamed down at her before looking back at you again, his new found salvation.

-------------------------------

“No, you’re not” A laugh left Rhysand as he released his shoulder and loosened the belt of blades slung around him. 

“Why not?” Azriel inhaled a breath that sounded like “here we go” at Cassian's question. 

“She’s my sister, so she’s like your sister, it's like illegal or something” Cassian scoffed a laugh at Rhysand’s half-answer.

“Except the four of us aren’t actually siblings and the sentiment is nice and all but I’m not her brother, I want to ask her out, nothing creepy about it” Rhysand’s turn to laugh at Cassian, shoving him back lightly at the words and leaning down to loosen his training boots.

“Nah Cass, forget it, move on, I forbid it”

“You what?” he bit out in return, Azriel’s eyes darting between the two, this was going to turn into another savage argument, he could see it. 

“Right, let's leave it there-” Azriel tried but was almost immediately cut off by Rhysand.

“-Yeah, I forbid it. I don’t want things to get messy”

“They won’t, I think we would be- “-Forget it Cass, enough drama was caused with Mor-” Azriel took a sharp inhale at Rhysand’s low blow, the two males began to square up to one another just as you called from the sidelines. 

“Hey! Come on, start getting ready, have a bath before the smell poisons the flowers” you beamed, raising an eyebrow at Azriel at the weird energy. He just shook his head at you not to get involved. Your gaze separated the two males, both storming away to their quarters. 

“Fuckers always leave me to tidy up” Azriel signed, picking up the kit the three had used in training. 

—---------------------------------------------

The howling Winter wind ripped through the hills of the Illyrian mountains, coursing through Windhaven. You looked out through the living room window of the place you called home in this unforgiving climate.

“YN? Are you okay?” Your brother whispered from the front door as he shook off the biting snow. 

“I’m fine Rhys, how was the mixer?” 

“Unsurprisingly violent-” He laughed, a small smile growing on your face at the sound “-Are you sure you’re okay? You look as though you are going to run away” Rhysand laughed again to cover his rising worry.

“Nothing to concern yourself with Rhys, I’m going to just go read in my room” You tried your best to beam back in your usual way to him, rising from the window seat and wandering to your room down the hall. Rhysand questioned whether or not he should follow you, deciding to return to bed and inquire further in the morning.

You stared up at the ceiling, the clock yearning to strike midnight as you sighed. You quietly strapped on your shoes and sheathed yourself in your thickest jacket. You ever so gently lifted the sash window of your ground-level room and slipped out into the night, knowing your brother and mother would go feral with the knowledge of you going into the Illyrian camp unattended at night, despite your own strength. 

You moved through the shadows of the grey mountain stone buildings, dipping out of the sight of passing party-worn Illyrians until you found yourself wandering down the disused service lane heading in the direction of the closest village. The chill sent shapes of cold down your spine as you fought the feeling of watching wild eyes from the deep thick woods the lane cut through. Your wings clung tight to your back trying to draw any ounce of warmth possible. You stopped and stretched before launching into your routine jogging trailing along the outskirts of the busy village, a relaxed breath releasing the stress.

Swirled in your own deep thoughts, the sudden weight thrown into your side caught you entirely off guard as you instinctively screamed. A hand wrapped tightly around your jaw preventing further alarm from being raised in your desperate shouts.

The wooded path grew thicker and thicker the further you were hauled into the woods, worst-case scenarios dancing across your mind. The movement suddenly stopped as you felt the solid thud of the body of a tree meeting your back, you forced your eyes open to meet your perpetrator. 

“Boo”

“GODS! YOU FUCKING JERK CASSIAN!” You pushed Cassian backwards and almost off his feet while lashing him with your hands into his shoulder blades while he hunched over howling laughing. 

“Your face!” he managed between laughs, half choking.

“Don’t do that to me! I thought it was one of the trainee warriors trying to earn his stripes!”

“Don't even joke about that YN, I’d kill them where they stood” his suddenly serious tone cut through you before you smiled at him. Cassian seemingly remembered the fright he gave you, returning to his laughter as you both strolled back towards the path. 

“I’ll walk you back YN, protect you from-”

“-From psychopaths who might sweep me away into the woods?!” you cut across him, now both laughing into the freezing night. 

“Why are you out so late anyway? Your mother and Rhys would be very unhappy with you”

“I could say the same to you” You raised an eyebrow to the warrior.

“I had business, I care not to go further into it with a Lady” he faux bowed towards you, gaining an eye-roll from you.

“Seriously YNN, what’s with the twilight running?”

“Nothing really”

“Tell me or I’ll start singing” You gave a sceptical look towards your dear friend before he took a deep inhale and belted half a note of pure torture, your hand covering his mouth at the release of the crow song. 

“Okay okay!” You laughed, pulling back your hand “-I was actually… I was actually thinking of going home to Velaris” You admitted, ending the momentary comfortable silence that bounced off the ancient trees. Cassian pursed his lips in thought, trying his best to not show all his cards, a futile attempt. 

“This is why we can’t be together YNN, so hung up on the glitz and glamour of city life, can't appreciate the wild” 

“I’m pretty sure the reason we can't be together is that I don’t like you” Cassain put his hand to his chest feigning hurt, you scoffed at your long-time friend before continuing along the path.

“No more nightly running alone YN, seriously dangerous especially for precious cargo like a High Lord's daughter, someone might take you as their chance to prove themselves and then I’ll have to commit murder and I don’t like my leathers to get messy” he ran a hand through his hair as you fought the urge to shove him again. 

“Aw you think I’m precious” you sarcastically shot back

“The most precious thing we have in this dump” his sincere tone ringing through you.

“We'll leave here someday Cass, get on with our real lives”

“We?”

“Well yeah I'm going to need someone to carry my bags” you smirk and he nudges you across the snowy path.

“Can't leave my partner in crime behind me now can I?” His genuine smile of gratitude made you feel warm. He always did. No one could quite understand him like you. The subtle glow of the training camp in the far distance came into view and you sighed at the sight. 

“Come on Cass, come get a drink in the village, I don’t want to head back just yet” he nodded to your great idea as you looped your arm through his for warmth and sauntered back towards the village. 

—----------------------

The village bar was heaving with Fae, all deeply relying on the crutch of alcohol to soothe their woes. You attempted to play snooker with Cassian, well beyond the scope of your ability. After playing and losing a few rounds with him, you sat at the bar away from his ridicule, allowing him to play more challenging opponents.

You sat cross-legged on the bar stool absent-mindedly tracing circles along the rim of your glass of caramel colour liquor. A rough hand found its way to your thigh, snapping your attention to the wall-like Fae it belonged to. 

“He-y it's the Night’s se-xy daughteeer, hey baaaby” The slur of words matched the smothering stench of centuries of whiskey leaving his wrinkled mouth. 

“Um Hi” You pushed his hand down roughly before it returned just as quickly and much higher, now squeezing your thigh making you tense. The much older Fae came closer to your face, leaning and whispering drunken inappropriate schemes in your ear. You scoffed in utter disgust, shoving him completely back from you. 

“Hey Prin-cess, you don’t fucking do that! Come here!” He almost spat at you, roughly catching you by the waist and pulling you off the stool. His fingers buried into your skin and you found it difficult to slip out of his vice-grip-like hands.

A hand laid flat on his shoulder from behind as he grunted to being interrupted. He turned to meet Cassian fist straight into his glass jaw sending him cold to the floor. You found yourself gasping, no one else reacting in the busy bar used to Illyrian antics. 

“Cassian!”

“Come on, we’re going” he caught your wrist and pulled you from the bar, stepping over the creep's body as you were pulled along. You hurriedly slipped on your jacket, the freezing breeze of the night burning your skin as you were pulled into the baltic night.

“Cass, slow down, you're going to take my arm out of the socket” you groaned at the slight pain he was causing you as you found it difficult to keep up with his rapid pace back down the service lane. 

“Such a fucking asshole”

“I was handling it Cass!”

“Oh yeah YN, really looked like that” you huffed at his sarcasm, anger growing in both of you the further you got from the bar. 

“Get off my case fucking hell”

“He could have run off with you”

“So?! What does it even matter to you?! Seriously Cass, slow down, you're not racing a Naga!”

“It does matter to me! I don’t want some ancient creep all over you” Cassian continued his marching in front of you, your wrist firmly caught. 

“You're the same when any male talks to me! You’re worse than Rhys!” You were sick of it, sick of being treated like some wounded bird they needed to protect, the thought caused the anger to grow in Cassian.

“THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANY MALE TALKING TO YOU LIKE THAT!”

“WHY!? WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER YOU!” Cassian suddenly dug his heels into the snow causing you to crash into the back of him giving you a bit of a fright. Cassian span around, releasing your wrist in exchange for your hips, your hands instinctively draping across his shoulders as he pulls you forward in the falling snow to meet your lips hungrily. The cold was leached from your bodies as you basked in the glow of one another. 

“Cass you just kissed me”

“I just kissed you” You both had shock painting your faces before locking eyes and reconnecting hungrily again. 

“If anyone touches you like that again I’ll kill them” You nodded quickly to his protective stern words, kissing him deeply again. 

“Ahem” Azriel’s voice separated you both as he stood with hands on his hips glaring at the two of you, clearly having just been out for his own run along the service lane. 

“Az-” He only raised a gloved hand to you. 

“I don’t want to know any of the goings on between you two, ever, it will make me an accessory to a murder when Rhysand finds out” You both nodded slowly in reply before Azriel dragged a hand down his face. 

“Now, the three of us are going to walk home and the three of us will never speak about this again” Azriel continued, gesturing with his arm for you to walk ahead. You looked from Cassian to the Shadowsinger who only raised an eyebrow, you sighed before following his direction and walking ahead of the two. 

“You’re a dead man Cass” Azriel whispered once you were out of earshot.

“I know” “What is with you and their family, next thing you’ll be sleeping with Rhysand’s mother” “How do you know that didn’t already happen” Cassian was fighting for his life to bring back an air of silliness to the night and Azriel happily obliged, shoving his smirking brother across the path. 

“This is different Az” he rejoined his side quickly. 

“I know, it’s always been different between you two, doesn’t mean your funeral will be any less of a sure thing” The Shadowsinger smirked.

—-----------------------

The next couple of weeks became like a full-time job for Azriel and he wasn’t sure exactly when he had interviewed for the job. He spent a large amount of his free time running interference for you and Cassian, distracting Rhysand to allow you both to steal away moments together. It was beginning to exhaust him not to mention sicken him that he spent so much time focusing on Cassian’s love life that he forgot his own. 

The four of you sat around the corner table of the very tavern that three months previously you had been pursued. Azriel sat next to Rhysand as if by chance but very much planned so that you and Cassian may sit next to each other. 

“So anyways we’ve been sleeping together for some time now but I think it’s time to cut her loose-” Rhysand beamed at the telling of his conquests while you fought the urge to roll your eyes at your brother's hypocrisy “-What about you Cass? Any lovely ladies on the go?” Rhysand innocently questioned before taking a deep drink.

“Ehh yeah I suppose you could say that” Your chin sank to your chest, attempting to bury the wide grin on your face. 

“Well go on, tell us about her” Rhysand pried, Azriel’s eyes trying to find anywhere else to look at other than the red on Cassian’s cheeks” “I don’t think-” “-Oh come on Cass, since when have you been coy about your conquests?”

“Cauldron boil me” Azriel whispered under his breath, your foot sharply meeting his shin.

“I just think I should keep that private” Cassian spoke over Azriels audible pain. “From me? I heard you tell Azriel that you never wanted to leave the bed with this mystery female, so how come I’m not privy to the information?” You took a deep swig at your brother's playful prying, wishing the ground to swallow you up.

“I just don’t think you’d want to hear about-” “-I clearly do, tell me, tell me about this so-called best sex you’ve ever had, how you make her c-” “-For all that is good and Gods given Rhysand please do not finish that sentence!” Azriel cut across quickly as you inhaled your drink, choking slightly. Cassian rapidly tapped your back as Azriel and Rhysand began to bicker. 

“Are you okay?” Cassian whispered to you, searching your greying face for colour as it flushed back to your cheeks. He took your hand softly under the table, his thumb sending soothing circles across your skin. You looked up to Cassian with your glassy eyes, a small smile growing on your face at the look of adoration you received. The two of you looked quickly then to the silence that leaked from the other side of the table. Rhysand looked between the two of you, his own face now looking like he had been the one starved of air. Azriel covered his eyes with a hand, trying to think of any way to come back from this and what was about to happen. The table fell to an almost unnerving silence as Rhysand processed in real time before an equally unnerving laugh left him. 

“Oh no no no no” he shook his head while laughing, you glancing worriedly to Cassian at your brother's seemingly newfound deliria. 

“Rhysand…” You tried but your brother just kept shaking his head while laughing. 

“Oh no no no no” His laugh only got louder, Azriel daring to look at the Son of Night from behind his hand. 

“I’d say you have a 15-second head start” Azriel whispered across the table to Cassian who looked bewildered at the reaction. Rhysand rolled up his sleeves, his laughing continuing as he took a deep drink from his tall glass. 

“Maybe 10 seconds” Azriel added, Cassian needing no further invitation to bolt away. He made it as far as the edge of the village before Rhysand came in hot from behind him, you and Azriel trailing desperately. 

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Rhysand bellowed, tackling Cassian to the ground as they rolled in the slush of the last snow of Winter. 

“Rhys stop!” You went to separate them, Azriel pulling you back to his side. 

“Just, just leave them go YNN” he sighed, knowing this was years in the making. The two warriors rolled, Rhysand attempting to deliver blows that Cassian blocked. 

“Rhys-I’m-sorry!” Cassian managed through dodges. 

“My sister!” 

“Yes! Your sister! But my love! I love her!” Cassian rasped out, Rhysand’s hand finding his brother's throat as he gained the upper hand from above him. Rhysand released an ounce of pressure he had on the Illyrian before shooting a glance at you, a clear look of horror on your face. Rhysand allowed all the air from his lungs go before standing again, Cassian attempted to stand, only to meet the floor again with a shove from the future High Lord. He stayed down, thinking that was the best port of call.

“YN, really?” “Really” You found your own confidence, striding over the Cassian to meet his side on your knees. 

“How long?” 

“Three…almost four months” You admitted to your brother, pulling bits of moss from Cassian’s hair. 

“Four months?! And no one had any idea?” Azriel averted his eyes at Rhysand’s questioning. 

“We just wanted to see if it was serious before stressing you out Rhys” Cassain ran a sleeve over his bloodied lip. 

“And this is-this is serious? You’re not just fucking around Cassian because I swear to the Gods I will-” “-This isn’t fucking around Rhys, I love her” Cassian interrupted Rhysand’s worry. He wandered in a small circle, arms behind his back as he tilted his chin to the stars once again, taking a deep breath of the changing seasonal air. 

“Okay” Rhysand finally rocked his head back down to look at the two of you. 

“Just to say Rhys, I don’t care if you are okay or not with this, I love Cassian too and I don’t care if you are okay with it-” “-YN” Cassian dragged out your name like a whining child who was trying to stop the class pet from reminding the teacher about a test. 

“But, thank you” You kissed the top of Cassian’s head, his lip stitching together from the blowout.

“Oh Gods don’t do that in front of me!” Rhysand looked to the sky, the two of you laughing up at him. 

“Oh please Rhys, that’s nothing, these two would make you sick” Azriel laughed before the smile completely fell from his face. 

“You knew?” Rhysand glared towards the Shadowsinger.

“I ehh-” “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

“I’d say you have a 15-second head start my friend” Cassian laughed up from the slush-turned mud. Azriel gave a panicked laugh before meeting Rhysand’s serious eyes. 

“He’s the one doing your sister!” “Az! Traitor” You chuckled, Rhysand still not removing his eyes from Azriel until he shot off into the woods, Rhysand hot on his heels. You helped Cassian to stand again before walking hand in hand in the direction of home, happy to have that weight off your chests and happier to hold one another's weight in your arms.