P.Ā PETTIGREW Ā Ā Ā Ā ā±Ā Ā Ā peterpettigrcw
āi bloody knew it.ā he says with his own snort, shaking his head, watching his friend light his cigarette and hold out a hand for one for himself.Ā ābastard, you are.ā he says with his own cheeky smile. he would never admit it, but it was nice being able just to talk like this out in the open and not behind closed doors and in the quiet. it was easier, he thinks it might be the same for sirius. most of their conversations were held in the dark and in the quiet. he never minded it, in some ways peter was always a little secretive, not for his own benefit but for the benefit of others. he thinks maybe thatās why his teachers often found him untrustworthy, but he didnāt know if they just had projected what he should be because of people like james, sirius, remus, even lily were all brilliant and there was just something about peter that lacked what they had. he never cheated when it came to tests, he had decent marks, but he was just more cunning than he needed to be, held back bits of information because he wanted to see the whole thing before he could make up his mind. he reaches out to touch his friends shoulder and smile,Ā āi think adulthood is a scam, but if you ever want somewhere to breathe a little you can always come to my home for a bit. mumās been wondering where you lot have been.ā he lets him go now. he wouldnāt understand what it meant to live in a world like this, looking back briefly at the black estate, but he could certainly be there for his friends that needed him. peter wasnāt good at a lot of things, but he did love his friends more than anything and would do just about whatever for them.Ā
he doesnāt know how else to explain the last bit, he couldnāt exactly divulge what really happened, he had tried to keep it close to his chest, maybe afraid that if he said something then it would ruin whatever was left of it. he never liked secretsābut he had so many of them.Ā āitās complicated,ā he says shaking his head.Ā āyou know after i got attacked by mj i didnāt go home for a day, just couldnāt bring myself to do that knowing how my mum is,ā always worried about peter flying off the handle.Ā āi still feel the bind if i think about it hard enough,ā he didnāt know if it was the aftermath of what happened or some kind of anxiety but he shakes his head as if heās clearing it out of his mind for good.Ā āsure, but we have to take in the fact that my body is small.ā he says with another laugh shaking his head.Ā āi feel like that would just weigh me down for good. maybe thatās what you want.ā he teases, hitting his shoulder.Ā
Ā Ā ā Ā Ā š¢ššššš”āšš¢šĀ šššĀ š”šššš¦ ,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā howĀ iĀ everĀ evenĀ Ā gotĀ Ā youĀ isĀ aĀ Ā wonder ,Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā siriusĀ grins ,Ā Ā shakingĀ hisĀ headĀ asĀ heĀ movesĀ toĀ tapĀ ofĀ hisĀ Ā smoke .Ā Ā heĀ turnsĀ toĀ giveĀ peterĀ aĀ softerĀ smileĀ atĀ theĀ offer ,Ā Ā theĀ reassuranceĀ Ā neededĀ Ā evenĀ ifĀ heĀ knowsĀ itāsĀ foolishĀ toĀ everĀ Ā doubtĀ .Ā Ā heādĀ honestlyĀ placeĀ Ā betsĀ Ā onĀ peteāsĀ momĀ beatingĀ Ā hisĀ ownĀ Ā ifĀ itĀ everĀ cameĀ toĀ provingĀ Ā affectionĀ Ā .Ā Ā but .Ā Ā heĀ stillĀ isnātĀ Ā herĀ Ā son ,Ā Ā wouldnātĀ Ā dreamĀ ofĀ takingĀ thatĀ titleĀ awayĀ fromĀ peter ,Ā Ā evenĀ ifĀ brothersĀ Ā existĀ Ā heĀ feelsĀ itāsĀ almostĀ notĀ theĀ sameĀ āĀ Ā havingĀ Ā someoneĀ Ā comeĀ inĀ andĀ receiveĀ whatĀ shouldĀ beĀ Ā yours .Ā Ā andĀ maybeĀ thatāsĀ hisĀ ownĀ upbringingĀ speaking ,Ā Ā whispersĀ ofĀ rightsĀ andĀ Ā power ;Ā Ā butĀ heĀ canātĀ shakeĀ itĀ enoughĀ toĀ feelĀ anyĀ moreĀ thanĀ theĀ mereĀ Ā comfortĀ Ā atĀ theĀ Ā possibility .Ā Ā soĀ heĀ says ,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā iāllĀ keepĀ thatĀ inĀ mind ,Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ leavesĀ itĀ atĀ that .Ā Ā siriusĀ Ā hasĀ Ā beenĀ doingĀ better ,Ā Ā afterĀ all ,Ā Ā whenĀ itĀ comesĀ toĀ playingĀ hisĀ Ā cardsĀ .Ā Ā heĀ canĀ seeĀ hisĀ parentsĀ areĀ almostĀ Ā skittishĀ Ā withĀ howĀ Ā fineĀ Ā heāsĀ been .Ā Ā howĀ Ā presentĀ .Ā Ā theĀ lookĀ getsĀ almostĀ Ā smugĀ onĀ walburga ,Ā too .Ā Ā asĀ ifĀ sheĀ thinksĀ thatāsĀ Ā herĀ doing ,Ā Ā whenĀ siriusĀ isĀ honestlyĀ justĀ tiredĀ ofĀ itĀ all ,Ā Ā andĀ wouldĀ takeĀ utterĀ Ā quietĀ Ā overĀ anythingĀ else ,Ā Ā lestĀ itĀ leadĀ toĀ theĀ realĀ repercussionĀ ofĀ losingĀ whatĀ heĀ hasĀ Ā āĀ Ā likeĀ heĀ almostĀ did .Ā Ā lessonsĀ Ā learned ,Ā Ā heĀ supposes ,Ā Ā fromĀ takingĀ moreĀ thanĀ aĀ fewĀ thingsĀ oneĀ stepĀ tooĀ far .Ā Ā so .Ā Ā heĀ shouldnātĀ reallyĀ Ā needĀ Ā theĀ help ,Ā Ā orĀ comfort .Ā Ā hopefully .Ā Ā ifĀ thingsĀ keepĀ goingĀ theĀ wayĀ theyĀ are .Ā Ā ideally ,Ā Ā hisĀ parentsĀ neverĀ Ā askĀ Ā tooĀ muchĀ andĀ heĀ Ā inheritsĀ Ā whatĀ heĀ doesĀ andĀ abolishesĀ theĀ Ā lineĀ Ā onĀ hisĀ name .Ā Ā regulusĀ canĀ keepĀ doingĀ whateverĀ theĀ Ā hellĀ Ā heĀ wantsĀ Ā āĀ Ā andĀ maybeĀ thatĀ Ā isĀ Ā forĀ Ā theĀ Ā best .Ā Ā isnātĀ thatĀ whatĀ heāsĀ alwaysĀ wanted ,Ā Ā anyways ?Ā Ā butĀ thatĀ exactĀ trainĀ ofĀ thoughtĀ barelyĀ helpsĀ Ā calmĀ Ā hisĀ nextĀ oneĀ -Ā peterāsĀ answerĀ aboutĀ itĀ beingĀ Ā complicatedĀ -Ā theĀ snippetsĀ comingĀ togetherĀ inĀ aĀ wayĀ heĀ didnātĀ findĀ Ā nearlyĀ Ā asĀ enjoyable .Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā when Ā you Ā say Ā attack , Ā ā Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ begins ,Ā Ā slower . Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā pete ,Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā sirius Ā narrows Ā his Ā eyes . Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā whatĀ Ā exactlyĀ Ā did Ā crabbe Ā do Ā to Ā you ? Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā still ,Ā Ā howeverĀ āĀ Ā siriusĀ isĀ quickĀ toĀ shiftĀ atĀ theĀ quipĀ wormtailĀ Ā throwsĀ Ā him ,Ā Ā lipsĀ quirkingĀ inĀ humourĀ beforeĀ hisĀ eyesĀ Ā dartĀ Ā overĀ peteāsĀ form . Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā areĀ weĀ stillĀ talkingĀ aboutĀ theĀ Ā ratĀ Ā ?Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ prods ,Ā Ā comingĀ intoĀ aĀ fullĀ Ā grinĀ Ā now .Ā Ā heĀ refusesĀ toĀ Ā budgeĀ Ā atĀ theĀ hitĀ onĀ hisĀ shoulder ,Ā Ā comingĀ inĀ Ā closerĀ Ā instead .Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā onlyĀ ifĀ youĀ askĀ . Ā ā
