me looking through logs from when i was 12: oh haha 😄
logs:
me: 😦
todays bird
Sade Olutola
Acquired Stardust
cherry valley forever
wallacepolsom

Product Placement

titsay

izzy's playlists!
Three Goblin Art
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies

Janaina Medeiros
Stranger Things
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

⁂
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
One Nice Bug Per Day
Not today Justin
seen from Malaysia

seen from Uruguay

seen from South Korea
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from Italy

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Trinidad & Tobago
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
@acetane
me looking through logs from when i was 12: oh haha 😄
logs:
me: 😦

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i drove mom to the correctional facility in seattle this morning in rush hour traffic and that was horrible. we got lost, she gave such bad directions and fucked the drive up so much that i had a small breakdown on the way >_> anD i brought two (2) knives there bc i forgot they were in my bag. luckily i was able to just leave them in a locker before going thru security but holy shit. im terrible
we caught the tail end of the hearing and the lawyer came out to tell us that he was going to be released but we didnt hear any of the hearing or see dad so we went him and waited etc etc
ok dad was released 2day and is staying in the other house! theres a contact order (no contact w mom until the next trial whcih is in oCTOBER) but me and betsy will be hanging out at that house for dinner until its lifted. hes okay, was pretty upbeat to be out, we had dinner with him! they took our firearms for safety and all. thats it im so tired im so so tired im done
mom started stomping around and whining that ‘this can’t be happening’ (and dads hearing got delayed a day so. tomorrow at 9:15. and she keeps hovering around to complain and sit there uncomfortably.
do you know who gets to mom’s personal reference letter and her letter of confirmation that she doesnt want to press charges? me! do you know who has to deal with mom and dad and betsy’s emotional downfallings? me! do you know who’s seconds away from gouging their own eyes out if mom doesnt stop whining about how her perfect life is falling apart and that dad will hate her forever?? me! its me!!! its me!!!!!
ah yes for records sake all that i know is:
- mom said something about me/me moving out/worrying about my life and eventually it escalated into a fight (< 12:00 pm)
- gardeners who work on our lawns called the police, likely due to dad losing it and lots of screaming (12:00 pm)
- police come, mom asks them not to take him, says she doesnt want to press charges because he isnt guilty. police redo his report and replace it with a blank one (??) (but 12:30 pm)
- dad calls me from fac. phone, but i’m not there to receive the call (insignificant) (12:43 pm)
- dad is processed at king county correctional facility, calls james (family lawyer who lives in neighborhood) and james in turn searches for a lawyer familiar with the area to represent dad (1:02 pm exactly)
- mom makes calls to police station, various lawyers, etc. almost no response. communicates with joe rome, the lawyer james recommended, dad’s records haven’t shown up online yet. dad has called the home phone twice but the phone fucks up the first time and hangs up on mom while she tries to set up an account the second time. (<4:00 pm)
- dad’s records finally show up online. at some point james and jow learn that his hearing is at 8:30 am tomorrow. don’t know where. (4:00 pm)
- mom is on hold online, trying to speak to a representative (6:00 pm to 7:00 pm)
- i get home and find out. dad calls and asks to speak to me, tells me when the hearing is, to tell james, that he’s released tomorrow at the very earliest, and that he would like his CPAP machine. (7:30 pm)
- i walk to james’ house to tell him, he already knows everything. still don’t know where his court hearing is. (8:00 pm)
- ive gone to like 30 different sites and cant find out. the hearing’s likely gonna be held in the King County Courtroom, a courtroom a floor below or above the correctional fac. alright thats all folks

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img 1:
mom: I’m surprised you found where he was so quickly. I was trying all afternoon but it took hours.
me: mom i stalk its what i do
img 2: didnt find where dads hearing was gonna be but i did find out that in 2002 there was a thomas campbell who had a kid named ada and he and his wife were working out the restraining order and childcare worksheets in king county. the county that i live in. wild
EERILY RELATABLE BLOGGER I STALK FOUND OUT AN EERILY RELATABLE BLOGGER THEY STALK LIKES SOMETHING EERILY RELATABLE AND ITS A HOMESTUCK SHIP IUSED TO LOVE. GREAT. GREAT
oh and last night i had a dream where i was someone elses imaginary friend (>_> great) and she was this white girl in her 20s w/ strawberry blonde hair in a straight-cut bob that was parted in the middle and everything looked like it was taking place in an artsy movie from 1998 and we were in her kitchen and she was about to do some public speaking thing but she did a line of coke on the kitchen counter and then had a seizure and then after panicking and trying to save her i, somehow, went out to do her speech for her (because i Knew It Was What I Had To Do For Her) in a black tux, a white shirt with black buttons, a black bowtie, and an simple gold choker w/ a gold laurel brooch on the front. still being an imaginary friend. doing public speaking.
i assume it was really representative of me taking hold of her body and doing the speech for her, but i looked like me and it was . a very film major dream. like pulp fiction but with imaginary friends in tuxes
i wont lie i am still weirded out about the like. slip of paper that disappeared under the fridge thats kinda atypical. i didnt check tho. im not getting snatched up by the fridge troll
betsy, after i gave them advice on something they were concerned about, as i always do: You’re so good at this therapy thing... You might even be...
me: no
betsy: ... Better than...
me: don’t say it kid
betsy: ... My therapist...

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i like how thomas managed to look just a little bit better than all my selfies look. im so easy to beat that even my imaginary friend is managing
pictures ive taken while checking photobooth before video calling chiro >_>
therapist: The responses you gave to this questionnaire when you first came in for treatment definitely qualified you for depression.
me: haha really
therapist: Yes. You scored a thirty-five, which is ranked as severe.
me: HAH
remember that blogger that i thought higher powers were directing me to because we occasionally had similar quirks or oddly specific timelines right down to od’ing on ibuprofen and increasing bpd-related posts. well they’re having an upswing in mood and productivity lately and doing that Relatable thing again
i love going to sleep not knowing anything

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the dichotomy between being honest and letting people know what they’re getting and also not wanting to give them documentation of the fact that they’re a much better person than you are and risking them actually finding out
I HAD THERAPY HOMEWORK FOR THERAPY TOMORROW