... and other things (farno farno)

Someone reached out and offered their home for two months so back up to Seattle I go at the end of the month.

I am grateful for a roof over my head. I am thankful that someone thought of me in this time.

Last night’s sunset.

I always thought someone had the answers. No one does. We all do.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to navigate this unemployment. I know how to apply, reach out, interview, say thanks.. I’d love the opportunity but also what now?

I’ve mentioned previously that my time in Palm Springs was always to be temporary. I was thinking about going back to the PNW but that was assuming I’d still be employed when the lease was up.

No job. No home. I have enough to get me by for a year if I were in an apartment but.. no job to verify (yet!). So I’m in this Airbnb until 5/8 a) because I can afford it b) intentions to apply and c) more time to focus on what I want. But what *do* I want..?! Where do I want to be?

I know this:

I try to refocus. Take a walk, work on my painting. Breathe and center.

I’m in limbo and need to find a place to live. If I don’t find work in Talent Acquisition/HR Ops I’m fiiiiine working a couple part-time jobs. I’ve been isolated in my journey for so long now and my need for community and roots is tremendous. But where? I’m in the middle of the middle of the desert right now and I don’t think this is my forever place.

But also, I only have the little I have and what the hell is going on? I mean - I know. I see, I read, but what the fuck, man? So, can someone just say “hey, this is legitimately the end” so we can just get on and enjoy what’s there til it’s our time to be blown to smithereens? Fuck.