Asexual Visibility Outside of N.A

Hi! My name is Stella and I wrote my senior paper about asexuality and the asexuality spectrum. I previously asked all of you to take a survey about your personal definitions/experiences with asexuality. I included that in my paper and that helped SO much. 

I am now doing a project about asexuality- I’m going to be making a film. And I need YOUR help (as long as you’re asexual or identify as something in the asexual spectrum)! If you aren’t asexual or identify as anything in the spectrum, you can still reblog this to spread awareness. 

So, the questions you need to answer (in a video!) are:

What is your personal definition of asexuality?

Why is asexuality important to you?

Do you think asexuality needs to be talked about? Why or why not?

You can answer ONE or ALL of these questions, it’s up to you. Your video will be put in a film that I will present to my school of 300 people. So your face obviously will be shown.  By uploading a video, you are giving me permission to use your video for my film.

Please record a video, there’s no minimum length, but the maximum length is 4 minutes. The deadline to submit these videos are March 31st, 2016. 

Or they’ll give me that wide-eyed look after I explain it. “Really, never?” They’ll ask, and I just know they want to “fix” me.

And I’m only now realizing how deeply ace phobia runs, and that it’s not okay. And it’s all because it’s not in the media, and society values sex above romance. If we don’t want sex, do we have any value at all?

not knowing about asexuality

being curious and genuinely asking about it

things that are not okay:

dismissing asexuality as a whole

saying someone is attention seeking for it

After witnessing quite my fair share of acephobic content in fanfics or general fiction, I decided to come up with this helpful little guide so that futur writers can be made aware of potential mistakes/lack of knowledge on that matter, so that any fandom may become a safer place for Asexuals out there.

1- NEVER associate Asexuality with a mental illness. Wether it be depression or a development disorder like autism. A character can have depression and be Asexual, but those things are NOT to be associated together. Asexuality won’t “appear” when a character develop depression nor will it “disappear” once it is cured.

2- Asexuality is NOT demisexuality. ( it is in the same spectrum but not the same thing.) No matter if the character is in a relationship or not, their asexuality is not affected by it in any way. A character won’t “ develop ” sexual attraction upon meeting the other half of your otp…A demisexual ( or Grey-ace) can,however and thus should be labelled as such instead of Asexual. There are way too many fics out there that make Asexuality like something that can be “cured” upon meeting the right person and this strenghten the aweful stereotype that Asexuality can be “fixed” and you “ just haven’t met the right person yet.”

3- Avoid generalization and saying things like “ all teens are horny ” “ oh it’s normal, he is a teenager, of course he wants sex…etc” not only is it a gross generalisation but also affects people having natural low libido,a health issue that affected their sex drive all their life or teens struggling with their identity.

4- Never say shits like: “ It’s human to desire sex ” “ it’s normal in a relationship and a prerequisite ” “ they are in love and thus MUST want sex ” or have a non human character become more “ human” through sex. Not only is it offensive as fuck to people who can’t/don’t have sex for whatever reason ( medical or otherwise…) but it dehumanize them and Asexuals/sex repulsed people as a whole.

5- Asexuality comes in many flavors. Some are sex-positive, some are sex indifferent and some are sex repulsed. A sex positive asexual will desire sex for reasons having nothing to do with sexual attraction. ( Desire for physical intimacy, to please their partner, to have children, to take care of their libido should it apply, etc…) It’s important to it be known what is the character’s stand on the matter.

6- Asexuals are not necessarily virgins.

7- Following the last point, it also doesn’t mean they can’t be either( no matter their age!). One can know they are Ace without having sexual experiences. ( just like any gay or straight individual can know it without having to have sex.)

8- Asexuals are not “ naive ” “ childish” “ innocent ” individuals… People need to stop with the infantilization of Asexuals/sex repulsed/sex inexperienced indivuals…

9- A libido/sex drive is unaffected by Asexuality. Some asexual are libidoist, some are not.( Meaning they can either have a need for sex that is simply targetted at no one or have no need at all.) A libido is what is affected by health, stress level,mental health state or hormones. A non libidoist simply have no libido or verrrrrrrrrrry little.

10- Asexuals can and do read your smutty fics. Just because your story is a PWP or very sex-oriented doesn’t mean you can write acephobic contents, thinking no Ace will read it… Some will avoid such stories but some will enjoy it/will want to read it anyway, if only for the visual brain stimuli,because the story is good and in character or to take care of their libido… Whatever reasons, nothing should excuse writting acephobic content willingly.

Liam ([email protected]) submitted:

As time goes on, I hope to see more narratives, because asexuality in general appears to be an umbrella term for much more. With grey aces, aromantics, etc.