ACCOUNTABILITY MIRROR

Being thrown into cold water is not a pleasant experience. It’s frightening and overwhelming from time to time. But with it comes growth. You learn to transcend yourself. Your own limitations and insecurities that you thought would never be able to overcome. Sometimes you also fail. We have this perceived notion that failure is a bad thing because it can be scary. The prospect of failure alone paralyses. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret. Regret of missed opportunities. Because then you really feel like a failure. Your coworker got the promotion because they rose up to the occasion and not you? Your best friend got the one you fancied because you didn’t have the guts to ask them out? Now you have to watch those people live the life you wanted. Feel disappointed? Good! Take this feeling and use it. Use it to push yourself into the deep end and teach yourself how to swim. So that next time, once an opportunity presents itself, you’re the one that leaves everyone in the dust. You’re the one being praised for achievement. Don’t fear the unknown and the new. Fear the unending possibilities being undiscovered by your lack of initiative.

WEEK 4 of 2021

My break up 8 years ago still affects me and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. Waking up to the harsh reality of the world after living in a comfortable bubble seems crushing at first but is a very essential part of growing up. The illusion of security and safety can be detrimental and utterly devastating for ones life. Trusting without confirming, believing without seeing, loving without experience. This one heartbreak caused me to re-evaluate my priorities and the values I regard as important for me. Learn. From. Hardship. What does betrayal bring? Pain. Despair. Nihilism. But also motivation and a driving force to out-do this supposed friend, partner or lover and show them, that their opinion of you was wrong. You're not someone who can just be played and thrown to the garbage. You are strong. You have a gift now thanks to them. Experience. The experience to know better. Determination. The determination to be better than the image once perceived of you and to excel whatever limitation has been set upon you. Your vice now becomes your virtue.

WEEK 03 of 2021

I may not be super ripped nor am I super huge. But you know what I am? I am determined. Determined to be better. Even if just by a little bit. If I looked at my phone 26 times at work today. Tomorrow I will try to reduce it to 25. If I'm too lazy to do the dishes, I'll try to trick my brain by implementing a reward system. You wanna watch sports? First the dishes. Play video games? Take out the trash first. Earn your leisure. It makes the reward taste so much sweeter. It may not work 100% of the time, but maybe 20-30%, which is already more than 0. At least there is some kind of progress. If you crave a burger, don't go to a fast food restaurant where you don't know what's in there. Go to the grocery store. Get the buns, the meat, the onions, the salad, the pickles and prepare it yourself. Even micro-adjustments shift you little by little in the right direction. Don't try to force a 180 turn and get fed up with the result after a week or a day. Your mind will rebel against it. Your body will rebel against it. Sometimes even your friends and family will rebel against it. Monumental change is not achieved over night. Don't try to achieve everything at once. But be better tomorrow than you were today.

UPDATE WEEK 02

In 2020 I suffered from a lack of perspective. Surrounded by people who have a different lifestyle and mindset can cripple you. So I left. Having a change of mind is not wrong. But you have to be honest to yourself and be prepared for the judgement from the ones around you. Sometimes you have exchange your environment all together. Move to a city no one knows you. Apply for a new job. Change the sports club where you're known as the quiet person. And then start anew.