i havenāt written in a long time, and this is an idea iāve had for a while.
iām dedicating this drabble to @accidentally-a-writer because theyāre going through some tough things right now and i want to try and help them feel just a little bit better by giving them something (sorry this is sad) :)
TW// implied depression and suicidal ideation
āAre you feeling any better today?ā
Alexanderās head snapped up from the computer screen. His eyes met Johnās which were laced with concern and some other emotion Alex couldnāt pin point.
āI asked if youāve felt well today.ā
Right. That was the question. No. He hadnāt felt well today. He hadnāt felt well in a long time. His brain never truly felt right anymore. What was the question..?
A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped.
āDo you want me to stay with you?ā
He shook his head. āNo, go to class. Iāll be fine on my own.ā
He wasnāt fine on his own. As soon as the dorm door closed behind John, Alexander felt a pit of dread settle deep in his gut. He looked back at his laptop and the blank Doc that was open.
He slammed it shut. He couldnāt do this today. It wasnāt right anymore. Nothing was truly right anymore.
It was cold. But he didnāt really feel the cold anymore. He never really felt anything anymore. Should he feel chilly right now?
Heās standing on a bridge, itās above a large drop to rushing water. Itās probably cold.
His phone vibrates. He ignores it. His fingers are too cold to move anyway. He leans over the bridge. A fall from this hieght would probably kill him. Hm.
His phone vibrates. He starts and looks around. Oh.
He walks back to the dorm and is met with Johnās concerned eyes once more.
And heāll do it again tomorrow.