Accessible Bandom

FIRST SET

(Beginning before Over Fields)

[narrator]: Hello my friends, good morning. It is another beautiful day in Draag. A chance, once more, to get things right; and push beyond our best. So, rise with the sun, and take your medication. Here is your schedule for today, and we will start by observing the Draag National Anthem.

(Before sharpest lives)

[Gerard, reading off paper]: Good be here, it’s nice to evening. Good evening, it’s nice to be here.

(Before wttbp)

[Narrator]: The humour to think about learning to be what you hate, and learning to do what you fear, is that someone you’ve been your whole life doing something you’ve always been good at could feel so entirely new. That brutality, so second nature, could feel so alien, so foreign to you; it’s astounding to witness firsthand. So let’s remind you, for a moment, exactly what you are and the thing that you do best. The lesson is, a man knows how to forgive, but a leader knows how to instruct. And since, through pain we learn, let’s be student then be a teacher. Now, [indistinct], use your words and use them to [indistinct].

(Before cancer)

[narrated from Clerk reading a postcard]: Hello from Gubrick. It’s really not that dirty here. You don’t notice the smell after a few days. Sadly, there’s nothing I can do for you. All my love, Dad.

[mama interlude]

[introducing dagger part]

[Gerard]: How are you good people here tonight? All the way from the Catskills, I see. It’s been a long flight for me, I need a drink. You guys are a lively bunch. Oh, you’re laughing already? What’s so funny? Is it my suit? I know, it’s a mess. My suit’s a mess. That’s what happens when your manager books your plane ticket in the garbage hold. That’s what fucking happens, you know what I mean? So anyways, me and the fucking boys—hold on, I need a drink before I tell this story. So anyways, me and the boys wanted to start out tonight with—not jokes, no jokes, just a song, you know what I mean? It’s a real special song. I learned this one from a friend a long time ago. When I met him, the first time, he says to me, ‘I like your shoes.’ And I said, you don’t got any fucking shoes at all! Jokes. Jokes. But he leans over to me, and whispers in my ear, this is what he says…

[introducing Sylvia, or, magic assistant]

[Gerard]: Now how’s about that song? What’d you think about that? Alright, alright, alright, alright, you’re probably asking who she is. This is the part of the show where we do magic. And we’re gonna do a magic trick. Alright? This brave young lady right here, from [somewhere] Michigan, a very far off land, is our assistant. For all things magical spells. And she is gonna let us make her disappear. We’re gonna need your help. It’s just a little one, two, one two three four. But if you’re ready I think we can try it. Oh, by the powers vested in me by His Arcane Majesty, The Great Gazoo!

[during the big sky]

[Narrator]: There is a planet, so it spins, and it’s moving so fast it’s not worried at all. Very busy. People, people hurry. And the child who has the chalk and sand, let me see you. So we see them. We say, let me see who loves you. As the chalk, it moves in circles. Many circles. Great big circles. Hugging arms and smiling eyes. And we deal with the child. Let’s subtract, and again, and what if we subtract them? Who is left to love you? There is only the hands that wipe the chalkboard clean.

[before Sleep]

[Narrator]: I see. All this time, you are making drawings someone else must now erase. But I am glad that we are friends, and that now you understand—this is the worst day of your life, but the first day of yourself.

[before disenchanted]

[narrator]: Hello, my friend. I see you. But no, we’ve never met. They gave to me a picture, and I’ve had it quite some time. In fact, before you said a word I’ve always heard your voice. And you don’t mind? That makes me smile. There is one last seat, and one more ticket. It’s hiding in your coat. Yes, you, you’re here. So take your seat, get comfy, here is my hand.

[before famous last words]

[Real Boy]: A figure sits in a chair made of wood. And it’s sobbing. You think it’s you. You’re pretty sure it’s you. But it’s weak. It’s broken. And it’s covered in gasoline. Now, picture yourself.

SECOND SET

[before nanana]

[Gerard]: We’re My Chemical Romance from New Jersey.

[before planetary go]

[Gerard]: Fuck yeah. No, we’re not stopping yet. We’re gonna say some shit, but now yet. Wanna keep fucking going. [indistinct] How do you feel ‘bout that, Peru? Alright, let’s fucking go.

[before ghost of you]

[Gerard]: Alright, Lima, how the fuck are you! Alright, alright, we’re gonna, uh, play something off Revenge in a minute, but, we wanna, uh, we got some people we wanna thank, so, we have, well, always with us, we have Jarrod Alexander, Jamie Muhoberac, toured with us a very long fucking time, even though this time they’re kinda different characters. But, we have our medical staff, Kayleigh Goldsworthy, Clarice Jensen, who played a song after the first set, and Tucker fucking Rule. And the band that were nice enough to come out with us on this incredible fucking tour, The fucking Hives. I would go to this show. I would even stay for My Chemical Romance. Really honoured that they came out with us. One of the greatest fucking rock bands of all time. Alright. Introductions, out of the way. Let’s make it spooky. Gonna make it spooky! [shushes] [shushes again] [shushes a third time] Light it up, Peru.

[before give em hell kid]

[Gerard]: Thank you so much. Boxspring. Man, that was like, forty-seven, forty-seven little boxes.

[before headfirst for halos]

[Gerard]: Quiero some agua. Hola, ¿qué tal? Failed Spanish three times, but always got the accent really good. Dunno. That’s it, that’s all I got. I failed it a whole bunch of times. Had to go to fucking summer school. Because I’m stupid. I know, I know I’m not stupid. But thank you for your concern. So, Frank put the setlist together, pretty much always does, and, he put this one on here from our first fucking record. We’re really fucking excited to do it. Fuck it, let’s do it. This one’s called ‘Headfirst For Halos’. Get ‘em up, Lima! We did this back in the day. [waving hands] It’s slow. Gotta be like water.

[before boy divison]

[Gerard]: Okay. Oh, was talking about Cheeseburger in Paradise, oh right. So, I keep a list of really excellent murder music. And you know, it’s not like I would—I would play this music to murder people, I don’t ever plan on doing that, but, should, let’s say, you know, I write a film or there’s a TV show, like, there was this scene in, uh, the first episode of Umbrella Academy where Five kills all these people in the, in the, um, donut shop, and I was like, please use ‘Daydream Believer’ by The Monkees. I love them, please use—this is—this is perfect murder music, ‘Istanbul’ is not on my murder music list, but you know what is now? Cheeseburger In fucking Paradise. This is kinda on the list. I think. What do you say we play it? Let’s do it.

[before vampires]

[Gerard]: I didn’t even know scary shit was about to happen, I just said that for fun. But scary shit is about to happen. Trust me, my friend, trust me—trust—trust me, my friends. But anyway, it’s really nice to be here. Alright, Lima, let’s make it spooky. My favourite. My favourite, hand-selected, favourite song.

[before Helena]