Void

🔮 Who has existed the longest?

🛍️ Who’s the newest?

🧬 Who’s in front right now?

🧼 If you have fictives, what source do you have the most from?

💿 What’s your current (approximate) headcount?

🎆 Whats a plural joke you find funny? (Or stupid)

🎲 An out-of-context thing you’ve heard in-sys recently

🎟️ How long have you known? How long have you suspected?

🫐 Do you have different art styles? Writing styles? Tones of voice?

💐 Is there anything you all collectively like? Collectively dislike?

🐬 What’s the most common color that appears in your system?

Perhaps he had a point in all his rotting nihilism, people die. I will die, he died. And what changed in the world? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If I die, would anything be different? No. I am but a petal in a pile of other petals. Why should I be happy, or sad, or angry at anything if no one cares?

It may be fleeting and pointless, but it holds a meaning unique to each. I do not wish to carve your path, but I encourage you to pave your own. Letting yourself be demoralised by such apathy and nihilism only makes life pointless. Wallowing in despair and guilt over something none could control is why you feel this way.

You may be a petal in a mound of others, but each petal is beautiful in its own way. Plucked from a flower who's fragrance brings delight. It may drift wherever the wind takes it, but it is up to you to dance in the breeze.

It may be a part of something greater, or a beauty in and of itself.

But who am I to lecture you on the ins and outs of propriety and humanity? The choice remains forever up to you to lay your own road, big brother.

As disheartening as brother Huan's demise was, it remains important that it is released and allowed to drift by.

But in terms of saving him, I tried too. I tried my utmost, but there was naught much I could've done at such a young age aside from warn him. So really, I understand your contempt and hatred for me.

Though as I say countless times, life has its significance only when you give it such. Dedicating yourself to one task and letting it shape you is where many fall.

All I ask is that you let brother Huan go. He was kind and selfless, yes, but all things come to an end. It's merely an inevitability one must accept. Let yourself wade in the waters of existence and find your own flow.

Me, @/alaska-nightrome, @/nitrogenreject (possibly?)

hate. let me tell you how much I've come to hate lei heng. a fictional fucking being has somehow brought me more grief and suffering than any strike or blow could ever. all because i'm clingy and pathetic. all because one specific person likes him.

i'm sorry for even feeling like this. i know i'm just shoving you away. and its fucking stupid. i push away the one person i want any semblance of connection to, any shred of affection. in a hopeless pursuit of something that'll never happen. you'd never love, nevermind love me in particular. ive never been 'your type'. i'll never be 'your type'. im stuck in a struggle i can't get out of. a cycle too deep. ive already shed too many tears over this, and I keep convincing myself it's too late to quit. it's thrown right under their nose that im obviously attracted, and all i got in return was 'Oh. I'm oblivious.' not even acknowledgement. just emphasis on the fact that they never even picked up what I was putting down.

but I still find myself drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I know doing this is just hurting myself, but I can't fucking help it.

.. but I bet you didn't even read half of this, did you? no. because you never read anything i send or post. i know you don't. you never have. you never will. you'll keep living in your delusions of 'lei heng will come back!! trust me he will!' even though not even H Corp.'s life insurance could bring him back. you'll leave me in the shadows like a toy your forgot about. a shirt you outgrew years ago. ive never been of any worth to you. you'll never see me like that.

im not even fucking bothered about keeping this on topic anymore, I just fucking hate you and your stupid delusions. but the more I hate the more I love.

I know you don't feel love. truth be told, I never wanted love. we never had to be romantic or whatever. i just needed anything. confirmation, closure, fucking anything. but you can't even give me that, can you? Not even a simple yes or no. just an 'I'm oblivious', then never spoke of again.

I've shed thousands of tears for you. lost my sanity in ways I couldn't even fathom. clawed at anything until my fingers bled. I got you into limbus company so that we could have a mutual subject to talk about in the hopes of growing closer to you, but no. All you do is talk about that Stupid. Fucking. Capo.