
if i look back, i am lost

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Jaskier dramatically packing up all his things in a checkered kerchief on the end of a stick, walking away only to pause and look back with tear filled eyes every few paces
Geralt sighing because this routine works on him every time and of course hes going to agree to anything the bard wants
"Let me write your history. Let me sing of your deeds, so the world finally gives you the honor you so truly deserve."
S3/E6 The Vampire Lestat
WHAT THE FUC...???!!! Did you all let out that ungodly gasp like I did?

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With My Last Breath - Chapter 27
Witcher/Bodyguard AU cross-over that fluctuates in ratings, but has generally settled into mature territory. Somehow, despite life and the World Cup, I managed to get this uploaded today: https://archiveofourown.org/works/68435071/chapters/235891801
Unconcealed (2579 words) by inexplicifics Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lambert (The Witcher)/Milena de Roggeven (Accidental Warlord Series - inexplicifics) Characters: Lambert (The Witcher), Milena de Roggeven (Accidental Warlord Series - inexplicifics), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Peril, Monsters, First Meetings, Canon-Typical Violence, Rescue Series: Part 41 of Inex's Not-Quite-February Ficlets Summary: Milena's godsmark means she'll never be married, but being sent off to a Temple might actually be the best thing that's ever happened to her. Or, of course, it could lead to deadly danger.
Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
🤣🤣🤣
the urge to write is like a cat meowing for dear life for someone to open the goddamn door, who then shows utter disinterest in said open door

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A certain feminine urge to give Geralt longer hair.
I firmly believe Jaskier has at least a dozen private, unreleased songs dedicated entirely to Geralt’s hair.
Like, the world will never hear them, but they definitely exist.
Geralt is not jealous.
He doesn't feel jealous. Geralt is a witcher; he doesn't have any emotions. A stoic monster hunter
Except that Geralt has gotten a new horse.
This Roach likes Jaskier more.
Geralt is totally not jealous of this.
Haven’t had a chance to watch the tutorial yet, but I’m seriously considering making this for my gf’s niece
Lambert: you got such a bad vitamin D deficiency all you can do is give the bard the -ick
Geralt: -_-
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

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snippet from a leak of the amazing devil’s new song they’ve been working on called ‘gold’ - https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8GuK945/
TikTok - Make Your Day
cuties :)