A Body Loving Mission

There are countless moments when I look at this “before” photo and wish that I, the girl on the right in the “after” photo, still looked like her. Then I remember that the “before” girl didn’t get to enjoy pizza with her closest friends. She came home every night and weighed herself, feeling worthless and helpless if the number hadn’t decreased. She spent hours reading fitness and weight loss tips that she could have spent with the people she loves. She was thin, but she was not happy.

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question! I am so sorry to hear that you’re worrying about this. 

To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t believe in “meant to be.” I believe that there are any number of people in this world that you can build a relationship with and even build a life with. And if somebody makes you very happy, (as long as you are safe with this person since that’s really the most important thing), then you can let go of the shoulds and clichés and societal pressures and just be happy. 

I felt great, that is, until a woman also shopping at the store approached me and said, “to be honest, that dress really isn’t flattering on you.” There was more to her opinion - something about my legs, how the outfit I wore into the store made me look slimmer than the dress I tried on, and a backhanded “sorry but I would want someone to tell me their opinion so I hope it’s okay I told you mine,” apology.

I cried for a minute in the dressing room and then went to the register and bought the dress. When the woman saw that I purchased the dress and was headed for the door, she called out, “Wow, good for you! You must have a STRONG personality.”

I said nothing. Too much confrontation, too hard in the moment. Now, however:

No, I didn’t want your opinion. No, it’s not okay for you to comment on my clothes, my body, my shape, my anything. Yes, I do have a strong personality. But that has nothing to do with the clothes I wear.