abigail-stan

[when Petra arrives]

Tara: I’d die for her.

Kat: I think I would too you.

Tara: Look at this. (holds up essay) “Suffocation: The Secret Life of a Gay Teenager.”

Grace: *points to Sammy*

Sammy: It wasn’t me!

Tara: A real life lesbian walks among us.

Grace: You don’t really look gay.

Sammy: What do you mean?

Grace: Just that you’re a bit … short.

Sammy: Well, there’s no height restrictions.

[dividing jobs to earn pocket money]

Tara: First, we have the tutoring and out of everyone, I thought you might be best suited to that, Sammy, because –

Sammy: I’m the brightest.

Tara: Well, in that conventional sort of way.

Sammy: :((

Tara: There’s also some baby-sitting. The child will be in bed so you should just about be able to manage that, Abs.

Abigail: Thanks. And you should just about be able to manage this. [sticks finger]

Tara: Always the lady.

Tara: There’s also some gardening, mowing a lawn etc. This will require a bit of muscle so … you should take that one, Grace.

Ben: No, it’s a man’s job, Tara. I’m a man.

Abigail: That’s debatable.

Ben: Well, I’m more of a man than Grace.

Grace: I do not accept that.

Tara: Fine. That leaves dog walking and washing a car.

Kat: Is it a Renault Clio?

Tara: No.

Ben: So you never really know people do you?

Ben: I've been going to this guy for three years

Sammy to Christian about Tara: Someone’s in love.

Christian: Shit, maybe I am. Bollocks!

-

Tara: Kat, you’ve got an Olympic record.

Kat: I’m the fastest under 18 to finish the Little Chef Olympic Breakfast.

-

[at the end of third year]