I’m supposed to be writing my assignment but gosh my brain feels like mush. My favourite lecturer will be grading it + I’ll be doing an oral exam with him, so I thought that would motivate me. Instead, I find it difficult to write literally anything. I’m paralysed in fear of him thinking I was a fraud last year for doing so well, I still don’t know how I achieved such high scores 🥲

Instead of working on the assignment I’m procrastinating by researching foreign language degrees, day-dreaming about picking up Japanese and German again, maybe continuing with Russian and then oh picking up Norwegian etc etc… In all my 5 years of uni I’ve never been happier than when I had language classes alongside my psychology degree. Remember two years ago I had admin issues, so I went to study French as I thought psychology wasn’t feasible anymore… Only for the psych program to make an exception for me, which meant I was studying 3 different university programs all at the same time for a year. But I loved it! I had in person classes, I finished my NUIG program with a 1:1, got that B2 certificate and a 69% average in my psych module. It was the best year ever, yes I was spending every weekend in the library and was constantly studying but I loved it sooo much.

The two following years I’ve just been doing psychology and it’s like my brain has an itch I can’t scratch. It was last year that I picked up Russian for fun, and amidst my assignments I was having a blast learning the cyrillic alphabet and talking nonsense with my fluent parents. (In my childhood they used to switch from Lithuanian to Russian when they didn’t want me to understand what they’re talking about 😂) It all made me remember how I loved German and Japanese in high school too. Made me wish I paid more attention to my high school Irish classes too. I haven’t properly studied any language besides French since I left high school, but damn I wish I could go back to them all. I was in between N5-N4 for Japanese, and now I only remember basic kanji and the 2 alphabets.

Some people in my personal life have told me that they find my ‘love for learning’ inspiring, but I wouldn’t really call it that 😅 If I’m not doing 100 different things at once I feel a bit uneasy. I know I can try dig out some language course to do next semester, but if it’s not French (which I use on a daily basis and need to do the C1 exam sometime next year) I find it hard to justify spending a lot of time on it.