inside a teens mind

I’m back and definitely not better than ever, I think it’s been almost 2 years since the last Time I’ve posted but wtv.

I’ve gained over 50 pounds leaving me at a morbidly obese 230 pounds.

I can’t believe I even just said that but I want to be own and honest towards you guys about my journey.

It’s been a while and I’m kind of recovering but not really, I’m going to Costa Rica in 2 months and I’m super stressed because last time I went on vacation I was 40 pounds lighter, so to make sure I’m in good shape for the beach I’m going on a strict diet and working out 2 hours a day.

I’m trying to do this in a healthy way but realistically if you want to loose like 30 pounds in 2 months you kind of need to be extreme.

School bathroom body check

Why can’t I just forget about eating and focus my time on being smart, god I can do better than this but I decide to eat in bed instead.

Fucking pathetic, why do I let myself get away with this I need to do better and skinnier or else what am I living for.

Food is the exact reason why I’m not smart enough or pretty enough.

Sry I haven’t posted in a while school has been super busy and since school has started I’ve gained back all the weight I lost

I’m trying really hard to loose it again and get back into the routine I used to have

Now all I can think about is how I’m going to get rid of it. First thing I did was take a laxative

I’m waking up tomorrow at 6 am to go for a long walk to help burn off the calories and I won’t eat until Friday to make sure I loose extra weight