aamor_ghabielle

A few brief seasons have danced and gone,

Since you left me to question the rising dawn.

We stand beneath the same gilded dome,

Yet my heart has found a quieter home.

No phantom ache or sorrow clings,

Nor any joy your presence brings.

I feel no flutter, no sudden spark;

You are but a shadow in the dark.

You glide through the ballroom, polished and free,

As though you ne'er fractured the world in me.

You roam the promenade, proud and grand—

It's disturbing that it slowly changing;

The words, the phrases and even the ideas are gone;

Puff into the air, crashed in the ground.

When will I ever see you again, self?

When will I ever notice that you've come back from that eternal slumber?

For as much as I want to shake and wake you up,

In the meadow as the pen twirling...

As we keep thinking - time continuously ticking...

Have you ever sit in a corner where you found yourself staring in an endless emptiness?

Have you ever saw your reflection in a mirror and question yourself, "who am I looking into"?

Have you ever woke up one morning looking at the same ceiling, feeling that familiar feeling?

It's the battle, darlin.

It's the confusion between the mind and the heart.

It's the questions you don't know if there are / is right answer.

It is you, who is trying to figure out something... unknown.

It is you, that suffers, unsure and hurting at the moment.

It is you who seeks answers but found nothing.

It is the pressure how you will pursue the future.

It is the madness and expectations that you should, you MUST success.

Hear me,

Read me,

See me,

Feel me,

I am here,

Sometimes, I just need some presence with silence.

Most of the time, I need someone's hug with comforting tap at the back.

All the time, I want someone who will understand how it feels.

These stupid, depressing, fcking silent battles are later on, worth fighting, worth surviving and worth reminiscing.

Loss of words because of this overflowing happiness,

Weighed down what's lost,

And you lit the way.

Will you be thine?

When you wake up every morning and the breeze embrace you with grace,

As you grow fond of starring into the meadow and nothing to feel,

Emptiness is real;

It is when you stretch your hand and breath slowly in the endless pain,

When you felt the urge to survive 'cause it's too futile to continue,

When you're drained and you cannot see the reason to move at all,

There's always chimes that 'tings' as the wind blows you 'good luck',

There's always ray of sun in the surge of rain,

There's always smile in every hidden face.

Like any other feeling, starting over was the hardest step to do.

But stepping away and leaving the things that makes us uncertain, doubtful and hurt is a win-to-win case.

Healing is like a wind on a dry branch.

God doesn't give us answers simply we ask for them,

It's a 'go' signal that we can overcome it,

A push to go through the tunnel,

A sign that we shouldn't settle for that kind of ache,

A reminder that you deserve better than this.

And as we grab the courage to do so,

Little by little we understand that it is really healing,

Our hearts does not only patched by band aids,

does not only stitched,

does not only glued;

The sounds of the waves shivers,

Every night seems long,

And our tomorrow's are told.

Until when do you need to do it?

I mean, the sweet pain that keeps bothering me,

The kind of pain I still wants to feel again and again.

Absurd yet I guess that's when people really do when their in love.

Stumbling running towards each other,

“Kumusta ka na?” “Okay naman, may mga musika pa ring nagpapaalala ng magkahalong luha at saya,”

“Sorry,”

“Sorry? Sa lungkot?”

“Sa lahat,”

“Lumipas na ang panahon, Lyndon wala ng magagawa ang sorry ngayon alam mo ba yun?”

“Alam ko, pero baka nga gusto ko lang masiguro na masasabi ko na sa’yo, di ba nga the last time wala kang narinig sakin,”

“And all you did was left.”

“And never came back,”

“You’re forgiven”

“Despite everything?”

“I loved you, and despite everything there’s always a place for forgiveness. It takes time Lyndon, but you know what’s makes me forgive you? I needed to forgive you first so that I can forgive myself too.”

“You never failed to amaze me, Ynna”

“And you never failed to make my heart flutter, so stop it…”

~~~

“…Besides, relationship works with two people. Pareho tayong may pagkukulang, may mga pagkakamali, at mga bagay na hindi inintindi sa isa’t isa.”

“And if we tried to listen to each other, maybe that last isn’t?”

“Maybe, we’re not sure, look at us now. We parted ways…”

“But still connected.”

~~~

“Will you still stayed if I told you not to go, Lyndon?”

“No…”

~~~

“Will you still accept me if I came back, Ynna?”

“Yes…”

“Even if you break your own rule again?”

“Of course, that’s how I wanted to be with you, that’s how much I loved you”

“And I’m glad I didn’t”

“I’m glad too…”

~~~

“…Do you think we can give it another shot?”

“No, I can’t take it anymore. Seeing you loosing yourself for me, I mean.”

“Then let’s stop saying we’re sorry. And forgive ourselves too.”

I am staying not because things are easy with you,

I will stay because I wanted to,

And if circumstances went go berserk,

And pushes us too hard;

I prefer figuring it out,

Rather than going away and leaving,

'Cause isn't that what true love made us do?

Moves mountain and swims ocean,

There are colder nights in November,

I thought it's natural, but it isn't

'Cause something's not right,

Something's making it lonelier than the usual nights.