I want to be heard (doesn’t speak) I want to be understood (doesn’t explain) I want to be seen (acts like if a missing person was right in front of everybody)

i know we're not supposed to say this but i literally love being alone and going on the computer

I isolate and disappear daily, responds to people's texts after days, dont even pick up calls, unintentionally ignore people, unintentionally act rude, act fine even though im not, constantly hide my actual thoughts, wait for others to text first, avoid people i care for and then wonder why everyone forgot about me XD

Realistically I know “let’s all kill ourselves” is just as bad or maybe worse than “im going to kill myself” but in my head it’s like. ok but im establishing a sense of community and proposing a group activity? like are we really going to get mad about that

avpd culture is feeling jealous in social situations where people just express themselves, when you had that abused out of you so you just observe others getting to be themselves whilst your body locks you down mute