FUTURE GHOST

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

eating my sandwich & leaving behind the perfectly sandwich-shaped sandwich bones

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

mike, it's actually more interesting for audiences that margaret is an abusive religious fundie (and also a victim of marital rape) who tries to literally beat the idea of sin into her daughter, it is actually TIMELY to adapt that correctly at this particular american moment. WHY is he so scared of every piece of source material that has ever been handed to him? i MUST know

what if carrie was about a young witch searching for a missing cat in the alps

his sexuality crisis would NOT involve him researching micro-identites to find the exact one to label his attraction. he's a forty year old man, he's calling himself gay and never thinking about it again

Super normal about this…. :,,,,3333!!!!!

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are so mad because they get no women. if you are a Good Person a woman will appear and suck your dick.

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are all sooo poorrrr and stupid. They are stupid because they are poorrrr, racism would never exist in my suburban area

Popular leftist voice: these right wingers must have brain damage. They must be bigots because they are literally reta suffering from blsck mold, or brain damage.

Popular leftist voice: Every single right-wing person is literally so ugly and chopped, let me point out their exact features and how they're ugly. Having bad thoughts literally ages you. Good People are always hot and sexy and have kind countenances.

In my next life i'll find u sooner and love u longer