rue

roscoe's breakdown has been cancelled you're welcome public

i deserve to be hurt (as a little treat)

i am reaching out to you like how a wave meets shore only to be pulled back before it meets your feet, i am waving to you while you walk away and only your back knows me, i am terrified to try to connect to you in full. we are all.. terrified to talk to old friends because what if what we are, who were are, what if we are not who they wish to know? what if they do not believe we exist what if they hurt us, say mean things or hurt our stupidly complicated feelings. please reach out if you wish because i pull back from every touch i want to speak I promise i want to open my mouth and be present i want to be real to you as well. I am sorry that i am so horribly complicated, some chipped fragment with all the wrong right memories, I am sorry i can do nothing more then whine in the dark and hope that they will find me and say you are here and you are not the same and we want you. I want and I shouldn’t and I know I’m a mistake but I’m begging to not make me hide like this even though it is mainly my own hatred of myself that leads me to live so invisibly here.

lowkey might be genderfluid or like completely apathetic or like maybe I really want to be a girl or maybe Zinnia is just lacing my existence rn anyways blehhhhh

no you don’t get it I need 160 dollars to buy this perfume I tried and liked no I don’t care if there’s a chance that I buy it and it makes my migraines worse I want to smell pretty okay???

went nonverbal in the car with my mom once and she asked me if I was having an absence seizure after and said that she’s never heard of people being unable to speak before… BITCH YOU MUST BE JOKING

made a spelling mistake now i have to kill myself sorry guys