Too messy to make sense

and despite all of that, marriage is the last thing on your mind. maybe it's the fear of commitmen or the fact that you can never truly be yourself.

forced to let go of something that feels good — great even.

to withdraw from the needs and wants to get a taste

i always tell myself to never depend my happiness on anyone

and yet here i am

reminiscing the happiest moments of my life

I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore. I’ve come to terms with our condition.

I crave for your touch,

Your kisses on my lips,

You're a star in the sky, shining bright in the dark of the night.

Selama 20 tahun saya hidup, saya merasakan cinta lebih dari yang bisa saya hitung. Baik itu cinta kepada teman dan sahabat, keluarga, maupun tempat. Sayangnya, cinta yang saya rasakan sering kali tidak berbuah manis. Terkadang asam atau malah pahit, sehingga cinta saya hubungkan dengan perasaan negatif. Hingga suatu saat, cinta yang saya rasakan berbuah manis. Awalnya, ada rasa ragu dalam diri saya. Sempat terbesit pertanyaan “Apakah benar cinta yang manis ini benar-benar untuk saya?” dalam pikiran saya. Maklum, pengalaman saya dan cinta tidak pernah indah. Namun, seiring waktu berlalu, saya mulai menyukai rasa cinta yang manis ini. Saya mulai menganggap cinta manis ini adalah suatu berkah yang diberikan Tuhan karena saya tetap mempercayai dan tidak takut untuk merasakan cinta meskipun selama ini pahit. 

Self-care is any actions you do to take care of your health. It is a form of intervention that can be done by ourselves. 

Self-care is an essential part of my life. It’s a way to make myself better when everything gets too hard and overwhelming to handle. Those moments don’t always go as fast as it came, which is why finding self-care methods that fit us is important. 

These are 6 self-care methods I often use:  

You might be familiar with my demons. Some of you might have known them in the past. Some might still have them. Some might’ve only seen glimpses, and some never knew them at all.

These demons, they attack when you’re most vulnerable. They whisper dark secrets that sound convincing. These demons, they will kill lights within you. They’ll make you wish you were as numb as a robot. These demons, they’re your worst nightmare.

My demons are the only voices I hear, no matter how many angels are singing. My demons are darkness, even though lights are shining. My demons will tell me I’m worthless, I don’t belong. They make me feel small. Yet, my demons keep me going, keep me alive. My demons are the ones I’ll prove myself to.

When I was a kid,

Mother used to say

"Love is an open door, sweetheart. You just have to believe."

And so, I believed in Love.

But as I grew up,

I'm starting to doubt

That Love does exist,

Do you see me through your eyes?

Big brown eyes that glow every time you laugh.

Can't you see?

I am lost in your eyes.

Your splendid big brown eyes

Prettier than the moon,

The Moon has appeared,

decorating the night sky.

She's keeping the night owls company