Link to His Page (Spoilers for Bag a Legend within)
Pronouns: He/Him
Profession: Monster-Hunter, Hierarch of the Hunt
Highest Quirks: Daring, Hedonist,
Lowest Quirks: Austere, Heartless,
Person of Some Importance: A Shattering Force
Closest to: Hell (Renown: 50)
Ambition: Bag a Legend
The Hypocritical Philanthropist did not journey to the Neath for glory, riches, or even love, though he did find all of those there. No, he gave up the sun because it scared him.
He had a decent inheritance, commendable skill in the family trade, and some suitors lined up for him. Yet the idea of living a respectable life with a respectable spouse in a respectable house before dying (respectably) filled him with dread. No. He knew there was more than that. He knew he could be more than that. One day with little warning he paid for passage to the famed Fallen London.
Either through malicious rumor or misinterpreted joke, the Philanthropist believed that a large collection of handheld mirrors would fetch a good enough price to get on his feet. He was quite surprised when some constables hauled him off to New Newgate.
Since then the Hypocritical Philanthropist has made a bewildering name for himself in the Neath. His romance of devils is common knowledge yet his generosity is commended by most places of worship in London. Warm smiles meet him at polite Society dinners while Zailors swap stories of that bl__dy 'unter of the Zee. Constables raise a mug to him while Revolutionary fliers stick out of his back pocket.
Having finished his hunt for the Vake and his association with The Youthful Naturalist, The Hypocritical Philanthropist now sets his eyes on the Great Hellbound Railway.
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Masters podcast plan to get hip with the youths goes catastrophically when Veils gets on screen and unmistakably has cat ear headphones on under its robe and the chat becomes so mired about this that it becomes unusable
Pages sets up a chat automod for words that only it knows.
Audio listeners get confused when Iron's episode is three hours of total silence.
After getting cancelled on Neath-Twitter again, Happles does the influencer thing of bringing a pet onto the show. Except its an animal that literally nobody has ever seen before.
Having read the preview I'm very excited to see the full release. Once the character creation rules come out I'll have to write up my own Venture to post here. (Edit: I am a fool who entirely missed the character creation rules so now I for sure have to start working on a Venture)
(spoilers for the Venture included the book)
And I'm sure all of the bat-kissers will be entirely normal about the option to take a "Hades and Persephone" type deal with Mr Stones.
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As the Fallen London TTRPG looms ever closer, I wanted to share some Concern/Party ideas.
1.) The Paleontological Consultants - A Concern made up of paleontologists, zoologists, and occultists whose job it is to judge the plausibility of skeletons on display in the Bone Market. The Concern is on its way to the dig site of an absolutely absurd skeleton.
Much to their horror, the species that made that fossil is far from extinct...
2.) The Top-Side Visitors - This Concern is actually just visiting London. Tales of the Neath have brought this group of scholars, tourists, and reporters down from the Surface to experience what the Fifth City has to offer.
The many delights and frights of the Neath merely distract from the Concern's true goal: Getting a photo of one of the Masters. For the scrapbook, of course.
3.) Mrs. Plenty's Miscreants - The players are in the employ of Mrs. Plenty, each of them performing different acts for the carnival. When one of the guests goes missing in the House of Mirrors, its up to the Carnies to find them.
But what will these dunk-tank divers, face painters, and knife jugglers do when they encounter something truly jaw dropping on the other side of the glass?
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HOW TO MIN-MAX YOUR SAD OLD MAN: A FALLEN LONDON GUIDE
What began as a desire to have my nautical agents' actions synced up slowly became a personal ambition to kit out the Luckless Captain with the best gear possible. What would it take for the Luckless Captain to have guaranteed success in the Naval Intelligence plot? Is it possible for this Zailor to turn into a Zuper Zpy?
(Longer discussion under the cut. This was only remotely possible because of the hard-working people maintaining the Wiki and helpful folk on the Fallen London Discord.)
Part One - Preface and Goals
Doing this is not profitable, practical, a sensible use of echoes/fate, or even be completely possible. But nobody would know Icarus' name if he did not fall so we press on anyway.
To get a 100% success rate on the Naval Intelligence plot, the agent must have 50 Shadowy, 125 Watchful, and 7 Zeefaring.
The Luckless Captain has no shadowy, only 50 Watchful, and a decent 3 Zeefaring. I know what you're thinking. This seems much easier for the Wily Bathyphile, right? Correct! Anyway, our Captain will need an outfit that gives 50 Shadowy, 75 Watchful, and 4 Zeefaring.
I've intended to find an outfit that any player could put on him, so Ambition and promotional/kickstarter items are off the table. Fate and Seasonal items are fair game.
Part Two - Shopping Spree
Here I'll list what goes in each slot by name, the relevant stats it gives, its cost, and if it is a bazaar/seasonal/storyline item.
Renown items will have a rough estimated cost. Its a lot of math that I don't want to do so I'm going to trust strangers on Fallen London Discord.
Its a miniscule amount but I'm also including a one time 0.30 echo total for the cost of a ticket to Mutton Island. I'm assuming a player can get all of the Fruits of the Zee items in a single trip.
Hat: Tub of Gloam Foam - Watchful +8, Shadowy +4, - 400 Echoes - Bazaar
Adornment: Mourning Locket - Shadowy +8, - 0.30 Echoes- Fruits of the Zee (any adornment from FotZ can take this slot)
Gloves: Mournclimber's Wraps - Shadowy +10, - Free - Fruits of the Zee (any gloves from FotZ can take this slot)
Weapon: Mostly-Cooperative Chart of the Eastern Unterzee - +9 Watchful, +1 Zeefaring - In addition to Railway and Ship costs, 2000 Assortment of Khaganian Coinage and 50ish Echoes
Boots: Where the Bodies are Buries - Shadowy +10, - 40 Renown: Constables, roughly 600 Echoes
Luggage: Levithan-Leather Valise - Zeefaring +1 - 1500 Stuivers though some additional cost associated with the Railway (counted below)
Companion: Übergoat - Watchful +30, - 23,425.6 Echoes, 1 Fate, - Bazaar for the two Overgoats, then get Übergoat via Card
Affiliation: The Great Game - Watchful +5, Shadowy +2, - 40 Renown: The Great Game, roughly 400 Echoes
Transport: Weeping Litter-Cyst - Watchful +3, Zeefaring +1, - Free - Fruits of the Zee
Home Comfort: Amber Vision of the Sea of Spines - +6 Watchful, +1 Zeefaring, - Extremely variable cost considering the Railway Investment and development when putting up statues. Lets assume 400 Echoes for cheapest statue options.
Crew: A Crew, Honoured For Services Beyond the Call of Valour - Watchful +4, - Multiple costs associated with the Railroad and Firmament, roughly 230(ish) echoes.
Total End Result (including Luckless Captain Stats):
Watchful - 124
Shadowy - 38
Zeefaring - 7
Total Cost: Roughly 25,505.90 Echoes, 21 Fate, thousands of non-echo currencies, and an ungodly amount of actions. So this loadout is somewhat expensive. But if you've read this far you know I'm willing to do anything for that Sad Old Man™.
Part Three - Possible Substitute Items & Conclusion
Alas, it isn't quite possible to get the Luckless Captain to perfection. Falling tragically short of the Watchful requirement and a pitiful ~72% chance to pass that Shadowy check. The main limiter is the Zeefaring items as there aren't any Shadowy + Zeefaring items.
There are several items I considered substituting in:
Overworked Commodore - Watchful +8, Zeefaring +2, - While he does free up an extra slot that'd be used for Zeefaring, he can't compete with the Übergoat's coverage.
Relict Catapult - Watchful +9, Shadowy +9, - A very tempting pick, though it'd bring the Zeefaring check down to 90%.
Gentleman's Self-Similar Carryall (Shadowy +6) or Shabri-Box (Watchful +6) - Both also tempting but would also bring the Zeefaring level down.
A Conspiracy of Smugglers - Shadowy +4 - Possibly worth it if paired with the Relict Catapult since it'd meet the Shadowy goal.
Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. I'm by no means an expert on the game so there is a good chance I've overlooked that one perfect item that'll meet the goal (or just did my math wrong). Very much looking for input, comments, and concerns!
HI so im on my hands and knees right now pleading you to tell me about your character's thoughts on eventually becoming a tomb colonist. getting bandaged and the like. or if they're already bandaged what are their thoughts on being bandaged (please and thankyou)
The Hypocritical Philanthropist hasn't actually put much thought to becoming bandaged. Like with most problems in his life, he is assuming he'd be able to find a way out of the consequences.
Then slowly he would begin to fall apart. There would be a time of looming horror as he tries to research a way to stay himself. Repulsive experiments involving Shapling Arts and Red Science to find a way to reverse the debt of deaths. Nothing would work, of course.
Eventually he would accept it with the help of his bandaged friends (Lettice and Feducci). He'd make the most of it and take it as a new way to accessorize. Bandages made of expensive silks, vibrant dyes, and (when he is feeling especially bold) bandages made with newspaper clippings of his many scandals.
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- The Starveling Cat, objectively bad choice to bring as a party member. Hits have a high chance to apply bleed DOT but targets are chosen randomly (can hit allies).
- Jack-of-Smiles, glass cannon DPS. Has a ‘revive’ mechanic where a new Jack will show up to replace the old one once per battle. Has several sprites they cycle through.
- The Abbot-Commander. Healer and tank. Either uses Shapling Arts to patch up wounds or has a hearty drink that gives temporary overheal and an accuracy debuff.
- The Anchoress. Isn’t the most powerful party member. All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.
damn, I can't believe bezos is a hallowmas hater. I can't believe he personally evicted all the server weasels in a fit of autumnal grinchery. absolutely flaccid of you, my man. smh my head
