Im Just Tryina Get My Conk Sunked

movies are so weird people hang out like twice and theyre all like “im in love with you” calm down maybe

*sweeping heaps of debris into the path of the oncoming roomba* eat well, my son

The shining is barely even a horror movie men just be like that

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

WHAT!!!!!

This sounds like one of those late night bumps that would come on adult swim back in the day

love

im both of them

why does it seem like the other arctic monkeys don’t want to dress like that and monkey leader just makes them

this girl at work was like “would you date a guy shorter than you?” and i said “nah fam.” and this other guy was like “don’t you think that’s kinda shallow?” and i looked him dead in the eye and said “i’m a lesbian, carl.”