QUIET REBELLION.

The same place she had just been having drinks, laughing, was blown up in a matter of seconds. She should’ve expected something was going to go wrong during a beautiful, perfect weekend, just like it had in the beginning of the year. The war, everything, nothing was the same and nothing was going to be back to being uncomplicated. A scream, and Dorcas was off, her wand at the ready, every healing charm and levitating charm she could think of at the tip of her tongue ready to use. Still, the sheer sight of it all caught her off guard, just for a bit.

“I can’t believe this.”

But she should’ve, and she hated herself for not. She hated herself for not believing that another terrible thing could happen when she should’ve wised up to her reality. She couldn’t be in her head now, though, she had to help people. This was not about her own disbelief, not now, it was about helping the people who were hurt. Looking over, she saw a familiar crop of blonde hair ( it could’ve been anyone ) and started to run for it. 

“Physically, my hair. I have to put an unearthly amount of Sleekeazy’s to tame it. But, the worry that I’m not good enough in general is an insecurity. I don’t know if making my mark on the world is .... what I want. But, I want to feel good about where I’m at in my life. About what I’m doing. I want to move in a definitive direction and let it take me there. I never can just let go. Of a lot things.”

“I’d give up everything to let him know he how much he had me. I’d give up my money, I’d give up my security. I’d give anything up to have him back and to let him know that I loved him and that I was with him, wherever he went. Wherever he wanted to go. That it all doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have people who have you back, who love you, who challenge you, who see you. I miss who he was before I went to school. I miss the way he’d cook on Sunday mornings. I miss the way he’d chastise me when I made a wrong move in chess. I miss the way he quietly defied what we were supposed to believe, the hate, because he didn’t want me to grow up hating myself. I miss his brilliance, his laughter, his vibrance. I miss the way the world felt when he was still alive.”

“I worry about what they’ve suffered from turning me into who they are. I worry about who I could become in spite of them. I worry that I already take after them more than I know. ”

“I think the reason I was in Ravenclaw in the first place is because I was never satisfied with just one way to see things. For as long as I remember, I did what I was told because I had to and being Ravenclaw has challenged what it means to fit in and be. I think it’s more uncomfortable, I think it’s worrying only for reasons I’m supposed to care about and do. It’s uncomfortable because the world doesn’t seem to see grey and neither do some of my peers. It’s uncomfortable because I’m caught in positions where it compromises what’s comfortable. What I’ve been taught is comfortable. – –  In regards to suffering, I think everyone has their own things they face. It’s not up to me to measure it.”

“I barely see myself aside from my father and his actions and my mother and hers. I think a few might. Ultimately, I’ve been taught that the perception of our image never changes even if our actual image does. No. But I want to prove that I’m neither of them and I think some people, the people who matter, might see me as more than I see myself. I have the power to redefine myself without others approval. Without others acknowledging it. I don’t know how exactly, but I know it’s possible. It has to be. I can’t be stuck being something I don’t believe in my whole life or I will become my father. Then, there wouldn’t be a difference between what people see and what he did. At all.”

“What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?” Rod hid his face in his hands, unable to hold back the laughter. “I can’t fucking look at this.»

“I was just trying to make a milk mistache, but that doesn’t usually happen with alcohol, huh,” Dorcas went back to drinking it,”I was trying to catch the foam before it dissipated.”

Hogsmeade was a quaint and refreshing place to be, most especially after being holed up in the castle for the weeks in-between visits to the village. Benjy had grown less amused by Zonko products as he aged, but was still just as enthused about whatever it was Honeydukes had a special attached to. The boy carefully combined varying bites of his purchased goodies, sat against the store’s window-front.

“I wish I could inquire to how they make these cauldron cakes,” he spoke aloud. “Putting a chocolate frog at the center of one would make for an interesting mix, I think.”

“We could definitely ask? I could send a letter for you somewhere? I’m sure we can find out, yeah?” Dorcas smiled, though the gears in her mind started turning at the very idea of it -- there had to be a way. “We could go back into Honeydukes, ask for some information?” She ate her Sugar Quill, just sinking deep into concentration. It had to be an easy task, right? Though, knowing Benjy he probably had tried already -- it still didn’t stop her from wanting to inquire on her own. “I always thought if they put a Every Flavor Bean in the middle, it would be an interesting surprise. But a chocolate frog is much more appetizing.”

“Non, tu ne comprends pas because iu have not been out theghe in wildeghnéss. I will nevegh shave my alphstache and no, Ghodolphus, I am not a furry!”

Letting out a sound that resembled a pterodactyl screech much more than it did a laugh of a healthy person, Lestrange held up a hand while he regained some composure.

“That guy.” Rod finally put the book back on its shelf, shaking his head in disbelief and sitting down. “I swear, you mix some sea bass into his vegetarian salad one time and suddenly you’re banned from their summer beach house in Cote D’Azur forever.”

The Rodolphus in front of her, who’d been in front of her like this for so many years, was why she could never agree with the people who thought him all bad. That thought he was purely intimidating because she saw him making pterodactyl noises doing a perfectly funny impression being his hilarious self she’d grown to care for. Dorcas laughed, definitely louder than was lady like, but she couldn’t help it. 

“It was r i d i c u l o u s that he made such a big deal about it too, waited to announce it on a stage he had his elves build. You know I don’t condone being vicious or cruel but you were playing a very harmless prank. He really thought he was in Romeo & Juliet screaming BANISHED from the top of his stage. Priceless. Even my father laughed.” The mention of her departed father hurt, but she pushed it away furiously, even though she knew it would come back to haunt her soon -- her brain’s overthinking always did. 

“If he was allergic that would be one thing, but you merely called him a name and played a harmless prank. I should get some sort of revenge for you, something very harmless like ... replacing their centerpiece with a seabass at Janet’s Midsummer Dinner Party. Maybe we can get some polyjuice in you so you’ll be able to watch.”

Carlita sighed dramatically at Dorcas’ words, being the drama queen she is, and let a bit of a grin grow on her face. “Oh Dorcas. Beautiful, naive, Dorcas. I don’t know how you still believe I might be nice to people who aren’t snog-worthy - even then.” She said with a joking tone, smiling innocently at her roommate

Dorcas couldn’t help but let out a laugh at Carlita’s words, “believe that you might be nice to them? Maybe. Believe that being nice to people you don’t find snog-worthy is advantageous to your own personal well being? Always.” Putting her hands under her chin, she watched Carlita for a moment before speaking again, “though, knowing you, they’d forgive you even after you’ve destroyed them in some sort of way. By the way, have your parents mailed you about betrothed’s yet?”

“Try would implicate that I fail to do so. And we both know that I succeed. …You really think a clear coat would help?” Whatever the fuck a clear coat was. Had Alecto ever mentioned one? He couldn’t remember. 

“You do? You succeed? Should we throw a party? I mean, you might need to share your secrets with the world because I’m sure they’d love to know how you did it -- will someone out of existence.” Looking at his nails again, this time seriously, she nodded,”oh, definitely. I actually have a bottle of nail polish you can borrow that helps repair the nail too if you’d like to borrow it? From your IMAGINARY FRIEND, Dorcas Meadowes.”

Sirius mock looked around, putting a hand to his chest.

“Oh be quiet will you, no ones supposed to know!”  He pouted, chuckling.

“I’d be up for a joint costume, but only if it puts you in something sexy.”

“You’re lucky I haven’t told Rita Skeeter. You should be eternally grateful,” she smiled, laughing along with him. At his mention of a sexy costume and a joint one, she rolled her eyes, “like what? If you can get me to wear something purely & ridiculously sexy, Sirius, then you might be a miracle worker.”

“It hasn’t been discussed but I’m sure James will think of something. Well if I tell you of course you’re going to look better. But I’ll accept a challenge. Maybe I’ll steal your wonder woman outfit.”

“James is rather ... crafty. But please, you’re a stud, Remus, you’ve got the ruggedly handsome thing going for you plus those scars? You could have half the student population eating from your palm if you were a little more confident in yourself. But I rest my case.” It was a tad hypocritical of her to tell someone else to be confident in their appearance but besides that, she had no idea where Remus’ scars came from. She wasn’t going to pry into it either -- even if she was curious. “I really will let you borrow my Wonderwoman outfit, though. I’m serious. We’ll get my picture from last year, have the whole student body vote. We could say it was Prefect business, obviously.”

Atticus glanced over at the girl who immediately decided to shut him down. He rolled his sleeve back down and gave her a smile despite her backlash. “Yeah, but who am I to deny these kids some stories about some interesting creatures? They seemed to have enjoyed it, lets not ruin their fun.” He chuckled at her suggestion of fighting a dragon, “Oh of course I will get right on that. Especially if it will win the heart of the lovely princess.” He said, gesturing to her. Even he knew that was completely lame but now that it was out he was going to have to roll with it.

Dorcas didn’t want to smile at his silly stupid compliment, even if it was joke, but as hard as she tried she couldn’t help but smile just a tiny bit while letting out a laugh that was meant to signal that she was annoyed ( a failure, really ). Rolling her eyes, she chastised him more, “sure, they enjoy it but then I have to watch out for a bunch of younger years trying to let out Hagrid’s creatures in an attempt to get a cool looking bruise like that Scamander boy. Besides, I can fight my own dragon, if anything, I’d be the one saving your arse from it. Stupidface.”

❝I think a good way to start is to figure out if you wanna go as something actually scary or if you just want to go with the ever so classy sexy costume.❞

“See, this is why I like you, you understand that I would go as something classy and sexy and not just full out sexy. Even being any kind of sexy is still a little ... weird.” She shrugged, trying to pass off her lack of confidence as being uncomfortable with the idea of being too sexy. Truthfully, as confidently as Dorcas held herself, looking in the mirror to style herself was often a battle that took hours to fight. Her thoughts raced, not in favor of her appearance, tearing it down easily. “What are you going as, do you know? I don’t want to copy yours.”

“That new movie about the space fantasy came out during the summer. It’s fairly new. Maybe go as that one girl with the buns?”

“Oh! I think I heard about it? Star Wars? A few of the younger years were really into it, I’ve been talking to them and they seem EXTREMELY excited. Pandora please tell me how you always think of such lovely ideas, you’re truly one of the more brilliant Ravenclaws of us all.”