Daura's Journal

Now I’m going to talk about the sudden entry in this journal in particular as opposed to the others. I feel that past entries are full of my raw emotions in my worst days and not because I was full of teenage angst but because I was depressed. It was not until P*** died that I talked to M** about how I was actually feeling. I’m currently taking Prozac to cope and it helps but I believe that most of it is in my head. And I’m at peace with that now. I’m really tired of writing so I’m going to leave tomorrow. Bye. 

Hello. It’s been a while. I finally realize why I am the way I am. Some may find this silly or not true but this is how I cope with the feelings I have. (I don’t really know what I’m feeling though.) Because my zodiac sign is Cancer I found out that Cancer’s personality is purely based on there emotions, I also believe that because of all the negative or hard feelings my friends are telling me, I become empathetic and feel the same way they do even though I really don't. I just convince myself I also feel this way. I came to the conclusion because for me to get by I have to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. It’s the only thins that keeps me from being stuck in the past. The behavior I exhibit is exactly categorized as a Cancer. The regret I feel in the middle of the night because I think to much, I feel to much and there are just to many feelings and things, thoughts that I want to write down but no words are coming. All that I write is sincere this is me I’m not trying to be like any other writer at this moment all that I write is the truth on how I feel at this moment. This may seem weird but future-self don’t judge and hate your past self that will only make you regret how you turned out. Bye. 

Today in class Mr. J talked about us not trying hard enough and not caring, I really can’t recall much because I already put it in the vault. But anyway I can only remember what I felt in my mind when he said those horrid words to us. He also said something about making us feel better about ourselves. 

Time is a valuable thing and we still insist on wasting it without even noticing its presences. Disappointment often visits the studio, always around, to mock us and put us to shame but it always gives us energy, devotion, drive to work and get better. And soon you realize that when someone yells at you, you realize you loved being yelled at. Bye.

Couldn't write any more ran out of time like most days. 

It amazes me to see how much effort a teacher can put into on single student. A teacher will spend an hour and 30 minute class focusing on one student. 

I hate when people say that we are never going to use math in the real world. I feel bad for the people who can’t take constructive criticism and make it into something spectacularly amazing. And there is also the matter of taking someone’s spot by merely knowing where to go. That is why you always come to class no matter what, one time I came to class after a funeral. There is also the matter of listening to your superior whether you like them or not it will do you good. But lets talk about that another time.