ted bundy for prez

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

possum bus will not take you where you WANT to go. it will take you where you NEED to go. 

all i do is listen to music really loudly while i walk in circles and daydream :/

so just wipe my ass in front of evrybody

why is a toilet roll being sold for $89.95 though omg

graceful and majestic

This is why I LOVE same-sex relationships. Like, who’s gonna propose?? Probably both!!

This made my whole damn day

😭😭😭

@allthesinglelesbians

I cried actual tears

joe you ain’t SHIT

my childhood was ruined at this precise moment 

;(