The Mother Ship

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

Best thing about winter is all the bugs r rotting in hell where they belong

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’m fucking dying

That last fatal scream tho

*does the naruto run down the aisle at my wedding*

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

Celebs, Fashion and Luxury.