Mister Gray

some requirements/boundaries of mine:

-18+ (NON NEGOTIABLE I AM 22 BODILY PLEASE)

-SFW (also non negotiable)

-someone who's more on the independent side, but i understand the dynamic and i will take care of you, i just will need adjustment and compromises. ie if i can't talk right this second, we can schedule a time for later and unless something really bad happens i will be there. basically just be understanding

-someone who wants to take it slow enough that we can explore but get to know each other and not commit to anything right away

-communicative

-on a healing journey if required, do not message me if you're not trying to heal

-someone who either understands DID or is willing to, and thus won't be uncomfortable when my system finds itself with a little fronting

-platonic non negotiable, poly non negotiable

feel free to send me anonymous asks asking anything you'd like!

About me:

You can call me Gray, I'm 22 and I have dissociative identity disorder meaning there are many of us who usually front one at a time and our personalities, opinions, etc vary.

How does this work with a cg dynamic? When a little is fronting, we cannot take care of you. But if you find yourself needing us when a little is fronting it's all about communication and assessing the situation! If we decide to commit to each other, I will still make myself a priority but you as well and we will treat each case as its own and make sure no one is feeling neglected. Most of our adult alters are caregivers btw, there's only a few who wouldn't be able to help but is happy trying to switch in someone who could.

I'm a writer, an artist, and a Minecraft lover! I also make agere patreon content and am considering having us caregivers add to that as well.

Hi guys, we’re abt to be out of w33d which my fiance uses to manage chronic pain and we both use to manage our mental health…. We’re in such a rough spot rn

I’ll work with your budget for a longer or chaptered agere fic, min $20 and we can negotiate!

Please reblog!

I also do OCs if u tell me abt them!!!! Or we can make up OCs together!!

caregiver will solace moodboard

“Emotional abuse is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize, […] It can be subtle, covert, and manipulative. It chips away at the victim’s self-esteem, and they begin to doubt their perceptions and reality. […] An emotionally abusive relationship is one where there exists a misuse and abuse of power aimed at isolating, manipulating, and controlling the victim for the primary purpose of meeting the vacuous and stilted emotional needs of the abuser.” (Source)

Frequently reassuring them that you love them very much and will not hurt them

Reminding them that they are good enough and that they are amazing just the way they are

Praising them when they are assertive and/or stand up for themselves 

Understanding that their abuse may have caused underlying disorders (Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, etc.)

Learning what their triggers are and avoiding them as much as possible

Never yelling or raising your voice at them (You should never do this to your partner, regardless of regression or history of abuse)

Understanding that they may have self-depreciating mannerisms as a result of their abuse, and helping them to change those habits (ex. they may say things like “This thing is upsetting me but I know it’s stupid and I’m stupid for being upset. I’m sorry for being upset over it”. Try and help them learn that it’s okay to have thoughts and feelings different from yours and that it’s okay to express those thoughts and feelings)

Really, really, thinking before you speak (ex. Could this come across as mean or angry or passive-aggressive, even if I don’t intend for it to be?)

Reminding them that they are valid (Many people who were subject to emotional abuse feel as though what happened to them was “no big deal” because it was not physical. Their pain and experiences is just as valid as anyone else. Just because they don’t have physical scars doesn’t mean what happened to them was unimportant)

Understanding that sometimes they will need time alone, and knowing that when they need time alone it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, they just need some time to themselves

Never pressuring them to talk to you about their abuse. First of all this is just rude, because it is nobodies business but theirs, and second of all this could trigger them into a panic attack, depressive state, flashback, or other traumatic responses. If they want to tell you then they will, if not then remember to respect their boundaries

Understanding that they may be ultra-sensitive or easily hurt, and if so, treat them carefully and respectfully (It’s a result of abuse, not a quirk, they can’t just change it and not be sensitive)