8-Bird Paragon

we need legislation banning games >100GB

OPTIMIZE YOUR SHIT BETTER THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR A 150GB GAME!!!

upon reviewing the notes I'm changing my position. games must be <50GB. no more mandatory 8k uncompressed textures!!! I don't believe in 8k I think it's fake

to be clear games really ought to be around 20 gigs or less. but I think in the spirit of generosity and mercy we won't criminally prosecute the developers until the file sizes breaks 50

Helldivers 2 heard you and went from 156 to 23

Fun fact! This npc is standing there because that tile is on the same tile as the entrance to wayward cave underneath the cycling road. Because of how the bridge tiles and the tiles below them are programmed, if there wasn’t an npc there biking over that tile would count as going into the cave entrance and would warp the player to the cave. Rather than creating a way for bridge tiles over entrance warps to work with it that happening, they did the simpler thing of just putting a stationary npc on the bridge above

dandelions are magic. literally tiny suns in the grass that turn into the moon and then the stars when you blow on them. fucking insane.

i dont WANT to be a fucking farmer in stardew valley i want to be an incredibly attractive and surprisingly reclusive romancable bachelor who stares at shit like water and trees for 1-6 hours of the day only to be bothered by a filthy down and out farmer kid with a surprisingly accurate ability to guess what items i like.

I’ve been standing outside your bedroom every Thursday at 4 PM with a bag of skittles and yet you refuse to acknowledge me!

you need to right click me to engage conversation, king.

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

this is how your email finds me btw

We need to conquer space travel for the only reason that zero-g would allow for new never before seen pastries, you know how the top of the muffin is the best part? Well that is because it is exposed to air so it changes the chemistry, in normal earth gravity it is impossible to make a muffin that is all top part because it needs to be placed somewhere which would restrict air flow, however in zero g it would be possible to make a bubble out of muffin dough which gets optimal airflow and becomes an all-top part muffin... This is the dream...