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@7frogsspeaks
Hi! This is a sub-blog for @just7frogsinapeoplesuit containing all of the posts where I have actually Said Words About Stuff.
Most posts will probably be about science/nature and psychology because that's what my brain likes, but I do not control which posts I end up having things to say about. Anything could happen.
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You know even with all the World Cup hype I think Iâve only seen like one thing partnering with the US menâs soccer team. All the other stuff is just kind of advertising the idea of soccer.
Americans arenât super duper into soccer but we do generally grasp the importance of the World Cup. Also our menâs team is generally forgettable so with these two realities put together we just end up hyping up the general idea of soccer.
I went to the grocery store today and they were selling bouquets with little soccer balls on sticks in them. It was the only soccer-related thing in the store. Truly fascinating how the US is celebrating this lmao
Well. "Deer" is at least not entirely wrong
You know, Iâm not autistic but sometimes people think I am because Iâm blunt or something but really Iâm just German
Something something about how other peoples cultural norms are often seen as some kind of disorder or something.
I mean my German-Russian/Scandinavian family is just straightforward and doesnât show a lot of emotion because thatâs what we do?
Itâs like how in some cultures any eye contact at all is rude and those people have a difficult time adjusting to cultures where eye contact is expected.
Like armchair diagnosing people based on surface level behaviors is kind of rude also in my opinion.
I donât care if Iâm autistic or not. I mean Iâm not, but it wouldnât matter to me if I was. My point is that behavior outside of what you personally expect doesnât necessarily mean anything about a person. And also maybe donât armchair diagnose strangers on the internet.
Delighted to inform you that this quiz exists:
A rigorous diagnostic. 15 questions. One uncomfortable truth.
Sustainability: Solitary Bee House
A while ago, I made a post about solitary bee houses and Iâve decided to share my own! This mofo is made of maple and bamboo, lacquered for weather resistance. Note the sizes of the holes: different sizes allow different species of solitary bees like mason bees or carpenter bees to make their homes, so any passerby can stop in to reproduce. (that means RAUNCHY BEE SEXXX). I also put it right above a no-till raised bed with flowers for added support. Right now the daffodils are in bloom, next up are my azaleas (not shown). Then, I plant morning glories around the base of the lattice at different intervals throughout the summer. This way, the bees have nutritional support throughout the seasons.Â
P.S. Put this shit in shaded areas in your yard to support pollinators because otherwise, our crops will fail and we will be forced to purchase even more food from other countries in order to fulfill our needs!
These âbee hotelsâ are unfortunately bad for bees most of the time! If they are poorly constructed and/or arenât cleaned they encourage predators, parasites, and disease, and the impact they have on native bee species is poorly studied. Unless you are willing to do a lot of research and regular upkeep you are much better off encouraging the growth of natural hollow stems.
More info:
Researchers have discovered that bee hotels aren't necessarily good for native bees. In fact, sometimes parasitic insects attack native bees
Here are some reasons why cheap mason bee houses can end up hurting bee populations. I live in Pennsylvania (USA), so some of the issues mig
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Even partly-effective masks can stop the spread of COVID-19, so long as enough people wear them.
This webpage is great, but for a very tangible example of how well masks work I'd like to add:
i really dont conceptualize the thing that i do wherein i try to understand people as accurately as possible as "empathy," and i'm trying to figure out how to articulate the finer points of why that is... i think that prioritizing doing this does typically make someone behave and think in ways that come across as more empathetic to others. but i don't think "making a conscious and active effort to center the personhood of everyone you encounter" is itself empathy. in my mind its like ... mathematical almost. the act of refining the model of the other person is very precise and analytical for me. my feelings dont reallly come into it much -- often i get my feelings hurt by seeing instances of people REFUSING to center someones personhood that i can relate to, but i think that is more like part of what motivates me to try to think this way.
"Empathy" is a very broad and poorly-defined term, but it's generally split into emotional and cognitive components and what you're referring to here is cognitive empathy! The issue is that most people by default assume someone is referring to emotional empathy (being emotionally affected by others' experiences), which is why calling theory of mind stuff "empathy" feels like it gives people the wrong idea.
The "classification" section of the Wikipedia article for empathy does a decent job describing each and how they're used! The potential synonyms it lists for cognitive empathy are: empathic accuracy, social cognition, perspective-taking, theory of mind, and mentalizing.
and this isn't even getting into harm that's genuinely necessary! i read a book recently that was intended to educate people in healthcare about medical trauma, written by a medical professional who found that there weren't existing resources to help her cope with the aftermath of the extremely traumatic c section that saved her life. the whole tone of the book was "i know you've never thought about this before, but walk with me through this case study" and it's aimed at other medical professionals! it's aimed at the people who are doing this harm, and so many of them think that people aren't allowed to find it harmful just because it's necessary!
so many trauma resources assume that your trauma is from a specific person or people who treated you in a way that society deems unacceptable. if your trauma doesn't fit that profile then you're left sitting there like. idk i dont think most of this stuff applies to me. where are the resources for people like me.
if you were ever scared or in pain and were told that you had to grin and bear it because it's necessary for you to do the thing that scares and hurts you, you are allowed to say that that was traumatic. you are allowed to say that you were scared and in pain and that even if this was the least bad option, even if it was lifesaving, it still was not okay. something being necessary does not inherently make it okay.
i think i still have mild trauma from a dentistry-related thing some years back, and it was completely voluntary and i wanted it, just, the experience was actually really upsetting. like, totally worth it in overall outcomes, just. wow, yeah. i do not want to ever do that again.
i have more than one thing that saved my life and traumatized me.
I'm a juvenile diabetic: relatedly, I used to be crippled by CPTSD. it turns out, infants dislike needles, and having your primary caregivers administer them daily can be bad for those relationships. I had no sense of trauma as the etiology of my issues for a while, because I couldn't find any 'abuse' in my history.
I remember talking to a psychologist: guy was like "are you absolutely sure you weren't abused as a child? I am literally a therapist, so you can tell me". when I demurred, he was like "truly? because you really really come across like you were, and I meet a lot of people with that history".
it was only after a parent mentioned that I'd go quiet and waxy during injections (tonic immobility, in retrospect) that I started to consider whether the lifesaving medical care I received had negative psychological effects.
This is a common gateway to pseudoscience. People experience trauma from receiving, or from seeing a loved one receive, lifesaving medical care and aren't able to find the space to process that it was necessary, the alternative was worse, AND it was really and truly awful. People who are afraid to go back. People who need accommodations to make necessary medical care less stressful and scary, and can't get them.
Childhood medical trauma can also make you much more susceptible to abuse, because if your first experiences with severe pain and distress at the hands of another person were explained as "this is necessary for your wellbeing, your caregivers approve of this and you are not allowed to refuse", guess what happens in your brain when someone actually abuses you
Demand destruction vs fuel-superceding infrastructure
Iâm coming to GUELPH, ONTARIO THIS FRIDAY (May 8) to deliver the Musagetes Lecture.
No one is better at keeping hope alive than Rebecca Solnit, the historian and essayist whose Hope in the Dark got me through the first Trump administration and whose A Paradise Built In Hell inspired my novel Walkaway:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/301070/a-paradise-built-in-hell-by-rebecca-solnit/
In her latest, "Truth, Consequences, Climate, and Demand Destruction," Solnit is nothing short of inspirational â not because she downplays the horror and misery of Trump and his war of choice in Iran, but because she tells us what we stand to salvage from the wreckage:
https://www.meditationsinanemergency.com/truth-consequences-climate-and-demand-destruction/
Solnit starts by explaining some of the (many, many) things that Trump doesn't understand. Principally, Trump doesn't understand the concept of "demand destruction," which is what happens when shortages prompt people to make durable, one-way changes in their behavior that permanently reduce the demand for fossil fuels.
High prices sometimes create demand destruction: for example, if a transient shortage in eggs pushes prices up, people might discover that they prefer tofu scrambles in the morning, so even when the price of eggs comes back down, they buy two dozen fewer eggs every month, forever.
Beyond high prices, shortages and rationing are far more likely to lead to demand destruction. In the 10 years following the 1970s oil crisis, US cars doubled in fuel efficiency, and the gas-guzzler didn't return until car manufacturers exploited the American "light truck" loophole to fill the streets with deadly SUVs:
https://medium.com/vision-zero-cities-journal/the-chicken-tax-and-other-ways-the-u-s-government-subsidizes-your-ford-f-150-444a5164c627
But to really max out on demand destruction, you need both rationing and a cheap, easily installed substitute, and that's what the Strait of Epstein crisis, along with solar and batteries, offers the world today. Solar is incredibly cheap, and getting cheaper every day. Batteries are also incredibly cheap, and they're getting cheaper too. For decades, fossil fuel apologists have insisted that we'll never stop setting old dead shit on fire because "the sun doesn't always shine and the wind doesn't always blow," but thanks to battery deployment in China and California (and more places very soon), the sun shines all night long:
https://ember-energy.org/app/uploads/2026/04/Global-Electricity-Review-2026.pdf?ref=meditationsinanemergency.com
In starting this stupid, unforgivable war, Trump has vastly accelerated the process of demand destruction. Rather than buying American oil, the whole world has undertaken a simultaneous, rapid, irreversible shift to electrical substitutes for fossil fuel applications, from induction tops to balcony solar to ebikes and EVs:
https://thepolycrisis.org/01-demand-destruction-us-oil-is-not-winning-the-iran-war/
As Solnit writes, Trump's stupid war follows on the heels of another unforgivable and cruel blunder: Putin's quagmire in Ukraine, which catapulted Europe into the Gretacene, with a wholesale, continent-wide shift away from fossil fuels to renewables and the devices they power. Now, the rest of the world is following suit. In South Korea, President Lee Jae Myung is leading the charge to transition the country to renewables, framing fossil fuels as an existential geopolitical risk.
Adding another insight from my dad who closely follows the energy industry: the oil companies aren't going to drill on conservation land that they're now technically allowed to because it takes years to get to the point where drilling actually starts, and none of them trust that they won't be kicked out or drowning in legal issues again as soon as we have a different president. So even if they had bank loans they aren't going to bite, because it's not a guaranteed long-term plan and drilling is expensive.
The momentum is against oil. It's just a matter of time.
Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.
If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump
this? you want to walk down this????
please say sike
IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP
footpath
I appreciate your optimism but that's absolutely not a footpath. Highways here do not have those, and especially not I-95. That's a grass shoulder that's mowed because otherwise trees might drop branches onto the road. It is not continuous and will invariably turn into a ditch full of water, half a mile of brambles, a very steep hill tilting into or away from the road, or simply vanish when the road goes over a bridge. And those cars can easily be going over 130kph. There is a reason it's illegal to walk next to highways here.
America does not have footpaths. There isn't even a continuous sidewalk through most residential areas. And I-95 is equivalent to the Autobahn.
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Things I find myself telling my teen patients often, in no particular order.
(I am not your therapist and nothing in this post is a substitute for getting your own personal mental health treatment if you need it.)
Being a teenager sucks. Your brain is in a state of development where all your emotions are intensified, and those emotions are frequently bad because being a teenager sucks. Youâre basically an adult when itâs convenient for the adults, and a kid when itâs convenient for the adults. This is crazymaking. It is my opinion that critics of âit gets betterâ messaging do not recall being a teenager very well. Iâm not saying being an adult is a picnic. But generally speaking it beats the hell out of being the legal property of your parents while your brain is going brrrrr.
On that note, if you have any kind of mental illness, these may be your worst, most symptomatic years.Â
Your brain is also in a stage of development where new habits are more likely to stick. That means that if you and I (33) both started learning Russian tomorrow, you would be more likely to stick with it and get better at Russian faster than me; but if you and I started doing a new drug tomorrow, you would be more likely to get addicted.
Itâs normal to hate living with your parents even if you love them. Iâm not saying you have to love your parents, but if you do, that doesnât obligate you to enjoy living under the same roof. MANY adults have loving relationships with parents they would never want to live with again. (It may also take a few years of living apart for you to determine whether you actually hate your parents or whether you just hate living with them. This too is normal.)
Thereâs nothing wrong with going through phases. If you believe that what youâve got going on right now is going to be your permanent identity, well, youâd know better than anybody else; but itâs fine if itâs not. âIâm into this right nowâ is good enough and people should respect it.
How much time you spend on your Screen Device is less predictive of mental health outcomes than what you are actually doing on your Screen Device. Three hours of gaming with your friends beats one hour of watching thinspiration videos on TikTok or arguing with strangers on tumblr about who gets to call themselves a dyke. (Assuming your friends are nice to you.)
Sex is supposed to be fun. If youâre having sex and it isnât fun, something is wrong â maybe youâre not ready to be having sex yet, maybe youâre having sex with the wrong people, maybe your partner needs to learn your body and preferences better, or maybe youâre having sex for the wrong reasons.
(Obligatory donât do drugs BUT) if youâre going to do drugs, weed is safer than alcohol.
You may be tempted to assume that the people who treat you like youâre not cool enough to hang out with them are, in fact, the coolest people ever and ultimate arbiters of cool, and expend a lot of energy trying to win them over. I implore you to at least consider the possibility that your friends who actively want to hang out with you are exactly as cool as those people, and quite possibly cooler.Â
If you barely eat anything all day and then binge at night, the reason youâre binging at night is because you barely ate all day. If you teach your body that it will not be fed for long periods of time, it will do its best to ensure, whenever you do eat, that you eat as much as possible. This is a feature, not a bug.
Sleep hygiene is unfortunately not bullshit.
âPeople experience social penalties for not being thinâ is extremely true, but âno one will ever love you unless youâre thinâ is extremely false.
The world is full of happy, successful, financially solvent adults who did not get into their first choice colleges.
One of the only good additions so far to the "don't do drugs but" bullet point.
I have also told kids "if you're thinking of doing random pills that someone brings to a party, you should look them up in the Drugs Identifier guide on Drugs.com and read about what you're taking before taking it". https://www.drugs.com/imprints.php?imprint=l&color=12&shape=24
9b. There is a 99% chance that anyone who acts like they're too cool for you, no matter how happy they act, is actually miserable and has terrible self-esteem. They are playing hard to get or rejecting you because it makes them feel better about themselves. Being friends with them will pressure you to be the same way.
14. Nutrition is unfortunately not bullshit. If you don't eat a balanced diet (including breakfast!) you will be kind of exhausted and hungry all the time.
15. Caffeine is a bandaid. If you are tired and you don't rest you will just get more and more tired until caffeine can't fix you any more and you get sick. If you use the caffeine bandaid for long enough the burnout/illness can be permanent.
16. Hydration is also not bullshit. It doesn't matter if you put juice or flavors in your water as long as you're drinking fluid. Also, regularly clean out your water bottle because mold can make you ridiculously sick.
(via Saturday Morning Cartoons: Baopu #15) by Yao Xiao
words to remember
THIS HAS MADE AN ACTUAL DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE!!
Implementing this has improved how I feel about myself, and HOW I SEE OTHER PEOPLE!!
Iâm not a burden to put up with. Iâm a person who deserves respect, but does have some idiosyncrasies.
Other people arenât barely tolerating me, theyâre being patient and considerate and working hard to be polite.
And I find that when I acknowledge the good I see in other people, they feel respected and appreciated.
To extrapolate a bit on that last pointâ constantly verbalizing your lack of self-esteem sabotages your relationships.
If youâve just vented about your day to a friend and you say âsorry for bothering youâ, your friend is going to hear âI donât believe you care enough about how I feelâ and âI want validation that you donât hate me because you listening wasnât good enoughâ. To someone who cares about you, that feels really shitty! Youâre centering your negativity and havenât actually acknowledged their care for you at allâ youâve essentially rejected them and implied they arenât sincere in their friendship with you.
If, on the other hand, you say âthank you for listeningâ, your friend will hear âI know that was probably a lot but Iâm grateful youâre here for meâ. By expressing gratitude instead of fishing for validation for something theyâve already given you, you center your positive feelings toward them and express trust that they care about you.
For people who arenât friends, saying âthank youâ instead of âIâm sorryâ expresses confidence. It signals to people that youâre self-assured about mistakes and flaws, and that you know how to advocate for yourself (and arenât an easy target for emotional manipulation). Basically, it makes people trust you more! In workplace settings, this alone can genuinely be the difference in whether you get a raise or a promotion, and in social settings it makes you more likely to attract emotionally healthy people.
Chronic apologizing is a really hard habit to break, but unlearning it will genuinely improve every aspect of your life. You can do it!!
stop fucking using the word psychotic to describe bad behaviour and violence already god fucking damn it
oh my god i'm so tired psychotic does not mean violent it does not mean angry or erratic. it refers to a person suffering from psychosis, a loss of touch with reality that includes hallucinations and/or delusions. psychotic people are not inherently violent and y'all need to understand how much stigma you create when you again and again incorrectly use the word psychotic without even thinking about it
would appreciate if non-psychotic people could reblog this
there is no single argument against including trans women in sports that doesn't boil down to "women aren't supposed to be good at this" and it's fucking insane to me that every woman in the world isn't up in arms about the way this issue has laid institutional misogyny bare to the bone
I gave basically this exact testimony in front of my state legislature last year over a set of trans sports ban bills (we won!), and was surprised to find that I was the only one who approached it from this angleâ everyone else focused on the impact bans would have on trans people, which is frankly not convincing to anyone who's genuinely convinced they're "protecting" cis women. One of the legislators came up to me after to thank me for adding this perspective.
Arguing for trans people's humanity can work on people who are not super transphobic, but "trans sports bans are an insult to the skills of cis women" is a really good way to convince self-identified feminists to support trans women in sports. Nobody wants to be the person who votes for a bill that says cis women are weak.
Imagine if sometimes some fucking T̡ÍÍ ÍĚĚĄĚŚhĚ¸Ě ÍĚĚi̸ÍĚĚĚĚŠĚŽn̸ÍĚÍÍĚĚ°ĚÍÍg̸ÍĚŽĚťÍ̟̏ could just crash through the shimmering veil of reality with a trail of fragments from the suffocating void enveloping it, grab whoever's unlucky enough to be closest, and swoop back out like it was nothing. And this was just one of your everyday hazards to worry about. Incredible cosmic horror concept
Addendum: dippers do not eat fish! They're under there to find bugs, or sometimes mollusks
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immediately and deeply obsessed with any mammal that adapts into the Sneefling Snorfer niche
Black and rufous sengi - Rhynchocyon petersi
Aardvark - Orycterops afer
Western long-beaked echidna - Zaglossus bruijnii
Star-nosed mole - Condylura cristata
Giant anteater - Myrmecophaga tridactyla
Russian desman - Desmana moschata
Short-beaked echidna - Tachyglossus aculeatus
Don't forgot pangolins and tapirs!
(image source)
(image source)
Everybody should tell me their dumbest pet nickname progression. I would like to see it.
For me it's Matilda -> Tilly -> illy -> iller -> the iller -> the killer
Billie -> Bill -> Billbill -> Billbin -> Billbin Baggirl -> BillBoblinMcBaggirl
Which has resulted in us also calling her "a whole bag of girl" because she feels like she's made of bricks despite being a completely average sized cat
