Not quite necessary especially when I’m living in the very downtown of the very downtown.

Then it was 831. Trauma.

I decided to take the action.

I will reach for you

When you’re feeling low

Like autumn, for its comfort, for its colours, for its atmosphere.

Take a fresh autumn breath today 🍃🍂🍁

Where there’s a will, there’s a “ray”.

A southwest-facing bedroom sun-drenched this morning. Isn’t it a bit dramatic?

-

- it’s okay to not be okay (2020)

I miss this clock tower. And I miss how the sun sheds a golden ray on the bricks.

-

“Do we really need that?”

That’s the question I always ask myself. Does it make you life better with it? Can you live without that item? We all are attracted by beautiful things. We all want to own everything. But no one realise that no matter how many things you own, it will not fill up the void in your heart.

So just keep one thing that spark joy in your heart. One, the only one, is enough.

Disclaimer: I am one of those devils who tempte you to purchase something that you might not need. I’m sorry. :(

Now I am writing social vacuous copies for engagement rings and wedding bands, in a princess-syndrome style. Making me sick.

It’s time for bed.

“See you in the dream” is sweet to hear. Despite that a dream is an illusion, you try everything further that you don’t dare to do or tell to him. Sometimes you think this is the Inception, you think two souls are bonded, in that dream. You want to stay asleep forever.

Yet I am rational. Very rational enough to comprehend that it is definitely an illusion, that we will never meet in dreams. Any forms of you in my dreams are only my imaginary you. “You” are fake for absolute.

I knew it because we are in totally different time zones. I knew it clearly.

Lately I am daydreaming for a new/ dream home with my mum. We came to a discussion of a swimming pool. Having been living in flats for our whole lives, we are excited yet can’t imagine if moving into a house with garden one day, not to mention a pool. Will be too excited when/ if the day comes.

Anyways. We were imagining how to manage the swimming pool. Mum questioned, “How much water do we need to fill the pool?”

Then I pondered.

Let’s imagine. A bathtub of water is plenty already. How many bathtub-full water to fill up the pool? A bathtub of water is only a puddle in a pool.

Besides it’s not merely about money. Let’s consider people in the developing countries, who don’t have clean water supply. Suddenly I am a bit of guilty for the future water in my pool.

“Even if you are not using this water, they can’t be transfer to those people.”

Cried in the hostel alone, no one heard. But I realised I shouldn’t shut myself in the room, so I was out to sightsee, trying to be as usual. Visiting the monument, my heart was heavy enough to resonate the pain and hopelessness of the sufferers (after all these years I know what I encountered is nothing compared to the victims at wars).

And it was suffering when seeing elderly travellers on streets. All I can do is to shed tears beneath the sunglasses. Was I torturing myself?

It was the first time I dealt with death. It is, a person travels far, not coming back in any means. Death is a point of event, a point of disappearance, entirely.