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paige is silent for a moment. azzi braces herself. "there's an upper level?" paige snaps. then she sighs, and azzi can practically see her running her hand over her face. "well can you come upstairs, then?? it took me twenty minutes to move half a mile, azzi, it's easier if you just come to me."

"okay, okay," azzi mutters, dragging her oversized suitcase back into the airport. it takes her almost ten minutes to even find an escalator that goes up, and her arm is fucking tired from lugging her bag around for almost thirty minutes now. it's twice as hard trying to keep paige on the phone at the same time. she considers more than once just hanging up on her girlfriend, but she's scared of making paige's mood even worse.

finally, she makes it upstairs and outside. paige's car is waiting for her only twenty feet away, and in the driver's seat is paige herself.

"i see you," azzi says into her phone.

paige looks up through her windshield and doesn't even smile, just opens the car door, climbs out, and walks to the back to open the trunk for azzi.

azzi hangs up the call and slips her phone in her pocket, heart twisting in her chest as she pulls her bag around paige's car.

paige takes the bag from her wordlessly, hefting it up and into the back before shutting the trunk more aggressively than she needs to. azzi stands a few feet back, waiting awkwardly.

paige turns to her, then, and azzi recognizes the unhappy lines on her face. she still reaches an arm out and around azzi, greeting her with a quick, "hi, babe," before pulling back and walking back around to the driver's seat.

azzi takes her place in the passenger seat and doesn't say anything as paige shifts the car into drive.

"how was your flight?" paige asks, looking in her blind spot as she starts pulling off of the curb.

"it was fine," azzi says. "there was a baby that wouldn't stop crying the whole time, but i had my headphones."

"that's good," paige says. but she's not really paying attention. azzi can tell.

they slowly make their way out of the airport and on to the highway, paige locked in on driving and azzi zoning out. if she weren't so irritated herself, paige would notice the way azzi's knees are leaning toward her door. but she doesn't.

or if she does, she doesn't say anything about it.

"za and maddy are coming over for dinner," paige says, slipping them into the carpool lane with ease.

"i remember," azzi says.

paige scoffs and glances at her. "what's that supposed to mean?"

azzi frowns. even when she’s doing everything in her power not to annoy paige, paige finds a way to make herself annoyed. impatience seeps into azzi’s voice as she says, “it means that i remember. you told me last week. i remembered."

azzi watches paige roll her eyes, and indignation swells in her throat. "yeah but you have that tone."

azzi shakes her head incredulously, brows pulled together. "what tone?" she snaps. "i remembered, and i told you i remembered. that's all that happened."

"you're mad," paige concludes.

"i'm not—" azzi snaps her mouth shut. "okay now i'm mad, but only because you said that."

paige laughs humorlessly. "yeah, it's my fault," she mutters. "because i wanted to remind you."

azzi's jaw drops. "are you kidding me?"

paige throws her right hand in the air, shrugging as if she can't comprehend what's bothering azzi. "i don't know what's happening right now!" she yells.

azzi shuts in on herself, crossing her arms and turning fully away from her girlfriend. "fine. whatever."

"yeah," paige scoffs. "whatever."

azzi rolls her eyes.

the rest of the drive goes by in silence.

when they get to paige's apartment, azzi rolls her suitcase into paige's bedroom and lays it out in an empty corner. it's there, kneeling before her rolled-up clothes, half of them paige's anyway, that she remembers they haven't seen each other in months. paige had a countdown to today in her calendar. they’d ended their calls for the past three weeks by saying, “i can’t wait to see you.”

azzi closes her eyes and takes a breath. two. when she feels the tightness in her shoulders melt the slightest bit, she walks out to the kitchen. paige is there, leaning against the counter and typing on her phone.

"'m just gonna order something; i don't think they expect me to cook," paige says without looking up.

"okay," azzi says softly.

she walks up beside paige, letting their arms press together as she looks over paige's shoulder to see her phone screen.

"don't choose anything too unhealthy," azzi requests.

paige makes a quiet scoff, but she doesn't say anything before clicking the "healthy" food category on doordash.

they choose what to order together, and azzi lets herself relax into the feeling of being together again. existing in paige's space. breathing the same air.

once the order's been sent off, paige straightens up off the counter. "'m kind of tired," she announces. "might take a nap before they get here."

azzi feels the sinking in her chest she knows as disappointment. "oh," she says. "okay."

paige turns to look at her for the first time since azzi came into the kitchen. "you gonna come?" she asks.

azzi purses her lips. "i'm not tired."

paige just nods, looking away. "'kay." she turns and walks into the bedroom, calling out behind her, "food'll be here at 6. wake me up if i'm not out by 5:50."

azzi only realizes how furrowed her brows are when she relaxes them, a minute and a half after watching paige disappear into her bedroom. okay. fine. azzi came out to spend time with her, and paige immediately went to take a nap. they only have three days together before azzi has to leave again, but whatever. whatever.

azzi blows out a breath of frustration and walks over to her backpack, which she left by the front door, taking out the book she'd started on the flight over. she'll just read until paige is awake, then.

whatever.

the hours pass quickly when azzi's escaped into a fictional world, and soon enough, the door to paige's bedroom is opening again.

at the sight of her girlfriend, a reminder of who she could’ve been spending time with instead of a list of fictional characters, a lump of annoyance wells up in azzi's throat again. "good morning, sleeping beauty," she calls from the couch.

paige ignores her, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. she looks adorably rumpled, hair mussed and delicate lips stretching out in a yawn. when she reaches her arms out in a stretch, her shirt raises to reveal a thin line of skin.

azzi feels herself softening again. damn her stupid, fickle heart.

"i have to go down to grab the food," paige says, blinking slowly as her brain comes back online. "you'll be okay up here?"

i was okay while you slept the afternoon away, azzi thinks.

"yeah, i'll be fine," she says instead.

"'kay." paige turns to slip on a pair of shoes and go downstairs.

paige gets the food, and then zaza and maddy are arriving. dinner is a boisterous affair with the combination of them.

azzi knows zaza and maddy, has met them on her past few visits to paige, but they're still paige's friends. she feels herself sliding back into herself, becoming the person she is when she's around people she doesn't know that well. and she hates it. hates that she and paige only have a couple days and they haven't spent any of that time so far just being together. all azzi craves is to be together with paige.

"hey, how was your flight?" maddy asks, drawing azzi out of her thoughts.

azzi panicks briefly, wondering if maddy could tell she was zoning out. "it was fine," azzi says with a smile. "there was a crying baby, though."

maddy frowns. "i hate when that happens."

"really?" paige says. "that sucks."

azzi's face falls into one of flat annoyance. she turns to glare at paige, and paige frowns defensively.

"yes," azzi says sharply. "i told you in the car."

paige's shoulders stiffen, and azzi practically sees her putting up her walls between them. "okay, sorry. i didn't catch that."

azzi huffs and turns away from her. she doesn't know why it bothers her so much when she'd already known paige hadn't been paying attention.

"so..." zaza says gently. "what else do you guys have planned for the weekend?"

azzi looks to paige.

paige shrugs without looking back at azzi. "don't know yet. i haven't planned anything."

azzi feels it like a bristle down her throat. our time together isn't precious to me, she hears paige saying.

azzi fully shuts in on herself, then, crossing her legs so she's leaning away from paige and tapping completely out of the conversation.

as the dinner goes on, it becomes more and more obvious that paige isn't even trying to include her. she and za make jokes, buckling over in laughter as maddy chides them for being immature and azzi sits silently on an island halfway across the world.

then they start referencing stories that azzi doesn't even know about, and azzi feels her blood begin to boil.

"wait, does azzi even know about the gluten free donuts?" maddy asks as zaza slaps paige's thigh, both of them breathless from laughing.

"no," azzi admits, and her voice is strained from how tight her throat is.

"well basically," maddy starts, but then paige is leaning over to fork a bite off of azzi's plate, and azzi sees red.

she swats paige's arm away hard enough for it to make a noise and stands abruptly, the chair squeaking behind her. maddy falls silent, and za's face falls. azzi's heart sinks as she realizes she's well and truly ruined the vibe of the evening with her unhappiness. but part of her feels it as a burning satisfaction. at least paige isn't having a fucking ball with her friends right in front of azzi anymore.

"i'm going to the bathroom," azzi announces.

"okay," za replies. "are you okay?"

azzi gives her a forced smile. "yeah, sorry, continue without me," she says. then she looks over to paige, and paige is already tucking back into her own food. the only one not looking at azzi making a scene when azzi is making a scene because she wants her attention. of course. of fucking course.

azzi's fake smile is long gone as she stares resentfully at paige shoving bites of food into her mouth. then azzi huffs and storms off into the bathroom. she can hear the conversation start reluctantly up again behind her. she wonders if paige is apologizing for how difficult azzi is being.

it takes some restraint for azzi not to slam the bathroom door shut, and her knuckles are white with it as she turns the doorknob degree by degree. even the way she's gentle with the door is drenched in anger.

she splashes her face with water and uses paige's towel to dry it because paige hasn't put out a towel for azzi yet.

then her phone dings with a notification.

paige: u want them to leave?

azzi wants to scream. the absolute last thing she wants is to be deemed such a mood killer that the night has to end.

azzi: no.

azzi: i want it to feel like i'm hanging out with you guys and not just watching you guys hang out

the next text paige sends makes azzi seriously consider ripping the doors of her bathroom cabinets off their hinges.

paige: well ur not exactly being pleasant to be around rn

azzi's furious that paige said it, and she's even more furious that it's true. fucking sue azzi for not being able to compartmentalize as well as her girlfriend. for not being able to shelve the fact that they'd been simmering in irritation and short tempers all day to suddenly become the life of the party as soon as a third and fourth party are introduced.

i hate you, azzi wants to text back. i hate that you can't see i'm being like this because i care about you so much.

instead, she looks at the time and realizes she's been in the bathroom for almost ten minutes. she grits her teeth and tenses her arms, shaking them out to try and expel some of the outrage clogging her bloodstream. then azzi closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and returns to dinner.

zaza and maddy and cleaning up the table, and paige is doing dishes.

"oh, hey, azzi," zaza says as azzi approaches. "you okay?"

azzi nods. "all done?"

maddy walks by, carrying a takeout container to paige's fridge. "za and i gotta head out. but we covered your plate to keep your food warm!"

azzi hopes with all her soul that they aren't leaving because of her, but she can't help the wash of relief that comes with the news.

"thanks, guys," azzi says.

they don't leave anything for her to clean up other than the remaining four bites on her plate that she finishes with ease. paige lets azzi walk them out the door, shouting a "see you guys!" from the kitchen sink.

after exchanging a plethora of pleasantries, azzi shuts the door behind maddy and za. she takes a deep breath before walking back into the kitchen.

paige is done doing dishes, drying her hands on the kitchen towel and looking up as azzi walks in.

paige has that look on her face, every muscle relaxed like she's decided she doesn't have any emotions. azzi knows as soon as she sees it that they're not going to talk.

paige walks past azzi to get out of the kitchen. she can pretend she doesn't hold grudges all she wants, but azzi knows by the way that paige doesn't make contact with her—brushing their arms against each other or reaching out a hand to touch azzi's waist—that paige is still upset, too.

fine. if paige wants a cold war, azzi will follow her into it.

they get ready for bed mostly in silence, just little comments here and there.

you changed your toothpaste.

mhm.

can you put this over there?

close the door.

azzi feels floaty by the time they're climbing into bed, drained of the energy it takes to feel angry. she's something else now, something that feels less like heat and more like an echo.

paige flicks off the light and climbs into bed beside her. "goodnight," she says, and then she burrows herself into her pillow, facing away from azzi.

azzi presses her fingertips into her lips. this is her first night in dallas, and paige's arms aren't around her. she remembers last night and the night before, the aching longing in her heart to be lying next to paige. the way the only thing that could get her to sleep was the thought of how soon it would be that paige would be next to her. the heat of her back under her shirt. the sprawl of her hair on the pillow. the press of her mouth as she kissed azzi goodnight. azzi had turned herself inside out wanting it.

she's getting this instead.

she doesn't mean to cry, but the tears spring forth with little warning, and then she's sniffling because they fill her nose too. paige moves, the sheets rustling around her.

"what," she asks flatly.

azzi's chest cracks open, cold air rushing in. she screws up her face and turns away from paige, tears slipping down her nose and dripping on to the pillow. "nothing," she says.

paige sighs. "i'm sorry for saying it like that," she says gently. azzi feels her scoot a little closer, but they're still not touching anywhere. "what's wrong, baby?"

it's the first time paige has called her that all day, and azzi's heart melts at the sound of it. me, it's telling azzi. that's me.

she doesn't plan to say it. the words flow through her like her tears. "i miss you," azzi says.

the present tense sits heavy in the air for them both. paige is quiet for a long time.

azzi's heart squeezes in her chest at the admission, tears spilling forth like from a spring, and she remembers that paige is her favorite person to be around. that she loves her so much it makes her sick to think about. nothing they've fought about feels like it matters anymore, only the fact that it brought them here, where the bed is cold and there's space between them.

then paige is moving again, and azzi feels the press of her lips against her shoulder. her hand on azzi's arm, tugging at her lightly. "can you turn around please?"

azzi obliges, a shuddering breath sipping air into her lungs, and then she's on her back like paige wants her.

"i'm sorry today was a hard day for us," paige says softly.

azzi's face crumples. "i'm sorry i was being hard to be around," she chokes out. embarrassment heats her face, and more tears slip down her face.

paige's face falls, guilt and sadness clear across it. she swipes her thumb against azzi's face. "no, baby, you weren't. i shouldn't have said that," she says. then paige scoots closer, holding one side of azzi's face and pressing her nose into the other. "but i'd choose a million hard days with you over a single day with anyone else."

azzi lets out a watery laugh. "you're lame," she says. "and gay."

paige huffs against her face.

azzi reaches out her arms, and paige shuffles to slot herself between them, lying her head on azzi's chest and putting her legs over azzi's. azzi brushes paige's hair back from her forehead to press kiss after kiss into the skin there, her sniffles slowing down as the minutes pass.

paige's hand is on azzi's waist, her thumb running back and forth over the skin there, and azzi is happy. this is what she wanted. it's what she wanted all day.

paige makes a little humming noise. "i'd fuck you, but i'm kinda too tired," she says, and azzi laughs again. "tomorrow, though," paige adds. "makeup sex at 10 am. get ready."

azzi scoops paige's head up in her arms and presses a kiss to her forehead, her nose, her lips. her lips again. paige's fingers curl into the skin of azzi's waist.