"i feel like i haven’t asked, how are yall feeling about this whole casa thing?" you asked, propping yourself up on your elbows and looking around the circle, genuinely curious about where everyone’s head was at.

"honestly? an absolute fever dream," mari groaned first, adjusting the straps of her neon green bikini as she sat up. "the boys are sweet, don't get me wrong. but every time i look at malik or any of them, i just see my man back at casa. it's tough out here trying to pretend like i'm completely open when i really just want dave."

"i think it's all about perspective," andreina chimed in, applying a fresh coat of lip gloss as she leaned back against the chair. "for me, waking up in soul ties with you was the most peaceful sleep i’ve had since i been here! but as far as the guys go, it’s nice being pursued. they’re really trying. i just don't know if the spark is actually stronger than what i built before with trey."

ken let out a long, dramatic sigh, resting her chin on her hands as she looked over at the pool steps where a couple of the casa boys were tossing a ball back and forth. "i’m having fun, but last night's challenge kind of threw me off. seeing how fast everyone can switch gears... it makes you think about what the hell our boys are doing over there right now. then alex and i haven’t been coupled up that long so who the fuck knows what he’s thinking.”

"which brings us back to you, sweet girl," imani said softly, turning her head toward you from her towel, observing over the rim of her shades. "you took the chain off last night. you kissed some of the boys. how are you actually feeling today? no bullshit."

"i’m okay i guess," you murmured, a small, weary smile touching your lips as you kicked your heels lightly against the water. "taking the chain off really felt horrible. but i’m trying not to spend every second moping while he's over there. if he comes back alone, amazing. if he doesn't... at least i didn't spend three days staring at the ceiling."

djed sat on the wooden deck near the edge of the casa amor pool, his long legs dangling into the clear water. the sun beating down on his bare shoulders, but he was completely frozen in place.

after what happened with zaria in the bedroom the night before, he had spent the entire morning putting up a wall around himself.

"you good, bro?" trey asked, tossing a towel over his shoulder as he walked past to head toward the kitchen.

"yeah, man. just chilling," djed replied, his voice low and dismissive.

a few feet away, zaria and savannah were lying on the loungers, whispering to each other and stealing glances in his direction. zaria sat up, adjusting her bikini before getting up to walk toward him, clearly intending to sit beside him on the deck.

djed caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and immediately pulled his legs out of the water, pushing himself up to standing before she could even cross the grass.

"i'm gonna grab some water," he muttered softly, giving her a small, tight nod as he walked right past her toward the kitchen area, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead.

he grabbed his bottle and leaned against the counter. he didn't care if the boys thought he was being boring or if the casa girls weren’t fucking with him. he had messed up enough already by letting down his guard, and every bone in his body was screaming at him to just hold out until recoupling day.

all of a sudden, every single phone in both villas pinged at the exact same second. everyone froze as you exchanged confused, wide-eyed looks with the girls as you pulled your phone out from under your towel.

"a video?" mari muttered, her voice laced with sudden anxiety as she tapped her screen.

you clicked the one on your screen, your heart slamming into your ribs. each islander had received clips of what their partners had been up to behind closed doors.

the video loaded, and djed’s face appeared.

it started off with him sitting near the gym, speaking to the boys about how hard it was for him to open up to the casa girls because his mind was still on you. you felt a slight drop in your stomach, but then the screen cut to a new scene.

it was zaria sitting close to him on the daybeds, leaning in with that sly smile. "i think it’s fair to yourself that you do explore... you never know, we might surprise you," her voice echoed clearly through your phone's speaker.

you let out a scoff, rolling your eyes as your jaw tightened. but, the video didn't stop there. it cut to the chaos of last night's challenge, showing djed in the three-way kiss with maya and zaria.

"oh, hell no," imani whispered, leaning over your shoulder to watch.

then came the clip that completely knocked the air out of your lungs. the video cut to the bedroom corner late at night. zaria was climbing straight into his lap, cupping his face, and pulling him into an intimate kiss. you watched as djed sat there arms in mid-air, accepting the kiss before breaking it off.

the last and final clip played: djed alone in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the sink with his head buried in his hands, in sheer dread over what had just happened.

the screen went black.

a heavy, suffocating silence fell over the daybeds. as you all tried to process just what happened. you sat frozen in your, staring at your blank screen.

you had no idea how to feel. i mean, it was just a challenge, right? you’d kissed malik, and cameron, and the other casa boys. but you hadn’t kissed anyone outside of a challenge. you hadn’t even slept in the same bed with them.

you stood up from the daybeds, your legs feeling like lead underneath you.

"where are you going?" imani asked softly, her eyes filled with genuine concern as she reached out toward you.

"i just need a minute," you said lowly, not trusting your voice to stay steady if you said anything else.

you wandered away from the pool area and headed straight for the speakeasy, pushing the door open and shutting it behind you to block out the noise. you climbed onto the sofa, pulling your legs up and tucking them under you as you rested your palm heavily against your forehead.

a moment later, the door clicked open again. mari stepped inside, shutting it quietly behind her before walking over to the couch.

“hey,” she said gently, sinking down onto the cushion next to you. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you tried to smile, but as the words left your mouth, a single, warm tear escaped and tracked its way down your cheek. you quickly wiped it away with the back of your hand, reaching up to yank your sunglasses down to cover your eyes, desperately trying to pull yourself back together.

over in casa, djed had wandered off to a secluded area in the villa, needing absolute privacy the second his phone buzzed. he tapped the screen with trembling fingers, his pulse hammering in his throat. this was his first time seeing or hearing from you since he’d left for casa.

the clip started with you lounging on one of the outdoor couches, your skin glowing in the sunlight, wearing his ankh proudly around your neck. a soft smile crossed his face for a split second before the next clip rolled.

showing you sleeping alone on the couch in the speakeasy, curled into a tight ball, clearly missing him. djed swallowed hard, the sight of you sleeping alone wringing his heart.

then, the tone of the video shifted.

it cut to the dressing room. imani stood right in front of you, her voice echoed through his speakers: “you gonna keep being sad while he’s over there doing him? or are you gonna have a good fucking time? i hate to be like that, but you moping around is not gonna bring him back, and it’s not gonna make him stay loyal to you either. you’re here for you. not djed fucking spence.”

djed’s jaw clenched, his eyes glued to the screen as he watched you reach behind your neck, unclasping his chain and tucking it away. a sickening drop hit the pit of his stomach.

the next clip showed cameron hoisting you up onto the marble kitchen island, climbing on top of you, and pulling you into a passionate, lingering kiss while the rest of the villa cheered. djed’s chest heaved, his knuckles turning white around his phone as a sharp mix of anger and self-loathing tore through him.

the final clip played softly: you fast asleep in soul ties beside andreina, completely wrapped in a blanket, holding a picture from the photo booth tightly in your hand.

the screen went dark.

djed sat on the bench in dead silence, the pain of seeing another man’s hands on you mixed with the lingering guilt of his own foolish slip-up with zaria was the exact reason he was standing on the brink of losing you.

mari squeezed your hand tight, leaning in close as you confided in her.

“i don’t regret anything,” you said softly, your voice trembling as you looked down at your hands. “i wanted him to explore and get to know other people so that when he came back to me he’d be sure that this is what he wanted, you know? it just hurts seeing it… i feel so lame crying over someone i’ve only known for like four weeks.”

you let out a bitter little laugh, wiping at the tears slipping under your sunglasses.

“but i really do like him, mari. and i know it was just a challenge, but i’m not over here three-way kissing niggas. bruh i literally slept outside, and i hate outside!”

mari couldn't help but crack a small smile at that last part, she pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing your arm.

"you’re not lame or silly for having feelings.," mari said gently, "four weeks in this crazy-ass house literally feels like four months. your feelings are valid, okay? you were respectful and mindful of him. you slept on a damn outdoor sofa because your heart wasn't in it with anybody else."

she reached up and gently smoothed a stray braid away from your face.

"you gave him the space to prove who he is, and now he’s showing you. and if he walks back through those doors with someone else, it’s entirely on him. not you."

you took a deep, shaky breath, the weight in your chest easing just a little. times like this you were grateful that you’d found a friend in mari.

“what was in your video?” you asked, turning on the velvet sofa to look at mari.

“oh, dave showed his entire ass,” mari spat out, with pure disbelief. “not just in the challenge, but he’s over there kissing bitches outside of challenges, giving foot rubs! and it’s like… um, hello?” she gestured wildly at herself. “what the fuck are we doing here? you’ve been all about me since day one, now you get some attention from other bitches and you’re going?”

“bitch… you’re lying,” you said, genuinely shocked because.

without a word, mari snatched her phone off the cushion and played the video for you. your eyes went wide the entire time the video rolled. he was genuinely moving like amari didn’t exist.

“no way,” you breathed, gasping as the screen went dark.

“and if he thinks he’s about to come back to me, that shit is dead,” mari said, “i’m not wasting the time we have left on a man who wouldn’t spit on me if i was on fire.”

“and you shouldn’t!” you yelled, your own feelings temporarily sidelined by pure rage. “he’s so disrespectful! if you been feeling that way this whole time, why not say something? why wait till casa amor to be on weird shit? like you just played in all our fuckin faces!”

mari shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh as she tucked her phone away. “literally! sitting there talking about ‘you’re my dream girl, mari’ for three four weeks straight, just to act like a fucking dog the second my back is turned. i’m so done.”

“good,” you said, reaching over to squeeze her hand tight. “make that nigga eat his words. he doesn’t deserve you.”

the energy in the dressing room that evening was depressing to say the least.as everyone zipped up dresses and strapped on heels, the full picture finally emerged: the boys over in casa amor were having a fucking time.

jayden had been locking lips with literally every single girl who breathed in his direction. sam was looking comfortable and cozy with a blonde, the complete opposite of imani. trey took the disrespect to a whole new tier, having literally jumped into the shower with a bitch. and alex was at least being somewhat mindful of ken, but considering they’d only been coupled up for two days before the casa split, ken wasn’t expecting much anyway.

"wait a minute," ken said, pausing with a lip liner mid-air to look at you through the vanity mirror. "so... out of all of them... djed is actually the only one who didn't completely lose his fucking mind?"

as gut-wrenching as djed's clip had been to watch with zaria climbing into his lap in the bedroom, he was ironically the only boy who had remotely shown any sense of a moral compass across the past few days. he hadn't showered with anyone, hadn't gone on a kissing spree, and spent eighty percent of his time looking like he was attending a funeral.

"it's still fucked up," imani growled, "he still let that girl kiss him in that bed. but compared to trey showering with a whole stranger? djed looks like a damn saint, and I hate that for you."

"the bar is literally in hell.”

over in casa, the bedroom was in shambles. the guys were between pacing the floorboards, watching the videos over again and staring blankly at the ceiling in pure disbelief.

“man, who the fuck is damian?!” trey yelled, kicking a throw pillow across the carpet as he paced back and forth. “all up on andreina... on my woman!”

djed, who was sitting on the edge of the mattress silently chewing on his lip, slowly raised his head and shot him a look. one that said, “nigga, you can’t be serious.”

“i know you of all people don’t feel a way right now,” djed said, his voice cutting through trey’s rant. “all of you have been wildin’ since you got here, and now that some other man’s pushing up on your girl, it’s an issue? are you mad?”

trey snapped his mouth shut, crossing his arms and glaring at the wall, unable to back up his own rage.

the irony of the whole situation was hilarious. the boys' videos had been fairly vanilla compared to the chaos the girls were currently watching back in the main villa. not a single girl back home had kissed anyone outside of a challenge, no one had done anything wild, and every single one of them had been completely respectful.

it was painfully clear that the boys had not extended that same courtesy.

“fuck, man... if we got these videos,” sam spoke up from the corner, his head buried deep in his hands as reality finally crashed down on him, “imagine what they got.”

the room went completely silent.

djed leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as a sick, heavy pit settled deep in his stomach. he knew exactly what clip you had received and he was genuinely terrified of what was going to happen to his relationship.

all day, djed had managed to put on a masterclass in avoidance. he’d dodged zaria after bringing her breakfast, bypassed her at the pool, and practically sprinted into the bedroom every time she drifted within a five-foot radius of him.

he was standing near the edge of the terrace, staring blankly over the railing with a drink pressed against his palm, when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

"hey," zaria’s voice cut through his thoughts.

he turned around slowly. she was leaning against the wooden pillar, her eyes locked onto his.

"can we go for a chat?" she asked softly, tilting her head toward the daybeds in the far corner of the villa.

djed took a slow, heavy breath, knowing he couldn't keep dodging her. not with recoupling day looming right around the corner.

"yeah," he said lowly, his tone completely flat as he set his cup down on the ledge. "let's chat."

zaria’s face dropped slightly, her arms folding across her chest as they sat down on the far daybed.

“i feel like you’ve been ignoring me,” she said, her voice laced with disappointment. “i thought you liked our kisses and our chats—”

“it’s not that i didn’t,” djed interrupted softly, “i’m sorry that i’ve been avoiding you, but the connection i have in the villa means a lot to me and i don’t want to jeopardize that.”

zaria stared at him, caught off guard by how direct and firm his tone was. the playful confidence she had carried all week vanished in an instant.

“so... that’s it then?” she asked, looking for any sign of hesitation in his face. “you’re closing off completely?”

“yeah,” djed said, taking a slow breath and nodding. “i took a step back today because i had to be honest with myself. what happened yesterday was a mistake on my part. i let the moment get the best of me, and that wasn't fair to you, and it definitely wasn't fair to her. i’m not here to lead you on or pretend like my mind isn't completely somewhere else.”

zaria let out a quiet, tight sigh, biting her lip before giving him a small nod. “i mean... i respect your honesty.”

“i appreciate you understanding,” djed said, keeping his distance as he stood up from the cushion. “you’re a great girl, truly. and i hope you can find someone who likes you as much as you like them.”

he gave her a polite, side hug, and turned around, walking back toward the villa with a slightly lighter weight on his chest.

“i just think i’m having such a hard time because i pour into people so much and i expect the same thing back, you know?”

you took a sharp, unsteady breath, leaning back against the sofa in the confessional. your eyes shiny under the studio lights, but you forced yourself to keep staring straight into the camera lens.

“i’m not mad at djed or angry. i mean... we’re here to find love, right?” you let out a dry, quiet chuckle that lacked any real humor, shaking your head softly. “and if he finds a connection with someone else, then that’s what he’s supposed to do. that’s literally the point of this whole test.”

you paused, picking at the strap of your dress as your voice softened, and tears flowed down your face.

“it just hurts because when i’m in, i’m all the way in. i didn’t even want to share a bed with anybody else. because in my mind, nobody in here could compare to what him and i were building. so to sit there and watch a video where he’s letting another girl climb into his lap... it just makes you feel like an idiot for caring as much as you do not knowing where his head is at or if he feels the same way. it might be crazy and selfish of me to say that i want him to come back to me but i do. he’s the only one i want.”

you pulled your chin up, wiping your stray tears.

“but it’s fine,” you said firmly, forcing a small, shaking your head. “he’s gonna make his choice, and i’m gonna make mine. whatever happens, i know where i stand.”

over in the casa casa confessional, djed was sitting slumped in the pillows, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he stared down at his sneakers.

"i'm just losing my mind, to be honest," he admitted, running a slow, heavy palm over his face before looking straight into the camera. his usual laid-back composure was completely gone, his voice thick and heavy.

"you come into this place thinking you can keep a cool head, but i haven't slept properly since the day we got split up," he muttered, resting his elbows on his knees. "all i do is think about her. every second of every day, it's just her. i sit by the pool, thinking of her. i hate this man."

he leaned back, letting out a frustrated sigh that sounded more like a growl.

"and the worst part is knowing i messed up," he said, his eyes darkening with pure guilt. "i let my guard down for one second with zaria, and i know for a fact it's gonna hurt her when she sees it. seeing that video of her sleeping outside... holding that booth picture... it pains me to see that. i only want to see her smile."

he shook his head, pressing his fingertips against the bridge of his nose as if trying to hold himself together.

"i don't care about casa, i don't care about making new connections. i just need to get back to that villa, look her in her eyes, and fix this. if i lose her over this... i'm never gonna forgive myself."

It was almost a miracle that you were home. But even when you were, it was empty. You busied yourself with watching TV, reading books, playing video games, or picking up new hobbies like crocheting or sewing. But it was never enough to make the weight of his absence disappear.

Michael would leave early in the morning for practice, pressing a feather kiss on your forehead as you were still asleep. And return home too exhausted to go on a date. So you'd both enjoy dinner together and cozy up on the couch, talking and playing chess together. That, on the few occasions in which he did not go straight to bed, too tired from practice.

And then every few weeks, he'd be gone for several days for a match across the country or across the continent for the Champions League. Sometimes you'd come with him, but even then, his time was too taken up. Practice before the match, then exhaustion after the match, so he'd fall asleep as soon as his face would touch the pillow.

It was impossible to match your schedules. And when you both managed to be together, you barely did anything together. You had fallen into a routine of living different lives inside the same apartment. You were roommates more than you were lovers.

And one day, the frustration finally snapped.

"I really don't get why you're so upset," you said, looking at Michael's back. With the suitcase in the bag, he was packing for the National Team's trip to the U.S. "Michael, I'm talking to you."

But as stubborn as he was, or perhaps avoidant of conflict, he walked up to the closest. He moved aside some of the clothes, the hangers screeching against the metal, only to move them back to their original place and push them aside again. He just needed to keep himself moving, fearing to say something he might regret.

But the fall had already begun.

"Michael," you pressed.

"You're gonna be gone for three months again," he said, his voice tight. "You've just got here."

"You're literally going to the U.S."

"Yeah, for a week, not three months," he snapped, finally facing you. It was a foreign sight to you. Michael never looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and clear irritation in his eyes. Until now. "You're barely here. Most of the year, the house is empty because you're always somewhere doing something."

Maybe you shouldn't have, but you got defensive.

"Well, sorry that I have a career to take care of," you sniped.

"You know damn well that's not what I meant," he shot back. "I'm not mad at what you do."

"Then what did you mean?"

"That I want to spend time with my girlfriend!"

"And do you think that's not what I want?" you exclaimed, tears gathering in your eyes, though you refused to let them fall. "Spending time with you? That's all that I want!"

He scoffed. "And yet you're just gonna go ahead and disappear for three months."

"Yeah, well, maybe if I were happy here, I wouldn't have accepted that role!"

Michael froze, his heart sinking and his eyes lingering on you as you harshly brushed away your tears, only for more to fall.

"You're not happy with me...?" his voice was quieter than you had ever heard it be, his shoulders slacking as if losing any bit of strength.

Only the bed separated you from him, but the distance felt bigger than it ever was. A rift had cracked between the two of you, and you were not certain anymore that it could be put back together.

"I wake up, and you're not here." You swallowed back a sob, your eyes burning and blurring. "And when you come back, we sit at home because you're too tired to do anything else. Then you leave for matches, and I don't see you for days-- and I get it; it's your job, and I'm fine with it. But don't blame me for being too busy when it's the same thing for you! We barely live together anymore!"

Your lip quivering against your palm, you had pressed your hand against your mouth in a vain attempt to muffle your sobs. All that frustration, cumulated over the past months, mingled with that never-ending love you had for him, just surged up before you could stop it.

"You're gonna leave for the U.S then come back and go straight to club football again," you continued, your voice cracking. "And I'll sit here, in that damn empty house, waiting for you, just for you to go straight to bed when you come home. You're here, but you're not..."

Of course, you wanted to wake up to him. To cuddle in his arms and take a late-night stroll. You never wanted anything fancy, just quality time with him. But that had been decreasing as the days passed, until ultimately falling into an empty routine. And of course you felt guilty. Every time you had to leave for a show or a role. Every time you were away for too long. And every time, you were asking yourself: should I take it? Or should I stay home with him? Does he feel lonely when I work too much?

But Michael would tell you, "Do it. It's a good opportunity." And he meant it. He truly meant it. Each time. He was proud of you. Each time.

But love was to be nurtured. And the two of you had been too occupied by your respective careers, never finding the right balance. So, in the end, though you were together, you were not together anymore. Love was there, ever so present. Ever so strong. But you were just living under the same roof. Neither of you were living the love anymore. It remained dormant. There but silent and unseen.

"So what does it mean for us...?" Michael dared to ask.

He couldn't just quit football. And you couldn't just quit singing and acting. And clearing, it seemed both your careers were incompatible.

So there was only one thing left to do.

"I think we should take a break." Your voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible. And for a moment, Michael thought he had dreamed it. But the pain in his heart, like a dagger piercing it deep, was too real to be a dream. "We need to... figure things out on our own... for a while."

All he did was nod. A slow nod, as if his body was acting on its own, his mind too clouded and his brain shut down.

That night, you slept in the guest room. Michael wanted you to have the bedroom, but you wouldn't have been able to sleep smelling his scent in the sheets. You barely slept anyway, spending most of the time silently crying.

In the morning, Michael was gone to rejoin the National Team at the airport. He had knocked on your door, muttering to you that he was about to leave. And when the front door shut, you broke down again. You packed all your things, and you left.

It was supposed to be a break. But who ever defined how long a break should last? A few weeks? A month? Two? When does a break become a break-up?

Five months. Five months had passed since the argument. Since you left Munich to move back into your old city. You had shot another series, and the World Cup passed, sadly with a loss for the French Team. And naturally, people noticed.

You were not there.

With the players' families. With the players' girlfriends. In the bleachers at every match. You were not there.

And speculation after speculation, the tabloids finally confirmed:

[France's player Michael Olise and popstar and actress (Y/N) have reportedly broken up, source reports.]

[According to someone close to both, Michael Olise and (Y/N) had broken up months before the World Cup.]

[Footballer Michael Olise and popstar (Y/N) are no longer together, a source reveals.]

⤷ @/likeacandlewax What??? They were so good together ⤷ @/BJisnothislover I just fell to my knees ⤷ @/URavegetable It's over, love doesn't exist y'all ⤷ @/includingjermaine Worst day of my life, they were so cute together ⤷ @/goldenpantslover I genuinely thought they'd get married and everything, they looked so happy together ⤷ @/goatlise Daily reminder to never get invested in a celebrity couple, it just ends up with heartbreak ⤷ @/YNnewicon Ooooh (Y/N)'s next album is gonna SLAP ⤷ @/ballondorwinner Olise fucked up, didn't he?

A part of you felt guilty when all hell broke loose. For days, you and Michael were the number one trending topic across all social media platforms. Theories were flourishing; people were blaming him, people were blaming you, and some others were fearing this might impact his mindset for the matches. And that was a concern you shared. You trusted the National Team's staff to keep him away from all this and keep him focused on the World Cup. Kylian would surely not let his resolve waver. Michael was well surrounded.

But you hated having your business aired like that. Having all these strangers have an opinion on you and your life without even knowing a tenth of what happened in your life.

It came with the job, sadly. So all you could do was focus on your album.

But then it happened.

You were in the studio, recording the final vocals for the last song that needed rework before fully being on your next project. Your friend, Jean, had come to watch you work, giving you feedback alongside your producers. But a frown appeared when you left the booth and walked back into the sound engineering room. The second you had walked on the other side of the glass, Jean scurried to turn off her phone.

"You do know that I literally just saw you put it away, right?" you said.

She smiled at you innocently. "Put what away?"

"Girl."

She sighed, and that was also when you noticed your producer's anxious expression. His leg was bouncing up and down on the floor, his eyes flickering back to Jean's phone.

She switched it back on and handed it to you. You took it, not thinking much about her reaction. It was probably some dumb rumour someone made up about you again. You were used to it by now.

But your eyes found the screen.

And your froze.

Your heart broke, each piece sinking inside you, as your grip around Jean's phone grew so tight your knuckles turned white. Twitter was opened, and the screen displayed a post. A video. Of Michael enjoying some well-deserved vacation in the Turks and Caicos Islands. Nothing shocking; he had told you many times he wanted to visit. Seems like he got his wish, right? And it must be even better than he must have imagined, as a girl in a bikini was twerking on him. And naturally, he was shirtless, in swimming shorts.

The first thing you thought was, oh, so you wanna play.

But your mouth remained sealed for a moment as you watched the video play itself again and again and again and again and again. His hand on her back, the proximity of their bodies, his smile, all the people around having fun.

Oh, so you really wanna play.

"Girl?" Jean asked, careful. "You alright...?"

"She's pretty," you said. "Actually, she's hot. That bikini really looks good on her."

And as weird as it might sound, you actually meant it. You were never one to put down another woman, except if she had done crazy, unforgivable things. But that woman in the video did not. And quite frankly, neither did Michael. The two of you were on a break. Or broken up. Whatever it was, you were not together anymore. He owed you nothing.

You were not surprised by the video. You knew Michael. He was a man, after all. Of course, he'd enjoy women's company, especially in one's early twenties. And there was nothing wrong with that. Before you began dating, you were also enjoying your early twenties. It was the timing you had a problem with. It was the fact you believed you'd be back together. The World Cup was over, and you were just waiting to finish that damn album before calling him to ask for a talk. You were planning to do so after this very studio session, in fact!

But fuck that now!

If he wanted to play, you would play too. He owed you nothing, so neither did you.

So you tossed the phone back to Jean and took yours out from the couch.

"I need to make a call." You headed out of the room.

"I don't think he's going to answer now," your producer said. "Time difference!"

You closed the door behind you and leaned against the wall. Michael was not the one you wanted to call. You were usually not the petty kind. You despised conflict. But there was so much you could take. He kept texting you even after the break, congratulating you on your achievements, sometimes going as far as saying he missed you. Only to do that in the end.

Very well then.

You scrolled through your contact list and found his name in no time. It only took two rings before the line opened.

"Hi, J," you greeted. "So I was thinking..."

•☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•

It was petty. You knew it was. Jean told you it was. Your manager told you it was. Your publicist told you it was. And quite honestly, you did not give a single fuck. If anything, it would only be beneficial for your album. You did not like these kinds of stunts, usually. But that was not usually.

The fans' screams and shuttering snaps of the paparazzi's cameras were getting louder as the car approached the venue. A luxury brand was hosting a runway show in Copacabana Beach, Brazil, with a bunch of celebrities present. Actors, singers, models--you name it. And as the brand ambassador, it was only normal that you attended too.

In fact, you were the star of the event as it would mark your very first appearance since your breakup with Michael was revealed to the world.

In the car, you checked your hair one last time through the rearview mirror and readjusted the top of your dress. The neckline was so low to show off your cleavage, the underside of your breasts visible to all.

You beamed a smile when you felt a hand gently untangling a strand of your hair that was stuck in your necklace.

"Thanks, J," you said.

"No problem," Jafaar replied with a kind smile. "I know how important that specific event is for you."

You rolled your eyes. "It's not that important."

He laughed. "You know I don't usually do this kind of thing. Only because you're my friend."

"I know." You playfully bumped your shoulder with his. "Thanks for putting up with my whims."

He shrugged. "Been used to it."

You let out a dramatic gasp, which only made him laugh all the more.

"Jokes aside," he continued. "It's been a while since we last hung out, so I'm glad to be called."

"Are you glad so we can hang out, or are you glad because you get awkward during events and now you've got someone to stick to?"

Jafaar's eyes squinted as he laughed, which was a quiet admission of the real motive of his agreement.

"I knew it." You shook your head in fake disappointment. "And here I thought you were actually happy to spend time with me."

"Says the one who called me to spite her ex."

"OK, first of all--"

But he was too lost in hilarity to even hear your argumentation.

Of course, you'd tell Jafaar about your true intentions. You were not one to use someone heartlessly. Though it was not entirely just to get back at Michael. Jafaar was always meant to attend the event; you did not just get him an invite last minute. Though you were not initially meant to arrive together. That was the part you had called him for.

Besides, it also really was linked to your album. Unbeknownst to your fans, your album rollout would begin this very day with a surprise drop, and Jafaar was involved in it. Which rendered this little scheme of yours most perfect. The truth would remain between you and Jafaar (and your close team), while the world would believe it to be purely promotional.

But he would know the truth.

The car finally came to a stop, and you took a deep breath. It seemed that the reality of what you were about to endeavor finally sank in. But it was too late to turn back anyway.

Jafaar gave you one last reassuring smile. Quite ironic. You should be the one reassuring him, not the other way around. You were the one who pulled him into your petty revenge. But that was just who he was. Kindness.

He was the first one to step out. The moment the door opened, the screams of excitement hit you, along with the summer Brazilian heat. Fans were chanting Jafaar's name as he gave them polite smiles and waves before he turned to you and extended his hand. Yours slid into his, and you swung a leg out, then the other.

And the moment you fully stood, the screams grew even louder, cutting through the azure sky; you were certain some lost their voices. With your arm looped with Jafaar's, you beamed grins at the crowd as you both walked the carpet. At the photocall, he snaked his arm around your waist, stepping closer to you.

You could barely hear your own thoughts from how loud and deafening the fans were screechings were, mingled with the paparazzi calling you from all directions for a simple glance. The flashes hurt your eyes, but they remained open, unfazed and used to the exercise. And somehow, that fueled you. Behind there, with Jafaar, in front of all these people, knowing what was about to go down, amused you. Perhaps it was a little sadistic. Perhaps it was a little vain. But you were not about to be the sad ex-girlfriend.

Jafaar readjusted his position next to you, and you moved closer to fix his dress jacket's neckline, your knuckles grazing the skin of his bare chest underneath. This sent the fans into a frenzy, while he smiled at you, grateful. You could tell he was uncomfortable. Not from the stunt you were both pulling, but simply for being on a red carpet.

You leaned closer to his ear. "You really don't know how to pose, do you?"

Jafaar's shoulders shook as he chuckled, his eyes sparkling.

"No, I don't," he admitted.

And it was the very reason he was grateful you had voice to idea to attend together, for with a partner, he finally knew what to do with his hands. One in his pocket, and the other around you. Classic, but perfect.

Your arm hooked with his again when an usher came to lead you toward the venue. But you knew the cameras were still on you. Jafaar helped you down the stairs onto the beach, and you both disappeared behind the line of security.

And you knew the reaction this all would garner. You knew that he was watching. Maybe not now. Perhaps in a few hours. Or the next morning. But you knew.

He was watching.

•☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•••☆•

Taglist: @smoothcriminalgf @hitwn @watamotee33 @ynniksslirg @soobieewoobiee @moonlightx14 @taronyuhunter @severewebpanther @random34674 @lalacorefray

“Peter was only giddy to dance with me," you toed off your shoes. “Because he’s nineteen—”

“Twenty,” Loki interjects, tone glacial. “I checked the records.”

“—fine, twenty. He idolizes everyone with an Avengers passcode. Our waltz lasted 90 seconds and ended with him apologizing for stepping on my feet.”

“Yet long enough for you to laugh,” Loki murmurs, green eyes darkening. Outside the window lightning flickers, though the forecast promised clear skies. You cross to him, letting your hand skim his shoulder until frost becomes warmth.

“One laugh, one spin, no hearts stolen. You, darling, occupy all available real estate here.” You tap your sternum.

Loki’s lips curl in a silken crescent, but the flicker behind his lashes is anything but serene. Emerald irises catch the lamplight, bright as storm-lit seawater, an omen you’ve learned to read the way sailors read cloud fronts.

“Loki, what did you do?”

He splays a hand across his chest in wounded theater. “Must you presume mischief every time I inhale?”

“Yes.”

A beat passes before his shoulders slump in an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. I may have redirected young Parker’s web-shooters.”

“Redirected how?”

“Up.”

“Loki!”

He waves a dismissive hand, as though you’ve merely noted the weather. “Midgardian gravity is pathetic. The boy dangled for what?Fifty two seconds before Rogers hauled him in. Perfectly safe.”

“And the glitter bomb that detonated on Clint an hour ago?” A flick of irritation crawls up Loki’s brow ridge. Caught, again.

“I was having a perfectly calm chat with him about Lucky adjusting to farm life when this puff of emerald smoke swallowed him whole. Next thing I know, he’s radioactive glitter pink from head to toe.”

A half smile adorns Loki’s mouth, wicked as a fox in the henhouse. “Yes. I refined the pigment with bifrost dust. Gives it that delightful day-glow sheen.”

“Which is now stuck permanently unto SHIELD-issue Kevlar.”

“An upgrade,” Loki counters. “Barton’s wardrobe needed flair.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “I left you alone for thirty minutes—”

“You left me alone with them.”

The soft snarl on “them” tells the truth. Loki never felt comfortable in the Avengers’ tower, tolerated largely because of you. Their wary stares scratch old wounds he pretends have healed. Tonight, seeing you laugh, actually laugh, with the people who once hunted him? Salt in the wound.

You exhale and join him on the couch, prying his booted feet off the cushions. “Talk.”

“Must we?” His gaze flicks to the ceiling, expression somewhere between tragic poet and sullen teenager. “You looked radiant. They ogled you like magpies. I grew irritated.”

“Jealous.”

He scoffs, but the word loosens him. “Yes. Jealous. There. I despise how it feels. Like being chained again, only the shackles are inside my ribs.”

Your annoyance softens. You catch Loki’s chin, turning his face until he meets your gaze. “If you need reassurance, ask. Don’t rig equipment or hex people. Use your words.”

His lips quirk. “I have many words. Most of them sharp.”

“Then learn soft ones.” You brush your thumb across his lower lip. “Tell me the truth instead of setting glitter‐traps and letting innocent people hang from the ceiling.”

A silence stretches, broken only by the faint hum of Manhattan traffic. Finally, Loki exhales the breath he has been hoarding for pride.

“Very well. The truth is I watched you toss your head back laughing at Clint's joke and it felt like frostbite. I wanted that sound to be kept for me alone. I imagined Parker’s mask cracking under illusion spiders. I pictured Stark’s suit misfiring champagne across his face. I thought of a dozen vicious things, all because you smiled at them.”

His jealousy is a thunderstorm. Beautiful from afar yet dangerous when you’re underneath. However, storms can also be guided.

“You’re allowed to want but I’m also allowed to have friends. The line is harm, Loki. Pranks that bruise bodies or egos cross it.”

He leans in, voice low. “I will try. But understand, my nature is not serenity. It is wind and wildfire. I can shape it for you, but extinguish it? Never.”

You press a kiss to his forehead, just where the crown would sit if he still wore one. “I don’t want it extinguished. Just channeled.”

His shoulders relax, mischief dimming to ember. “Then give me a target suitable for such channeling.”

“I have one. The dishwasher’s broken again.” You gesture toward the kitchen. “If you must hex something, hex the water jets. Make them behave.”

It earns you a surprised laugh, warm and genuine. “Very well, my love. I will wage war upon domestic inconveniences.” Loki rises, cloak swirling into existence with theatrical flare. “But first—”

He snaps his fingers. A soft pop sounds behind you. You turn to see a potted hydrangea now placed in the middle of the coffee table. Petals the deepest green. The exact shade of his eyes.

“Soft words,” he murmurs, stepping close enough that his breath fans your ear. “And softer deeds.”

“Keep practicing, Mischief Prince. I’m a patient teacher.”

“Aw, it still has a sense of humor.” Loki said. 

“Bite me, asshole.”

Loki smiled, “Only if you ask nicely.”

“Enough you two,” Thor cut in, his voice deep and demanding. “Loki, have you seen mother?”

“A meeting, I believe.”

Two sets of heavy gold doors suddenly opened. “I’m here.”

As Thor launched into a long winded explanation of what had happened, Frigga turned her full attention onto you. 

Between the heat of your body, despite the fact you felt like you’d been shoved under a constant freezing shower, and the pain beginning to grow in your bones, you could barely register the feeling of her hand on your forehead. 

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice gentle. “You’re going to be alright here. Our Doctors are some of the best.”

The smile on her face reminded you of Loki, though it was more warming to your soul than twisting to your stomach. 

“It’s a good job you brought her when you did.”

“Are you sure?” Loki asked, loud enough for you to hear. 

With a groan, you looked at Frigga. “Your son’s an asshole.”

Frigga, in the same way you’d seen Thor do, tried her best to hide her smile. “Ignore him, dear. He’s just being a pest because he’s not the centre of attention.”

“Hey!”

Through the pain, you managed to crack a smile. “Ha, I knew I’d like you.” Then, you managed to look at Loki as he stood on the other side of the bed. “I like your mom.”

Loki hummed, though it was all in good humor. “Well, she has her favourites.”

You managed to smile, but it quickly turned as a large pain shot throughout your body. 

“Mother, there must be something you can do.” Thor was standing somewhere by your feet, not that you could make him out through the tears in your eyes. 

Frigga nodded, determined. “There is. But I’ll need the room. And time.”

“How much time?”

Frigga looked at her sons. “I’ll come and get you when I’m finished. Oh, and boys? Ready the blue room. It’ll be calming for her once she’s in recovery.”

Loki and Thor nodded before taking their leave and Frigga began giving her orders to the staff, as they brought herbs and liquids. 

“Now, dear, I can’t promise this will be pleasant but I can promise you, it will work.”

Still shaking, you nodded. “What…whatever you need to do.”

“Brave girl.”

You passed out from the pain after fifteen minutes of her beginning her cure. 

“Will she be alright?” Loki asked his brother as they watched staff prepare the Blue Room. 

Thor didn’t know what to say. “Mother will take care of her. Since when do you care for her wellbeing?”

Loki shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t, but I don’t like the idea of her dying, either.”

“I need to go.”

“What?”

Loki tracked his brother’s movements as he travelled down the hall, past the next bedroom which Loki just happened to be staying in, and towards the exit. 

“Thor-”

“I need to find out where she’s been in the last week. I need to know where she contracted this infection.”

“You can’t just leave her here.”

Thor smiled as he turned and looked at his brother. “Sure I can. She’s got you.”

“Wha- no. Thor, no.”

“Yes.” Thor said. “You said it yourself, you care for her wellbeing.”

“No,” Loki corrected. “I said I don’t like the idea of her dying.”

Thor shrugged. “Same thing. Take care of her, brother.”

Loki shouted after him, but he was already flying towards the rainbow bridge. 

“Shit.”

“My Prince?”

Loki turned quickly on his heels to see a familiar member of staff. 

“Your mother is asking for you.”

Five minutes later, passing the golden hallways and the newly finished bedroom, Loki was entering through the heavy golden doors. 

“How is she?”

“Sleeping,” Frigga told her son. 

The final cohort of the nurses had passed him in the hallway just as he entered. Now, it was just himself, his mother and you. 

Loki let his fingers trail beside you on your bed before, without thinking, he reached out as gently brushed the hair away from your forehead. 

“She’ll be okay,” Frigga said, a warm smile on her face, as she approached the table. “She’s a strong woman.”

“Strong willed, strong-headed.”

Frigga nodded. “All the best of us are.”

Loki smiled, looking towards his mother, before looking back at you. 

Laying on the golden top table, you still looked as drained as when he first saw you. But, you were no longer in pain. Your breathing was steady and even, as was your heart rate. 

You’d be okay. 

But it would be a process for your body to recover from. 

“She’s going to need a friend,” Frigga mentioned, seeing the way Loki looked at you. “When she wakes.”

A wall came up inside of him as he stepped away and let you go. 

“I-I’m not really a friend.”

“Perhaps not before,” Frigga hummed. “But she’ll still be in need of a familiar face.”

There was a pained expression on his face as he looked to his mother, before his gaze landed back on your sleeping one. 

“Hopefully…hopefully Thor will find his answers soon. Then he can be her familiar face.”

You remained asleep for five days. 

And in those five days, as different maids and nurses came to check on you, and change you, it became a rare occurrence to not see Loki by your bedside. 

“What are you doing here?”

Loki looked up from his book to see you, finally, awake. Upon closing his book, he smiled. 

“I live here.”

You scowled, trying to move. “Were you watching me sleep?”

He held up his book. “It’s pretty interesting. The female lead pretends to hate the male lead, but she’s actually in love with him.”

You barked a laugh.

“How are you feeling?”

Settling against the pillows, you sighed. “Aching. Sore. A little dizzy.”

Loki nodded. “That’s all normal.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Five days.”

“Did you find out what it was?”

Loki nodded. “Thor’s currently trying to find its origin in case anyone else contracted it. To us, it’s like a common cold. But, to mortals…”

“It sends us to our death bed.”

“Pretty much.”

You let out a puff of air. “Bet you were praying for it to work on me.”

Loki nodded. “Oh, certainly. I’d at least get a floor to myself in your so-called Tower.”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh, please. You could just share with Thor.”

“I already have done that for the last thousand years. I don’t need another thousand of it.”

Again, you chuckled. And so did Loki. But you couldn’t lie and think about what it meant since it wasn’t long before his mother, Frigga, and some of her ladies-maids waltzed in and kicked Loki out. 

With a small bow, he closed both doors as he made his exit. 

Going through similar questions with Frigga, she helped you bathe and get dressed into Asgardian robes which had you questioning the quality of your own clothes at home. 

“I don’t think I’ve thanked you yet,” you said, turning to face Frigga properly. 

“No need, dear.”

You nodded. “But I do. You saved my life, so…without knowing how I can repay you…thank you. For everything.”

Frigga smiled a warm and gentle smile as she took your hands in hers. “You are welcome, my dear. But you needn’t worry. And, although I have to admit, it’s not the way I thought we would have met, I am glad to finally be meeting you.”

“You are?”

“Loki has mentioned your name a few times. Still does, especially when he talks of his time on your Earth.”

“He has?”

Frigga nodded. “Oh, yes.”

You chuckled a little, watching as she let your hands go and crossed the room towards the shelves. 

What followed turned out to be the three weirdest weeks of your life. 

You began to learn about Asgard and their people, about Frigga and how she became Queen of Asgard. You began to hear stories of when Thor and Loki were just kids. 

And, perhaps the oddest thing of all, you saw Loki. 

And not just physically. 

You began to see him. 

Was he still an asshole? Yes. You figured he always would be. He wouldn’t be a Trickster without being a little bit of an asshole. 

But you saw how he treated the people around him. And how he treated his mother. You saw how he acted when he was alone, thinking no-one was watching him. 

There was something calming about him. 

For a while, you stood in the doorway of his room which was right next door to yours. He was no longer in his full royal attire but rather trousers and a shirt. 

Having discarded his black tie over the back of one of the chairs, he was walking back and forth between his desk and the floor to ceiling bookcase. 

Most of the time, his nose was buried in at least one book. Though, you had seen him read two at the same time, flipping between the chapters as he made notes in a completely different book. 

“I didn’t think you’d be like this.”

Loki almost tripped over himself as he turned and looked towards his door to see you. “Y/n.”

Slowly, you walked inside. “I thought you might have been sleeping in a cave, upside down like a bat. And only ever coming out to, I don’t know, pull dark pranks on people you wanted revenge on.”

“I still do, but I tend to leave that for the winter.”

You cracked a smile, rounding his desk, feeling his eyes trace every single movement you made. But at no point did he try to stop you from snooping. 

“Instead, you’re…a librarian, an entertainer, and a mediator. When you want to be.”

“I find it more entertaining harbouring peace in my home, these days, than I used to.”

“It’s a good look on you.”

Loki cocked his head a little, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “Was that a compliment?”

“I’ll deny it if anyone asks me.”

He chuckled, his laugh a little more breathy. “Of course. Anything I can help with?”

“It’s more what could I help you with,” you pointed out. “I’ve been watching you for the last ten minutes-”

“Now who’s the stalker?”

“And you seem to have your hands full.”

Loki studied you for a moment. “Recovery is getting to you, isn’t it?”

“I’ve never been more bored.”

Loki laughed, walking forward and dropping the book he’d been holding onto his desk. “Well, in that case, welcome. I’m sure you’ll be running back to the bi-frost in no time.”

Surprisingly, you didn’t. Instead, it became a highly entertaining evening as you helped Loki sort through his books as he hunted through each of them for information that might help Thor in his search for the origin of your infection. 

However, as the moon began to creep into the sky, a long needed tiredness began to take over. And, just as the moon passed its highest point in the sky, you fell asleep on Loki’s bedroom desk. 

The moment he noticed, Loki quietly shut his book and tidied up a little before laying a gentle hand on your shoulder. When you didn’t wake, he chuckled and leaned down. 

In two delicate movements, Loki lifted you in his arms and began to carry you back towards your bedroom. According to his mother, your recovery was still on-going, so falling asleep at a desk wouldn’t exactly help speed up that time. 

“Shush,” Loki whispered quietly to you as he laid you down in your bed and you woke for a brief moment. “It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

You hummed in your sleep before turning onto your side. 

For a moment, he took a mental image of you. Often, when he visited your planet, you seemed…worn. Tired. Exhausted from the fights you had to carry out in order to save the people around you, as well as make it home safe. And, often, there was also a scowl on your face when it came to looking at him. 

But, over the last three weeks, that scowl had slowly transitioned into a light smile that you couldn’t hide, even if you tried. There were still times you scowled at him, but it wasn’t as deep-seated as the others had been. 

Reaching out, Loki pushed the fallen hair away from your face and back against your pillow. Finally, covering your sleeping frame with the blankets, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to your temple. 

“Sweet dreams, Y/n.”

And you did. Except, what you woke up to wasn’t as sweet. 

“Well, how long has she been here?! She’s no more use than that last mortal idiot who-”

“She’s not an idiot, and her name is Y/n!”

Loki’s voice had echoed throughout the hallways so much that everything that made a noise in the silence following his exclamation was almost deafening. 

“Dear, she was sick and she is still in need of recovery,” Frigga’s voice carried towards your room, followed by footsteps. 

“Really? How quickly did she pass out when you started to heal her? Ten, twenty seconds?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

The footsteps came to a halt. And the hallways became deadly silent. Even the soft ruffling of your bed covers felt loud in your ear drums. 

The trio began talking again, however quieter. And barely thirty seconds later, with Loki’s voice carrying a plea of, “Father-”, the doors to your room opened without a single knock. 

Yet, all three stared at the empty but made bed before their eyes turned around the room and landed on you. 

“Odin, I presume?" 

“Ms Y/n?”

You nodded, watching as Frigga reached out and held onto her son’s wrist whilst Odin began walking towards you. 

“My wife tells me you lasted fifteen minutes before you passed out from the pain of her cure. I have to say, even I haven’t lasted that long under the duress of pain.”

You shrugged. “Women have been known to have a higher pain tolerance.”

Odin laughed, turning to look at his wife. “She’s smart.”

Frigga smiled. “Told you I liked her.”

Odin turned back to you once more. “My son also tells me you work with my other son, back on your home planet.”

You nodded. “I do. Well- I try. Both of your sons seem to have a mind of their own, most of the time.”

You were glad to catch a glimpse of Loki’s smile. It warmed something inside of you. 

“I see,” Odin said as he studied you. “Well, stay for as long as you need. My son has spoken highly of you, but he has also told me you're rather…bored. Perhaps I can find some use for you here. At least until you return home.”

You smiled, “Happy to help where I can.”

Odin nodded before finally bidding you good-day and going about his business for the day. 

“So that’s Odin.”

Loki nodded. “That’s Odin.”

A little over a week later, when you thought all the weird was gone, a shock came to your system. 

For the last month, whilst you’d been recovering on Asgard, yourself and Loki had come to an…unspoken deal. That, for the sake of those around, you would both keep the verbal jousting to a minimum. 

What you hadn’t calculated, however, was that it left an open space for you to begin to see Loki. And it gave him space to see you. 

And, somewhere within four weeks and that space that just kept seemingly growing, you and Loki had become friends. Of sorts. 

Late nights, you worked together. He at his desk, you at yours. But, somewhere between supper and midnight, you’d migrate together. 

As you sat criss-crossed on the sofa, Loki sat on the floor beside you. When you needed a script, he’d hand it over to you, and you’d find the information he was in need of, from the book that laid open on your lap. 

Some mornings you’d wake in your bed, despite knowing you’d definitely fallen asleep on the sofa. Other mornings, you’d still be asleep, but Loki would be on the floor beside you, your hands barely an inch from each other. 

Most days, you talked to each other. He explained a few things about Asgard before telling you stories he’d never told anyone. Not because they were a secret, but simply because he’d never felt the need or the want to before. 

Teasing you over your Mid-gardian style, Loki would lay in wait for you to eventually tell him stories of your own childhood, or of working with the Avengers. 

And when you did, he saw you light up in a way that had been rare before Thor had brought you home. 

To his home. 

But, now, you are leaving. 

“He loves you dearly, my child.” 

You jumped a little at the voice that came from behind you. For the last two minutes, you’d been watching Loki in – surprisingly – a little pain. The thought of leaving him was…you didn’t fully know what. 

What you did know was that part of you wanted to stay. 

And a small part of that was down to him. 

Turning, you smiled at Frigga. Her warming and loving smile was something you’d definitely miss. 

“Frigga.”

“He does,” she told you as she took your hands in her own. “More than you may ever know. More than he may ever know.”

Looking down the grand hallway, you watched as one of the servant's children ran towards Loki, showing him a picture he’d drawn of the palace. 

Loki often pretended to have no feeling towards his people. But you saw the look in his eyes when he spoke of them and you could guarantee, one hundred percent, that when you opened up the draw inside his desk, you’d find that exact picture along with two dozen others they’d drawn for him. 

“We’re just…”

“Friends?” Frigga asked. “Well, it was more than you were before you arrived here. I am going to miss you, terribly, my dear. It was nice to have another woman around this place.”

“You know, I don’t know how often you can visit other places but…if you’re ever in New York…”

“That sounds wonderful, my dear.” Frigga pulled you into a motherly hug. “I might just do that.”

You smiled at her, hugging her back. 

However, what you failed to notice as you did so, was Loki turning around in the hallway and stopping just short of his office. The image of you and his mother talking and smiling and enjoying each other’s company would be a memory he’d cherish forever. 

He disappeared into his office before you could spot him, but the moment he left, you felt his absence. 

“Ready?” Hemindal asked you as you stood beside him. 

You’d said your goodbyes at the palace. Frigga had hugged you tight, Odin had bowed his head and Loki had stood there. 

Neither of you had been able to move, but you simply smiled and said goodbye. 

However, standing beside Hemindal, something small started to grow in the pit of your stomach and your arms ached for…

For Loki. 

“Wait! Y/n!”

Turning around, you spotted the Trickster running towards you. 

“Just- just give me a minute?”

Hemindal stepped back, a smile on his face. “Take your time, my lady.”

Your voice was quiet as you stepped away with a, “Thank you”, before rushing towards Loki. 

“What are you-”

Almost as if he’d read your mind, you were suddenly pulled tight against Loki before you managed to wrap your arms over his broad shoulders. 

“I don’t want this to be goodbye.”

You smiled into him. “If you make it back to Earth, this is just ‘see you later’.”

He nodded, setting you back down on your feet but continuing to hold you in his arms. “I mean it. This isn’t goodbye.”

You glared, a little playfully. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

He chuckled. “Both.”

“Good.” 

As Loki’s gaze bore into yours, he smiled a little more. “I’m glad we’re friends now.”

“So am I.”

But I wish we could be more, said a quiet voice in the back of your head. You hadn’t been expecting it, but it wasn’t a thought you wanted to disappear too quickly. 

“Don’t be a stranger,” you told him once you made it back to Hemindal. 

“I promise,” Loki smiled as he waved you off. 

Then you were back home. Back to work. Back to reality and Earth. Constantly thinking about the last person you thought would ever be on your mind. 

“Hello? Earth to Y/n,” Bruce said, shaking his hand in front of your face to grab your attention. 

“Yeah? Sorry.”

“Are you alright?” Bruce asked, a breathy chuckle leaving him. “You’ve been kinda distracted lately.”

You nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Just…in my own head, I guess. I’ll focus more, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged it off. “Don’t worry about it. What’s going on? Is this, like, a side effect of the Asgardian Flu?”

You shook your head, a tired smile on your face. “No, just me. I’ll try and focus more.”

Bruce just shook his head as if to say Don’t worry about it, but he kept his eye on you. 

You continued to work at the same pace you always did, but it was almost like your body was on auto-pilot. You were doing calculations to the fabric of the universe whilst physically building something from the opposite side of science. 

“She’s not ill, is she?” Kate asked. 

Joaquin shook his head. “No. Asgardian’s fixed that problem.”

“Could she be constipated?”

The pair turned and looked at Scott who had just appeared. 

“What? She looks pensive.”

“Who are we stalking?” Thor asked, scaring the trio practically shitless. “Sorry.”

Kate hitched a thumb over her shoulder towards you in your lab. “Y/n. She’s quiet. And we’re trying to figure out why.”

Thor, as he crouched with the three of them, looked towards you. “Oh, she’s in love.”

Then he walked away. 

“What?!” Kate and Joaquin shouted as they looked at each other before racing after Thor. 

“What do you mean?” Scott asked, catching up to them. 

“She’s in love,” he repeated, as if it didn’t just shatter their view of you. 

“With who?”

“My brother. Ah, there’s the kitchen.”

The trio looked between each other before racing after Thor once again. Finally pushing their way into the kitchen, they found Thor opening a box of pop-tarts. 

“As in…Loki?”

Thor laughed. “Who else?”

“But they hate each other.”

“And,” Thor began. “I left them alone for a month. Together. I believe it’s called Forced Proximity. At least, that’s what Darcy told me it’s called. Apparently it’s in her new favourite book.”

“You…you used a romance book as…as a manual?”

Thor thought on it for a moment as he chewed on his poptart. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“And we’re sure it’s Loki?” Joaquin asked. 

Thor nodded. “Of course. But, he’s been in love with her for a lot longer so I guess he’s had time to deal with it.”

“WHAT?!”

Thor nodded. “Yeah, like, what? Three years?”

“Three- Oh, my god.” 

“Whoa,” Kate said, catching Scott with Joaquin’s help. 

“I think I need to sit down.”

“Yeah,” Joaquin agreed. “You and us both.”

“What do you mean he’s been in love with her for three years? They’ve done nothing but fight for three years.” Kate pointed out. 

Thor shrugged. “Loki is a trickster. He knows how to keep people from seeing the truth. You’ll spot the signs eventually, it just takes a couple hundred years. Give or take.”

“Give or ta-” Scott ran a hand down his face. “Do you have orange slices? I feel like I’ve just shrunk from being big, again.”

Kate nodded and ran towards the fridge to grab them. 

“Thor, how much do you know about your brother’s feelings towards Y/n?”

What followed was a three hour story of how Thor came to realise Loki was in love with you, and how he’d hidden it all this time. 

The biggest give away was the fact you were the one repeated name in his stories when he spoke to his mother. 

And, despite the annoyed tone, both Thor and his mother could hear the admiration behind his voice. 

Then came the day Loki himself realised he was in love with you. It came six months after meeting you. He’d been helping Thor and the rest of the team with a Hydra…thing when Sam had pulled, in your words, “The most reckless and stupidest move ever known to the history of man.”. 

Wilson had nearly gotten himself killed and you chewed him out on it. And when the others tried to step in to calm you, you chewed them out too. 

However, when Loki held out his hands and stepped forward, you’d turned before he could even fully plant his foot on the ground. 

“Hey!” 

Your finger pointing at him, your eyes remained on his. Your breathing was heavy and your eye contact felt deeper than ever. But…you didn’t chew him out. You didn’t shout or yell at him. 

You just stared. Like a silent conversation was taking place. 

You never said a word until you turned back to the others, yelling at them to “Never do that again!”. 

As you took your leave from the hallway, Loki remained in shock as his eyes trailed after you. Part of Loki wanted you to have yelled at him. He got a kick out of your verbal spars with him. But there was something deeper about him wanting to talk to you at the moment. There was something deeper about why he wanted to follow you down the hall and make sure you were okay. 

But, he didn’t. 

Instead, when he returned home, he paced around the palace for three days before returning back to earth where he was told he’d be sharing a floor with you since he wasn’t there often and it was the only other floor that held a spare, but separate, room. 

Then he paced for another three days until he’d finally accepted his conclusion. 

After that, he became more simple than he thought. 

“Holy shit.”

“I know.”

“I can’t believe we’re Avengers.” Scott announced. 

They all turned to look at him. 

“We’re meant to know, like, everything. And we can’t even see when one of us has feelings for someone?”

“We’re…” Joaquin was lacking in excuses. “Avengers. Not Detectives.”

“Good one,” Kate whispered quietly. 

Joaquin held out his fist and Kate bumped her own against it. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, how did we miss this?” Scott asked. 

As the days began to turn into weeks, more and more Avengers joined the trio in watching your movements. 

You were still on auto-pilot when you worked, but when you were just sitting still, all you could do was think. They tried talking to you, but no reply would come. Not that they blamed you. 

Finding out you're in love with the last person you ever thought you’d even catch feelings for, took a lot of time to sink in. 

They could practically hear the cogs turning in your head. 

“Should we help her?”

Scott shook his head, eating from the bowl of popcorn. “No. Hope says she’s got to figure it out for herself. That way she knows it’s real.”

“But she’s been like this for almost a month. I don’t like it,” Joaquin said before pouring some of his m&ms into Kate’s hand. 

“I don’t like it either,” Kate whispered. “But Scott’s right- well, Hope. We can’t interfere.”

An idea struck him. “What if we don’t?”

Scott stared at him for a while. “Nope, you’ve lost me.”

“We don’t have to interfere,” Joaquin said. “But we know someone who could.”

Kate clicked her tongue. “Sam and Bucky both agreed with Hope-”

“Not them. Though, that does surprise me that they don’t want to meddle. No. I was thinking of someone a little more…God-like.”

It took four days of planning but the trio finally had an idea sorted out. 

And the minute Kate saw the flash of light outside her room, she ran directly down the hall, banged on Joaquin’s door before throwing herself inside. 

“Look outside.”

Shoving him closer to the window, she pointed. “See him?”

Joaquin smiled. “I see him.”

The moment Loki stared up at the Avengers building, he wiped his hand nervously on his legs. He hadn’t seen you in just over two months, and yet you hadn’t left his thoughts once. 

He’d been dealing with the same thing for close to four years, but not once in those four years had either of you been friends. Not once in those four years could he have held out hope that you might be happy to see him. 

But after your stay on Asgard…he wasn’t so certain that stuffing the hope away was the right thing to do. 

You told him not to be a stranger, hadn’t you? And that you were glad he was your friend? 

Or had that all been a dream? 

“Brother!” 

The greeting was the same as always. Care, if a little caution. But, all in all, the evening was fun. Games were played, stories were told. 

But Loki couldn’t help but notice someone was missing. 

You. 

“Looking for someone in particular, Loki?”

Loki turned, forcing a laugh into his drink. “I have no idea what you mean, brother.”

Thor nodded with a knowing smile before leaning a little closer. “She has a new lab on the third floor. We’ve all tried to get her to leave it. Perhaps you might have a little more luck?”

As Thor picked up a bottle of tequila and walked away, Loki took all of thirty seconds to decide to go in search of you. 

And it wasn’t long until he found you. 

Just like Thor had told him, you had a new lab on the third floor. In fact, it made up the entirety of the third floor. 

“The way I hear it, you’re missing one hell of a party.”

You yelped a little, dropping the spanner from your hand into the tray table in front of you. 

Turning, you found Loki leaning against one of the storage units, fiddling with one of the broken web shooters Peter had asked you to take a look at. 

“Loki,” your voice came out with a smile on your face. “You’re here.”

Smiling at you, Loki placed the web shooter back before strolling closer to you. For a moment, you tried to keep yourself busy. 

Holding onto your spanner once more, you started to work on your current project. You needed to do something that kept your hands from shaking in his presence. 

“I missed you upstairs.”

You nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I, uh, I guess I just lost track of time.”

“Anything I can help you with?”

A smile appeared on your face again as you looked towards his own. “Uh, no. No, I don’t think so. But thank you.”

Loki simply nodded and took a small step back from your working table. 

“Are you alright?” He asked as he took a turn around your lab. 

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Loki turned slowly on his heel and looked at you with an intrigued expression. You had answered his question way too quickly. Even by your standards. 

“Well, I know that’s a lie.”

“It’s not a lie.” 

You lied again. He knew you had. You knew he knew you had. 

Shit. 

You sighed, “It’s not something you can help with.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded. “I wish you could. Believe me, it’s taken me months and I still haven’t…”

Your eyes locked with his from across your lab as your sentence died away. 

Maybe you were right. Maybe he is the last person, but he’s also the first…

“Figured it out,” you eventually managed to finish, although slightly breathless. 

There was an edge to Loki’s smirk as he looked at you with a small courteous nod. “Well,” he said. “Here’s to hoping you figure it out soon.”

“Yeah.” 

“So…” Loki continued, “How have you been?”

You back to him, a little relieved he’d fallen back into ‘Asgard’ territory. At least, that’s what you’d been calling it in your head. 

Most normal people would probably just call it being civil and talking. 

“Well, whatever your mom’s magic did, it seemed to cure pretty much everything inside of me.”

“Including your ‘cold, dead heart’?”

You chuckled. “Ooh, no. Sorry. I’m afraid nothing can cure that.”

Loki laughed, and so did you. But in the silence of it all you started to realise that maybe, just maybe, that ‘cold, dead heart’ you’d once spoken of, was thawed and beginning to warm. 

Especially towards Loki. 

“How is your mother?”

“She’s well. She asks about you often. I believe she wishes to visit you soon.”

The normal side of talking continued for…you didn’t know how long. But it was long enough for Kate to get drunk on Asgardian liquor and come running to find you. 

“How long do you think she’s gonna be hungover for?” 

When Kate had come down to your lab, blabbing about…something (most of her words were slurred. The most you could make out was “I love you guys, so much,”) yourself and Loki had carried her to bed. 

“Asgardian liquor can have different effects depending on the mortal. How is she with normal liquor?”

You shrugged. “Depends on the type and the quantity. I banned her from tequila when she cried for three hours and then proceeded to send pinterest pictures of cute animals to her ex.”

Loki couldn’t help but chuckle. Both at the information, and the way you reported it. Almost like it was an announcement on the evening news. 

“I’ll stick around for a few days. Thor’s been given an assignment and I’ve suffered through enough of those hangovers to know the better cures.”

You smiled, “Thank you.”

But it was only as he was bidding you goodnight after walking you to your room – despite it being in the same hallway as his own – that you realised what that meant. 

Loki was staying. 

With you. 

In the tower. 

For more time than usual. 

On a normal day, before Asgard, you would have ignored him to the best of your ability. But now he was your friend. And…and the person you wanted more with. 

You managed to survive three days, which is more than you could say for Kate who had been dealing with the world’s worst hangover, quite literally. 

“Here, drink up.”

Loki placed a tall glass of something blue in front of her. 

“What is it?” Kate couldn’t even open her eyes as she looked up. 

The minute she sniffed it, she gagged. 

“Oh, my god,” she drew out. “What the hell is that?”

“Probably best you don’t ask questions.”

With a grimace, she looked at Loki before looking at you. You could only nod and look at Loki. He looked like he was going through it with Kate. 

“Here goes nothing.”

It took Kate all of an hour to finish the drink without throwing up. 

“I’ll make you another one in three hours.”

As Kate made a wretching noise, you led her back to her room which smelled a little less of alcohol stained clothes. 

“That was totally disgusting.”

“Just lay down and try to get some sleep. I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready.”

Kate shook her head. “I can’t eat. Not after that drink. Just…wake me up when the next century hits.”

Chuckling lightly, you covered her up and closed the blinds until her room was encased in darkness. 

It took you ten minutes to get out of her room without bruising yourself…again. 

“Sleeping?” Loki asked as he met you in the hallway. 

You nodded. “For now. She says to wake her up next century.”

“Noted.” Loki nodded along. “I’ve made some tea, if you’d care for a cup?”

With a tired sigh, you followed him back to the kitchen. “Love one.”

“Solve your problem yet?” 

Laying the steaming cup down, you shook your head. “Not yet. But I’m close. I think.”

The edge that had taken over his smirk three days ago suddenly reappeared. “Let me know when you do. I figure whatever it is, will have an interesting conclusion.”

“Maybe,” you agreed. But you weren’t fully convinced. 

After all, how could the last person on any planet be the first person you’d thought of in a romantic futuristic sense. Sure, there had been past relationships and dreams but, when it came to Loki, it all felt more real somehow. 

Like, if you said them outloud, they would come true. 

And you didn’t know if that scared you shitless, or intrigued you to the point of excitement.

But it all came to a head one night just a little after two in the morning. 

You’d fallen asleep just a few hours before, comfortable in bed, only to wake in a cold sweat and someone calling your name softly. 

“Loki?”

“Yeah,” his voice was softer than usual. “It’s me.” 

He whispered in the darkness of your room, his hands reaching out to hold you.

It was the first time you’d felt comforted. Though, with a mother like Frigga, you shouldn’t have been surprised. 

“I-I couldn’t-”

Loki nodded. “I know. It’s okay. You’re safe. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“It felt so real.”

Smoothing down your hair, Loki mumbled light words into your temple before pressing a kiss in the same spot. 

“It’s okay, you’re safe.”

A small gasp left you. “Did I wake you- Loki, I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head. “No. No, Jarvis alerted me. And I’m glad he did. Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head, still a little out of it. “Can you stay?”

“Of course.”

In the comfort of darkness, you let Loki wrap himself around you like a protection barrier from the nightmares you’d just suffered through. 

Laying in between his legs and on his chest, his palm settled over your head. “Rest now, my love. You can rest now. You’re safe.”

Only when he was certain you’d drifted off did he add, “I love you.”

Waking in the morning, you found your position barely changed. Loki’s arms were still around you, only you lay facing each other. Beneath the new addition of a green blanket, no doubt conjured up by the Trickster God himself, your legs tangled and wrapped around his own as if he was your own personal anchor to the real world. 

When he finally woke, you both just laid there. Neither one of you moved, nor did you say a word. 

The longer the heavy silence carried out, however, you came to a conclusion. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” you admitted, a little confused by yourself. 

“Is that your conclusion to your problem?” A small smile toyed on Loki’s lips as he spoke. 

“I think so. I just…I don’t know for certain.”

“What’s holding you back?”

“Our beginning. I mean, we hated each other, didn’t we?”

A breathy, quiet laugh left Loki. “I never hated you. I never could. And, for whatever you may be thinking, I don’t think you hated me either.”

“How could you know that?”

“Because you’re not capable of it.” Loki’s gaze softened as he looked at you. “You used to laugh over having a ‘cold, dead heart’, but you never saw how bright it shined. You care deeply, especially about the people you love. You also have an understanding of people. I’ve seen that with my own eyes. But it’s not in you to carry hatred in your heart.”

Taking in your expression, Loki continued. 

“I see you, Y/n. Even when you think no-one’s looking.”

He didn’t know it (or maybe he did), but he just hit you like a freight train. And the hits just kept on coming. 

His smile was soft. Genuine. “I’ve waited a thousand years to even have the chance to meet someone like you, Y/n. You can take your time to figure us out. I’ll wait forever for you, if you’ll let me.”

I love you enough to leave, if that’s what you want me to do. But please don’t. 

Unsure of what to say, you did the only thing you could think of. You reached out for him. Though you didn’t have to reach far. 

Still tangled with him, you softly laid your palm on his cheek and watched as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment and he leaned into your touch. 

Almost as if it was second nature to him, Loki laid his own hand over yours as he turned his head. He pressed a long kiss to your palm before opening his eyes once again. 

He was slow to hold you and remove it from his face, though at no point did he drop it. Instead, he held it in both of his hands before his fingers traced each line of your hand as if imagining the parts of your life he hadn’t seen. 

All the parts of your life that led you to him. To your (fateful) first meeting. To your stay on Asgard. To this very moment, lay in his arms, finally knowing some of what he’d been carrying for you for almost four years. 

Flushing his own palm against yours, you allowed your fingers to interconnect with his own.

Neither of you spoke. You didn’t have to. Enough was being said in the shared silence. 

It took two more weeks and a visit from Frigga for you to understand just how deeply the feelings you’d discovered you had for Loki ran. 

And, although you may never be able to fully comprehend how your life was destined to meet a God and have him be your First Person; especially when he was the last person you would have ever suspected it to be.

You knew one thing for absolutely certain, and that was that you loved him. And he loved you. Most likely, as Frigga said, more deeply than either of you knew. 

For Loki, you had been written in the stars for him. As for you?

For you, Loki had roots buried deep within your Life Line.