âYouâll be alright, no one can hurt you.â
Prompt request from this list for @4everinbluejeans ! This got pretty lengthy and also angsty, because I am evil.That said, thank you so much for the request, and also sorry! Now, please enjoy our favorite broody space couple.
Rey ducked into her quarters, quickly shutting and locking the door behind her. Sheâd nearly started talking to him right there in the hallway. âTheyâre going to figure it out,â Rey said, pacing around her quarters. âIâm not the only Force-sensitive person in the Resistance, you know?â
Heâd popped into her world again, connected to her through the Force even though they were far, far away from each other.
âI know.â He said, pulling his gloves off, setting them down on a surface she couldnât make out.
âMaybe they wonât punish me, but I donât think theyâd be thrilled to know that Iâve been speaking with the Supreme Leader of the First Order outside of their jurisdiction or guidance.â
He took a step closer to her. âYouâre worried theyâll reject you.â It wasnât a question - it was a statement.
She met his eye contact, unafraid to show him her fear. Rey never felt afraid when she talked to him; in fact, he was the only person with whom she could be completely honest. âYes. All Iâve ever wanted is to belong, to have a place⌠a family. I can have it here with these people if Iâm part of their cause.â
Kylo Ren took in what she was saying, this woman, this fierce presence. She was small, but she loomed large in his mind. âTheyâre not your only choice.â He paused. âI made you an offer. It still stands.â
She saw his left eye just barely twitch, the way it had right after theyâd defeated Snoke and his guards, the same as when sheâd defied him the first time heâd invaded her mind. He wasnât bluffing.
Her heart rate sped up and she felt a rush of blood to her cheeks. She wanted to say yes. Wanted what he was offering, what she could possibly have by his side. But there were so many things⌠little things, that couldnât be accounted for or explained away. Heâd killed people. A lot of people. A lot of important people to the Resistance. And while Rey understood and could look past it, she knew her leadership couldnât. She wouldnât want them to bend or break the rules for Ben just because she was, what? His partner? That wasnât how things worked.
âWhere?â she finally broke the silence. âWhere, Ben?â Her eyes began welling up with tears. âOn what planet? In what system?â This impasse was breaking her in ways she didnât know she could be broken. âWe donât want the same things.â
âYes,â he immediately responded in controlled defiance, âyes, we do.â
âEven so,â she conceded, sniffling. âI canât be what you think you want me to be, Ben. Maybe I want to be no one.â A tear escaped before she could blink it away. âMaybe Iâm okay with just being part of the Resistance, with not being chosen or special or whatever.â
She sounded so defensive, and it made him ache. âYou can try,â he said, tacit and short. âYou succeeded the first 19 years of your life. You looked and acted like anyone else. But you had to know you werenât like other children, as I did. I was aware of things that I couldnât explain, and Iâm certain you were, too.â He moved into her peripheral vision, not exactly circling her, but definitely asserting himself. âDid you push it down? Did you push it away because you were afraid that if your lousy parents ever came back, they wouldnât want you?â
She started crying in the unsettling way the brokenhearted do - no words, just a clenched upper lip and hot tears falling straight down her cheeks. âThat was a low blow, Ben.â Her words were strained.
He hated seeing her cry. But he also hated seeing her in denial.
âYou canât deny what you are. You canât deny the truth.â
He was back in front of her now. She looked up at him, wiping her tears with back of her hand. âI told the truth in the elevator with you. I saw you turn when we touched hands. You said you saw something different though, that you saw me turn.â A pause. âWe have different definitions of the truth, Kylo Ren.â
She called him by his chosen name. She hadnât called him Ben, the warm, delicate, returned prodigal way she usually did.
No, sheâd called him Kylo Ren, and in doing so, put a boundary between them.
He didnât know what to say, feeling his anger beginning to radiate out from the center of his chest. He didnât want to yell at her, didnât want to get angry, but he burned, and could not be quelched.
âBe with me, Rey,â he said, commanding, yet also pleading. âIf weâre together, youâll be alright. No one can hurt you. I wonât let them. No one will abandon you or leave you ever again, or doubt how strong you are.â
âI know,â she conceded, âbut itâs not that easy. I canât just come be with you. There are other people involved. We canât be selfish. I canât be selfish,â she quickly corrected herself. She narrowed her gaze at him, eyes locked with his.
âI cannot be with the Supreme Leader of the First Order.â She began to turn away from him.
He reached out to stop her, to grab hold of her arm, but by the time he did, she was already gone, faded from his sight.
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