iconoclast

I am at that point where I am not going to kill myself, but I wouldn’t mind dying.

I want to be better for you. I do. I know I’m absolutely pathetic, useless, and untalented, but somehow you still love me. I’m holding you back from moving on to better things. I wish I qualified as "better things" but I know I never will and there's no denying it.

I want to be happy so you won't worry about me. You deserve not to worry about a single thing. I'm sorry I can't give you what you deserve.

I think I should let you go. You don't deserve to inconvenienced with someone so pathetic in your life. Really, you'll thank me later.

I think it's past time I stop trying.

That's what I need to tell myself to avoid feeling silly. I think it's pathetic that I just can't be happy.

And man, do I feel that way now! I feel like no one actually wants me around, but they're keeping me out of pity or obligation. Maybe I should do them a favor by lift the burden that is me from their shoulders... they won't do it, so I'll do it for them.

I don't know why I'm not good enough..

I feel replaceable. I feel as if there's not a damned thing about me that's enough to make someone stay. Why stick by me when there's better options? I'm annoying. I'm a burden. I'm just a nuisance upon everyone, and they don't know it yet, but I don't want to be around when they do. I'm a waste of resources.

How is it that I'm surrounded by all these amazing people and I still feel so alone? How is it that I'm still so ungrateful for them?