formerly scouttf2isnamedafterjerma

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

even if you should never trust anyone, especially within the fighters guild, you can tell percius mercius is a genuinely decent guy because he's named percius mercius

lets get the circulating for the fourth of garbage

i hope i never get described as gormless. i couldn't ever fathom being without my gorm

In honor of “Free Use Two-Fifty,” President Donald Jhonald Trump is letting any and all citizens have sex with him in his fruity ass ballroom

Unfortunately due to an injury (a urethral blockage due to a plastic toy of Caine from The Amazing Digital Circus stuck up in there) I will be unable to join the festivities