elyy

❀ 𝒾 𝒶𝓂 𝒻𝒾𝒻𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓃

❀ 𝒾’𝓂 𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓁𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒾𝓇𝓁 𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 !!

❀ 𝒾 𝓁𝓊𝓋 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓋𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝓈𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒾 𝒿𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓁𝓇

i’m going to make my own website that’s going to have my own personal blog and a personal blog + games i would make myself !!

i’m really excited it’s a really sweet idea i have and i’ve been having for a while if you’re interested and when im done i 100% could share it

i’m so excited for this thing and will give updates

this is a rant about me missing me ex bf we genuinely were so good together but so toxic the arguments and manipulation and the mistrust my ex wanted to break up with me the day before we broke up bc i had called my guy friend to gossip about the girls at my school bc me n him only gossiped and my ex didn’t like that and didn’t trust me and made a whole scene about it and he made me feel terrible he blocked my number and he ignored me in real life for a whole hour and i cried to my bsf after school and that wasn’t the first time i cried about making mistakes with him in the school bathroom he had constantly made me feel like i was making mistakes and doing things wrong with our relationship i cried to my best friend so many times about how i keep messing up and how he keeps getting upset and how i don’t wanna do that he was always getting upset and made me feel so little i felt like a bunny begging for attention from him ofc id get the attention but not the one i wanted i wanted acknowledgement and j know he like listened and stuff and hes always said i disregard his feeling but he disregarded mine he never thought about how him doing that affected me and he never thought about me like he never really did and i’m crying rn bc i miss him i miss our toxic relationship i miss having someone to vent to and i just recently cut him off bc him staying in my life was too much for me i just wanna be back in his arms i miss when id pack up for classes and see his stupid face waiting for me i miss getting the hug and hand on my waist while i was packing up from a class i miss our late night arguing and i miss crying in front of him and i miss our flirting and i just miss him and the future we could’ve had and we broke up bc im toxic i hid my sadness and the things i was struggling with bc i was scared to add more to his plate bc i knew he was struggling and he said like i didn’t give him enough and i didn’t care about him but i listened to him talk about his past i never judged him i loved him unconditionally even when he did what he did with his best friend in the kitchen that one night i told my friends about it btw they told me im insane for still staying and how it was a giant red flag but i didn’t care bc i still loved him and i didn’t care what he did and he says i never even gave him enough and he gave me so much whenever we’d talk about my stuff it’s always ik ma im sorry but with me you’d talk my ear off and id give my condolences and then talk about how it wasn’t okay and make ur feelings feel valid it’s not fair how he can say that and ignore everything i did i almost failed classes for him i was so out of it after we broke up i couldn’t even focus on my favorite classes he says i didn’t even give him all my time when i would put off my school i would’ve given up school for him and school is such a crucial thing for my future he knows i value above most things he says i didn’t give him enough and i did i gave him all my time i dropped people for him i lost connections with my closest friends i have to build back up i literally gave him my everything and he didn’t see it as that i texted him and called him and didn’t talk about anything but him i was infatuated with him and he can say oh you didn’t care he was infatuated with my body and the way i stayed no matter what shitty shit he’d do he was obsessed with me but was he? he wouldn’t remember my bumblebee tights but i would remember his he brought up his favorite lego set and i haven’t forgotten the number of it bc he wanted it so bad 7784 it was that one and i can’t even remember my bumblebee tights but you get the point he doesn’t even realize how toxic he was popping pills while we were all calls all because of an argument does he even realize how crazy that is to do and put on my i was so terrified to argue with him or express how i felt bc i was scared he’d kill him self he actually told me he tried to often and idk if that’s like him just saying it for attention but i don’t think it was but like can you just imagine how i felt

i was so terrified he would off himself if i even said something to express my emotions so i would bottle them up and then take it out on my parents and i was going crazy with him im going crazy now like i can feel myself going crazy but that’s a story for a different day i hate my fucking ex but i love him so much if he came back and i was allowed to be with him oh how quick id run to him how quick id be to accept the offer of being with him i don’t really care how toxic he was and how he restricted me from being me i would jump in acid for him like harley quinn id be so infatuated with him that id jump in acid i basically did that irl but not with acid idk i just miss him i miss saying i love you i miss texting him i might text him fuck i cut him off and i can’t even go a couple days without texting him i need him back so bad he’s like a necessity for me but the cure by olivia rodrigo is kinda my situation with him like yeah lols uhm but my vent is over if he’s reading this text me please if he’s not idrc and i seem like an idiot