3hree Man Weave

I stole your heart and I gave you my lungs. That's why you can't be without me and I can't breathe when I'm without you. What does this accomplish except us being each other's accomplice in suicide. I want to tell you this but the words can't leave my mouth unless we're apart. You want to be close to me but can't love me because I stole your heart. I thought if I stole it you would ,but I guess that wasn't the right way to go about it. Now I can't go near you because I become silent. I lose all of my breath as you lose all respect. I should give it back since I took it without permission, but I took it so you'd pay me more attention. I was selfish because I wanted to relish a moment that never happened, and now we both lost something important and are saddened. I lost you and you lost a friend. I never wanted to be your friend. I wanted you yourself to put your beautiful heart in my hand.

I’m here to stay but no one knows 

If life is like a game of chess then I guess I’m a rookie. I mean, look how long it took me to let you go or even know how I felt. I kept the words to myself like a dictionary never touched on a shelf. I’m only alone because I choose to be, or maybe I’m alone because you didn’t choose me. If I move at the speed of light will I be able to leave my present and see my future? Maybe there I’m not such a loser. Should I try and see it from your perspective to understand why you’re being so selective? While you’ve already moved on, my feelings are still here far from being gone. No matter how many definitions of them I give, do they mean nothing to you? If you could read in between the lines in math you’d realize that you’re the only thing that I absolutely value. I can’t let you go I’m sorry. Is it my fault that you don’t call me? Did I come on too strong or am I still weak? What will it take to get you to come to me?

Don't look into my eyes. If you do you'll find that I continuously cry on the inside. Smile, stand tall ,and wave, just so I can get through the day. Where's the love in forever when I can't even get through the week. But I put on a face, all of my feelings erased, to make you think that I'm okay. I'm broken like the cracks of my lips. I've only held on this long because I'm longing to be fixed. I don't want to be chapped or act like I'm your chap anymore. I just want to go back to the way I was before. A once full and vibrant star. I'm done pretending like a Hollywood star. I'm not looking for people to see me as their idol. I just want something to motivate me, something to fight for. Fall into my eyes, if you do you'll see that I only want you to accept me. Love me as if I'm your child and maybe then I'll truly be able to smile in front of the curtain this time. Can you see the true me when you look into my eyes?

If I shoot my shot it’s do or die, if she says no the result is suicide, but I won’t go out like that, so I pick up the Bible and get right with God because I don’t know when my time will come. They tell me to open up and spill my heart out more. They are blinded to see that my heart went cold more than a decade ago, so every now and then I go over seas thinking that it will make up for things that he did to me and my family. He’s the reason why I am who I am today. The best thing to do is pray that I make it to see 22 because the cops want to beat us black and blue, and in my city teens killing teens as if one is a germ and the other listerine. I guess God made me with a cold soul and a warm heart because one day I’m like why can’t we just love each other and be human beings and the next, I’m like fuck everything.

Tell me when to stop tell me when to go. When will I finally reach you? When will I finally know? Will you tell me to turn or go straight? Will I eventually burn if my praise is fake? Show me the light in the dark so I can finally see. No more will I be oblivious to this harsh reality. I hear more pops from guns than Rice krispies. I want my people to be free. People say we are I don't think that's the case. Am I crazy? I'm not a racist but can I put these crackers in a box like the one they built for us? We're still chained to a fake reality, can we chain them so they can see what's the fuss? Am I not allowed to do the same? Even when they hanged my ancestors and people still today and burned them with flames. Don't tell me when to go 'cause I won't be able to stop once I begin to fight. I want to go but you keep me at the stop light.

J.Rose