not a victim

just spoke to the boy I'm in love with over the phone.. He is also my ex boyfriend as of last night. i am in love, because i hear his voice and it's husky, and relaxed, and i have to keep asking him to repeat what he's saying because i get lost in the sound of the things he's sliding out of his mind. i can just imagine how relaxed and uncaring his lips look. i broke up with this boy, who's skin is rough and who's smell is intoxicating, sweet tobacco and cologne; i ended it with this boy, because i can't make a relationship feel right, because no matter how in love or infatuated with someone i am, it doesn't feel right. Because i still haven't found whatever is missing from my heart that would make it complete. so i said goodbye to this boy, because i love him too much.. And will probably end up breaking his heart later, so why drag it out.