Eloise

Why do you ask questions to act like you care but you don't give a shit about the answer, you're just doing it to make yourself feel like you're a good person

finally realised I only get people to care about me if I try to make them care, no one cares otherwise, fed up of feeling manipulative when I shouldn't have to do that for people I give time and love to

Nothing helps anymore I just make things worse, ppl say they're there but when you're insecure about being annoying telling them problems just makes me more annoying in my mind, I thought I was gonna be better at uni this time but I still put everything off and am scared if what I'm doing is right or good enough

I just have so much love i wanna fucking use it up like let me love you ffs, let me buy shit for you and plan things i wanna put in so much effort but i cant do it when i know you dont rlly care, feel like I just wanted to run forever there's so much built up energy for all the wrong things, idk how to direct this energy into being productive

If only you knew that you're in my head every 5 minutes, I wonder if you'd even care, is it all just a game or do you really have emotions, I want to b done w this but I literally can't stop, I'm addicted to you and idk if you've manipulated me to be like this or if you're unaware of your power tbh