2 Pence Worth

1. Take some time out to recuperate. You can’t keep going if you’re running on empty.

2. Take a step back to try and gain perspective – as sometimes we can’t see the woods for the trees.

3. Attempt to take stock of the current situation. Evaluate what you really want and need.

4. Try to re-evaluate your current strategy. What things are working and what things should you change?

5. Don’t be afraid to change direction if you need to. Sometimes that is the best thing – and it opens up new options.

1. Remind yourself that you are not who other people think or say you are.

2. Remind yourself that everybody makes mistakes at times, has areas of weakness, and things they want to change.

3. Remind yourself of ways in which you’ve grown and changed with time. You’re not who you once were - so celebrate how far you’ve come.

4. Also, the ending isn’t written and the future isn’t fixed. You’re free to change your image, and an old identity.

5. Identify the lies you have believed about yourself – and work on changing them so they’re more accurate and true. Also, don’t reinforce those lies by acting like you think they’re true.

6. Remember that your feelings are not the same as facts. Don’t live based on your feelings … as that will keep you trapped.

The following tips can help your mental health:

· Daydream – Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a dream location. Breathe slowly and deeply. Whether it’s a beach, a mountaintop, a hushed forest or a favourite room from your past, let the comforting environment wrap you in a sensation of peace and tranquility.

· “Collect” positive emotional moments – Make it a point to recall times when you have experienced pleasure, comfort, tenderness, confidence, or other positive emotions.

· Learn ways to cope with negative thoughts – Negative thoughts can be insistent and loud. Learn to interrupt them. Don’t try to block them (that never works), but don’t let them take over. Try distracting yourself or comforting yourself, if you can’t solve the problem right away.

· Do one thing at a time – For example, when you are out for a walk or spending time with friends, turn off your cell phone and stop making that mental “to do” list. Take in all the sights, sounds and smells you encounter.

· Exercise – Regular physical activity improves psychological well-being and can reduce depression and anxiety. Joining an exercise group or a gym can also reduce loneliness, since it connects you with a new set of people sharing a common goal.

· Enjoy hobbies – Taking up a hobby brings balance to your life by allowing you to do something you enjoy because you want to do it, free of the pressure of everyday tasks. It also keeps your brain active.

· Set personal goals – Goals don’t have to be ambitious. You might decide to finish that book you started three years ago; to take a walk around the block every day; to learn to knit or play bridge; to call your friends instead of waiting for the phone to ring. Whatever goal you set, reaching it will build confidence and a sense of satisfaction.

· Keep a journal (or even talk to the wall!) – Expressing yourself after a stressful day can help you gain perspective, release tension and even boost your body’s resistance to illness.

· Share humour – Life often gets too serious, so when you hear or see something that makes you smile or laugh, share it with someone you know. A little humour can go a long way to keeping us mentally fit!

· Volunteer – Volunteering is called the “win-win” activity because helping others makes us feel good about ourselves. At the same time, it widens our social network, provides us with new learning experiences and can bring balance to our lives.

· Treat yourself well – Cook yourself a good meal. Have a bubble bath. See a movie. Call a friend or relative you haven’t talked to in ages. Sit on a park bench and breathe in the fragrance of flowers and grass. Whatever it is, do it just for you.

1. What option would I choose if I knew I would definitely succeed?

2. What would I do if I didn’t feel scared?

3. Who can I talk to who’s been in my shoes?

4. What are the likely outcomes of each choice and decision?

5. What is the worst thing that could happen; what is the best thing that could happen?

The following suggestions may be helpful for a person who finds that they are struggling with low self-esteem:

1. It starts with a decision to be your own person. Don’t live your life to please, or to impress, someone else.

2. Try and grasp the fact we’re different and have different goals and values … And don’t be swayed by other people who criticise your dreams.

3. Don’t compare your path or journey to someone else’s journey as we start from different places and face different challenges.

4. Be kind, understanding and patient with yourself. Accept that failures and mistakes are part of everybody’s life. Also, choose to frame mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. You need to root for yourself, and seek to be your own best friend. Don’t denigrate yourself – in public, or when you’re alone.

6. Remind yourself a weakness can become a strength, in time. It takes patience effort – but, eventually, things change!

7. Make a list of what you’re good at, and keep adding to the list. Also, note the strengths that others see, and comment on, as well.

8. Treat yourself with respect and praise the things that you do well. Don’t write them off as “nothing”, or as being “no big deal”. 9. Find ways to dissipate and channel negative emotions. Don’t allow them to dictate the way you start to see yourself.

10. Spend time with those who like you, and can see your worth and value … And, ignore those who attack you, and would like to see you fail.

11. Choose to stand up for yourself, and value being more assertive. Also, decide to start to set and then enforce appropriate, healthy boundaries.

1. Other peoples’ expectations of you. At the end of the day, it’s your life not their life - so just be yourself and set,and go for, your own goals.

2. What other people say and do. It’s not up to us to control other people, or to change how they act, or to make their decisions.

3. Expecting perfection. It’s unrealistic to aim for perfection. You’ll just be disappointed and discouraged all the time.

4. Getting it wrong. We all make mistakes in our journey through this life. That’s simply part of learning, and being normal and human.

6. Fitting in. Although social skills matter, and it’s good to think of others, you also need to be yourself - a special, unique individual. Beware - conformity can kill individuality.

7. Being right. This is highly over-rated and can cause a lot of stress. If you’re confident and real you don’t need to prove you’re right!

1. The need to always be right – and to be affirmed by others as being right.

2. The need to control other people, and the circumstances of your life.

3. Any tendency to play “the victim role”.

4. Negative and destructive self-talk.

5. Self-defeating and limiting core beliefs. (“I’m worthless; no-one will ever want or love me; I’ll never amount to anything in life.”)

6. Whining and complaining – about your own personal weaknesses and failures … or the flaws and shortcomings of others … or difficult, unjust or trying circumstances.

7. A critical and harsh attitude.

8. The need to please and impress other people (or to live up to other people’s expectations).

9. Being paralysed by anxiety and fear – so you won’t take risks or try different things.

1. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are SO MANY OTHERS who feel the same way, too.

2. Remember it’s a pattern and you often feel this way. You know your inner critic always seeks to bring you down!

3. Remind yourself you’re trying to make progress and to change. Your heart is in the right place – so be patient with yourself.

4. Forgive yourself for failing or for saying something stupid. Cut yourself some slack, forget it, let it go, and start again.

5. Try to spend time with people who accept you as you are, and who sees your strengths and good points, your potential, and true worth.

6. Don’t think about your failures. They are firmly in the past. Visualise yourself being someone that you’re proud of, and you like!

1. Check your nutrition. Sometimes high levels of anxiety are caused by a magnesium or potassium deficiency.

2. Pay attention to your caffeine levels. Coffee, tea and chocolate all contain reasonable levels of caffeine. This can make you jittery, or increase your feelings of anxiety.

3. Try meditation and mindfulness. These help to keep you focused on the here and now, to slow your heartbeat and breathing down, as well as helping to relax your mind.

4. Work on maintain a healthy self-esteem. Many people who feel anxious, stressed or depressed are actually suffering from low self-esteem.

5. Find a trusted sounding board, and vent your feelings to them – but make sure it’s someone who understands and cares.

6. Exercise – This releases endorphins, those feel-good hormones, which help reduce our feelings of anxiety.

7. Distract yourself. Take your mind off your worries by doing other things that require concentration, and a focused state of mind.