Weed 3ater

Every 50 notes is a day.

The American Dream is LGBT.

@ bottoms stop keysmashing every 3 fucking minutes. We get it. Youre a pillow princess. No need to hdjrkrk keysmash hfjjrjf all the damn time hdjejdk

Bitch do you expect me to ha ha? You expect me to lol? Fucking chortle? Is that what you want? A good lmao?

@bonkcreat

*wants to do stand-up comedy, but i have the same sense of humor that all of tumblr does so it will only cater to this one website’s audience*

*wants to do comedy, but the only sense of humour I have is based entirely off responding to other people*

*starts wanting to make a comedy group so we can have fun doing stand up on discord or something*

*starts wanting to have friends to talk to and joke around with*

I will take care of the erectile dysfunctions who have served this country so bravely.

Come get this dick-fil-a

Yeah being hyperflexible is great until you end up pinning the contence of two bookshelves to a cupboard with ur arms bent at really weird angles.

Vending machine?

No my fucking bookshelf broke

me, making out with the back of my phone: theres lip balm back here i promise i'm not just smooching my beautiful garfurb sticker

You have lip balm on the back of your phone?