stay made of lightning

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

Had an abortion and the planned parenthood staff brought out a sombrero and a fried ice cream w a sparkler in it and sang a song about how I shouldn’t feel bad because the baby was ugly

*after saying something horny* but I forget myself

this lamb keeps trying to sacrifice itself even though no one really needs or wants it to do that

permission to speak feebly?

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

it’s okay guys I’m literally as normal as a person in my situation can be

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

on a scale of nothingburger to everything bagel

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.