stay made of lightning

how to live a life for beginners

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

DJ keep the music volume the exact same

"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.

someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice

me seeing a take i disagree with and piously allowing it to pass (mostly) unremarked upon: I'm sort of like a modern day saint

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

I hope everyone loses the world cup and then the universe explodes

Sorry to everyone who DMs me only to find I am actually terrible at actual human interaction

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger