hey

bro 1: do you want a protein shake bro? bro 2: nah bro bro 1: why bro? bro 2: because you’re the only one who gives me strength bro bro 1: bro.

Don’t get me wrong, sex is great, but I would rather spend the night learning everything about you and hearing every story you have. To me, that’s far more intimate.

god, the amount of fucking that tumblr wants to do to venom is astronomical. y’all really be out here with urls like venom-what-that-tongue-do-666 huh

and what about it

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

Me, getting murdered: be gentle it’s my first time

detective: [kneels down looking over a dead body] hm. gross

He has escaped

im the grandma

im the guy listening to music