Dear Josue,
Just like the previous two boys I've written to, you were also a first crush. You were officially my first REAL crush though, the first one I obsessed about and whose face I still remember.
Lets go back to second grade.
So I lived in Mexico with my grandparents until I was six years old. My mom was living in the United States where she gave birth to my brother so they were now living there. When I was going to enter 2nd grade my mom asked if I wanted to go live with her which of course I was so excited. I had missed her so much. My mom was living with one of her sisters (my aunt) who had two daughters, lexi and mickey. My mom was technically and illegal immigrant. She had crossed legally with a tourist visa, but just overstayed her welcome. She worked as house keeper for a very long time, even while my brother was a baby. I'm so proud of my mom for her hustle, she really is my hero. Anyway, so my mom enrolled me in the elementary near by where because my birthday was late in September they had argued that I should be placed in 1st grade. My mom was not having any of it. She argued that I was already in 1st grade in Mexico and that I needed to go on into 2nd grade. According to my mom, they had me take a couple of exams and determined that I was in fact smart enough to be placed in the 2nd grade.
Now, I dont remember if I was in ESL classes or bilingual classes, I'm not familiar with the program i was placed in. I just know that the class was in Spanish with some English sprinkled in.
So anyway, one of my classmates was this beautiful boy, you.
You really were the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. I still have our class picture, and I can still see the you were the cutest in the class. As I started telling my friends about my crush, suddenly I discovered that I was not the only one under your spell. Who could even blame them. Of course we were all too young for you to even care. It was just all of us girls swooning over you.
Now I'm not sure if you were only my classmate in 2nd grade, but I do know that my crush lasted during 3rd and 4th grade. Every time I would see you in the playground, there I was stalking you with my eyes. I remember we would even go on the same bus, so i lowkey knew where you lived. One of my aunts lived near you so a lot of times I would beg my mom for us to drive by your house, she had no idea why. I just kept telling her "I just want to look at the houses here". Damn, my stalker years really started off when i was young.
The only memory I can think of right now of "interaction" that we had, wasn't even really a one on one. But since it was humiliating it stuck in my brain.
So at home, my mom would always playfully spank me and say "andele". So one day in class I did that to my female friend. Playfully I came behind her and spanked her while saying "andele" which just means 'there you go'. So a boy saw me and was shook and went over to tell you. I was right there when he told you the following....keep in mind, we were like 7 years old, "do you know what a lesbian is?" you nodded your head, "well, thats what she is, she just spanked her". Um excuse me sir, what? To be honest, i dont think I even knew what a lesbian was, but i used context clues to figure it out. I was just embarrassed on being called out liked that and that it was now what you thought of me. But in fact, I dont think we ever actually crossed any words. It was just my villain stalker origin story.
Like I said, my crush lasted a good 3 years (2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade). When it came down for middle school, I had moved so I was now going to a different school in a whole different part of town. So no one that I grew up with was going to be there. And I thought I was never going to see you again.....WRONG.
Years had passed, and my life had changed. Last time I had seen you I was around 9 years old, and all of a sudden here I was 13 years old seeing you again. I actually saw all my old friends but that's a story for a different time. I knew the second I saw you that it was you. Of course you were so much taller, a big bigger, but your beautiful face was still the same. I no longer had any feelings for you, but seeing you from far away was enough for a closure. I just turned around and walked away.
Will I ever see you again? Eh, I probably have but I just didnt realize. But, I'll just keep you in my childhood memory.
EDIT: OMG! I decided to look you up on fb, and I have a friend in common with you (who happened to be my best friend back in 2nd grade), and DAMMMMNN BOY! You look fineee! If I wasn't married and pregnant I'd be sliding in your DM's...just kidding. I'd be too chicken.
