25 Days of Last Christmas

We made it, you guys! The one, the only, the ORIGINAL Wham! version of this song is available to you on YouTube. Remastered in stunning 4K, this Christmas classic will be sure to delight your family and friends when you stream it on a loop in your home for the remainder of Christmas day and into the new year. While you're at it, you can stream the other 24 versions that I've posted on a loop as well. Here's a link to the entire playlist.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, etc. This has been grueling but ultimately fun. Hope you've enjoyed it as well! *cheers

bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum! bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum! (yeeeaaaahhhhh yeeeah!) BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM (HAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!)

Don't be "Leaving Town" just yet (see what I did there; it's that other Dexter Freebish song)! It's only day 23, so buckle in we're in for a doooooozy! Surprisingly, this version incorporates a bit of a doo wop rhythm (a la "Earth Angel") before climaxing in a distortian-laden finale ("uh huh uh whooo uh huh uh"). I'm running out of drink ideas (and f*cks to give) so maybe just slurp some Fireball through a candy cane straw and call it festive?

I don’t know about you, but I’m feelin’ (December) 22! One year after her debut album (Taylor Swift) and one year before she shot into the stratosphere with her second album (Fearless), a then 17-year-old Taylor Swift released "The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection," an platinum-selling EP of Christmas songs that included this cover of "Last Christmas." It's worth noting that, as I've been diligently researching covers for this list, Taylor's version of the song seems to have popped up almost as often as the original. It's a little bit twangy, a little bit country and a whole lot of fun! Pour yourself a Diet Coke and vodka, put on your favorite hat/boots combo and do-si-do or whatever it is you do when line dancing (I have no clue; I don't do that sort of thing).

I can imagine you sitting there, kicking back, wishing on a Christmas star that maybe - just MAYBE - there might one day be a 7 minute reggae version of "Last Christmas". Well, I'm here to tell you that your dream has come true (or, you know, it came true in 1995). Get up stand up for your right to pour yourself a Red Stripe, kick back and get comfortable because BOY OH BOY this somehow feels longer than 7 minutes. Spoiler alert: it’s terrible.

This is a fun one, guys. I like her voice and the production is, frankly, a breath of fresh air after some of the versions of this song I have listened to over the past month. Just some light, airy keyboard and drum synths and well-recorded vocals. Nothing fussy or complicated, but spatially it's pleasing to my weary ears. Admittedly, I was completely unaware of Riley Clemmons before coming across this track and, from what I've heard, she's got some pretty good songs. A nice revelation overall. Maybe listen to this one while sipping a nice glass of Christmas punch?

There’s a sound effect that occurs frequently in this track that sounds roughly like a pneumatic drill, and it’s often paired with the phrase “chick-k-kahh (whispered)”. Also, the WAY she says “Maybe….NEXT year? *kick rocks and winky poos” at the end is just unfathomably cutesy and gooey and drippy and SACCHARINE that I...what’s that you say? You’re not familiar with the term "saccharine"? Here, let me define it for you:

sac·cha·rine /ˈsak(ə)rən/

adjective

1. excessively sweet or sentimental.    "saccharine music" synonyms: sentimental, oversentimental, over-emotional, mawkish, cloying, sickly, sugary, syrupy, sickening, nauseating, maudlin, lachrymose, banal...

2. relating to or containing sugar; sugary.

3. this damn song

Best paired with a shot of pure sugar mixed into a Capri Sun that has been laced with pixie stick dust and stirred with a candy cane. *boop

At the 2:07 mark, our hero (the titular "Crazy Frog") is faced with a choice: either he says "Ding! Ding!" or he gets smashed by a hammer. It occurs to me that this is a powerful metaphor for the pressure of expectation in our daily lives. In a way, aren't we all this frog? In a way, aren't we also the hammer? In a way, isn't most stress brought on by the shame of failing one's own expectations? Say Ding Ding! Say Ding Ding! SAY DING DING!

Oh, so this originally appeared on the "The Crazy Christmas Edition" of the album "Crazy Frog Presents: Crazy Hits" in 2005. You can read about the "phenomenon" of Crazy Frog here if you like, but honestly I'd rather just get smashed by that hammer.

Yes, this is the guy from Savage Garden. Yes, this is from a Christmas album named after Rosie O'Donnell that features Rosie on the cover dressed like an elf holding a microphone. No, Rosie O'Donnell does not sing on this track. Other than that, there's not a lot to unpack here. It's cool that he includes the line "guilty feet have got no rhythm" from Wham’s "Careless Whisper" I guess. The guy sings well and the track is professionally produced. Maybe sip on a nice cup of wassail and listen to this one in the background while arguing with your uncle about politics and human rights issues? There's nothing savage about that, is there?

Day 16 finds us checking in on a then 21 year old Ariana Grande, bopping around in her signature pony tail and confidently belting riffs and runs like a seasoned pro. Ariana's version (which originally appeared on her 2013 "Christmas Kisses EP") notably has completely different verses and only retains the chorus from the original. It's bouncy and fun and honestly it's a nice change of pace. Plus, she gets extra points for not falling off of those 19 inch heels and face planting into the audience! Fun drinking game idea: take a drink every time she sings "ooh baybay" and a shot every time she belts out one of her "oohyayeeyeah" runs. On second thought, nobody wants to spend the holidays recovering from alcohol poisoning in an emergency room...

Owww baybeeee! Now THIS is some yuletide punk rawk! OH oh oh ohhhhhh! The way he screams the "dahhh dahhh dah dah dah dah dahhhh" part around 42 seconds in is glorious. "Once bittahn twice shyhihihi" is pretty good as well. In all honesty at this point I'll take any variation in the traditional structure of this song I can get. Also, the guitarist guy does a pretty sweet jump at around 2:35 so make sure you stick around for that bit. Does PBR come in a Christmas-themed can? Am I beginning to repeat myself? What is existence?

I don't speak French, so honestly I'm just assuming that this is the song "Last Christmas". For all I know she could be singing the lyrics to "White Christmas" to the tune of "Last Christmas". Boy oh boy, if that were the case I would be extremely embarrassed. Mortified even. Helpfully, the French lyrics are subtitled on the screen but, what am I going to do...type them all out and run them through Google translate? Come on...that would take...who knows how long?

Update: OK, so I put the first few lines into Google translate and it came out as "at noel I gave you my heart" so I figured it was close enough. Pop open a nice bottle of French Champagne and enjoy a holiday baguette, or maybe some French Toast? Joyeux Noël!

This! This is just what I needed! It’s Friday, December 13th and I’ve been listening to so many versions of “Last Christmas” that I think it’s starting to get to me. Luckily there was this magnificent cat version to pull me back from sanity’s edge. Pour yourself a nice glass of milk and make sure you stick around until the end and watch them open their presents. Meowst Christmas ammirite?!

This version flat out rocks! This is what...day 12 of this thing? I have to be honest, I was starting to get a bit tired of this song (believe it or not!), but then I heard this version and it woke me back up. I think I may now have the strength I need to continue. Oh, back to the track...I love how Dacus and her band propel through this song like a runaway train that eventually goes off the tracks. Crack open a Four Loko and get ready for a good old fashioned yuletide vamp session. That primal scream at the end kills me! This track rules!

I don't know how to describe this version without using the word "cute". I DEFY you to describe this performance without using the word "cute". DEFY you, I say. They are dressed like four cute little Santa Clauses and they are sort of clapping but not really because actual clapping would not be as cute as what they're actually doing. Would you just look at them sitting on the steps and rocking back and forth? WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM? And THEN they do the cutest little Korean version of "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" you're likely to ever see. Pour yourself a nice glass of Soju and get ready to smile because I seriously enjoyed this one a lot.

I don't have a lot to say about this one, other than it may be one of the laziest covers of this song I've heard so far. It really doesn't stray very far from the original and when it does, it only seems to make things worse. I do not get it! Oh well at least the music video is cool (just kidding it's stitched-together clips of the band playing other songs and kids throwing snowballs in the park or some such nonsense). Oh cool...Miley Cyrus' brother Trace is in this band. He's the one with the tattoos and the piercings. I'm really trying to find something to talk about here because the more I listen to this the more bored I get. Pour yourself a room temperature glass of tap water and...enjoy?

"Live" is a misnomer here in that you can very obviously tell that this is NOT live (what is that guitarist even doing for most of the song?) but at least she practiced her struts, dips and doe-eyed winky-poos. All that aside, I guess this arrangement is fun to listen to. Whoa, she even choreographed her shoulder movements. Impressive. Oh I just noticed that she actually goes live at the last "oh lah lah lah lah". Neat. Guess you could crack open an ice cold Pepsi and bob your head to this particular bop. *wink wink dip