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The cold air got to my lungs, the scarves in front of my mouth couldn’t block out the nip of the 30 degree weather caressing my nose. Driving in the mountains with you and you and you and you was the most beautiful i’ve ever felt. We all screamed, the way it should be, our voices sounding like different instruments with the song on the stereo. She said, it’s okay if we die right now, it would be alright. I hesitated to smile because honest words have always scared me, so I looked out the window and mouthed the lyrics to myself. Sun streaked seats, and a meadow in my dream full of cherry blossom touched with snow. I kiss the sky and my lips turn purple, and no they are not numb, just full of the longing for youth. The moment before I die will I say out loud, will I think to myself, this would be alright. Will I know, will it pull on the back of my shoulder and whisper into my ear, get ready? My black ring will fall into the bottom of the ocean as I swim, my best friend at my side, it will sink, go down deeper, I now know it’s doing alright. No one will choke on it, no necks will get caught in between the silver, my death will take nobody down with me; the sea otters will play, the bears reminiscence, the girl will live when she thinks of drowning herself–it will go on, the wings will spread and I’ll dive into the ocean and find my ring, it will still fit perfectly, like a head dress made out of roses for a child. She mentions dying, can music push you forward until you take the plunge? My heaven will have a white chain linked fence that a girl will climb over wearing a bathing suit during a warm winter day. Her bathing suit will rip and she’ll laugh and say oops, because it really isn’t her bathing suit and even though this is Heaven, we still feel like we are breaking into someplace we shouldn’t be. The sun will hit her eyes and I’ll see a part of the ocean with fire, is that even possible? She lets me in and we dive into the water. I will hear her say, I always wanted to drown, and I will remember how I disagreed.