Modern Animal Family Farm
Based on the TV Show Modern Family - Disneyland Episode (E22, S3)
By Ana Garrido, Guilherme Lima and Helena Benain
Synopsis:
What if Napoleon had actually raised Clover and Muriel (who is supposed to be masculine) as siblings, because their mother, who used to, long ago, be married to Napoleon, had run away and left her kids with him. Boxer didn't die, and was married to Clover, who had together three foals, the older one called Clover The Second, the middle one called Marie Curie and the younger, Boxer Junior. Muriel turned out to be gay, and was married to Moses, who together had adopted an asian monkey who was found lost in animal farm, whose name was Lily. A decade after, Mollie, who used to be Clover and Muriel's colleague, came back to Animal Farm with her son, Benjamin, and was now dating Napoleon, leaving a confusing and weird relationship within the family. In this episode, everyone goes to Disneyland for a fun family trip and is narrated by Napoleon.
Text:
It was Saturday morning, and everyone was excited for the family trip I had planned, except for Benjamin:
Can't you and Mom go without me? - complained Benjamin
You are the kid here. You go - I replied, so he answered:
Well, it couldn't come on a worse day, the technology sector is tanking!
Benjamin was doing this stock market project in school that I don't understand the purpose of, as they are using fake money. He was desperate as it was the last day until the deadline and he wanted to be rich.
Do you really want girls who only want you for money? - I questioned
I'd like to have that optionâŚÂ
Benjamin, put the stock away, and put your Mickey ears on - walked in the room Mollie wearing high heels
Mom.. - murmured Benjamin - I don't think I have to wear theseâŚ
Be a kid! Put them on. - shouted Mollie, however, I was annoyed by her shoes, so I questioned:
Really? Those shoes?
What my shoes?
Do you know how much walking you have to do at Disneyland? Why do you think they have scooters for fat animals?
I like my high heels, I'm fine.
It's just like when you refuse to bring a jacket when I ask, and then you are cold and shivering, and I look like the jerk who won't give his girlfriend his jacket
Are you done with your boring jacket story? Because we're going to hit traffic.
Ok, but I'm not giving you my shoes!
While me and Mollie discussed, Boxer and Junior were into something.
Please, Please, Please! - asked Junior together with Boxer
Ok, but what is this - Marie asked walking in the room
We're making sure I'm tall enough to ride the rides at Disneyland without having to spike up my hair.
Buddy, we are good to go! - celebrated Boxer and Junior with a high-five - I've been waiting for this day ever since the doctor pointed to the ultrasound of your mom's womb and said "Either that's a fifth limb, or"âŚ
Ok, no. Gross - interrupted Clover The Second
All right everyone, I want everybody to eat a lot at home because the happiest place on Earth is also home to the most expensive churro on Earth - demanded Clover walking in with a plate full of waffles
This is going to be sooo awesome - said Boxer while taking a big bite in his smiley-whipped-cream-face waffle.
After 2 and a half full hours on the road, we all arrived at Disneyland.
You know, I haven't been here since Dad brought us when we were kids - Murriel said to Clover
Oh yeah, remember? You cried in that Abraham Lincoln thing - replied Clover pinching my cheeks
He was a great president. And was the first robot I ever saw - I explained
Actually that day, me and their mother got into this big fight over something, not a surprise, so I ended up taking them on my own. Clover's biggest fear at the time was running into the evil queen, while mine was that I had married her
Okay people over 10 hands high, first stop, Indiana Jones!! - excitedly said Boxer
Have fun in the teacups, Lily - Junior made fun of the little monkey
Okay just a sec here everybody - said Moses clipping something into Lily's backpack
Is that a leash? - asked Mollie
No, it is a child safety tether! This way sweetie - Moses pulled Lily
It was a leash. What happens is, Lily was going through a phase in which she bolted every chance she'd got, so they decided to put her on a leash.
Lily sweetie, don't pull - asked Moses, so I of course said:
Lily, heel!!
Dad, please - complained Murriel, when suddenly Lily started barking - honey, you are not helping⌠Oh Moses, everybody is looking at us. I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.
Well, but maybe they are staring because we have what they want - calmly said Moses, so Muriel ironically replied:
Sure, a pet daughter.
You know, I don't care what people think, if I thought it would keep my daughter safe, I would have a kangaroo pouch sewn into my midriff
Oh, that would work out really well for you! As a single parent. I'm done with it, let's just treat her like a free animal, like us, and she is going to act like one - so Muriel takes the leash off her - see?
Chip'n'Dale! - Lily starts running
Oh great - grumbles Moses - Now she's chasing squirrels! Lily! Come back!! - he shouts running after her
While everyone was leading to their first ride, there was Benjamin, in the phone:
Look, Ruben, I have some underperformers I have to unload and I don't have access to a computer, log in as "Ben10Jamin"
Benjamin! - called Mollie, but Benjamin ignored
By all means, Ruben, go get a Popsicle while the Nikkei closes, I don't want to be a pauper.
Come on! - Mollie pulled Benjamin
Mom! My stock just took a dive.
Your phone is the one about to take a dive! - she replied with anger
Where do we wanna go next guys? - I asked trying to break the ice
Let's go to the Jungle Cruise, it's right there! - answered Mollie
Why? Tired of walking on those heels?
No. Are you tired of having a hot girlfriend?
You know why the fight with Clover and Murriel's mother was actually about? I had taped a football game over an episode of Dallas. Who bails on a family trip to Disneyland over something like that? Ironically, Dallas was playing in the game. I remember pointing that out to her. But I also remember a video cassette flying at my head.
So Junior came running while I talked to Clover:Â
Mom! - then came Boxer behind him, tripping every two steps - It was so awesome! The jeep was jerking around, and there was a lot of sharp turns and giant drops
Wow! Are you ok? - said Clover referring to Boxer
Great! Why wouldn't I be?
Because you are kind of leaning on me.
Well, isn't that what a marriage is?
Clover walks away behind Junior
You look like hell! - I pointed to Boxer
Yeah I do feel a little dizzy. I think that ride did something to me.
The fluid on your inner ear is thickening, Boxer. That's what happens when you get old.
Is it? - he replied upset
Yeah, you can't take the motion. I gotta pop a Dramamine to get in my swivel chair.
That is not it. I'm the king of rollercoasters! I think I just put too big of a whipped cream smile on my waffle this morning.
Junior comes back running while eating something:
Do you guys wanna go on Matterhorn?
Junior, I think me and your Dad are gonna sit this one out, maybe get something to drink
No! You're gonna have to get that drink on your own, Napoleon, I still have a few good years left, Junior!! Wait up!! I'll race you there!!
Boxer clearly did not have a "few good years left".
This was when Benjamin, with a grumpy face and Mollie, brushing her hair, arrived from the roller coaster they just had gone on
How was Splash Mountain guys? - I already knew Mollie had hated it
It was great! Maybe me and Benjamin can go again.
No thanks, there was no reception in there. You know how many bars I had? - Benjamin's phone rings - Ruben! Talk to me! - so he walks away
Must be nice to get out of those shoes for a minute. - I made fun of Mollie
I don't know what you are talking about.
Nothing. Oh, by the way, I took a picture of you guys in the Splash drop, let's see how it looks like?
Ok, Napoleon, ok. I took off my heels in there.
Just admit the shoes were a bad idea.
I am not in pain, I just didn't want my favorite walking shoes to get wet there - I knew she was lying
Ok, my bad. Well we've gotta meet everybody in Tomorrowland, so we'd better get moving because it's all the way on the other side of the park
I'm fine. You just try to keep up with me - she said grumbling and tripping. But I couldn't take Mollie suffering her high heels, even though she wouldn't admit. So I went into that Disney souvenir store, and bought the only pair of shoes there was in the store: Minnie Mouse's shoe slippers. I wasn't sure if she would like it, but I bought it anyway, and it wasn't cheap.
Mollie! - I called her
I'm fine, Napoleon.Â
Look, you may not be in pain, but I'm in pain just thinking you're in pain, so humor me for one minute. - so I unpacked the slippers
What are those?
There wasn't a big selection of shoes at Bibbidi Bobbidi BoutiqueâŚ
Are you crazy? I cannot walk around in public wearing these things. They are so yellow and so ugly and⌠and⌠they are so softy and so comfortable⌠Napoleon what is this? You are such a good man Napoleon⌠- Mollie said, hugging me. Of course she had loved them, and they weren't that ugly
Oh⌠I didn't expect you to be so nice Mollie. Now please don't get all humany when I say this. Is it possible you get angry, from time to time, because you are always wearing⌠uncomfortable shoes?
Maybe⌠Maybe they also have purple of these?Â
Whatever you want Mollie.
And.. and we were going around a corner, and I was screaming, and I swallowed a bug! - came Junior back from the rollercoaster - What should we do next?
Sit down⌠- said Boxer tiredly coming behind Junior
Where are we gonna sit down?
The ground⌠Here. This is good. - so Boxer felt on the ground
Oh! Dad! Are you ok?
No buddy⌠I hate to say this but these rides are killing meâŚ
But you are the king of the rollercoasters!
I know⌠Something happens when you get older⌠Guess you can't take it
Dad, we can always find cool stuff to do together⌠even if you're old and in a wheelchair, I can take you to the top of Sugarcandy Mountain and push you as fast as I can.
Really? You'd do that?
That sounds fun!
Do you still wanna talk orâŚ
No, go Boxer. Ride Space Mountain, but in the end when they take a picture do something hilarious for both of us
Haha ok, you are gonna die!... when you see it, not because you are old. - so Junior goes away running, when suddenly:
Lily! Lily! Dad grab her! - so I instantly grabbed the little running monkey - Oh thank you, Dad - said Muriel putting the leash back on Lily
I don't like this thing - she complains
Well, I don't like running like a crazy through Downtown Disney. Oh Dad I don't know what to do! - but of course, I had a brilliant idea:
Muriel the leash is not the answer. I'll fix this in two minutes. Come on baby girl! - so I grabbed Lily's hand, and walked back into Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique - We'll be right back
While I was performing my brilliant plan, Mollie and Benjamin hadn't stopped arguing:
Benjamin, you don't look happy enough for a kid who is flying an elephant.
I lost at Durkas! That's not fair! Ruben ruined everything!
Fake money has changed you, Benjamin! Where is the Benjamin who used to stop to smell the roses? You've been so busy bearing your face in your phone that you barely said hello to your family!
Ok, you're right⌠What's that on your feet?
Slippers! They feel like clouds!
And that was when I came back with Lily, wearing baby high heels!
Look! I love them! - said the monkey to her fathers
Moses, look at this⌠she can't barely move. Thank you Dad.
Gathering the whole family back together Clover pointed out:
Oh Boxer, you look terrible⌠and you are burning! You might have the flu!
Oh⌠there were a bunch of guys working in the new windmill with me that got the flu. It makes sense! Junior, did you hear that? I've got the flu!! - both celebrated with a high-five.Â
I guess it's been a long day, right everyone? - said Marie
No! No one goes home until we hit the Lincoln thing - I demanded
Ah..
Yawn.. - the kids protested
Don't even try to fight it. He made us go when we were kids. - mentioned Muriel
Come on guys! It's a robotic president! What 's not to love?
I actually cried in this Lincoln thing that day I forced Murriel and Clover to go with me as kids not because he was a good president, but because my plans were to end everything with their mother later that day. I don't know exactly what happened, maybe it was about what the robot said about a "man's duty" or keeping union, but it made me realize staying with my kids was way more important than any farm I have to lead or fight I have to fight, and at the end of the day, that trip was, over everything, an excuse to spend a day with my dear family.













